Femme Fatales and Catburglers

Bard Monk Multiclass. got it.

You know exactly what I mean Moenblyss you fucking weirdo. Post the other 50 fucking drawings of your disgusting muscle"girl" thief you've probably had done this week.

I just came here for girls with thick thighs and big tits.

...

...

You know it's true with his art!

I legitimatly have no fucking idea what you're talking about. I picked this up from Blaz's page at least a month ago. and i didn't commission it. I don't even know who Moenblyss is.

Chill out man, you're gonna hurt yourself

...

A FFXIV roleplay character on the most cancerous of RP servers, from a cursory glance.

Also, this guy's got an expansion fetish all over his DA. The art you posted is cute, though.

...

...

...

"sneaky" and "dexfags" are not words that fit well with some of these artists' apparently very strong interest in riding that "let's normalize obesity" train

like come on did they really have high fructose corn syrup and Taco Bell in Middle Earth, and is it really possible to become an expert archer when your upper arms are small and your breasts are bigger than your head

also is it really feasible to become obese when your mouth is just a dot like do you have to suckle all your nutrition out from the narrow fluted blossom of some magical calorie flower or what

>when the post is more autistic than the picture it attempts to criticize

...

...

Im running out

cute.

>"post stealth characters"
>pic included is GIANT ASS MCTHICC

...

If you don't know who that is, then you can probably still tell she'd be a terrible sneak thief with that body.

All right, but how'd she get so fat? How much is she eating and how little exercise does she get from all the adventuring? Walking around at the very least should burn a lot of calories.

He's right, though.

If you're going to post anyone remotely sneaky, remotely fitting to the moniker "cat burglar", don't post hambeasts.

...

It's thicc, not hambeasts.

Same difference. Cat burglars are small, lithe, and wiry. Hambeasts (or "thicc") can't pull themselves up ropes, fit through windows, or handle lockpicks with their short stubby fingers.

>implying thicc isn't just an excuse fat fetishists use

why would she even need a gun that size?

I don't understand the question.

why would a being that size, with the strength that entails, need a weapon made specifically for their proportions. it seems like a waste of resources

I'd say the gun, and its size, would be the very least implausible and the very least stupid thing in that picture.

Just let it be. The answer is going to be "MAGIC!" either way.

>"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT IT'S FANTASY! ANYTHING GOES THERE!"

>why would she even need a gun that size?
To 360noscope other giants obviously.

Even bigger and stronger beings that need weapons that big to kill them.

>Cat burglars are small, lithe, and wiry
You don't have your first dot of larceny yet, do you?

OP asked for sneaky, dexfags, or skill monkeys.
How that turned into second story man in your mind must be some special acrobatics.

...

Probably to hunt and kill the gigantic creatures that plague the wastes of the world, the ones that inevitably approach civilized areas she protects. Perhaps conventional weapons are of no use, hence the massive rifle.

Or just accept that fantasy generally makes no goddamn sense, and just enjoy the pic for what its worth.

You wanted femme fatales?

dude it's fantasy lamo

Funny thing about femme fatales, is that today people associate the term with deadly, martial arts-kinda talented assassins, honeytrap spies and female fighters, when orginally a femme fatale simply meant a woman who could not, or WOULD not have children to man.

If a man ever married such a sterile woman, a woman incabable or unwilling to give him children, it would be the end of his legacy, as he could only resort to producing bastards which are not however seen as legitimite genetic offspring traditionally.

Henche she would be a ''fatal woman'', or femme fatale.

Well it's come a long way. In fiction, it's used to refer to dangerous girls at least since the 1880s.

Being trapped in a situation where one cannot ever have any inheritors to further your line sounds a bit dangerous to contemporary 19th century gentlemen

>It's fantasy dude lmao just role with it

No. Make your own thread on /d/ you disgusting fat fetishists. Or fuck off to /pfg/, though even they won't want you I think.

It's almost like words change meaning as we go. When have you last used awesome in it's original meaning?

>OP asked for sneaky, dexfags, or skill monkeys.

Same difference. Try being sneaky with all that extra weight. Or, if you somehow manage, try being sneaky without -losing- all that extra weight.

samefaggin'

>an expert archer when your upper arms are small
Most of the strength needed to draw a bow comes from the muscles of your upper back. If you are using your arms, you're doing it wrong.

Though I do agree with you that visually that isn't what I picture when I think Archer or Thief. However that is an elf so the realism train has already left the station.

Cute!

Sneakiest bastard I ever met was a 6' 6" hulk of a man who weighed 320 pounds.

The man was lighter on his feet and could move more quietly than anyone I've ever met before or since. Apparently Ranger training sticks.

>However that is an elf so the realism train has already left the station.

The two are not on the same line. Elves can be easily added to the world without it breaking our suspension of disbelief, because we don't have elves in real world and aren't sure how they work. But we do have fat people, and more often than not all that bulk would get in the way of adventuring, and also be quite quickly lost by all the exercise.

You can't just shout "BUT IT'S MAGIC!" to justify that.

What's the story behind this picture?

>Smol Fairy chilling on the rogue's dueling sword.
>Another day, another chance to help your human husbando win a fight by knocking the weapon out of his opponents hand by-way of frequency manipulation.

>When have you last used awesome

I haven't, I'm a non-english speaker

Are those trees in the foreground? How big is she?

God, imagine the boob-jiggle when she fires that thing!

Quit bumping your fetish shit, samefag.

I'm not the same user as the first two.

I'm also not usually into macro stuff, but god damn! Why can't real women have proportions like that!?

That gun is literally bigger than the largest gun humans ever made. The shockwaves firing it would produce would probably flatten that forest.

It's by the same guy who did these but I don't think it's part of a series.

>I'm not the same user as the first two.

Fine. Don't bump it anyway.

Oh, okay.

If you insist.

...

>also is it really feasible to become obese when your mouth is just a dot like do you have to suckle all your nutrition out from the narrow fluted blossom of some magical calorie flower or what
i lol'd

>we don't have elves in real world and aren't sure how they work.
Exactly. Maybe that bulk on an elf is entirely different than fat. Elves might be made of a squishy muscle.

I'm not pro-fat, in the sense of those "healthy at any size" morons, that shit might as well be a death cult.

However.
>You can't just shout "BUT IT'S MAGIC!" to justify that.
Yeah actually we can, and you need to get over your narrow ass view of what make believe entails. Elves can be what ever the setting dictates. There is no such thing as "wrong" in that regard, there is however a point at which you can look at your GM and say "WTF, come on man".

...

OI

DAT AIN'T NO ORK

DIS ERE'S A SPY

It takes much more to imagine such a large bulk to move about anywhere with any grace, when you can see such hambeasts barely be able to get off their chairs in real life.

Maybe it doesn't break your suspension of disbelief, but it breaks mine.

And I can't imagine anyone even trying to seriously argue this without being either fat or having a fat fetish or both.

It's harder but it's not impossible.

Nah, there's a difference between fat and stout, and it's usually fairly easy to tell which one you have.

Stout is actually a pretty good trait for warriors, and doesn't make sneaking or acrobatics impossible. Fat kind of does, however.

>in real life.
Found you problem. You might want to consider that real life has no bearing on a fantasy setting.

>And I can't imagine
Yes, we know, you have proven that beyond any doubt already. Hey but admitting you have a problem is the first step to self-improvement.

>Found you problem. You might want to consider that real life has no bearing on a fantasy setting.
It does, though. You can't just throw real life away completely or else the players will have nothing to grasp in this strange and irrational fantasy land. Gigantic butterballs moving about like lithe acrobats is one just a thing.

>Hey but admitting you have a problem is the first step to self-improvement.
I have admitted to nothing.

OP pic looks stout.

Far too much in her hips and breasts, too little around waist.

>Fast fat people completely break suspension of disbelief!

Say that to fans of this guy (yes, they exist).

In the future, let's try to contain our autism.