Pathfinder General /pfg/

Pathfinder General /pfg/

Wierd shit Edition: Was the most Strangest, uncomfortable, downright wrong things you have thrown against your players or have had thrown at you?

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Is that a hole in the middle

Gay Skeleton Parade.

how would you stat a playable giant?

On a lighter topic, have your characters put any buns in any ovens recently?


Actually yes, Honey glazed buns to be exact!


Basically pushed them into killing a newborn hill giant after breaking into the parents' lair, with graphic and abundant depiction of the baby giant's behaviour. Fuckers were getting onto my nerves.

I'd probably make a DSP-tier monster class.
It depends on the type though. Unlike, say, different Skeletons, there's a pretty big difference between a Frost Giant and a Storm Giant.

One player had a necromancer in RotRL and raised a female ogre as a zombie, then used her to beat her own children to death. Got several surprise rounds of "Mama? Mama stop!"


Are you volunteering...?

Potentially. Are you cute?

Unearthed Arcana, or was it Arcana Unearthed, had a playable giant race, might do something like that but expanded.

Have them start Medium with Powerful Build, they can take levels in a Giant class to get bigger and stronger, maybe an option partway through to manifest abilities according to specific types of giants.

Fucking brutal.

the worst thing is, i think that response is in character.

I like to think so.

Workin' on it! tonight

Nope, but their player did

fukken normalfags


Males [ ]
$ Romulus Nohrm (27 years): 6' 6", 210 lbs || 198 cm, 95.3 kg
$ Allanz Gremund (18 years): 5' 11", ??? || 180 cm, ???
$ Sinh (???): ???
$ † Lucius Nacht (18 years): 6' 3", 200 lbs || 190.5 cm, 90.7 kg
$ Dr. Linus Lux (???): ???
$ ‡ Fahd Lutfi (26 years): 4' 7", 97 lbs || 139.7 cm. 44 kg
$ ※ Raine: ...
$ "King" Angelo Sette (???): ???
$ Alkurith Rekanthor (38 years): 4' 8", 54 lbs || 144.2 cm, 24.5 kg
$ Serax (???): ???

† Six foot three as a freshman and weighing in at a Veeky Forums 200 pounds? Is this Chad Thundercock's bigger cousin?
‡ The shortest girl is half a foot taller than him, and the shortest girl with an actual body is almost a full foot taller.
※ I dunno if you realized mate but your character sheet is an F-list...

Females [ ]
$ Emilia Ivanov (20 years): 5' 6", 135 lbs || 167.6 cm, 61 kg
$ Yamelia (???): ???
$ Salacia Mithlaeth (RIP): 5' 8", 160 lbs || 172.3 cm, 72.6 kg
$ Chiundra (315 years): 5' 6", 145 lbs || 167.6 cm, 65.8 kg
$ † Ecaterina (29 days): 7' 3" / 5' 4", 0 lbs || 221.0 cm / 162.6 cm, 0 kg
$ Cijiska (???): ???
$ Umbranae (???): 7' 2.5", ∞ lbs || 220 cm, ∞ kg
$ Ingrid Proteah (31 years): 5'9"
$ Kanna (∞): ???
$ ‡ Konja K. Snusel (17 years): ???
$ Olivia Favillina (23 years): 5' 5", 115 lbs || 165.1 cm, 52.2 kg
$ Helvetica (28 years): 5', 0 lbs || 152.4 cm, 0 kg
$ Kenna Gunnhildr (19 years): 5' 6", 130 lbs || 167.6 cm, 59.0 kg
$ Aeshma (23 years): 5' 11", 125 lbs || 177.8 cm , 56.7 kg
$ Calesedria (???): ???
$ Rhyisjir the Burned (Pending): Pending

† She's the size of a petite hill giant, is this even Medium?
‡ probably damn fucking heavy

Ecaterina (221 cm)
Umbrane (220 cm)
Romulus (198 cm)
Lucius (190.5 cm)

Umbrane (∞)
Konja (~∞)
Romulus (95.3 kg)
Lucius (90.7 kg)

Helvetica (0)
Ecaterina (0)
Alkurith (24.5 kg)
Fahd (44 kg)

Fahd (139.7 cm)
Alkurith (144.2 cm)
Helvetica (152.4 cm)
Olivia (165.1 cm)

Chiundra (315 years)

Ecaterina (29 days)

>ywn Macross love triangle with Kyras and Andrik

It's not fair!

What a coincidence, so did I.

I want to stick a bun in Seska's oven!

Ameiko or Quinn?

Open your copy of the Advanced Race Guide. Realise that Reach is an advanced trait, therefore you need to have a budget of > 10 RP, but if you want it to be playable out of the box, you probably need to stay as close to 11 as you can. Dwarves are 11 RP so you SHOULD be fine at 11.

Type: Humanoid (Giant)
Size: Large (7 RP)
Speed: Normal Speed
Ability Scores: Specialized (+2 Str, +2 Con, -2 Wis, 1 RP), together with size mods the array adds up to +4 Str, -2 Dex, +2 Con, -2 Wis
Languages: either Standard or Xenophobic
Advanced Traits: Reach (1 RP)

We're at 9 RP. Pick 2 RP of flavorful shit and you're done. Healthy? Mountain-born + Plagueborn? Unnatural? Carrion Sense + Plagueborn? Stoneseer? Stonecunning + Stonesinger? Gatecrasher? Whatever strikes your fancy.

You humans all look alike to me, especially from behind. Be more specific.

>actually being balanced

I want to put a bun in Quinn's oven!

Who the fuck is Quinn

Fucking hell,man.

>sympathy for Ogres
They'd do much, much worse to you.


Best/worst part is this player is normally all about paladibs but wanted to try evil. Seemed to just get bored with it though and commited this atrocity by not paying attention to the game. Such casual cruelty, it's a shame he went back to playing LG everywhere.

If you knew about those Ogres you`d have no sympathy.

They are sadistic hillbilly-horror style cannibals.


>The Abyss Knight will never sheathe his exotic blade in your Abyss

Why was I born?

What... What is the meaning of this? Are you trying to elf me?

This in fact, if these are the ogres I'm thinking about n RotRL, the fat mama ogre is a necromancer who fucks, kills, raises, and then fucks again her own incest babiess on a regular basis.

Now that I think about this though, how DOES an Ogre get wizard levels?


She probably ate a bunch of Wizards and somehow absorbed their knowledge like a demented ghoul

Is there any class, not race, that grants the outsider type?

Monks become Native Outsiders at like 20 or something.

That sounds painful!

I think she only kills and eats her female offspring. Her Zombie sons were killed by other shit, like the local rangers.

I think one of the big three casters had some way to go Outsider
I forget though

It hurts a little at first, but the ecstasy soon overwhelms all other sensations!

what's an interesting min/max'd build that isn't optimized for DPR? Or even for combat?

hardmode: no full casters

She does that too, but I could've sworn that she fucks some of her zombie attendants or it's very heavily implied she does.

She's also too fucking fat to move without casting flight.

What happened to Paizo? This shit was bananas, but in a good way.

But he's packing a Nodachi when you'd expect a Dueling Sword, that's almost a full size larger than what you're used to! What if he crits you on the first round?

>no full casters
you lost me

They moved from "dark&edgy" towards "look at how progressive we are", though a bit of that was always there.

How good is their newest Adventure Path, the Lovecraftian one? That certainly offers a lot of room for similiar themes.

Paizo drank the kool-aid and decided they would play it family friendly and fan safe after 3.5e got scoured by the news.

It started as early as Second Darkness, though I'd also make the argument that they only truly fell from grace after making Jade Regent.

They got criticized by some Turbo-sjws and have been apologizing ever since with all of their adventures becoming lukewarm, with a swift death replacing any forms of torture, rape or anything approaching nausea for the reader.

They're too afraid to write out real villains anymore. Most of the worst things their villains have done are merely implied now, and left to the table's GM to use his/her imagination for. An easy out for the company.

>What if he crits you on the first round?

You should hope so! A man that can consistently give you crits is worth greedily hoarding away for future use!

Let me snooze, ruse ooze.

>It started as early as Second Darkness
Isn't this the same AP where you need to disguise yourself as sexy drow female maids or some shit to infiltrate the Underdark?
>Jade Regeant
Care to explain?

Also what is with /pfg/'s 180 on Jade Regeant? From my understanding it was one of the worse adventure paths.
>, rape or anything approaching nausea for the reader.
I don't recall rape coming up at all in any modules explicitly. There is one istance where a Lust Spawn in Godsmouth Heresy will try to drag away any K.O/Killed PC to "have it's way with before killing and consuming".

Was hoping for before 20, like, 10 or so

Itd have to gestalt with Oracle.

If Overlewd were to close right now and you could only choose one (1) male app to get in, who would you choose? Anyone who applied with a male app is not welcome to speak.
My pick: Raine solely for being an LGfag so he can be ruined by the Evil and Neutral-Leaning-Evil girls.

That's stupid -
>it's real
o shit

Seconding Raine. He needs to get tamed by monstergirl cock.
Nobody can beat the cock.

AKA Guaranteed Pick.
So a LG Paladin, a Succubed, a three head dragon, Zealot-chan, and the Elvis Ghoul walk into a damage.

Is anything stopping a character from targeting a midair grid intersection?

>3 headed dragon


In the first sentence.

"A splash weapon is a ranged weapon that breaks on impact, splashing or scattering its contents over its target and nearby creatures or objects. "

>Breaks on impact

>Midair impact

But you don't deny the first?

Succbed and LG Paladin are confirmed picks?

I dunno about the LG Paladin. It's either Guarenteed or Guarenteed Out, it honestly depends on how funny Maximum Sleep finds the idea of Maximum Moralfag tagging along with such nice people as the Universal Waterbed, AWAKEN MY MASTERS, Undead, and A God I Am.

>I don't recall rape coming up at all in any modules explicitly.

Eh, one of the Characters in Skull and Shackles has rape in her backstory. The Hook-Handed female Wizard what works for Harrigan, I don't remember her name. But the PCs are unlikely to ever remember that.
I think there was a second enemy caster with rape in their backstory in Shackles, but I'm less certain about that one. The one with a tattoo map on her back.

And finally, in Jade you encounter a room where there are Ulfen 'having their way with a thrall'.
Thralls are slaves and are expected to help the PCs during the combat, so it's probably a safe bet to say it was rape.

I remember. Tatoo-magus girl. She got her teeth ripped out by a pirate to "make herself more useful" when she was a slave girl.

She then charmed some sahugin and gets fucked by them on the regular.

The trick is that "having their way" can technically mean any number of things, from rape to beating to forced tickling to just bullying.

Compare that to Thistletop in RotRL, where the bugbear is explicitly described as surrounded by a goblin harem he was just fucking and even has a "heavy club" as a weapon.

A flimsy flavor limitation that can be overcome by explaining how your alchemist's bombs (or whatnot) can, at the moment of being prepared, be rigged as air burst explosives.

Fireballs seem perfectly capable of targeting a midair grid intersection.


>She got her teeth ripped out by a pirate to "make herself more useful" when she was a slave girl.
Wow rude

>implying he wouldn't smite evil
>with his dick

I have ever seen anyone use "have their way with" used in a context that didn't involve sex or rape.

Look here
He's a Human Paladin. Against someone like Konja, any Succubus, or either of the Ghosts, he'd get his shit pushed in.


I'm trying to build an infiltrator that could possibly walk into a room and try to take out as many foes as possible in a first surprise round.

DM ruling: finesse weapons can just be used with DEX, no feat required.

I realize this has a very limited Arcane Pool

Half Elf, 25 point buy

STR: 10 DEX: 14 CON: 12 INT: 19 WIS: 10 CHA: 14

Magical Knack, Extremely Fashionable (Bluff), Carefully Hidden, Umbral Unmasking

1. Alchemist 1, Vivisectionist (Mindchemist?)
Mutagen, Brew Potion, Sneak Attack 1d6, Alchemy, Skill Focus: Bluff (possibly disguise for Rakshasa Eldritch Heritage)

2. Wizard 1, Exploiter Wizard, Elf favored class bonus Admixture, Arcane Pool of 3/4
Potent Magic

3. Wizard 2, 1 use of Versatile Evocation, Arcane Pool of 4/5
Accomplished Sneak Attacker (2d6)

4. Wizard 3, Arcane Pool of 4/6
INT: 20

5. Wizard 4 (2 uses of Versatile Evocation, Arcane Pool of 5/7)
Spell Specialization (Fiery Shuriken: 1 more possible sneak attack per round)

6. Wizard 5, Arcane Pool of 5/8
Rime Spell, Familiar

7. Sleepless Detective 1
Additional Traits: Student of Philosophy, Reactionary (?)
Sneak Attack (3d6), Canny Sleuth, Forensic Thaumaturgy

8. Arcane Trickster 1-10

Future Feats:
School Understanding (Admixture)
Spell Perfection
Quicken Spell
Dimensional Slide?
Heighten Spell?
Improved Spell Spezialization?
Bloodline Development?
Eldritch Heritage?
Empower Spell (DM has stated that if enemies can save for half the sneak attack damage from Surprise Spells, then empower spell can increase the sneak attack damage as well)


Would it be better just straight up as Evocation School Wizard (Admixture)?

>Ecaterina is the tallest female
>Helvetica is the shortest female

Fireball: "You point your finger and determine the range (distance and height) at which the fireball is to burst. A glowing, pea-sized bead streaks from the pointing digit and, unless it impacts upon a material body or solid barrier prior to attaining the prescribed range, blossoms into the fireball at that point. An early impact results in an early detonation. "

So if fireball hits something first, then yeah it goes boom. Alchemist fire isn't magical. If you're rigging it to explode first, and can explain to the DM exactly how, then I don't see why not.

Shackles is full of rape or rape victims, the cabin girl Harrigan uses in Book 1 is a 13 year old girl, there's the tattoo chick that was raped as a teen and became the exotic cocksleeve of Deep Ones, and then you have that one girl in the tavern scene of... I think Book 3 that explicitly panics when she sees someone because it triggers her memories as a sex slave as a teenager.

Lots of underage rape going on in that AP.

Let me play my cello, mellow jell-o.

Anything under 8ft tall is still medium, yes.


>...unless you PM the bastard

The only classes I've found that grant it before 20 are the Daivrat and Demoniac prestige classes, both at 17.

No, and if he did his image would be ruined.

Mine might be about to, if the local hamlet doesn't have any night tea

Is the outsider type that powerful?

>he doesn't use condoms
Enjoy your burning piss.

Best case scenario, I've still got a dose of bachelor snuff. Condoms are above my pay grade and hard to find in the right size.

>Implying Hamlets are festering puddles of disease

You're thinking of cities, ye olde Hamlet might have a village bicycle, but the seat's only going to be sticky, not spicy.

Condoms are for martialfags without disease immunity or ability to cast remove disease.

>Condoms are above my pay grade and hard to find in the right size.

>hard to find in the right size.

Sure buddy, and I'm the King of Kyonin.

Please respond.

Hey now, let's be fair, not just any town is going to have condoms sized for a pixie.

You forgot the gnoll, user

>Not only fucking women you've deflowered yourself.

But I'm playing a huma-oh.


I mean, if you want to be an outsider, you could just play as an Aasimar/Tiefling/etc. and get the type at level 1. For classes, the whole "ascend to a higher state of being" seems to be reserved for capstones, which is kind of understandable.

Are there even actual condoms? Or do people just default to good old-fashioned sheep intestines?

I'm copy-pasting someone else's work from last thread

>Are there even actual condoms?

Condoms don't exist, it's either pull-out or have some contraceptives ready.

The latter might be available, but the former would probably be some kind of Alkenstar-/gnomish-specific luxury item.