Would you take this wizard into your party?

>"I memorize my spells, I'm an amazing wizard"
>shithead take a whole fucking night just to prepare fireball because they can't find out where they wrote it down and were too stupid to make a table of contents for their spellbook

can I replace my party's wizard with this wizard?

It's a shame that means you won't be able to play in any games.

Will you take THIS wizard into your party?

No, he's old and grey.
I also can't use him as a sacrifice.

>no spellbook
>heavy smoker
>creeps on halflings
>caustic attitude
>can't decide right direction for shit

Now what? Am I supposed to take illegal rapefugees from Cimmeria or something?

I would take her instead.

He's like level two or three and barely uses anything but cantrips.

So I guess he might be a good fit for a low level party, but ehh.

>muh snowflake "minor god incarnated as a human" backstory

No.

...

This one I'd let in.

He can take care of the camp and help relieve my stress after a hard day adventuring and I need a place to sheath my sword if you know what I mean.

...

>dem heels

This shit triggers my autism more than anything, actually.

You know as well as me that this means plot armor if they fail a save roll and they are supposed to die. No deal.

>Dedicated
>Knows how to maximize spells
>Can function even in badly shitty parties
>Hobbies are innocent, like loving cats

Hired!

Those are really low and wide heels. They're nothing.

Now would you take a wizard who wore THESE heels into your party?

How did everyone know that was supposed to be male

Genuinely assumed it was a girl

At this point our group kicks out anyone who tries to start as an elf. Sure we're also losing some good players this way but the cancer we've avoided has easily justified this.

>my point was serious actually. I can deal with some cheesecake, even pretty bad in some cases, but shit that minimizes movement in dungeons, I can't stand it.

Honestly I wouldn't have it even if the campaign was The Devil Wears Prada. Shit looks retarded.

how new?

I'm not gay so I don't like that.

It's either a boy or a girl smuggling an egg in her panties.

You must be wearing shoes to adventure in this party.

>shoes

>halflings presumably allowed

those heels are alright. Good for stomping shit.

> even if the campaign was The Devil Wears Prada

Is this a modern day campaign about fashion magazines or a medieval fantasy campaign where the literal devil is trying to take over the world by controlling fashion?

Those may not make much practical sense for a wizard, but then again since when to wizards care about practicality?

Furthermore, you can run around just fine in stilettos, even on rough terrain, if you aren't a clumsy oaf. I (male) can do it and my ex (female) could do it too. If you're on snow or sand that would be a problem, of course, but with heels that wide it wouldn't be an issue unless wearing regular shoes would also be an issue regardless.

Also a potential argument even for a wizard to wear heels (it makes more sense with a warrior or archer no matter the situation, as it gives them additional height which is almost always advantageous) is for riding horses. The reason high heels were first invented was so that (mostly male) cavalry could safely stand up in stirrups, greatly increasing what they were capable of while riding a moving horse.

people who get triggered by active characters wearing heels trigger my autism desu

I was thinking the former but the latter sounds cooler, considering how much pre-1789 society bitched about clothing and sumptuary laws.

We're talking dungeons here.
Can stand the druid going barefoot, not this.

Unless it's Exalted or something and coolness makes power.

>yes, I can stand the suspenders way more

In dungeons heels aren't going to be an issue unless you're routinely bumping your head on doorways. Fuck, in dungeons the floors are probably going to be stone so there's even less problem walking or running around in heels, and there may be puddles and shit that you'd want your feet out of regardless so your shoes don't fill with fluid, so heels could even be argued as more practical than flats in that case.

Of course going barefoot you can switch between walking digitigrade and plantigrade as the situation demands, and there's potential magical arguments that might be made depending on the setting (being more connected with the earth or something, idk), so there's nothing wrong with that either apart from lacking padding on the soles of your feet in case you step on something.

Dude, floors in ruins are worse than your average mountain trail.

Use some real boots.

It's also basically the plot of Kill La Kill.

>heels
>practical
No

I didn't say halflings were allowed. This rule may even have been implemented specifically to discriminate against halflings.

But halflings are best race.

would bakuretsu with

Shitty clothes - will waste spells on Endure Elements.
No equipment - doesn't look even an amateur adventurer, more like some shithead, will either waste spells again or go hungry
Spellbook - keeps it in the open where anyone can cut or burn it

Overall a clear case of retard wizard with 6 in Wisdom. Should be locked for its own good.

>But halflings are worst race.
ftfy

>US Aircraft
>Clearly a Mi-24

You know, high heels were originally invented for men to wear.

Specifically, slaughterhouse workers, because they would otherwise be standing ankle deep in blood and gore all day.

Shhh
It's part of a false flag operation. I read about them in FM 2-22.3

There is a decided difference between the heel on a boot, and the heels women wear.

The origin of an object only has so much influence on how it is used.

Try wearing these even on the street, user, and walk half a mile.

>not smuggling eggs in your panties under the guise of being a trap

The laws of skimpy armor mark the wizard as pretty darn strong. I'd take.

Surprises exist everywhere.

They look more like a druid but whatever. After what happened to the last caster I'm just thankful anyone with magical prowess will volunteer.

Image unfortunately related...

Did he at least get that clownpussi?

>Liking traps
>Gay
u wot m8

Alternatively
>2017
>Not gay

Druids don't carry books.

Are reverse traps too magical realm for standard lewd-free games? I'm not sure it qualifies as a fetish.

>Specifically, slaughterhouse workers, because they would otherwise be standing ankle deep in blood and gore all day.
They were cavalry shoes, you dump truck.

I'm playing one in my campaign

my group found out I'm a male (female) like 8 sessions in

Yes. Gimme!

That's some serious case of Jazz hands

Everything qualifies as a fetish if you think about it too hard, but "woman disguises as man" is a common enough character concept that you'll have no issue citing inspiration, fantastical or historical. Unless your setting is some anachronistic hipster's Utopian wet dreams where literally no part of the setting has gender roles/discrimination that would inspire someone to do this

>This shit triggers my autism more than anything, actually.
She's a caster and most of her adventures involve going down into a single tower. High heels aren't THAT limiting to her, especially such low and wide ones.

What's limiting is that she's the main character in an anime that should be about Aiz.

I'm not into weebshit, if that's like a character everyone is familiar with...

I don't see why not

Dude, its storytime.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antler
>In most species, only the male grows antlers with the exception of Caribou

>fantasy campaign where the literal devil is trying to take over the world by controlling fashion?

Wasn't this essentially the plot of kill la kill?

It was, but it would be interesting to see a male devil try to pull it off.

Like, the best kind of prissy gay stereotype would be hilarious.

...

That's not a wizard. Doesn't even have a beard.

Heels were cavalry shoes ya dingus
The heel kept your feet hooked onto the stirrup.

What about this wizard?

Nope. He was torn limb from limb and devoured. Demons have a strange sense of humour,

I just assumed an extra puffy vulva.

Yes because unlike these people:
I do not pathologically hate fun.

I dont mind chicks at the table playing dudes.
I dont mint dudes playing chicks.
And I dont mind both playing highly effeminate males or masculine Amazons.

Who gives a shit as long as dont suck at role playing and fit in with the rest of the players?

This makes me wonder, how would one justify a campaign featuring an all-trap party?

Would anyone here play in it?

Can I play the Bear-trap?

Rolling Boulder Trap here

Pit Trap reporting in

Can I play a dungeon?

>I do not pathologically hate fun.
>having fun with special snowflakes
Take your pic advice. But then you are probably one of them too, so enjoy your magical realm.

>Playing with chicks
>Fun

Yeah right.

The best tabletop group I had was 3 girls 3 guys.

Only one of the girls made it awkward and even that wasn't as bad as some of the guys I've played with.

Good for you, my experiences have been either bad for the players or bad for the girls.

If the girl is ugly, everyone treats her like shit.
If the girls is someones gf everyone is angry cuz they can´t treat her like shit because she is a gf.
if she is cute everyone treats her like one of the guys until she fucks one of the guys and then the other 3 treat her like shit and sometimes the guy that fucked her too.

The only one happy about bringing a girl to the table is the guy that usually receives most of the aggression when there are no girls around.

At this point I kinda owe it to anyone who wants to play something like that because of the time I did and it got out of hand quickly.

All I wanted to do was play an effeminate and fabulous witch, basically Bayonetta with a Y chromosome, and throughout the natural course of the game he steadily morphed into something that'd make Bayonetta blush. All while bitchslapping gods and being basically a natural disaster in a frilly dress whenever anyone pissed him off.

I swear I didn't intend for it to turn out like that when I made the character...

I would allow only if you promised that you have the skill to have the other players get aroused with your trap.

However unless you can make a cute voice it´d be kinda hard to pull off, i for example have a really deep voice and as a DM one of the hardest things for me it to voice convincing cute feminine girl/girl(male) NPCs.

Yeah, I don't think my fellow players were really into murderous trap witches. The best example of the sort of character I can give is probably Yoichi from Drifters. Cute as fuck but goddamn terrifying.

Did have one character peek up his skirt before they'd really been introduced and gender had been brought up.

...

Kobolds.

Kobolds love traps.

Aaaand just like that I will now assume that the most effeminate male kobolds naturally gravitate towards positions of power. Pretty femmy little dragons on their pretty little thrones guarded by legions of other traps (the kinds with spikes and arrows coated in various nasty poisons)

I reverse-searched it and its tagged as a girl on danbooru.

I need sauce of this fluid druid.

Yes, he looks badass

You're new, bub