Bad DM/Bad Player thread

Bad DM/Bad Player thread.
A thread dedicated to those shitty DMs, annoying players, and everything else that makes a fa/tg/uy froth in rage.

Other urls found in this thread:

autism.com/understanding_theoryofmind
dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Run_(Feat)
youtube.com/watch?v=EMZponXbUj0
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>a bunch of coworkers have a D&D group going
>Never really cared to play despite them asking me several times
>Their DM comes to me and says he has a plan.
>Wants me to start playing as a cleric but secretly be a spy for the villain
>Has two character sheets worked out. One fake which the players see and one real one
>Says I'm not supposed to actively try and kill them but to just make things difficult for them.
>Decide it could be fun so I agree
>Go to their next game
>start playing
>One of the other players, one of my coworkers, apparently heard the DM and myself plotting during work and told everyone
>mfw

I'm not really into RPing but this seems like it's frowned upon.

OP here, metagaming is frowned upon in tabletop games.

That's what I thought.

I had a guy in my gurps group who kept making just the absolute worst characters. Just complete shit from both a concept/RP standpoint and from mechanics.
Always made edgy, antisocial special snowflakes who constantly tried to show off how cool and badass they were, but couldn't make a functional, viable character to save his soul, and then would get mad when his guy was awful at basically everything. I'd try to point out areas where he could improve, but he'd literally only fix the specific thing I mentioned and nothing else, and get mad if I "kept pressing him" . He was also an obnoxious retard at the table, so he didn't last long. He did manage to make his way through three characters in almost as many sessions

>Four armed omnicidal midget cyclops from "A dimeinsion of pain cahos you can't understand" who dual wielded tower shields despite being catastrophically weak. Died by eating the corpse of a fungus monster he 100% knew was infectious and toxic

>Mutant "master thief" who sunk most of his points into being able to see and breathe underwater, despite being told that those powers would be niche at most. Despite allegedly being a skilled burglar, had no stealth skills whatsoever, fought (poorly) with a claymore, and not only didn't have any criminal contacts but actively resisted getting any, citing the fact that "he works alone". Died to many, many bullets after deciding to take on a small army despite his less than marginal combat skills and his significantly more combat oriented partner deciding to stand down

>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal and socially tolerated in the region. Also wore kingdom hearts style black robes with little skull bells, which he insisted was the uniform of the "great wizard school" (it wasn't). Spent points to have said bells be able to be turned on and off at will, for no real reason. Couldn't actually necromance.

>Join a group on roll20
>DM said to keep the sup books limited
>Decide it would be fun to make a short sword/ dagger using fighter type, with lots of ranks in running
>I was going to be a long distance messenger type who focused more on getting the message there more than smiting demons
>DM liked it and said it was very flavorful and should fit in fine
>I take ranks in running, and feats to support it
>First session, we get all of our gear stolen in our sleep, and have to chase a thief down into the sewers
>Dm tells us all to roll a run check
>I ask about my feats and skill ranks
>DM says, "Oh, Nah, I use a 3d6 check on running"
>basically 3d6, high numbers good, low numbers bad
>Thief gets a 15 total
>I get an 11
>Thief gets away
>Fat (literally his sheet listed his cleric as FAT) cleric rolls a 16 and gains on thief
>I fall behind
>I say wait a minute.....
>Dm says "Ya, I use the 3d6 for run checks, it shouldn't really interfere with your concept"
>Everyone made it to the sewers before me
>My final "check", I roll 3d6 and get 6.
>Dm says "You finally make it as everyone else is waiting on you in the sewer, you're out of breath and fatigued"

I rage quit.

>bar fight going on with an half orc and a tabaxi
>4/1 odds on drunken orc, 1.5/1 odds on tabaxi
>bet 50 gold on the orc and then uses rallying cry to heal him
>DM describes it
>the tabaxi wraps his legs around the orc and starts scratching his face, the orc tries to force him off him but fails, suddenly you let off a wahh to encorage him and a white glowing light surrounds you and the orc
wtf rallying cry isn't magic, why would we glow?
>yes it is magic
then why is it based on my character level and not on int, charisma or wisdom? the discription says you inspire your allies to fight on past their injuries.
>it's magic, you can't heal people by shouting
i don't think it's really healing people just encouraging to take a few more blows, I'm only going to heal him for 6 hp
>calls DM's law and I get thrown out of the bar and they keep my money
>orc loses the fight anyway because the tabaxi was a new NPC
>the orc with his renewed strength forces the tabaxi of and charges at him
>the tabaxi dodges out of the way and trips him up
>the orc fall is knocked out
>BUT THEN OPENS HIS EYES AND LETS OUT A WAHH
>the tabaxi pulls him up and headbutts him back to sleep
>try to break in to the bar but I get caught without having to make a stealth roll and have to wait while the other characters (who can't RP for shit) to read though there notes and ask the person we came to the bar for questions
>hostage we had at the time escapes during the chaos and the DM blames me

man this "you can't influence anything that happens in the story" system is really fun.

What a cunt

>DM says this game setting will be in the middle of an Elven forest, where everyone lives in trees
>We're all going to be elfags? NO, says the DM, just realize that the elves will look down on you if you're not an elf.
>I make an elf fighter, specializing in bows, because it was the least gay thing I could come up with
>I put down "doesn't hate humans, but thinks dwarves are a pain"
>DM reads it and smirks
>Every NPC in the game hated my character
>Every NPC shopkeeper knew me, and hated me and called me a "human loving piece of shit"
>Had to pay DOUBLE price for a backpack, because I was a human lover
>Everyone had a home in the trees, except me
>I had a piece of canvas weighted down with rocks that I slept under, because the Elven Elders knew about my love of human scum, and thus wouldn't allow me to live up in the "Holy Trees"
>I play on.......because why not
>second session, the guards show up and take my weapons
>Because " Human lovers can't be trusted to be armed"
>I make a new bow (-3 attack penalty), and carry on
>I've not said a word about humans IC at all
>Meet a group of human "hunters" in the forest, and try to trade with them
>They tell me "Fuck off Elf scum" and shoot me.
>Wandering elven cleric finds me, the other PC's weren't there
>Elven cleric refuses to heal me, because "You deserve it because of your weird love of all things human"
>I don't go back for a third game.

Which one?
The player who made the snowflake? Or the DM that changes rules on a whim?

>Arrive in new world/country we thought was destroyed
>On the way to town, get into a sort of fight with the two DMPCs (npcs? eh..) and they split from us.
>We meet up with a merchant who gives us a ride and tells us about the Judgment
>Judgment is a semi annual holiday where all the criminals are thrown into a pit and forced to fight to the death.
>Oh, ok, so we're going to get arrested. We discuss this ooc in our private chat (dm doesn't mind tabletalk just to be clear.)
>We get to town, a merchant rips us off
>A guy bumps into me and tries to start shit, but my pc is really calm guy so I just apologize and move on
>A little girl is running a shop, clearly we could steal but we pay and when she gives wrong change I politely correct her
>We're not really murderhobos so we don't start any trouble anyway
>cultist attacks us, we try to escape but are magically prevented from doing so
>Kill him, get out of there
>Get to the docks to try to find a boat to where we're going
>It's early evening, still light out, docks have two guards patrolling and not many people
>We lay low as we cross to where the boats are, hoping to find someone to book passage with
>'roll stealth'
>I roll well, monk rolls well, bard rolls an 11. (pic related)
>'you trip on a fish, it hits the guard in the face'
>guard is immediately agitated and starts giving the bard trouble, asking where he's been
>bard explains what actually happened
>'who's.. WE?' (he hasn't noticed us)
>bard gives a perfectly reasonable explanation and rolls a 17 on his deception(??) check
>the word 'cult' sets the guard off, as this world is very suspicious of cults apparently, and he cuffs the bard(no check) and drags him off
>after they leave back towards the fight scene, I ask the other guard some questions
>find out that the ferry leaves for judgment tomorrow, and our destination is on the way
>'you're not going there though-... judgment is MANDATORY'

to be continued..

A character with a mundane skill like "runs well" is a snowflake?

>>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal and socially tolerated in the region

The dm. A running centric fighter is kind of retarded but I mean it could work. Changing mechanics without telling your players beforehand is kind of shitty, but doing so in a way that guts one of your characters concepts is a dick move

>I explain we will totally go to judgment, just wanted to see that city
>he's very suspicious. 'WE?'
>'my friends and I.' I'm just one person so apparently 'we' is suspicious.
>he sees the monk's pet giant lizard
>'look out, a monster!' cries the guard, blowing his whistle without any chance for me to stop him or explain
>i try to bluff/explain
>no check
>he's going to charge the lizard, I get a strength check (I'm a mage, so I fail)
>monk gets a good initiative roll to intercept the charge, so he sam fishers the guard down
>other guard ties bard to a post and comes back, hearing the whistle
>two more guards arrive as well
>we try to rp, try to threaten the hostage guard, try everything but no checks no way out- they're killing the lizard or fighting us
>bard gets loose and comes back, I say 'I go over to the bard'
>I get nabbed, no check
>'they were standing in a perimeter around the end of the dock you're on'
>monk kills the unconscious guard
>fight
>they have a special move to cuff us, cuffs remove all magic (even our 'chosen one' elemental bending powers we alone have)
>I'm the water chosenone, but he says the dock isn't above the water
>lizard is smacked off dock, into the water
>monk jumps in
>monk gets knocked out, lizard is keeping him afloat
>lizard dies
>we get arrested
>no chance of escape, time skip to judgment
>dmpc saves us
>they're vampires now

>A running centric fighter is kind of retarded but I mean it could work.

I'd just watched a documentary on the guy who ran the 25 miles from Marathon to Athens...

I thought a fast, lightly armored dude sounded fun.

What's the name of the documentary?

Please tell me you dropped that game?

Battle of Marathon? I think.

History channel a couple years ago.

>The player who made the snowflake

It wasn't snowflakey user.

Ah fuck that, yank documentaries are shit
>WILL RANDY GET TO ATHENS ON TIME
>DUNDUNDUN
>'oh mah gahd'
>*gunshot sounds*
>JOIN US AFTER THE BREAK

>people having shit experiences playing online

They're tabletop games for a reason

>Ah fuck that, yank documentaries are shit

I'm not going to argue that, as I don't really have a good response.

Ya, a lot of HC's stuff is shit. But it beats watching anime.

Anything beats watching anime

Good joke friendo

We're still playing, it's a really fun game but God damn sometimes this dm. It's his first game and he just makes these huge glaring mistakes and doesn't know why we're all grimacing. Still sometimes he's great, so what are ya gonna do..

Tbh I don't even mind the one dmpc, since we're only 3 players. Two is dumb as fuck.

The monk actually refused to leave judgment saying he had to fight, so we all left him. He said he would stay and probably kill his character, so I spent the day mediating by the river right against the edge of the arena and had fire chick cut the wall with her fire daggers enough to weaken it. Dm actually came up with a fair but very challenging series of rolls to bust down the wall and drown the entire arena(95% of population of country) bit by bit. It was like every good roll was % progress... And I just destroyed the roll every time. I took some damage and passed out after but it was fucking great, killed like 30k people because he actually made it possible to complete...

It's bad dming to let me go that murder hobo, but they killed Votig, dammit. And Chompy. I feel pretty good about the outcome.

I have 500 channels on cable
>200 are anime/cartoons/kids shows
>200 are home shopping and ads
>50 are news and religious
>25 are sports
>10 are crime stories
>the rest I watch sometimes.

>a weird edgy wizard who practiced "the forbidden arts of necromancy", despite being told that necromancy was actually legal

This is funny as shit.

In the hands of someone less dumb it could be a fun concept

What the hell kind of games are you playing where "Courier" is a special snowflake concept?

Any fighter concept that isn't a 2handed fighter, is a snowflake?

I dunno man....i just don't understand people sometimes.

Honestly I think that's a little lame unless the dm had a real reason for it being ok. I'm playing a blood mage in my game and the dm sort of said 7 months in there's no stigma against it... When I kind of expected a little back lash or something? Not trying to be edgy just.. Idk, it seemed like it might come up but apparently it's totally fine, and I feel like that should have been discussed since the default for blood magic is forbidden art etc. We even happened to visit a huge religious library and go into the restricted area so I was like 'I want to take a rare magic book' When we were fleeing and it was on fire, specifically blood arcana since we were about to level up and I was about to take the prestige class and wanted it to make sense. But then months later after the previously mentioned monk judgment death, the player makes a paladin and decides to ask if she'd mind... Dm says nah nobody really knows what it is, whatever. Player conflict is fine, have her try to 'save' me from corrupting l corruption! That sounds way more interesting. I drowned a guy with his friend's blood and nobody cares..

>snowflake
I bet you're the sort of guy who gets mad If someone plays anything other than a brown haired white guy fighter with three words or less of background

My phone went wild at the end.

Here's a drawing of Votig and Chompy driving the wagon...

It triggers me a bit, yes.

>but he says the dock isn't above the water
>lizard is smacked off dock, into the water

wut?

Yes.

He knew going in that the region didn't really care too much about necromancy. Even told him why ( . They had a strong history of summoning ancestors for guidance and reanimating the dead to serve the living, so so long as you're not enslaving the blessed ancestors and using the dead for good purposes you're good. If you're not an asshole, being a Ghule-caller is actually a fairly respected position) and what sorts of magic were forbidden if he still wanted to do the whole persecuted mage thing (incidentally blood magic was on that list).

He still decided to be just a dude with a skeleton friend and act like he's doing something shady

lol

That's what I was thinking.

It's like
>There's no water down there
>jump down
>You drown

I meant that the idea of someone trying to play straight a 'evil necromancer practicing the secret dark arts' in a setting where necromancy is normal.

It's amusing.

Lol he could always make it weird I guess

>>Every NPC in the game hated my character
>>Every NPC shopkeeper knew me, and hated me

This shit is the worst.

>I was going to be a long distance messenger type who focused more on getting the message there more than smiting demons
That's creative really, for most ttrpgs

That's what I meant. Just skulking around acting nefarious, but he's actually doing something completely legal that no one cares about

>I make a cookie shaped like a cell phone
>I drive up and down the street holding the cookie to my ear
>I wait for the cops to stop me for using a cell while driving
>hahahahaha

system?

I'm sorry user

autism.com/understanding_theoryofmind

>>DM said to keep the sup books limited
Sounds like 3.5 or pf.

Those are usually the big offenders when someone says supplement books.

>DM is named Matthew

I just don't understand

Imo the "can't actually necromance" is fun as well.

I once played with this guy who was all around terrible.

>All his characters were wacky in a way that got in the way of the party, such as a pixie who would play tricks on and steal things from the characters instead of helping
>Was concerned with becoming more powerful than the party, often going off on his own or attempting suicidal actions to try and become powerful
>Usually played sexy female characters, and expected this would give ridiculous RP bonuses
>Had no survival instinct whatsoever and then get mad when his characters died
>Would sometimes decide his character is boring and try to get them killed off
>Defended all this by saying 'it's just a game'

His antics usually came out of nowhere so context won't help much. But some highlights

>At the approach of a hostile army, stripped off his (attractive female character's) clothes and attempted to seduce them into submission. Was genuinely confused by why this didn't do anything.
>Volunteered to be sacrificed by a cult to become the vessel for a lich trapped in the abyss because he thought this would grant him magical powers.
>Drank from a fountain of boiling blood in the abyss. When this harmed him severely, drank from the fountain again. He died.
>Ran off into the woods to grind monsters alone for like a real-world hour
>Forgot to name his monk, so paniced and proclaimed her name was "Ada Wong"

3.5 has no running skill though.

Running was an increasing Constitution check after a certain number of rounds.

There were also feats that allowed to to run full tilt while changing directions, increase running speed, increase base speed, etc.

So it wasn't quite a skill, but had a sort of subsystem

PF has an athletic skill, doesn't it?

>Cops get you anyway because it's illegal to eat while driving.
>Get beat up when you tell them "I wasn't actually eating it!".

>they're vampires now
and i thought the lizard dying was the peak of the story

Sounds like pf or 3.5 then.

>There were also feats that allowed to to run full tilt while changing directions, increase running speed, increase base speed, etc.
>So it wasn't quite a skill, but had a sort of subsystem

I'm not familiar with that system. Can you give me a few examples of what you mean?

Like you have to take (x) feat to turn directions while running?

I was picturing the poster had meant that he was a long distance runner. Does 3.5 allow that somehow?

And what "feats" support Running?

How would you build a "marathon runner", in a game with wizards and Conans?

This is sorta interesting. Like the Empire's messenger in skyrim or something.

dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Run_(Feat)

Um...not a 3.5 player, but I can see how that's handy.

My current GM seems to only want to fanfic his wanky story about the planes and making it sp00ky. Don't do dungeons or anything - just walk from one boss fight to another with a very small scripted walking sequence linking them together. No trash mobs, no traps, no minibosses - just one fuck off astral bollock, that only magic can kill effectively, over and over game.

It's getting really shit.

Woah.

>have a DM named matthew once
>he makes a DMPC rogue just to kill the party rogue because "his build was awful"

It's shit. You barely run at all instead of charging, and a barbarian who has a +10 feet bonus will be faster than you with no run feat than a sorcerer with the run feat.

I found this out after a critical fail and shooting the barbarian in the butt with my crossbow. He responded poorly.

I also found out how rubbish the run feat was.

Human lv 1 fighter...

Run, Greater endurance, and maybe dodge.

Never played it, but the way it's worded, it sounds handy.

How often do "running" type checks occur? Is this like an every single game thing?

I'd think just running wouldn't require a skill check, but if it did, someone with a RUN specific feat, would be faster than someone without it?

Or am I totally off base?

That would make sense, but unfortunately this is 3.PF we're talking about.

Honest, serious advice: if you're not interested yourself, get out. The chances that it will be fun for both you and the group are very slim. More likely, it'll feel like a waste of time.

I've run the secret spy before, and everyone knew out of character that I was meeting with the villain. They played like they didn't know, and it was a good time.

I'm guessing the fact that he outed you means this one isn't going to go so well... then again, I'm guessing the fact that he outed you ALSO means he'd have hard feelings afterwards. Sucks, man.

>Get shot to improve the gene pool and for wasting time.
>"He was resisting arrest".

This is the most weeaboo I've seen in a long time.

Hoo boy, story time:

>invited to second campaign of an existing group, DM is kinda autistic but my friend vouches for him
>pathfinder, roll a ranger bounty hunter joining the party
>dm tells me we'll be in orc territory so I set favoured enemy as orcs, have a good strong build
>RP'ing Ronin/Man with no name style
>we get going fairly quickly, combat starts soon enough and I pwn a bunch of orcs
>Get drunk with half Orc fighter and Human Wizard
>fight almost over so I go eat food for an hour
>We wake up to discover that the Orc has a key on a chain around his neck
>get back
>"excuse me stout adventures but my house is really spooky and I left an important hat that use to belong to my uncle, could you go get it for me?"
>we're in a city talking to some npc
>We say fuck no. We asked if there was any kind of threat and he just kept saying "no just spooky and Im too scared to go back in" so I failed to see why my PC should help out this guy whos just being a wuss. Besides Key is far more interesting.
>we spend the next THREE HOURS talking to his stupid fucking npc's
>DM gets really angry with me
>Back into game, DM tells us that someone stole the key when we weren't paying attention.
>doesn't even give us directions, just lets us "do what we want"
>No matter what check we use we cant identify who took it.
>session ends with literally no more combat
>Look DM in the eye "You really want us to go get that hat dont you?"

It just seems plain retarded to me.

I had a GM who did that shot nonstop. Killed me with 60 feet of falling damage right after specifying i could not fly more than 10 feet up.

>Playing a game called SLA Industries
>Think Cyberpunk after cyberware has gone out of fashion, them mix it up with Call of Cthulhu, Hobo With A Shotgun and the original Rollerball movie.
>Stat up a combat character, the slightly unhinged product of a private 'reform school'.
>It was really just a front for a slave trading group.
>Character happens to be female.
>GM looks over the backstory, grinning.
>"So she was raped in there, right?"
>No. Just no.
>"Aww, c'mon user."
>Spends a fucking hour trying to convince me to write rape into my character's backstory.
>Not doing it.

Sure, it's theoretically possible to have rape without it being either cringingly awkward or completely underplayed, but I don't trust anyone to actually get it right, least of all this guy.

>have an opening I'm the group since one of the long time players had to leave for work
>put out an add
>younger guy shows up
>three sessions in everything is going great, but then he starts getting into politics
>take him aside after the session and tell him there is no out of character politics at the table, it's best for the group
>he agrees reluctantly
>four more sessions go by without politics
>everything is seemingly going great
>starts going ham at the table about politics, getting angry and yelling at one point
>tell him off, give him last warning
>doesn't show the next session
>he got arrested throwing a brick at a cop

Dare I ask the race of that guy? You know what, dont even answer.

these two need their DMing licence revoked

East Asian, but I'm not sure which nationality.
Other then being a bit political here and there he seemed like a normal guy, we just didn't want any politics at the group outside of mundane municipal stuff like the bridge being built or in game stuff.

>tfw you realize your DM is masturbating to your character.

youtube.com/watch?v=EMZponXbUj0

Reverse awkward boner bait. Should of had her be the dyke rapist

Yea, right after leaving them that night we were camped out and this pointy eared pale woman approaches and talks to us. I've got a quest in this country so I start questioning her but she's weird, Dwarf warns us because he's the voice of reason, bard tries to hit on her. Lizard is like.. looking the direction the girls went and the vampire asks why he's looking that way, I'm like "because [dmpc] went that way, so where's this wellspring.." etc. She answers all my questions then goes to leave but I try to stop her and she slices my hand and licks the blood and hops on her wagon and leaves in the direction of the girls. So, later of course we meet up with them and almost jokingly I'm trying to find out if they got bit by vampires. Cue a fucking weird cutscene where they ARE vampires, and they're mad at us because it's our fault for telling her where they were. Yea.

sigh.. anyway we cured them and he sort of forgot to care about it and never made it relevant and that vampire chick never showed up again. We were expecting her to show up and maybe mind control the girls and we'd get a cool fight where we would try to not hurt them etc? Would have been neat. But as we say, "what happened instead?" "Nothing happened instead." No random encounters... nothing! Not even snow in the frozen north! Very disappointing.

pic related- sharpie on scrap paper, depiction of vampire lady stabbing my goddamned hand

Don't listen to him, keep playing and convince them you gave up on the idea since it's spoiled. Get them to trust you and treat you as a real party member and just win them over, play it straight and even tell the dm this is the truth. You're just playing dnd now.

Then you fucking betray them!

I've spent the last few months thinking more and more that my GM and the other players were shitty, but... the last few weeks of malaise have got me thinking they're not necessarily bad, just not for me.

Everything in this campaign is irreverently "wacky." The GM doesn't just do accents, he intentionally does the most over-the top, silly voices he can. The gnomes all talk like Christopher Walken. The main bad guy is a talking Russian-accented bear named "Vlodimir Ootin." He wears an ushanka rules the world. We're traveling with a princess that turns into a badger when she hiccups. The fighter's sword sings "you spin me right round" when the attacks. We're on a quest to fight the talking Russian bear's general, who is not!Ronald Macdonald and runs a fast food chain that makes people explode from fatness.

Every week, this is the game. Everyone it. The gm's laughing, the players are laughing, and everyone but me is having a wonderful time.

I'm the odd man out, though. The GM, his wife, our buddies, they're all having a wonderful time with this random wacky bullshit, laughing their asses off whenever the Christopher Walken gnomes come out, and I would be rude to tell these guys who are all my closest friends in the world that their sense of humor is shit and they need to tone the thing they love back a bit.

But on the same hand, goddamn, I wish I could bring myself to enjoy this game. Ive known most of these guys since high school, and I wish I could enjoy the game they run.

It's just, really fucking dumb. I'm pretending to laugh, but I'm not laughing on the inside.

Right, so basically you have two relevant things here: Hustle and Run. Hustle is endurance running, you can run at twice your speed for an hour. Run is used in-combat, and is good for getting away from enemies.

You can Run for your Constitution score in Rounds before making a DC 10 Constitution (not Fortitude) check to continue running for a round. This roll can be increased by 4 with Endurance, and the DC increases by 1 each round after.

Hustle can be used once a day with no issues, but a second time would make you fatigued and incur 1 point of nonlethal damage, multiplying by two for each hour. So 0, 1, 2, 4, 8, etc.

Opposed chases are Dex vs Dex for quick chases, or Con vs Con for long 'endurance' races. It doesn't say if Endurance applies to the latter, but it presumably would. Also, if one character if faster than the other they automatically win so increasing base speed is paramount (But it's hard to boost that without magic.)

If we assume our human fighter has 18 Con (being an endurance runner and all,) they begin with 14 HP and can Hustle for 4 hours over 24 miles and be left with 7 HP, and can March another 8-10 hours before sleeping.

Now... feats. Assuming 3.5.

Your major choices are Run, Fleet of Foot, and Endurance

Run allows you to retain your Dexterity bonus to AC, increases your Run speed to 5x base from 4x base, and gives a +4 Jump bonus. This means you can run 150 feet in a turn.

Fleet of Foot is from Complete Warrior, and allows you to run or charge while turning up to 90 degrees. This is actually really good because it turns a useless gimick into a semi-useful gimmick: Charging is one of the biggest damage dealers in 3.5 if you spec into it, and this allows you to charge around enemies or obstacles.

And Endurance gives a +4 to various checks.

You can also get a Swift trait, which boosts movement speed by 10 and decreases HP by 1 a level. But Traits are a variant rule.
So with a Human Fighter, I'd go 18 Con/15 Dex with Run and Fleet of Foot. Then I'd use the Fighter feats to specialize in either Charging or Ranged Combat.

Mechanically, Barbarians or Scouts (a rogue variant) are probably more suitable for speed but this has potential. Fighters have lots of feats to spec into charging or ranged combat, and can use tower shields to make someone who should be very survivable (if... Kind of hard to place in a balanced party)

Fuck you buddy

>he doesn't have a Dungeon Matthew

Thanks user.

I think I'm following you.
My big question is, in what way would that be helpful to the group? Running to get help?

Sounds like Vvardenfell

You're more useful for transferable skills

The actual ability to run between towns isn't very useful most of the time. Probably only to run back to town for supplies, scout ahead and flee if needed, chase down people, etc.

On the other hand, being mobile and being able to out-run opponents or get somewhere quickly is very useful in a meat-shield or archer. You'll be good at charging, and have lots of HP, and other useful fighter things.

no fak u

>not Dungeon Mattster

You're that guy user, not because you play horribly but simply because you don't get it/don't manage to enjoy it

That Guy is the guy who causes problems/ruins the fun for everyone.

Simply having no fun does not make someone That Guy.

>Simply having no fun does not make someone That Guy.

He'd best start having fun RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Or I'll find him. Maybe not today, but soon....

...

lol

Smoke weed.

>that whole fucking thing
wew

I would have bailed immediately when I found out the DM didn't know what magic was, even aside the railroading.

Clearly the right move here is to just play straight. They'll be expecting you to turn traitor at every step.

Bonus points for rigging up misunderstandings with the DM. You know, like Flanders 'murdering his wife' level stuff.