Real Life Random Encounters

Vaguely related to my bear encounter

>Be me at 7 years old
>Vacationing up in the mountains
>Dark as shit out
>Armed with only a flashlight and the child-like fascination at waving it around that only autism can give you
>making way to aunt's cabin where my brother and sister are
>Get close, stop to wave my flashlight around because autism
>See aunt panicking in the window, waving me closer
>Bitch I'll get there when I get there
>Slowly meander my way over
>Siblings are crying and aunt is freaking out
>Apparently the entire last half of the walk up, there was a big black bear following about 2 feet behind me and I didn't notice.
>mfw

Your cat is a fucking pussy, cats usually attack black bears and chase them off. Black bears don't know what to expect from a cat so they run away

This is a true story of something that happened to me when I was 12.

>Walking around a rich walled in neighborhood in venezuela with my little cousin and sister
>Suddenly hear soft clucking coming from above my head
>Look up. Pic related is looking down at me with a quizzical look on its face
>Decide to whistle to it because I'm a fucking autist who can whistle really well
>I stretch my hand out, there's about five feet of vertical distance between me and the parrot
>I start my whistling song. The parrot looks at me like I'm a fucking retard.
>I'm pretty sure I was whistling something from majora's mask or paper mario
>Ten minutes later my hands are tired. My sister wants to go home
>In the instant where I move to lower my arm the parrot's eyes suddenly dilate
>opens its beak and screams "NINO RICOOOOOO!!!" Which translates in english to "Tasty boy"
>The hype is real and I continue to whistle my heart out rendering every tune I can remember
>For the next thirty minutes the parrot slowly moves down branch from branch getting closer
>The moment of truth, the parrot is less than inch from my hand. It nibbles on my fingernail and grabs my thumb between its claws
>My heart is in my throat I'm so scared and excited I don't know what to do other than whistle
>The parrot gets on my hand and rapidly climbs up to my shoulder where it begins to alternate between nibbling my hair and pressing its beak against my ear to whisper sweet parrot nothings
>It won't let anybody other than myself touch it or get close to it. It refuses to get off my shoulder and stays with me for the rest of the day
>For the rest of my time there the parrot and I are inseparable. Have to keep it in another room while I sleep.

And that's how I got myself a pet parrot. I loved that aggressive feathery fucker.

>visable minority

>late at night, coming back from a party
>standing near a bus stop smoking
>two guys come near me
>scared to death because one of them looks like a movie criminal - bald, tatooed, vertical scar across his face, the second one looks like a typical hooligan type
>they just ask me for a smoke and offer me to drink vodka with them
Not that unusual considering slavs

I swear the number of times I've squared up to punch birds in my lifetime

Then again I'm from Australia, the land where 80% of the feathered wildlife thinks that your skull contains delicious treats that can only be extracted via high velocity dive-bombing.

>three hours ago
>walking through city with headphones in
>walk past old dude
>he says something to me
>take out headphones,
"What did you say"
>"Are you from Turkey?"
"No, haha"
>"Where are you from then?"
"From here, Germany"
>"Ah, stay healthy!", smiles and waves
Y-you too, have a nice day
This wouldn't be too random if I looked even the tiniest bit like I could be from Turkey

Good story Abdul.

>bald, tatooed, vertical scar across his face
That looks like me to be honest
I got the scar while renovating my house

this was from school
>sitting with small group of friends
>some random kid from a lower grade tries to sit with us
>friends says "why are you here?"
>kid walks off, dumping an entire tray of food in the bin

The veracity of this greentext is questionable, but it's quite entertaining nonetheless.

I am a Greek

Thats what all of the Turks like to think

same thing

> During the winter at a friends house, getting high
> Drive home
> SilentNight.jpg
> Fresh snow too, the plows hadn't hit the roads yet
> Fresh snow also meant I couldn't see the yellow lines
> Suddenly a cop pulls up behind me
> Ah shit, play it cool
> Two blocks later another cop pulls up aside me
> PLAY IT COOL
> Glance at the cop
> Get a death gaze in return
> Out of nowhere another cop car passes in front of me and then again two blocks later
> Another cop pulls in front of me boxing me in
> wut is going on
> Cops, like angry bees, begin to swarm around me, pulling behind, pulling aside, pulling ahead, crisscrossing in front of me
> Focusing stupidly hard on not looking high, being casual, and driving in a straight line
> I can't see the yellow lines and fervently hope I'm not wavering in my driving
> Cops finally leave me alone as I leave their territory
> wtf

>On a trip to D.C.
>For some reason we're in chinatown
>Going around looking for a noodle restaurant or something looking at all the knockoff shit on the way
>Random Asian guy comes up to me and gives me a paper crane.
>Fast forward 6 years
>Out of curiosity open up the crane
>Written inside is an address and some girl's name
>Google the address
>Find out it's where the mob left some dead bodies
>Burn the fuck out of that paper

Whoa, that is both cool and scary. I actually felt a little fear because of how relatively realistic that kind of thing can be

>Then again I'm from Australia, the land where 80% of the feathered wildlife thinks that your skull contains delicious treats that can only be extracted via high velocity dive-bombing.
To be fair, it does.

>Charm animal
>Nat 20
>you now have a new familiar

It also means "Rich boy" and where you were, it sounds more relevant.

grease comes from turkey

...

>Bordeaux, in France
>See a homeless guy near Porte de Bourgogne
>He's.. dressed as a pirate
>Hat, eyepatch, natural beard and all that shit
>Has a chess table installed in front of him
>Offer to play against people for a little fee instead of begging

Ok, that was pretty cool. Shame that I know jack shit about chess.

> Walking at like 4 in the morning with my girlfriend.
> Not very familiar with the neighborhood, but not lost either.
> Not a soul in sight.
> We turn a corner and there's a dude sitting in a front yard, just barefeet, smoking alone.
> Hey sees us and says "hey dudes!"
> Get kinda scared, dude is sketchy looking.
> "Would you like a rabbit?"
> wtf
> Like what the fuck is he trying to say? Is rabbit some sort of slang for drugs or something? Is he trying to distract us to rob us?
> He turns around and grabs a fully adult actual gray rabbit and extends it towards us.
> wat.jpg
> I say "I...I wouldn't know what to do with a rabbit?...thanks tho"
> He shrugs and says "eh, that's understandable"
> Girl starts laughing.
> Keep walking

We never saw the dude again.

>semi-detached house
>out boy
>If nothing else I've learned that if an animal attacks my dogs I will fucking fight them.

British ca/tg/irl detected.

No, I'm typed it on a mobile and my battery was dying so no time to proof read.

>parents move in to my house (their old house) while their house's being fumigated
>dad's sorta burly, shorter than me with more muscles.
>late night onnainternets
>i thirst for refreshments
>head downstairs
>dad's there.
>in a maid dress
>mom's fetishy maid dress
>playing BotW.
>eyes closed
>fighting a white maned lynel, one of the real tough bastards.
>he's winning.
>grab my drink and get back upstairs, 2wyrd4me.
>ask dad about it tomorrow
>he has no memory of it.
>blames me for messing with his save.

He has never sleepwalked before that.

Jesus christ that white girl looks like a fucking genestealer.

Almost certainly a fake story but damn if that wasn't a fantastic read. Very well done.

I tend to be a random encounter that happens to people, particularly in touristy areas.
> Walking through London
> Trying to get somewhere by tube
> Shit keeps being closed, forcing me to redirect and walk miles through stations
> Get pissed off by it all, walk faster to get there quicker
> People coming the other way go out of their way to avoid me
> Weave through slower people
> Get people out of the way on a travelator (a conveyor belt for people) by stopping sharply behind them.

> Cycling home from hanging with friends
> Middle of the night
> Something pulls into the road in front of me, and keeps pace
> Look at it
> It's a fucking badger
> Just running along down the road
> After a few minutes of following it, it pulls off and is gone into the undergrowth
> I shrug, and carry on going

Otherwise, working retail seems to have given me a big sign over my head telling people I'm there specifically to help them.
> On holiday
> Wandering around a small village
> Follow footpath by a river
> Find a magical-looking waterfall surrounded by trees and cliffs
> Settle down to read my book for a bit
> Mere seconds later, someone wanders into the clearing and bugs me for help reading a map
> With his wife and >5 children.
> Point him in the right direction
> Literally the only way out other than going back the way you came is a treacherous set of steps
> They took one look at it and go back the way they came

I've had this happen to me when I was in high-school. We had a small Rat-Terrier mix whom I left out into the backyard. I heard a strange yelping from the front yard and rushed out to see her get dropped 10 feet by some kind of hawk.

Scared the shit out of me, and she had a talon-gash in her head, but she recovered fine.

>1am, in bed with qt gf
>get a call from a friend
>she's having a panic attack and wants me to drive over
>driving down highway, stopped at traffic lights
>check out car next to me
>1980s shitbox old blue sedan
>i-is that a parrot?
>car has 3-4 loose blue macaws in it
>valuable, illegal birds
>3 people also in car, seem unfazed by birds
>we both drive through the lights when they change
>both going exactly the speed limit
>passenger of other car and I lock eyes
>parrots continue moving around car etc
>i'm losing my fucking mind, I have to be
>they accelerate away from me, driving fast to the airport
>when I get to my friend's house i explain
>she laughs, panic attack ends immediately
>call tip line
>"sorry sir, are you telling me they were smuggling... birds?"

>He has never sleepwalked before that.
As far as you know.

Ok I have a few.

>On bus
>Going home for god knows where
>Some dude sits next to me
>Older, in his 40s
>Looks at me
>Smiles the widest grin
>Calls me Igor
>Ask me where have I been
>He hasn't seen be since we where in the army
>Hes still a Sargent
>Says he misses the drinking we used to do while I was suppose to be on watch
>Asks me if I've lost weight
>Tells me i should drop over hes auto-repair shop sometimes
>Gives me a business card
>Gets off at his stop

I literally didn't say a word apart from yup thinking hes a nut-job. He's shit checks out tho.
Legit full fledged Sargent, with a automobile repair shop. And I guess he knows a guy named Igor who looks like a fatter me...

>Used to be a "night receptionist" in college Basically sit at a dorm entrance and check in students and visitors all night.
>Two in the morning, fucking Green Man shows up outside the dorm.
>Dances around for a minute, then runs off.
>Have discussion with coworker whether this goes on the log sheet or not.

Well, maybe he did when we were all still living in the old (now collapsed) shack-house. But ever since we moved to my current house, i've always stayed up late and not once in my time of 1 to 9 sleep schedule have i see him sleepwalk.

Sleepwalking is a bitch

>At brothers house
>Late at night
>Hear something brake downstairs
>OH GOODY ITS A BURGLAR
>HONEY GET THE GUN
>What do you mean we don't have a gun at my brothers place
>Bloody hippie
>Armed to the teeth with nothing but autism I walk downstairs
>I see my brother getting ready for school
>Packing his books in a backpack
>Bumbling bout being late
>Its 3 in the morning
>He's 30
>Where did he get the spiderman kid sized backpack
>And schoolbooks
>Escort my brother to his bed
>Spend the rest of the night contemplating where the fuck he god the backpack and books
>Morning comes
>Brother wakes up
>Laughed it off
>Thinks i was just fucking with him and got the backpack and books to fuck with him.

10 years have past and i still have no fuckign idea where he got the books and backpack...

Fuck that retarded tip hotline worker. The illegal smuggling of exotic birds is a pretty big problem. How the hell could someone work there without even knowing that?

Its college nothings special

>Be in college
>Be in dorm room with some girls
>Be drinking rum
>Be needing to puke
>Be puking
>Be realizing I need a shower
>Be in shower
>Be realizing should wash my junk, there are girls here after all
>Be realizing I probably should have taken my pants off before getting in the shower
>Be blacking out
>Be waking up on the roof of the dorm

College makes no scene unless your drunk, high or both

the whole experience was incredibly fucking bizarre man.

for the four-armed emperor

>finish a small one shot at my LGS rpg dedicated room
>go take the metro
>on the other side is a dude, completly drunk, wearing a tricorn, when two women pass by him he tip them

That's not a lot, but it was a fun thing to see

A bit of a Veeky Forums tail but i hope you don't mind

>Outside running
>Bump in to some friends I know from the track
>Decide to run together, so we can chat
>About halfway up the track i shit you not a fucking naked hairless 70yo dude shriveled up from the pain of existence sprints pest up
>Faster than any man I have ever seen before
>Continues sprinting until hes out of sight
>Never see him again

>Walking through Greenock, a mostly-protestant town
>I have a green and black umbrella, green is associated with Celtic, a team followed mostly by Catholics. There is "animosity" for some reason. Something to do with potatoes.
>Some guy looking to start a fight comes up
>"Hey, you a CFC guy?"
>CFC stands for Celtic Football Club, taking this guy on wouldn't be difficult but I'd rather not get involved in a fight.
>At the same time he could be a Celtic hooligan and answering Rangers could start a fight
>"Naw mate, I'm a Morton guy", Morton being the local team of Greenock. A safe bet.
>"Awright guid on ye"
>50xp for successful bluff check
>I actually don't give a single fuck about football.

Did this happen this Saturday

Because I was balckout drunk with a tricorn on... And i think there's a MTG game shop near the bar i was drinking at...

To be fair the bar is called jolly roger and its pirate themed...

No this just happened an hour ago.

Invisible minorities are the worst. Explains how my bike rode itself away

>be working a shitty job at the streets
>random old man tells me the tablet I'm carrying "is the ruin of mankind"
>ask him what the fuck he means
>surprizingly have a very interesting and constructive conversation about the impact of new technologies in day to day life and social interactions, he's not even some kind of luddite as he appeared first and we agree on a lot of things
>when I tell him that I'm worried about my future he tells me that he has devised that I will do great things like he's some kind of hobo prophet

>had to pick up friend from airport at like 1am
>driving through sketchy part of town
>stopped at light, look over at car next to me
>this huge black guy is hanging three quarters of the way out of the driver side window
>partying his ass off, he's got some moves
>light turns green, no one else in his car
>his car starts driving, maintaining good speed, not swerving at all
>he's still dancing out the window, somehow still driving
I wish I were as cool as that guy

>Black bears don't know what to expect from a cat so they run away
Sounds to me like they exactly how a cat will fuck you up.
Probably read the statblock.
Damn metagaming bears.

Reminds me of James Labrie.

>he doesnt remember his ancient secret identity

NOT EVEN DEATH CAN CATCH HIM

Fuck. That's how he's so good. He's got fucking hivemind powers.

Fuck. I just almost got assimilated when I saw DT live last week.

>Armed to the teeth with nothing but autism I walk downstairs
Amazing.

>Late night in Besançon, France, a couple year ago
>Tipsy and tired.
>I see a hobo handling some little bottles at a bus stop
>Walking by, minding my own business
>"Hey mate, got a smoke?"
>Give him one
>Notice he's got some droppers and small containers
>"want some acid? Im making some fresh one right now. Cheap."
>"nah thanks"
>Give him my lighter
>I went home to sleep

I'm sorry to say, but I don't carrot all.

>sees
to whom are you referring?

>Work in grocery store
>Some woman walks up to me and starts speaking French
>Ask her if she speaks English
>She responds in French
>I know basically of French
>Say "I don't speak French" in French
>She gets angry and starts yelling at me
>All I know how to say is "I don't speak French" and ask where the bathroom is so I say the former to everything she says
>This gets her angry and she walks off
>My friend comes up later that night (works in customer service) and starts telling me about this woman who started yelling at her in French about "that racist asshole in the bakery who was insulting her language"

...

>someones first reaction is to say they're calling the cops on you rather than hearing you out
>when you have them at a clear disadvantage
>when phones are lost from falling out of pockets all the time
>literally blaming someone else instead of thinking not even you but your clothing could possibly, MAYBE, EVER be at fault
yeah nah, turn it off and hide it even better.

read that a bit earlier b/c of this thread
a modern classic

And yet here you are on Veeky Forums.

Even world leaders can shitpost.

>getting drinks with friends after PAX
>walking back to the hotel we take a detour with less hills
>Down the street we see a homeless guy drumming on his knees and clapping while singing something
>As we approach can start making out words
>About 5 feet from him I realize he's singing the "ass n' titties" song
>give him like 10 bucks and continue walking, I don't think he even noticed me

i was doing some demolition work in seattle not far away from beth's cafe, so i went there for lunch, while i was waiting for my order the old hippy dude sitting in the next booth turned around and said "hi, you look like someone i'm supposed to know", i says to him hi i'm user.

while i was eating he went on to tell me that he is the odd father and he had kurt cobain and jimi hendrix living inside his head, and that all the rock gods are coming back, if i give him the names of two dead rock stars they will move into my head and i could be part of his band, i says to him Dave Brockie and Lemmy Kilmister,
he says ok now come meet me in the ally and we can do the ritual, i says sorry i have to get back to work, he says it'll only take 5 min, i said sorry no paid my tab and split

>i hardly ever fall for that anymore

>anymore

maybe you folks can tell me.

if you're cleaning up rubble from a demolished church, how many dildos are too many to find?

One. One is too many.

i found 7. one was at leas 18 inches long i tried to convince my boss to attach it to the front of his truck

wacky fucking lutherans

jesus christ

That's probably what it was named.

10/10

Okay, I chuckled.

You better be nice to him for when he starts singing pumped up kicks

>Be drinking and smoking the Devil's Lettuce with buddies in Jacksonville
>Run out of smokes, three of us decide to walk to nearest gas station on the corner of the street
>Right before we get there, hobo outta fuckin' nowhere
>Says he wants to show us a magic trick, asks for change
>Give him like 4 cents, all I had on me
>Says he's gonna make it disappear, starts chanting magic words, then yells "WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!" but nobody turns to look.
>Tries to hide coins in his mouth, just ends up hitting himself in the face with them and they scatter on the ground
>Sits on the ground and starts crying, saying "Man, I'm just trying to get home."
>Tell him he can keep the change, go buy smokes.

>Be me
>Never touched or went out with a grill before
>One day a grill comes to my door
>I'm in my underwear with no shirt or shorts
>Grill can see my chode imprint
>Grill wants to come inside and talk
>Grill comes in and I show her my pony stuff
>She isn't trying to get out of my house
>Sperg out and make a ton of shitty jokes that involve screaming
>She STILL isn't trying to get out
>We watch YouTube videos on my bed for about an hour
>During the hour she is leaning on me and touching my arm
>I'm not used to this because at the time I was an obese, ugly as fuck, mong with low self-esteem
>I don't understand she was coming on to me and wants to smash
>Become weirded out as fuck due to all the closeness from a girl
>I ask her to leave
>Later we end up sexting
>HolyShitThisIsStraightOutOfMyJapaneseCartoons.png
>I never talk to her again and now it's awkward whenever we see each other
Just fuck my shit up senpai. That was the closest I ever came to getting laid. Even if she falsely charged me with rape it would have been worth it.

jesus, could have at least given him a few bucks after that.

I would have if I had any besides the pennies, all I had was my card and the gas station didn't do cash-back

>CAPTCHA: Select all images with a gas station

Top tier

>Something to do with potatoes.

You've successfully described my entire lineage, heritage, and raison d'être. Well done, sir.

Could have given him some smokes dude

He had already vanished by the time we were done buying more, otherwise I would've

I'm not a complete monster user, I was just drunk and confused

3

I'm a New Yorker, and sometimes when I'm drunk and sometimes when I'm sober I go out of my way to be the random encounter. Gotta give the tourists the full NYC experience of dealing with crazy people on the subway.

Jesus christ you're like a bad anime MC

...

Quick Veeky Forums, name the other six and we'll have a Lutheran Dildo Adventuring Party.

Former pizza delivery driver here.
>This lady lives in the fucking boonies of the city
>Her location is goddamn near impossible to drive to (it's on a mountain road right off a busy street and there are basically no fucking signs at all so it takes me three tries to get the right turn)
>Drive down into a grassy clearing, there are two trailer-sized houses in this huge field
>About to get out of the car when I hear the barking
>Shut the door just in time for this huge dog to come running up to the door and barking like the dickens
>I figure I could probably take it, but I don't want to hurt the dog, risk getting bitten, or ruin my uniform/the pizza
>Wait until the customer calls off the dog
>She's a short middle-aged woman, apologizes for the dog's behavior
>Get a three dollar tip

>It's hot as fuck when I'm making my delivery, try to keep myself chipper
>Guy comes to open the door, looks at me and can instantly tell I'm dehydrated
>What the fuck, I didn't realize it myself
>He pays for the pizza and tells me he was an army medic
>Requests I get myself some water before making my next delivery
>I promise to get something to drink and leave
>Actually do as he asks, end up feeling and driving better

>Drive to a location in my neighborhood
>This is when I'm a greenhorn, so when the guy comes to the door I fumble with the change a bit
>This guy is huge, like rip my arms off huge
>He starts getting angry and asks what the fuck I'm doing
>Alarms start blaring in my head
>I apologize because of the fact that I'm new to this
>Turns out he used to deliver pizzas too
>Gives me a short explanation of how to clean up my act a bit
>End up leaving arms intact
>Deliver to his location later, his wife comes to the door, doesn't comment on me

The dudes probably bailed
No gangsta would want to be caught going around with random white children in the middle of the night