Stupid character deaths

Okay Veeky Forums what is the most stupid character death you have ever seen because I think my players have just about finished me.
So I am running a game and last session this happens:
>new character, fresh spawn after last got killed off.
>okay so I want to start atop this building looking down at the crossroads
Okay, you see the party
>great I will jump the street then parkour across the rooftops to met them
If you are sure - just roll a jump check for me
And a reflex save
You fall 60 feet and take 37 damage plus critical failure. Roll up a new character.

Rogue down. Oh but it gets better.

The players see a unit of skeletons a mile away down the street and half the 8 man party decides to charge.
Half a mile
When they know the skeletons have been displaying an unusual level of discipline.
The skeletons form up with archers on the flank of a heavy infantry core and still they charge. They actually make it too. And get counterchargeed by the heavy infantry.
Needless to say this goes poorly and they end up taking heavy damage so one bright spark decides to detonate some firebombs. Behind them.
This cuts off their retreat and so the lolrandumb barbarian decides to light his pack on fire and throw it into the undead unit to buy some time.
38 pints of lamp oil and a poor throwing roll later and the parties 4 melee tanks are dead. The other 4 watch and decide to gtfo.

And so that Veeky Forums is how over half the party killed themselves in one session.

Please tell me I am not the only GM this has happened too?

If the barbarian had rolled a natural 20 on throwing instead, someone in the party would've probably made an "ITT Awesome D&D Stories" thread with it in the OP.

Rolls shouldn't indicate a good story. Really terrible rolls don't make for stupid deaths, and natural 20s don't make for awesome shit.

I don't know.
Our fighter got into a duel with an enemy champion and managed to kill her with a nat 20 + superiority dice + bardic inspiration I think, while on 1HP.
The DM did a fantastic job narrating how he stood up from the last attack and managed to thrusts his rapier through her eye.

The thing is the rogue knew he was a long way up and knew he had a wide street to jump. He could have climbed back inside and walked down but he didn't.

The barbarian.... I am not even sure where to start. Leading a one mile charge in the fave of archers. Knowing that they had no retreat and where tightly packed in and that throwing anything a respectable distance would be tough but doing it anyway.
I will say this much though, he survived the attacks of opportunity including two crits.

Sadly now he wants to play a lawful good drow. A paladin lawful good exiled drow.

>Dwarf fighter looks through rotted foodstuff, encounters a yellow mold
>Pokes at it with a mace
>It quivers, releases a tiny cloud of sickly-looking and horribly-smelling spores
>Dwarf shrugs and hits at it with his mace in full force

Needless to say, he didn't make it.

> GMing Only War
> Party is a group of PDF guardsmen desperately holding off a Necron awakening until help arrives
> In a small city, attempting to commandeer a valkyrie off a Stormtrooper kill team sent in to kill them for plot reasons
> Manage to get the valkyrie, heavily damaged, after fighting through the kill team and arriving Necron forces in a bloody 3 way battle fighting tooth and nail
> Operator is left with the Psyker in the valk, the rest of the party has retreated to their safe house waiting (hopefully) for the valkyrie's return
> Op. doesn't know if he'll get the bird off the ground since he's taken critical damage and given the state of the valk and the Necron forces approaching convinces the Psyker to leave him to his potentially doomed fate
> Psyker says his farewells, they have a cool dramatic goodbye
> Psyker leaves and rolls navigate to find his way back to the safehouse and critically fails
> Roll for a chance of a Necron patrol and 1 warrior is patrolling the street
> Psyker rolls stealth, fails
> Roll initiative, Psyker tries to run and fails
> Doesn't get far enough and the warrior is given a chance to shoot
> The warrior with 1 shot, rolls max damage on the Psyker and instantly kills him, leaving his corpse unmourned and missing

To rub salt in the wound, the Operator actually made it out of there with the valk unscathed apart from the damage done earlier, such a shame too since the character was very promising.

I had one player get himself hanged for murder with a significant portion of the reason being other players interference. Despite my many attempts to stop the horrifying derail.

But we had one player who was just a magnet for stupid deaths. One character who provoked a good 5 AoOs in one movement, despite warnings, another that tried to feast on an incapacitated ally (Vampire) and was incinerated by the party Sorcerer for her troubles.

By far her dumbest, though, was during a fight with a Beholder. Some dimensional fuckery was afoot and in the center if the Beholder's prison was a 5 foot rift that the DM described as basically being space. Some kind of inky black limbo between worlds. It was only 5 foot, so easily traversible, but it definitely kept people on their toes. After a harrowing moment where her Monk got knocked clear over it and landed on the other side, she used a Monk ability to temporarily be considered flying. Instead of using it to fly back over, as we expected, she instead just launched herself into space, heading straight "down". She continued this even after an "Are you sure?". She also refused the DM offering to retcon it post-session or to work something out (like the rift wrapping in on itself or something).

Tell that to my player who in Savage Worlds rolled 10 on the D10 THREE times in a row and managed to blow up 4 soldiers with a single thrown explosive. The soldiers were ready to open fire on their spear-wielding naked asses.

They still talk about that awesome feat.

Didn't he have any faith points to burn?

>Come across a temple deep in the woods
>The door has a big dwarven face on it
>The face springs to life and says the dwarves enchanted the temple so that it could never be entered again without great sacrifice
>It says someone must place their head in its mouth and die for the door to open
>Paladin goes "okay guys I don't know if I like the sound of that"
>Wizard steps up
>"I've studied dwarves before. They're all about bravery. This is just a test to prove we're not cowards."
>Puts his head in the statue's mouth
>It bites down and crushes his skull, killing him instantly
>Door swings open
>"You may enter"

I don't know what he expected honestly

>Rogue dies right off
>4 guys die in battle
>4 more flee
>9 man party

This game sounds terrible and your group's stupidity is only half of it. I pity your DM

Well he should have known that dwarves don't lie either.

Not that user, but I just noticed something:
>defends story against user saying stories should not be based on rolls
>to defend position, user adds additional details based entirely on rolls that they clearly find impressive:
>I will say this much though, he survived the attacks of opportunity including two crits.
I just thought that was an amusing observation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not 100% against roll stories and did a job of explaining how they can fuel awesome narratives.

>Roll up a fighter
>End up with higher dex than expected
>turns out we have no rogues
>decide to strip off my armor and scout out a troglodyte cave
>over extend
>set off a net trap
>fail two rolls to escape
>getting wailed on by troglodytes and giant lizards
>finally escape and book it out of the cave
>run into a giant bat I had snuck past without realizing it was there
>Troglodytes catch up to me
>ripped apart with the party none the wiser

Another dwarf character I had nearly died when he drank a mysterious potion that turned out to be a water elemental.

Oh man....

I had 3 pc's (all mages), die by drowning while trying to wrestle a waterwheel from a mill onto the bank.

I had 3 clerics die by fire trying to burn a ghoul in a small 15x15 crypt.

I had 3 rogues die trying to lure an ogre out of a cave.

I had 3 pc's die by starvation after getting trapped in a pit (that they shouldn't have been in)

I had 3 rogues die trying to rob a small farm house, with a lv 0 npc guard with no attack bonus at all...

I had 3 pc's die by a single kobold, that simply dropped rocks on them as they climbed up a ladder (instead of backing up, or shooting the kobold)

I may have the world record for tpk's.

But why though?

Neither do trips

It does, but only if the system or GM fiat deems it so.

>Another dwarf character I had nearly died when he drank a mysterious potion that turned out to be a water elemental.

>Play Mage: The Ascension
>Not playing super seriously, basically making things up as I go along
>One party member literally cheeses the final boss of a session (transmutes him into a giant piece of cheddar)
>Decide that it's just too stupidly paradoxical to not immediately kill the player who did it
>Player agrees and asks for death by poetic irony
>Turn him into a giant cracker

>>Decide that it's just too stupidly paradoxical to not immediately kill the player who did it
1st, kill the "player" heh.
Always amused me.

2nd, what the actual fuck?

It was the best I could think of on the spot, believe it or not I hadn't planned for any cheese related fatalities.

I am the Fucking gm, and this is not even half of it.
The players had an entire section of militia and two ballista but they ignored them.
Last session they had a defensible position but they chose to abandon it and charge, hence why the rogue was entering play - his last character was cut down whilst they where surrounded.
A couple of sessions ago the paladin and barbarian decided to have a booze up in a dungeon and got wasted.
Another time the same two characters three themselves into a gelatinous cube that they could clearly see abs easily avoid.
I had one player commit mass murder and then try to get away with it and another blasphemed and openly admitted to worshipping evil in a temple devoted to a good goddess. And then wonder why she was nearly cut down (luckily she ran faster).
I cannot make this stuff up, they seem determined to act like idiots.

No, seriously, what the actual fuck?

>I decided that it's too stupid to not immediately kill the PC arbitrarily by GM fiat, without mechanically justifying it
This is how I read that.
Cheese or no, wtf?

Did you miss the part where he's playing MtA?

I have 2 ultra stupid stories, I'm not sure which is worse. One was as a player, the other as a DM.
>Playing 3.0, which was fairly new at the time
>Low level adventure, I think we were level 2 at the time.
>Traveling to dungeon, takes a few days.
>Have to camp.
>Half orc fighter is on watch.
>Barely succeeds a listen check, knows that SOMETHING is out there on the bushes, but not what.
>Says that he's going to gather up his spiked chain, and go and attack whatever it is.
>DM asks if he's SURE he wants to do that.
>Has enough of a clue to realize that was a hint.
>Thinks for a minute.
>You're right, if I go out like that, they'll hear me for sure
>takes off his armor, and THEN goes out into the bushes to get ambushed by goblins who then murder the rest of us in our sleep.


>Playing a homebrew system sandbox.
>PCs move into this old archmage's tower
>Have made a large number of enemies though, and at the moment, they're being attacked by a small army.
>Decide to pull out, use the teleporter they have just for this handy occasion, trap everything they can, move out what they can carry, and smash the rest
>They have this large power crystal, used for high level magical rituals.
>It's too heavy to lug far, and dangerous to use with the teleporter
>Let's use it to power the teleporter!
>You guys know that has like a 90% chance of causing a mishap, right?
>Oh, what's the worst that could happen?
>Teleporter blows up and kills them all, as well as wrecking most of the tower.

>impaled himself on a stalactite because a PC stole his weapon
Fucking Clethentit McCheeks

>Did you miss the part where he's playing MtA?
No, missed the part where everyone is familiar with Mage the Ascension enough for that make any kind of sense.

You don't know what paradox is in terms of Mage, that's why.

>party is sleeping
>bard/warlock and cleric have second watch
>both hear something
>both decide to investigate the noise leaving rest of party undefended
>come across herd of deer
>decide to sneak in and sit in the middle of the herd
>snuck into the middle but soon get caught
>start a stampede
>goes through our camp

luckily we all survive but we were all very angry with them


My mistake, should have made it clearer.
In Mage: The Ascension, to keep players from immediately breaking reality with their powers, there's a mechanic called paradox which causes bad shit to happen to players if they make magical changes that are blatantly impossible. One of the things it can do is cause flat damage to your character, I didn't mean that I decided as GM to kill him for doing something stupid, he just didn't survive the paradox backlash and we both chose to make the punishment fit the crime so to speak

Okay, that makes perfect sense then.
Thank you.

>party arrives in fucked up citystate
>they know something's up
>no orphans, no town drunks, everyone's inside by curfew all the time
>town guard are aggressive and the laws authoritarian
>everyone is also on edge because someone has been using their magic powers to project the feeling of someone breathing down the back of literally everyone in the town's necks
>said throat breather proceeds to be insulted by a racist shopkeep
>sneaks out in the middle of the night, without telling anyone, breaks into the shop with the intent of murdering that man
>surprise he isn't there at 2:30am
>patrol notices broken window while he rummages about'
>demand he show himself and prepare to enter the shop
>he does, but also turns invisible
>guards freak the fuck out, whistle quarrels start shooting up into the sky, the actual fuck was that
>rather than run, rather than hide, he tries to shimmy up a roof and attack
>invisibility isn't perfect, guards shoot back
>more guards start to show up in response to the whistling
>they know he's there, they see the shimmer, others point it out

And that's how a player was volleyed to death by a dozen crosbowmen. Actually that game involved several people dying because they thought superpowers would let them take on large groups of people come to think of it.

You mean fate points?
Nah, he burned his last one getting hit by a bloodletter he spawned through warp shenanigans.

The stupidest death I've had happen at my table:

>Running an oldschool game
>Warn my players several times that I will be running shit by the books and rolling dice in the open.
>Warn them a second time during character creation that this game will be particularly lethal, and that they should approach everything with caution
>First dungeon they encounter, there is a door with a bunch of red runes on it.
>There is a scorched skeleton in front of it, and black marks leading away from the door for 10 feet
>There is heat coming off of the door, and the wizard senses a great deal of magic coming from it.
>A knight in the party says, I want to touch it.
>Everyone looks blankly at him
>Book reads, "the door blasts anything within 10 feet of the door for 2d10 points of fire damage. If they are within the first five feet, there is no Reflex save for half damage."
>He gets all salty and tries to act like it's somehow my fault that he died.

Holy fuck! I fuckin' kek'd a kek I ain't had in a long time.

That had me literally tearing up. I wish I could have been there for that one. Fuckin' saved.

I got one death to share

>wizard in 5e
>exploring an ancient forest
>encounter lots of plant enemies like ents and shit
>come up to a grouping of shrub things
>rest of party goads me into sneaking close to them and using a fire spell with a cone
>fail the sneak roll, don't do enough damage to kill any of the shrubs
>fucking dismembered and decapitated by a bunch of burning shrubs

I'm still pissed about it. Fuck that GM.

>playing abandon all hope
>my character has an injured leg, but is otherwise ok, has a few other teammates nearby
>other 2 PC's investigate a suspicious hole they find
>hole goes into a deep tunnel that serves almost like the spine across the spaceship
>the two walk through the excessively warm tunnels and spy a sign in a universal language warning about radiation, symbol and a few more common languages below it
>characters go on anyway, one says her character wouldn't know what it means (!)
>GM tries to throw them one more ball to escape without fucking awful awful times by warning them that they were starting to feel woozy and nauseous as they come to a sealed door
>lol we open it
>are you sure?
>this is it, the time they'll realize they're being fucking stupid surely
>of course we're sure, GM!
>both get hit with super crippling radiation
>one dies basically shitting their organs
>one lives, but only barely and is all-but bedridden the remander of the campaign
>mfw the one that died had a radiation suit in inventory the entire time but never equipped it and I know this because I was the one that gave it to him earlier in the session since my character was temporary out of action.

I remember that second one. Didn't it have some sort of chart for how much power was needed to teleport, and they just kind of completely ignored it?

I remember thinking that maybe they would flee without taking the chart with them or something, but no, they just ignored the thing.

Man, that's pretty dumb, even by my standards.

>trying to break into an office with another character who has joked about killing me off while out other teammate watches the door
>we are alone on the roof
>I slide into a chimney, start scooting down slowly and quietly
>asshole aims his crossbow down the chimney at me and smiles
>says "The time has finally come..."
>I roll my eyes and cast Sleep on him and harmlessly knock him out
>he unfortunately wakes up the next round
>he says "Ok I kill him for real now, he attacked me."
>Am basically instantly killed in two crossbow shots I can't defend against

These deaths seem familiar, this is either a copypasta or you're that same DM with the group of lemmings for PCs.

Op here. Not my group, for starters we have never had three mage class at one time.


Yeah, they had a reference work on the practicalities of teleportation, which they consulted, and then went YOLO.

The "stupid" part comes from playing with a GM who uses critical failures in D&D.

>this is just a test to prove we're not cowards
>i don't know what he expected

he literally told you what he expected. are you totally mentally handicapped?

Criteria failures add an element of risk to things. Suddenly even an all powerful character has a chance to cock up, and this helps to deter the god complex to an extent.
It also allows the dm to have some fun with things or put some extra impromptu challenge on the party.