Why, and how?

>Our regular game on sat
>same 3 players for over 10 years
>we're all friends, our wives are semi-friendly with each other, our kids get along
>We've looked for that 4th guy for a while, but not found a good fit
>player 1 brings a new guy, older, seems normal, friendly
>players agree that it's not right to insert the new guy into our current game
>we'll just start a new game
>player 1 does something never before done by any of us.........he has a homebrew class he wants to play
>I look at it. It's OP'd and insane
>it's a 'mage slayer/hunter', with insane bonuses and perks
>I tell player no, and everyone starts getting ready to make up new charcs
>player 2 asks if he can read the homemade class
>begins reading it, and gets MAD, I mean pissed
>His voice as he reads it out loud, keeps getting louder and louder...as his ANGER builds
>This makes player 1 want to DEFEND this indefensible class even more
>Player 3 takes the sheet, and laughs
>player 3 begins to circle a couple misspellings
>Player 1 is now very defensive, and very fucking pissed
>player 2 is pissed
We seldom argue, but when we do, it can get sorta nasty......this was the worst tho.

cont.......

I'm assuming the new guy NOPE'd out hard at the escalating fight?

This is why I always take my group out for beers with new players; they get to see us in a casual environment and we get to see what they're like inebriated

cont..

>the insults turn personal
>Player 1 says "Well, maybe I'd spend more time on my spelling and class balance on my homemade class, if I had an ugly wife like player 1, or a wife that's gained 40 lbs in the last 2 years like player 2."
>Player 2 says "Your wife has held up well, but your sister is still a total whore who's had 4 husbands and worked as an escort for a while, and probably is still on drugs."
>Player 3 accuses both of them of having shit-tier jobs and vehicles
>the yelling and the "FUCK YOU DICK!!'s ", is getting crazy
>My wife comes out and brings us sandwiches
>Everyone goes silent, like the teacher had just walked back into the classroom or something
>She says "You all having a debate? you're being very loud, and vulgar."
>We promise to keep it down
>We eat in silence, but the triggered player 1 can't let it go now
>"You know, there are rules for balancing a class, we could do a couple small adjustments........"
>Wanting this to end, i say "NO!. I don't care if Gary Gygax walks in, and defends this fucking class bro, the answer is NO"
>The NEW GUY (who's been silent till now), pops in........."Oh, did you all know gary? I loved that guy, knew him well"
>stunnedsilence.jpg
>What, tell us more!
>He tells about going to bars, and hanging out with Gary....he's honest, and sincere, we have no reason to doubt him.
>we continue eating......with a few questions tossed out about gary.
>"Did you know he made the game? did you two ever play?"
>No, he'd never played, and didn't know gary even knew the game...........
>We pull up a pic from google...you mean this gary g? there can't be two of them can there?
>New guy says "Oh, hell no, that's not the gary I knew"
>for some reason, this struck us as funny, and we laughed till we couldn't breath.
>Finished the food, and began to make up charc's and play
>Simple game, fun times, lots of laughter

cont...

Man, I haven't seen that meme in a long time.

Please continue, it sounds like either something that's been building for a long time, or something that would've happened a while ago but no one had bothered trying homebrew classes or something.

cont.

>Everyone agrees that the new guy is a great fit, and should be welcomed into our elite club
>New guy agrees to show up again, and said he had a great time, and it was amusing
>Go inside, and my wife says the neighbors had called her to see if all was "OK", since they heard "violent yelling and threats"
>I promise the wife we'll try to behave and be quieter from now on
>Why are we such freaks?
>Why do I love my group so fucking much?

Let the hate begin.....

I'm honestly wondering what will happen

Our wives don't really allow us to go out and drink. We can't be trusted unsupervised when we're together.
Missing a good time at the bars sucks, but it beats the fuck out of divorce

He'll be back. He said he would. And, everything had calmed down after lunch. I think (hope), he blew off our autism.

>Please continue, it sounds like either something that's been building for a long time, or something that would've happened a while ago but no one had bothered trying homebrew classes or something

We've never played a homebrew class. Ever. It's never even been discussed at the table. I don't fully understand WHY player 1 wanted it, or why it triggered player 2 so fucking bad.

I'm really sorry to hear that bro. I know a lot will call you cuck and the like but damn it's not worth cutting up a family over something trivial. Plus, nothing you can't do with drinks at home.

>Our wives don't really allow us to go out and drink
What the fucking fuck?

How emasculated and unhappy can a man get?
Seriously, my wife would never even think of saying some bullshit like that. And I wouldn't even think of saying the same to her.
How the fuck do you live with yourselves and why the fuck would divorce be worse?

>damn it's not worth cutting up a family over something trivial
Exactly. It's something you work through. You don't just expect your husband to be a misrable sack of shit. If you don't have trust OR the ability to work towards fixing mistakes that weren't yours, how can you call yourself an adult?

It's mutual. I'm well aware that when I drink, i can't be out in public. I'd do stupid shit, and give no fucks.

This is for the best. I've got 0 will when I've had a couple drinks......and I've never learned to stop after a couple.

It sounds like it was something Player 1 had made himself but didn't want to quite admit to his mistakes with it, and it sounds like Player 2 was just made that it was such a bleh class. Maybe he's had problems with homebrew classes online or something.

Oh. You shoul've said you're an actual, genetically predispositioned alcoholic.

Whatever. I'm smart enough to know that I'm stupid when I drink.

And I'm hardly miserable because I don't go out alone. We've kinda quit our party days. Now we got kids bullshit to deal with, and other things. Party time, is low on the list.

I don't know that it's genetic. That's a topic that's been discussed in my home a lot tho.

This. My father, mother and both grandparents on my mother's side are all alcoholics. I haven't touched the stuff. I'm 29

Total homebrew class.
>+2 per level to saves vs any magic
>+2 per 3 levels attack bonus vs any caster/spell like/supernatural
>fighters bab
>unlimited armor/weapons
>increased movement +10 ft per level
>able to enchant own weapons and armor with more bonuses
>unlimited detect magic at will
>identify 5 times per day, no components
>auto identify any spell being cast, and gaining a +4 bonus against it
>+5 bonus to attack vs any thing that's ever cast at player

it was stupid op'd

And d12 hd....and immunity to all enchant/illusion

The modern standard for diagnosing alcoholism are just 'drink this much, you're it', but actual alcoholism has genetic markers that you can be checked for.

The result of having the genes tied to said markers is what you describe: you're drawn to alcohol like a fatty is drawn to cake and you do not give a fuck once you get it.
You can live a normal life, but only without alcohol.

That is actually interesting.

I can have 0 drinks....and I'm fine with it. Don't miss it at all. Hell, i seldom have more than a beer on a hot day, when I'm at home.

But if I ever have that first drink of something more than beer....i'll drink every fucking bit i can get my hands on till I pass out. And I'll get pissed if i can't get more.

Grog detected.

>genetically predispositioned alcoholic.
Please. The guy acts like a child, and has a mother instead of a wife. Are you surprised he loses the tiny little mind he has when he drinks?

Is it really right to give your woman that power over you?

>>My wife comes out and brings us sandwiches

>makes him and his friends food
>doesn't throw a fit when a group of idiots are making noise to the point that it offends the neighbors
>been playing (i assume) at their home for years
>marriage still going

Ya, op is clearly being ruled by a female and should grow a set of nuts.

wut?

Just because his woman doesn't let him drink

>It's mutual. I'm well aware that when I drink, i can't be out in public. I'd do stupid shit, and give no fucks

Sounds self aware more than 'controlled'.

>first line
Oh wow
>next line
MAKE IT STOP

Funny drinking stories thread?

What is the fuck is that webm?

fuck that kid is more eerie than the thing that grabs it

I think it's a chimpanzee.

>Be me, chimpanzee
>Wandering around doing chimp stuff
>Decide to snatch a child

wat?

It reminded me of this uncle I had.....

I, I ........I don't wanna talk about it.

They have eaten human babies before.
Sorry for derailing the thread.

Chimps eating human kids, shouldn't ever be considered a derail.

That's documented tho? I've never heard it before.

"At least six cases of chimpanzees snatching and eating human babies are documented"

That disturbs me somewhat. Well done user.

Human babies, or Aficans?

Well chimpanzees mostly live in central africa, where the human population is largely african black. The video I posted clearly featured some kind of hispanic child.

Tourists rarely bring babies to these regions, and the white population is so insanely petite that I doubt there are any incidents of white babies being eaten by a chimpanzee.

So you're saying we should put chimps on the Wall on our southern border?

I like the way you think user.