Rumours and whispers

ITT: Rumours you might hear around town.

I'll start.
>Rumour has it the miller's daughter isn't really his.
>A friend of a friend's friend told me the old house at the end of the road is used by cultists at night.
>Last full moon someone broke into the tanner's workshop but was mauled by a vicious beast, strange because the tanner has no dog and has been so sick all week that he has been unable to see anyone.
>Old Tommy hasn't been right in the head ever since he returned from the war to stop the lich, sometimes he talks to people who aren't there.
>Some say that the bartender at Boar's Head can hook you up with anything you need.
>It is common knowledge that the guy known as OP prefers the company of men.

>The statue at the town square is alive - I saw its sword there one night, covered in fresh BLOOD!

>I saw Goody Osburn with the Devil!

>A party of adventurers caused trouble the other day after one of them claimed to be a deity in the middle of the local church

>The current mayor claims that the previous mayor spied on him using a seer, now everyone is paranoid about being spied on.

Have you heard it? The old lady salvian says, there where ghosts in her mansion! I would guess more its on this strange foreign woman, her son married. Her Child is such a brat!

>No one has been out hunting for weeks but the butcher still has fresh meat.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen his wife recently? She said she needed to talk to me but I didn't have the time. For that matter I haven't seen his kids for a while.

Why hasn't anyone been out hunting?

Haven't you heard? A band of orcs has set up camp. No I haven't seen them myself but my mate's mate had a narrow escape last week.

>A group of bards gives secret performances out in the woods at night, they are so good people never leave

>the butcher is a witch
>the sheriff is a witch
>that bitch who stole two coppers from me is a witch
>your friend is a witch

Wait, the sheriff isn't a witch... you're a phony!

Thanks for my next character idea
>a bard who wants to be a rumour in every town in every state in every kingdom.

A which made this post.

>Everyone thinks everyone else is a witch or cultist

Only a witch would accuse someone of that!

>Not!Jews are behind every misfortune that befalls the town

>A neighbouring fief is planning an invasion

>The whorehouse as been housing statues lately.

Can they do the same thing to my dick so I can be rock hard?

>there's a cave full of rats. Every night a piper goes down and makes them dance with his music!
>I heard Bodrick's wife got turned into a donkey.
>don't go into the east woods, people say the trees try to talk to you
>if you don't respond to me your mother will perish in a fortnight

You won't feel anything though.

Nice try.

>Everything is just the illusion of a local beloved celebrity, an ageing wizard with Alzheimer's
>Someone has hired assassins to kill the wizard

I heard Henrick's dog protects you from curses. The moment he bought it the previous owner dropped dead on the spot, swear on me mum

>It's said that the baron plots against his favorite advisor

>Clerics are secretly demon worshippers

>Word around town is that the advisor conspires with the Hebrews.

>There's a rumour the Hebrews look like people with remarkably plastic faces.

>Druids are bribing hedgehogs into stealing the towns milk.

>It is rumoured all rumours are coloured green.

I blame the Hebrew witches.

>It's rumoured that o.p sucks flaccid cock.
I couldn't resist

>The Dwarf fighter in my party is gay

Wait, if the Baron is plotting against the adviser, then the adviser clearly isn't his favourite.
Unless he's plotting to do something nice, that is.

>Roger A Muirebe might be the spymaster... Or a madman.

>The Duke's son is having an affair with the local blacksmith's daughter

>The world ends on Thursday
>If it doesn't then it is the Thursday after
>This rumour has somehow persisted for a decade

>It is rumoured rumours also feature pictures.

>All dogs are good boys

Even the girls?

Especially the girls.

>It is said one of the cobblestone tiles in the town square lies above a key that unlocks a chest in the abandoned house at the end of the lane.

underrated

>The baron plots a surprise birthday party for his favorite advisor

>I heard between the grapevines that the King's daughter is actually a man wearing a girdle of gender change

The king's men were doing a recruitment drive the other day...not that weird, I s'pose, but I dunno, smith's got a big order going for the lord up the hill...I'm not sayin' war, but it's a maybe...

>your ex is a witch

Who has that image of the Lord or something warning you of a plot that (his own name) is going to kill (his own name)

Underrated post.

>The blacksmith has no daughter, it is his son in drag

>A group of local nationalists are plotting to kill a visiting archduke who is heir to the throne of the empire

>A group of cultists worship an ancient frog god manifested in consecutive figures

Wait a second...

...

That's just a rumor. No way it's gonna happen.

>They say the tower of the old monastery was dug up again. This time it was on Pop Jorbug's lot.

>You remember those adventurers who came through last week? Well I've heard from Mary that she saw Cynthia with one of them having a "roll in the hay".
>W-what no I wasn't near the creek last week........

>I hear Mary's got the hots for Cynthia's fiancee, and is badmouthing her to steal her man!

>Well I heard that that was a rumor started by Jacqueline, since she's jealous of Mary's new dress!

>Rumor has it that all the rumors are false.

>Rumor has it that rumor has it.

You know them youngish folk that moved in over at old Jackhums place? They say they are husband and wife but if you ask me there's a certain "familiarity" about them if you get my meaning. Mum's the word, mind. spreading rumors won't do anyone any good.

HAHAHAHA

>Rumor has it that a devil's been going around town propositioning young women.

>A group of different, caniballistic cultists is at a proxy war with them

When you use the "!" symbol to mean "not", you don't have to wrote 'not' again before it--that's concentrated redundancy.

Yeah, but it's the traditional format for that sort of thing.

>Heard taxes are up this season, again. Soon us regular working folk won't afford to eat the wheat we farm.
>'Becca down the road saw a bunch of King's Men tromping around in the forest. Wonder who they're chasing now?
>I heard from the Blake kid that Peterson's scarecrows got stolen again. No tracks or even a single disturbed wheat this time either. Must be bloody witchcraft involved i tell you.

...

>the name
>the rumor

I laughed. Underrated post my verde enriched friend

>I must leave

Gets me every time

Clever

Previous mayor was half-orc?

Stop stealing my job, you witch!

>rumour has it that for all the minmaxing you nerds do, you couldn't run a fun RPG focusing on the story to save your life

>I heard is salty because his wife had a half-orc baby

>I've heard that sheriff is really a horrible shape-shifting monster in disguise!

I'm about to run a West Marches style campaign, and I plan on giving every character a different rumor that they heard on the way up to the frontier. It's hard to come up with those on the fly for a given character, so I'm trying to write some basic ones for each class & maybe some for the races.

And hey, even if it does happen, it will just result in some localized crack downs right? Nothing to really with about

Yeah, he's also blinking Snow White

They say that on the night of the full moon, if you place your ear against the kernstone atop Porton Hill, you can hear the music of the faerie courts

Indeed! The first to do so really.

But I tell you there's talk the Mayor's in with the folks from the frozen lands. Hear they are looking to see if the mayor can leverage his influence with the kingdom to lift the trade bans to their country.

>A neighboring whorehouse is planning an invasion

>The mayor wants to empty out all the banks and fill our streets with banks! And run a bank-making operation out of his banks!

>I've heard the lord of Shez B'hezad is coming here to court the mayor's daughter. Imagine! A real lord coming all this way! To our tiny little town!

>Well I've heard she's already been meeting with a handsome young adventurer every night... Don't think that lord will take that kindly.

>Well *I've* heard that the lord o' Shez B'hezad is planning on taking over this whole countyship!

I've heard the countess is planning to ride through the village naked while no one is peeping.

>Farmer Giles has been sacrificing his neighbor's goats to make sure his harvest is better than everyone elses

>I actually saw the cultists! they were wearing red robes and using a weird sign that looked like the one used for saturn crossing an eye! the head cultist looked like that silk merchant from the neighboring town, tall, with broad shoulders and nervous hands. He was using the skull of a horned creature as headgear.
>They called a ghost from the grave and sacrificed it with a weird knife over the table, nobody could see me as I crept from under the floor boards, but I swear SOMETHING else was watching me. I'm leaving town before sunset, and if I were you, I wouldn't stay here after darkness falls.

>The duke's son's supposed affair with the blacksmith's daughter widely known/believed
>In fact, he's sodomising with the blacksmith, and the jealous daughter could jeopardise the whole dukedom with this secret

I ship it.

>You didn't hear it from me, but... the water, in the fountain at the town square... it comes alive at the full moon, rises at night and 'walks' to the forests, returns before dawn.
>The young page, Edmund, tried to confront it, the poor lad... he'll be buried tomorrow.

>D'ya 'member that 'ex-plo-shun', what passed las' Fridee? 'Tis said it were some great burning stone that fell from th' sky, landed somewhere out way of Sudwick... Th' King's men now guard th' roads, and I've nae seen folk from Sudwick since then.

>A nobleman was assassinated and a large group of people reject the official story and is trying to prove the existence of a second bowman

>I heard the mage who lives on the other side of town is actually a dark mage, and he used the blood of his missing brother in order to commune with dark spirits.
>Supposedly the lawkeeper has a thing for the governor's wife. Supposedly the feeling is mutual.
>Rumor has it, the ferryman at Dead River loves garlic.

>I heard the local moonshiner is capable of casting powerful curses on people who cross him.
>townsguard who visited him lost their teeth and had hemorrhoids soon after

Was she wearing lace?

>My sister's mother's hairdresser's grocer's son's close friend's cousin's husband's twice removed uncle's estranged half-brother's grandfather's nephew's bodyguard's employer's tanner's chef's squire's sister's fiancee's tailor's hireling's daughter's father's aunt's brother-in-law's lord's consort's bastard child's secretary that there's a rumor floating about town that concerns...uh...I forgot exactly what about, but it was something along the lines of...

Not a rumour per say, but...

>Henderson has a bad habit of donating his garden gnomes, then forgetting he did it.

Last month he gifted me one wearing a tutu, next day he bust my door down and pointed a combat shotgun at me and asking where I be keeping his "wee men" in that thick Scottish accent of his.

>Rumor says magicians dump magic brews in the water, turning animals gay and men into women

Underrated.

Get out.