ERP advice

Or are they into her?

>52817171
>except for the sex part, which is like 2/10 for me
What's the problem exactly? Different fetishes? Different libido? If so ERP probably won't help you much.

>>except for the sex part, which is like 2/10 for me
>>tried a bunch of different things in order to change this
>>after all attempts failed, I'm outta ideas
Maybe elaborate? Do you not have ideas, have you tried roleplay, have you had open talks about what you do and don't like?

Thanks m8. Been reading some more erotic "literature" recently because I quit porn. Most of the stuff written by men sucks anyway.
Maybe I should ask her if she has written anything.
>she maybe into horsecock futa dranei.
Definitely not, she makes fun of those characters whenever she runs into them.
>have you tried roleplay, have you had open talks about what you do and don't like?
All of that. Communication and mutual understanding works great. Basically, vaginal penetration doesn't really work and with that comes a tendency to get frustrated or distracted quickly and a low libido in general on her part. The act itself doesn't really matter to me as long as we have some form of sex frequently. But right now that's somewhere around two or three times a month, and that fucking sucks.

Hence the online ERP idea. I know she's much more open and passionate about that than almost everything else in her life, so it might just be the channel that works best for us.

>Basically, vaginal penetration doesn't really work
How many toys have you tried?
>two or three times a month
Is she on/not on birth control? It could indicate a hormonal issue. Has she always been this way? Also when you started dating?

>Basically, vaginal penetration doesn't really work

Step up your oral game, mate.

>>Basically, vaginal penetration doesn't really work
>How many toys have you tried?
And remember that sex is more than penis in vagina, then out, then in, repeat until penis shoots goo.
How long do you spend on foreplay, how do you set the mood, do you make sure she's relaxed?

>vaginal penetration doesn't really work
I'm not sure if you mean by this that the physical penetration doesn't work or if she's not getting off of it.
If it's the first: More foreplay or lube. But I think it's more likely the latter in which case: Use more toys / other stimuli, especially if you enjoy giving oral, most women can't come from penetrative sex alone and there's nothing wrong with you, her, your dick or her vagina just because of that. Hopefully she knows what she enjoys when she's playing with herself, the type of porn she watches and so on.

Two so far. She is on the pill and has been for as long as I know her. It's primarily not for birth control, but for other health issues.
I would if she'd let me.
Basically, sex is all "foreplay" at this point, because I gave up trying the penetration part a while ago. It got too frustrating for us both. It is absolutely impossible to sex the mood or get her to relax because of psychological issues on her part. They have turned her into an overly rational thought-driven person. Except on her main hobbies, one of which is online roleplaying.

Thanks for all your interest in the subject matter. Please keep in mind, I'm not looking for advice on my relationship in general. I'm looking for advice how to do ERP and how to do it well. Everything else would be offtopic for this board.

Also: If she's into online ERP have you tried roleplaying in the bedroom? Since you're on Veeky Forums I'm assuming you've got some creativity in you and I'm sure both you and your GF have some fetishes / scenarios / characters you'd like to try out in bed.
I tell you it can be a lot of fun.

It's the first and I already know everything you told me. That's why I said I already tried everything.
She initiated this a few months ago and it was great fun, but she's been shooting down all my attempts at bringing it up again in the recent past.

You know, as much as I hate how Veeky Forums fucked people like me over, I'm going to toss you a bone.

ERP writing relies on two very important things.

One: Being able to describe sensation. Note I did not say looks, description, appearance, action or anything else, but specifically SENSATION. Focus on the senses. How does the air smell? Does she have perfume on? Does she smell slightly musky from your previous exercise or from combat? How does her skin taste? How does it feel to run a finger over her lipstick (does it feel waxy and cool like it's freshly applied, or slippery and warm form her body heat)? How does her breathing sound? Can you feel her heartbeat through her chest if you lay your head upon her breast? Does she taste of salt, or clean water after she's bathed? Does she feel hot to the touch if you're cold? Does her clothing feel like rough linen, smooth silk, or stiff velvet? Can you hear the chime of her chasmal as your rings contact it? The rustle of her moving in the dark as she joins you in your bedding?

2) ERP writing demands either succinct, to the point description, or patience from your partner. You cannot expect to write a paragraph of lovely things quickly. Only the best of the best can do that without adding a ton of typos, and even they take several minutes to complete paragraphs. But if you want to keep her attention....make each paragraph leading; force her to respond by not putting in anything she does or did except those things she told you in her last paragraph. Don't write her reaction - make her want to react to what you write. You don't squeeze her breast to make it feel good, you explore her breast and feel her heart beneath it and how warm and soft it is. Make her write how it makes her nipple hard, how she feels your strength.

Final word of advice: every few people can write great ERP, and a lot too many can do good ERP. Lots can do mediocre ERP. Take it as she presents it, and accept that.

Ingrates.

>Thanks for all your interest in the subject matter. Please keep in mind, I'm not looking for advice on my relationship in general. I'm looking for advice how to do ERP and how to do it well. Everything else would be offtopic for this board.

Okay, the important thing to keep in mind is to not do "IKEA sex". Basically, things like positions of your limbs are absolutely unimportant. Writing actions is fine, writing "grabs her right wrist with his left hand while holding her waist with her right hand, pulling her up into a 45°angle" stop and ask yourself What and Why your guy is doing it, instead of the How.

Yes, great, thank you. This is the kind of advice I am looking for. I will appreciate and translate into action what you wrote.
>You know, as much as I hate how Veeky Forums fucked people like me over, I'm going to toss you a bone.
What has this community done to you, user?
Yes, this is also an important thought. I know men are much more focused on vision and action, while women are more into feeling, atmopshere and sensation. Those are the things I intend to focus on. You have told me what I should not do. Can you also tell me what I should do?

You want ERP advice? The beat is don't be boring. This shit is a fantasy. More specifically her fantasy. Find out what she's into and work on your prose and on getting into character. It may sound shitty but read some harlequin romance novels and other literotica. Sweep that bitch off her digital feet with your sweet words and your practiced persona. It might seem awkward at first, but don't get discouraged. Soon enough you'll be jacking it and she'll be jilling it. I'd say to start wherever is comfortable for both of you, then move your gaming stations Closer together if possible before finally moving on to mutual masturbation when you feel more confident and comfortable with the situation. If that's as far as you can go, then at least you're making positive strides in your relationship. It might also help her ease into penetrative sex, especially if you role play in the bedroom, too.

There you go. I went to school for psych and all I do with my degree is help Veeky Forums strangers have sex over WoW. Tuition well-spent, I guess.

Not going there.

>Can you also tell me what I should do?

Figure out who takes the lead. It should be definitely her fantasy (as says) but you need to figure out if she wants you to be along for the ride, wants to pass control back and forth, or wants you to explore her fantasy for her... In my experience, this last one is the hardest, but the most rewarding and the most requested.

Thinking about it, this is basically the same shit as in the bedroom, except you actually have to put it into writing.

>That's why I said I already tried everything.
Ah alright, sorry if I came of as condescending.

I can share some of my own ERP experiences maybe that can help you a bit but they all related to ERP over voice rather than text based.
I'm in a long distance relationship with my GF and while we can occasionally visit each other most of our interaction has been over IMs and will be for about half a year longer.

We tend to do ERP (and RP) over Skype, it all started when we were talking about sex and fetishes in a casual manner. We both got horny and it just evolved from there.

Like with physical interaction I think its important to watch your partner and see how they react, if you're not exactly into the things she's into feel free to do 'research' by watching porn that she's into or see if she can recommend you something she enjoy which you can then 'play back' to her.

You'll also want to see how interactive she likes things. describes it quite well for how it works if there's back and forth and he probably has much more experience on that topic but I know that segments where something is forced upon your character (if that's what she's into) can also be quite fun.

So, what is she into exactly? Depending on taht there might be some more advice that can be given.

>In my experience, this last one is the hardest, but the most rewarding and the most requested.

And by "requested" I mean subtle (sometimes not so subtle) cues, not actually saying it out loud.

>wants you to explore her fantasy for her... In my experience, this last one is the hardest, but the most rewarding and the most requested.
Yeah, I can agree to that.

>and hopefully save our relationship.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Good post, I applaude and appreciate you spurring me on.
Okay.
I see. Would it make more sense to discuss this with her in person, or to actually play it out in the game? Both ideas seen good to me for different reasons.
Thanks. It seems like your experiences could be very valuable to me, since I'm in a similar situation: The ERP is directed at someone I know and care for in real life. I already know she's more of a submissive type, we tried some light bondage two or three times and I asked her about the preferences of the character she wants to play. She said the character would be more into "nice guys", but we will see about that.
The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>I know that segments where something is forced upon your character (if that's what she's into) can also be quite fun.

To address this, even this situation can be turned into back and forth play. A lot of people on Veeky Forums think that slave-play/bondage RP is impossible, because you can't 'do' anything.

What you CAN do is describe doing something restrictive
>wrapping my fingers around your collar I bring your face close to mine, looking into your eyes while you are helpless
And the response then becomes how her/your responses to that are, rather than your actions.
>my breathing quickens as my heart pounds, and I shift uneasily in place, unable to relieve myself of the increasing need

It's a matter of understanding that sensation>action, and description of action>description of situation.

>She said the character would be more into "nice guys", but we will see about that.

Nice guys can be dominant, playing a more experienced guy guiding a less experienced gal is a pretty common example (especially if it is being guided into fetish stuff). In my experience, chicks also dig the bad boy who is actually a nice guy.

>submissive
>light bondage
In that case I'd talk to her about it first. Openly discuss boundaries, discuss who'll take the lead (it should probably be you i f she's submissive and enjoyed light bondage) and maybe even propose a scenario (you don't need to talk about everything but it should help her if she knows what to expect). It also helps to do an after action report of sorts, discuss what worked and what didn't and so on.

Assuming you go into a situation where at least some level of control is taken away from her character you should also force more 'things' onto her in writing. describes a back and forth but if one character is submissive feel free to force some emotion or actions onto her character. Don't completly overdo it and give her some room to react has some more insight on that.

Again most of my experience comes from voice where it's easier to adapt on the fly. If you're writing an entire paragraph its harder to just take something back and change it to suit the mood.

Also as I've said before: Ask her to send you porn / hentai / stories / whatever she likes and use that for reference.

Sound advice, thank you.
That's probably what this whole thing will boil down to. I've always been the one to set things in motion, and I'm the most comfortable that way. I don't expect her to completely turn tables in text form, but even that would be perfectly fine with me.
I've always tried the open discussion approach for as long as this relationship has lasted, and I will continue to do so. But I believe the problem on her part is rationalizing too much and acting upon feelings to little. Of course there always has to be room for her and her character to react. I never could quite find out what she's into by just talking about it. Trying it out has worked better most of the time.
>Also as I've said before: Ask her to send you porn / hentai / stories / whatever she likes and use that for reference.
AFAIK she has never watched a single porn video in her lif, but I will ask her about the other stuff, as well as previous ERP experiences.

>never watched a single porn video
Well godspeed OP. I hope it works out for you and your GF in the end.

And while you don't have a right to sex in a relationship it is certainly a legitimate need. And if that need is not met and you are unhappy because of it it is okay to be unhappy with the relationship. If you've tried and tried and tried again to make it work and it just won't work and you're unhappy about it, you don't have to be miserable in a relationship with a dead bedroom. Maybe you and your GF are not meant to be.

Thank you. That is exactly the thought process I've been going through in the past weeks, at least until she brought the idea up to me. I know I cannot and do not want to force her to fulfill my desires, but if this plan does not work out, I have to end the relationship. That is certainly not an easy decision, but I would be neglecting my own needs and wants in a criminal manner if I didn't.