Imperium children's coloring book

>"Hi, I'm Troilius McCure. You may remember me from such educational dataslates 'How to Report a Mutant' and 'Genestealers, EW!'. Today we're going to talk about a very special topic.
>"What's that, Inquisitor McCure?"
>"I'm glad you asked, Bimmy"
>"It's Jimmy"
>"Now, now, Bobby, who's holding the bolt pistol to your head?"
>"You, Inquisitor, sir. My name is...Bobby."
>"Good one, kid! And that brings us to our lesson: 'Obeying Authority: I'm Not Going To Ask You Twice!'. Ready to learn how to avoid capital FUNishment, Bobby?"
>"Yes, sir!"

You are not wrong. Whiteshields maybe are underage but they are no children anymore. A laser blast from a 10 year old guardsman is deadly as a blast from a 35 year old veteran. (Those flashlights can be very dazzling)

Just like that. Its so sad, that GW has not yet released a comedy show in this universe. I know how that sounds, but imagine a sitcom in the Adeptus Administratum, with "US-Cops try to shoot it level of darkness"-dark humor.

Yes. In Eye of Terror they mention toy a Space Marine and some mutant, that kids could remote control and do battles with. So a colouring book would be totally in line with the Imperium trying to brainwash the people.

The link isn't working. When I clicked it my mouse pointer burst into flames.

I like seeing the Imperium as a weird mix between North Korea and the Holy Roman Empire. Their basic constitution resembled the Necronomicon, able to drive clerks insane, and several court cases infamously took multiple centuries to complete (the logic was that any case involving families wasn't in a rush, since they would keep making new family members indefinitely). And North Korea, well, frontier worlds would be the equivalent of people sitting a few yards from the border leeching Chinese wifi.

Fuck off, europoor

>The treads on the Land Raider crush the heretics

Is this supposed to look like Blackadder?

This is adorable, horrifying, and gut-bustingly hilarious all at once.

Someone send help, my sides are reaching escape velocity.

Have you read any of it?

It very much is. It is a cross between flashman and blackadder, but in the GRIM DARKNESS.

...

The picture of the guardsman planting the flag on the chunk of Cadia and the heresy quiz are fucking brilliant.

>invoke the blessing of sternutation
My sides are now in orbit.

>summary execution pack sold separately
That summarily executed my sides

I read a couple of them but I couldn't enjoy them after a few books. I find Mitchell, despite being the funniest BL author, can't write characters for shit. I didn't like any of the characters aside from Cain and even he wasn't that enjoyable of a schtick

I love Gaunt's Ghosts on the other hand. I've heard it's a ripoff of Sharpe, and I've read all the Sharpe novels, but I disagree. Mitchell is more prone to Sharpe-ness in that the story only really revolves around Cain (and to a lesser extent Jurgen) and every other character feels like a cutout questgiver NPC a la MMO's. Abnett does a much better job of character development of the side characters and the feel of the world and plot, which is actually cool because imo Gaunt is one of the most boring characters in the entire series - everyone else makes up for him in so many ways (though he isn't as completely flat as, say, Kasteen who exists to tell Cain "danger is that way! Go do some heroic shit!" or Amberley who goes "Lol Cain you're liar. I am hot. That is the depth of my character LMAO").

It's the same with Mitchell's other books like the completely unfinished Dark Heresy novels he just stopped writing. Characters were cutouts sadly

You heretic!

>he doesn't like Jurgen

>revolves around Cain (and to a lesser extent Jurgen) and every other character feels like a cutout questgiver NPC

Cain and Jurgen are the only things I like. It's everyone and everything else that feel underdeveloped and boring.

There's also 0 character development. It's just the same book x10: they go to Planet X which is different. Inane bullshit Y takes place. Now Commissar Cain and his wacky sidekick have to save the day! And Amberley, the hot chick with no personality, will show up later and he'll cream his pants about her!

There's no character development or progress. Cain doesn't get more or less cowardly. He's just the same schtick again and again. Not like how Rawne eventually comes to like Gaunt, or how a bunch of important Ghosts simply bite it, or to reference other Abnett works Eisenhorn and Ravenor both change significantly as do their respective teams.

Mitchell is a good comedy and action writer. Cain would have made a great one-off or trilogy. But midway through the 5th or 6th book I found myself bored and had to drop them.