The fast food wars have begun...

The fast food wars have begun. All other corporations and governments are powerless; all that matters is the fast food corporations, each of which bombs or attacks their competition both in real life and on twitter. Civilians are cowed into obedience, choosing a side and then hoping the others don't send assassins after them. Only one chain can survive. Who will it be?

I tough about something similar to this months ago.
Lets get down to this, what will different fast food restaurants be like as factions in a wargame?

I think Judge Dredd gets into this scenario too at one point, can't remember the specific book though.

There's not much on the "war", though.
It's something Dredd finds as he's travelling from MegaCity One to MegaCity Two across the whole wasteland to deliver the cure to some plague.
Really liked that story, Spikes and the alien I forgot the name were interesting characters.

I know one thing, Mcdonalds= hordes of men

McDonald's user reporting in, I agree with this user, we would be the horde faction.

There's going to have to be some difference between the different kinds of fast food joints though, perhaps different weapons or different ways of fighting otherwise I'd think the only difference would be what color shirt you're wearing.

Mc donalds guys would have the largest catalog of toys at their disposal( to simulate wealth) but most of their soldiers couldn't give a fuck and will run at the sight of real danger
Don't know about the others though


I imagined McDonald's as a magic and creatures faction, I'm mostly coming from the McDonald's video games that have those wacky scenarios and such

Demolition Man with Sylvester Stalone maybe? There's a fast food war that Taco Bell won, and every restaurant is Taco Bell

>Starbucks is a rival horde-faction, but with coffee-based combat stims everywhere instead of McDonalds' magic/creatures
>Food Trucks are the hit-and-run bandits, led by the legendary Creamers (ice cream trucks) and Dogs (hot dog wagons)

So, from what I'm gathering from that image is that Wendy and Jimmy John has got it going on?

Yfw you realise that the Curry Alliance means that McSleazy's are doomed to phaal...

And that the UK has a burger chain called " Wimpey"!

You underestimate certain subcultures of McDonald's fandom.


Something something something NAP
Something something something Morgan Did Nothing Wrong

McDonalds would be something like the Enclave if it actually cared about its image among the people it not-so-secretly despised, wishing it were still the 50s while likewise trying to modernize its image among the public as the "Good Guy" who is all for traditional values. Up front, its All-American and family friendly, but you wouldn't need to do much digging to see that image propped up by cynicism a foot thick and backed by hard-line "old guard" who bossed around legions of burger fools in a manner reminiscent of a certain state sect's relation to its country's military.

Better call the Judges.

We're gonna need a map for this fast food hellscape.

you can tell this one is older because Quiznos.

>that one In-N-Out that almost crosses into your state's line


>no Chick-fil-a

I think if you wanted to do this properly, you would need to create factions based on types of food, and these factions have internal sects
dedicated to different chains.

>Beef Clan:
McDonald's, Hardee's, Wendy's, etc. Most militant and warlike faction, located in the western territories. Rumors say they are cannibals.

>Sandwich clan
Subway, Jimmy John's, etc. the most balanced and prosperous, often the subject of raids from other clans as they are located in the center. Also known for underground child slave market.

>Asian Clan:
Panda Express, Pei Wei, etc. Warrior monks who study a myriad of flavors that reside in the mysterious northeast.

>Sweet Clan:
Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, Sonic, etc. Barbarians of the cold north who utilize druidic magic to great extent.

>Hispanic Clan:
Taco Bell, Taco Bueno, etc. Southern nation of mercenaries and thugs also known for pyromancy.

>Poultry Clan:
KFC, Popeyes, Chicken Express, etc. Practitoners of dark magic in the boiling grease-swamps of the southeast.

>Fish Clan:
Long John Silver's, Joe's Crab Shack, Red Lobster, etc. Pirate barons who strike terror along the coasts

>Pizza Clan:
Papa John's, Domino's, Pizza Hut, etc. Nomads with no fixed home, often take on rejects from other nations

>hispanic clan

Also, what the shit, pizzas are nomads and rejects? I would make them more of city-states, who seem to hold through difficult times.

This one is actually quite evocative.

All the black area is McDonald's. A Sonic-controlled enclave in Texas is the only real free territory within the crushing empire of the shining golden M.

All other food chains are small, tightly-controlled fortresses. They mount desperate convoys of heavily-armored war rigs to travel out into Ronald's deadly wastelands.

In the cities like Dallas, it's all-out urban warfare. Territory is divided into a complex ever-shifting patchwork of city blocks.

The great fast food war is not a war of countries or borders. Their structure is like no state from the past 5000 years of human civilization. Their territory is a pointillist painting. It is guerrilla warfare from every direction, a hundred factions living side-by-side. Roving gangs that are loyal only to a color, a logo, a brand; controlled by nebulous corporate hands for unknowable purposes.

I always new Dallas/Fort Worth was cancer but the commiefornian insurgency just proves it. Whataburger is the only fast food place Texas needs!

I'm basing it off the fact that a lot of pizza places have tons of other stuff not related to pizza, and how pizzas can come with tons of different toppings that originate from other types of cuisine.

They're nomads because most most pizza chains specialize in delivery rather than serving in-house.

In that case, trade centers make more sense. They deliver to all from there, and receive the influences of many others.

Popeyes' faction have high cost units

Maybe nomads with a few, well established city-states in other territories that clans tolerate because of the trade they bring.

Who is baby face suppose to be

>Beef = Lion
>Sandwich = Crane?
>Asian = Dragon
>Sweet = Crab?
>Hispanic = Scorpion?
>Poultry = Phoenix?
>Fish = Mantis
>Pizza = Unicorn
>It's literally just L5R

>not having the fish just be a fish

So is this supposed to be a dystopian setting or fantasy setting or what?

A dystopian setting that might look a lot like fantasy from a certain point of view. McDonalds Secret Police dressed up like Mac Tonight roaming their vast spans of territory in order to put down insurrection while the brave knights of the realms of Burger King, Dairy Queen, and White Castle fight repel the foreign hordes from their fortresses wihle making and breaking alliances with each other at will. Where Little Ceaser does drive bys to take out Spartan Pizza before he becomes an issue while likewise trying to stay low lest Pizza Hut gets in on his operation and calls down the wrath of PepsiCo. The Colonel has been dead for years and KFC is trying to figure out how to stay afloat as Popeye maneuvers to decapitate their position, Church gaining territory in places that have fallen outside eithers' eyes.

The Fast Food Wars are a puppet show between Coke and Pepsi. They don't care which restaurant is left as long as it's one that serves their sodas.

We talking Shadowrun Cola Wars or UA3 Max Attak schism?


>Two great franchises go to war.
>Only Taco Bell comes out as the winner.

>Taco Bell didn't even participate in the war
Funny thing: remember the outbreaks of one particular disease traced back to Chipotle? Look at all the locations, and their timing, then analyze with one piece of info: different regions of Chipotle use different suppliers for all fresh foodstuffs. The outbreak timing was right for a central distribution scheme, not a local one.
That's what a good shadowrun looks like from the outside - it makes the people who realize it happened sound like loonies with tinfoil hats.

I blame the Sonic the Hedgehog twitter for all this.