You are a shepherd

>You are a shepherd.
>A small dragon appears and asks if he can two-three sheeps.

Your answer?

>Will you burn down my neighbour's house in return?

I ask him what two-threeing sheep is. It's possible I might be into it.

I ask the dragon if he accidentally a verb.

Sure, that will be *quick calculations* about 75 gold per sheep.

>give him three, keep a fourth on hand if he seems hungry still
>talk to dragon about how shepherding is going
>tell him if he can make sure the bandits and coyotes and whatever else keep the fuck off your land, you'll be cool with giving him a regular supply of your sheep based on your output
>ask him if he'd be cool helping the other villagers out so I can afford to get them to pitch in other donations

I give you a one-three, a double swizzle and a boob-the-snoot in return for a fazdongle and the chimmy chim chim. Take it or leave it

>if the dragon is male
demand dragon's daughter
>if the dragon is female
demand sex


Dammit dragon! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no tree-sheepy!"

It said, "how about just two-sheepy?"

I said, "Oh, now it's only two-sheepy!! What?! Is there a sale on Dragon munchies or something?!"

Fucking sheep, they keep stealing honest farmers' jobs! Fuck the nobles and their greed.

This sounds like a great idea for a small kingdom's history. With no desire for conquest but still a leading military power due to dragons, they've become fantasy Switzerland. Yes, the dragons are running the banks and yes, they thoroughly enjoy it. They are preparing the world to turn from coins to banknotes, so they can sit on all the gold without needing a portion of it in circulation.

I don't know. One half-dragon sheep would be bad enough, I really don't want to deal with two or three half-dragon sheeps.

"Is this a bartering thing or a demand thing? Because I'll happily give you sheep for wood, but if this is a demand thing then I'm obligated to remind you that wandering adventurers tend to frequent the next town over...

The nation's heraldry would all start featuring the local dragon.


Calm down, old man!

>A small, gluttonous dragon
I adopt!

I defend me wifes and the honor of wales.

You know, as a side note, I always thought that the dragons dragon-riders ride are basically adolescent males. Like, the beer-and-kegger stage most of us go through in college.

> "Dude, let me ride you, it's be totally sweet."

Then they crash through the wall into the castle, with fire everywhere, and they're going:


"Two-three sheeps? You wanna trade your two sheep for my three sheep? Uh..."

Fuck no, if I agree he'll just keep coming back.

>be cool
Ugh, such a NARPer remark to make.

Next he'll ask for a glass of milk.

Small for a dragon or just plain small?

It's big enough to eat two or three sheep, so small for a dragon the obvious answer.

What the fuck is a NARPer

NARP = Never Actually Roleplayed

Are we sue it want to eat the sheep? Maybe it wants to start up its own flock.

Underrated post

A forced meme that somebody is pushing on Veeky Forums lately.

It hasn't exactly caught on. You can tell, because was at such a loss to come up with an actual way to include the term in the conversation that they had to go with the most generic, inane sort of post that could be slotted into literally any thread just to make do.

[Greentext a thing], "Ugh, such a NARPer remark to make." Bam. Works in any thread, for any post.

I've got plenty, but we'll need to establish some details.

What do you want the sheep for, and how much are you willing to pay? Also, would you care to talk about it over a bowl of stew?

>be newZealander
>glint in eye
>martial stance



Aint no dragon getting tree-fitty from me!

>Fucking sheep
Only in Scotland. Elsewhere, we just call them sheep.

That's a mighty hard bargain your driving there...

i want to commit a crime...

Dragons are for holding hands

Fuck off, I'm not going to let you any of my sheep.

>The nation's heraldry would all start featuring the local dragon.
and Sheep

also anyone got that picture of that really small dragon cuddling with a herd of sheep?

Ask it to pay the going price for 2-3 sheep.
Negotiate for a good deal.

It asked so presumably its a civilized dragon.


Considering his INT score seems to be unusually low for a dragon I offer to teach him proper sentence building skills instead.

>new zealander detected

>old man
That is clearly a young Australian Aboriginal