/5eg/ - Fifth Edition General

not at all, they need more spells per day and some actual sorcerer only spells to compete with wizards.

What are the opinions on Touch of Ass?

whose ass are we talking about?

New player britbong looking for group.

I don't understand. Are you saying it's there but I haven't noticed? This trove is the most well made one I think.

>Lumping shit tier jobs in with jobs that actually benefit the community

Wew lad

Where abouts lad?

Give them what Lore Wizard gets, then delete Lore Wizard

What the fuck is wrong with you and how do you know so little about everything? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say American education. Am I on the money?

Hertfordshire or online. It's hard to find groups around here,

So my DM has gifted to me what is effectively SCP 662
scp-wiki.net/scp-662

A TLDR, I have a bell that can summon a butler to do tasks for me. Said butler seems to have average stats across the board, but can seemingly teleport anywhere that's not warded and retrieve items for me, and if he's killed he will respawn at the ring of the bell. What sort of nonsense can I get up to with this?

Do you exclusively play Halflings

Why are you falling for such obvious bait?

Why are you mad? Do you work in one of the not real people fields? You should just accept you've been dehumanized by your employers and no longer qualify as a person.

>doctors work like twice a week

Human all the way dude. or something monstrous if it fits and if I was comfortable with the group.

>says person commenting on a mexican sombrero billboard

Enworld's

Sorry lad, I'm in Newcastle

An issue has arisen I need help with Veeky Forums...

I am DMing a campaign that all the players in the group are really enjoying so far, so we are all having a blast. However - one of my friends recently acquired a girlfriend that is needy as fuck.

The other gf in the group is chill as hell and totally into the game, participating like crazy. She fucking loves the game.

This other chick doesn't play though, and that's fine. We invite her now and then to see if she wants to, but instead the following happens:

We are setting up to play, it's an intensive scenario where people are checking for traps, solving puzzles, talking to npcs...

And she starts poking at him and touching him. Then if he doesn't pay attention she tells him she wants something (like from the kitchen.) She then escalates to not even being able to open a drink without his help, or make a sandwhich - to asking him to play part of her game (like pokemon.) She basically acts as helpless as a child.

This isn't a huge factor on the group as everyone else is participating and he is but 1 of 4 others. It's still quite annoying though as he is the "tank" and is having trouble concentrating on the effort at hand. This is starting to irritate other people, and not just myself for retelling most the information 2-3 times in a row between her calls for attention.

I'm trying to be patient, I don't want to offend him or her, and I he even goes so far as to tell her to go do things herself. It doesn't stop though.

Is there anything I can do here Veeky Forums? Have you had experience with this?

pdf-archive.com/2017/05/06/cutebold/

You guys think this is an appropriate stat block for a cutebold? I wanted them to be as formidable as a regular kobold, but through their abilities as opposed to damage.

Some of you would hate playing in my game. Rolling for stats so everybody's stronger that standard at the start, homebrew everywhere and at level 10 I'm going to give the players the option of doing a quest for an ancient dragon and get a boon. An epic boon, at level 10.
By level 20 I want my party to be fighting whole groups of empyreans, and gods when they have geared up. I want the players to feel strong, I want the villains to be a threat to the whole world and I want the multiverse tremble as they duke it out.
The game is already breaking at the seams, but that's okay.
It's just a game.

Kill her

>I don't want to offend him or her

Get rid of this feeling and you'll be fine.

One day I'll be able to use all these Hobbit jokes

Looks like they put all their effort into Alchemist and Cardcaster. Werecreature is only 1 page ffs

>I don't want to offend him or her
Alright, here's a conversation tutorial for you

Instead of
>"Mike you piece of shit your bitch is ruining the game"

You say
>"Hey Mike, listen, I get that you found a girl that makes you happy, but she's bringing the game down when she's here. She obviously isn't having fun so she turns to you, the only one here she knows in any capacity. As a result you get less involved and the entire game suffers for it. Could you please consider talking to her, or not bringing her to game anymore?"

So women really are parasites.

Diabolist kinda meh, but I guess they do get unusual summons very early. The limit of 1 summon at a time is kinda stupid tho
Normal cleric/wizard would win in sheer quantity of zombies

>Instead of
>"Mike you piece of shit your bitch is ruining the game"
wait...what's wrong with that?

That image reminds me, are there any good erp Homebrew systems for 5e yet?

What do people think the best foundation for a necromancer character would be in 5e? I've heard the Wizard one is actually pretty weak, all things considered.

>Acting like an adult
Oh please, the correct answer for such situation is clearly saying:
>"REEEEEEEEEEEE GET THE FUCK WITH YOUR STUPID CUNT OUT OF MY ROOM YOU FUCKING NORMIE CHAD REEEEEEEEEE"

Stop posting that stupid reaction image every thread.

>are there any good erp Homebrew systems
>are there any good erp systems
>any good erp systems
>good erp

So you have the perfect thief.

>Bulter, steal X, Y and Z from the General Store for me, please.

I want to be a raging barbarian that punches people in the face and grapple with dragons but at the same time I want to throw bolts of fire and lightning at people. What do I do to accomplish both at the same time?

Assuming your DM allows it, the Death domain Cleric from the DMG is pretty good.

What level are you playing at fuckface, I'll give you options if you give me a level count.

Way of the Four Elements Monk who is particularly peeved

The closest you can get is the Storm Herald Barbarian.

Or some multiclass abomination that will probably be weaker than everyone else in the table..

Immortal Mystic, full Con, dump Int.

Theurgist Wizard with Death domain?

The Death Cleric is better if you want to personally be stronger and deal out necrotic damage, but Necromancy Wizard lets you have more skeletons and gives them increased health and damage, so it's your call

Full fucking 20 from what the dm says, lets hear it
thanks, I'll take a look into those but I heard Wot4E was shit

Use way of the 4 elements revised.

I have a group in Calais that you can join, it's just a quick trip through the tunnel.

Of course, once you leave the EU we'll have to retire your character.

Is that UA?

>WotC
>admitting their mistakes with Monks
Never lose your innocence, user, no matter what the world throws your way. You are a beacon of light in this gloomy void.

I'm going to play a Dwarven Cleric in an upcoming game of OotA, but I'm having trouble deciding my deity.

Do I pick
>Moradin, the classic dwarf god
>Armok, the cooler classic dwarf god
>St. Aldebrandt, a cleric of mine from a previous higher level game

>full fucking 20

Barbarian 16, make sure one of your feats was Magic Initiate, make your spells be Cleric, Sacred Flame, Spare the Dying, and Guiding Bolt, then take 4 levels into Rogue, Arcane Trickster. You get the Expertise bonus to Athletics (meaning auto +12 to grappling checks via proficiency alone), three Wizard Cantrips, (Mage Hand Legermane no matter what, then take Green Flame Blade and Shocking Blast) and 3 prepared First Level Spells (Chromatic Orb, Magic Missile and Shield) and 1 unprepared spell (Find Familiar or any ritual spell you want).

It's the perfect Barbarogue if you're okay with sacrificing the Barbarian capstone for magic and Expertise.

T H A R D
H A R R
GOD OF SURVIVAL AND HUNTING
HE SPENDS ALL DAY TELEPORTING AROUND THE PLANET LOOKING FOR SWEET DWARVES IN DANGEROUS FIGHTS TO THE DEATH AND POSSESSES THEM, GIVING THEM SWEET ANIMAL CLAWS AND BESTIAL STRENGTH FOR A FEW ROUNDS

Are there any UA or splatbook variants for Dragonborn that make them not a horrible choice for a caster?

All I wanna do is play a lizard wizard is that really asking so much?

Use a lizardfolk.

Not the worst idea I guess but you're still not getting any bonuses to your main stats. Wouldn't reach 20 int until what, level 12?

They can do sorcerers and warlocks just fine

>replace +2 Str with +2 Int
>burn a 1st level slot to regain your Breath Weapon (worse than Burning Hands until 11th, at which point who cares)
i accept payment in the form of blowjobs or (You)s

bruh, i am currently doing a forge cleric in OotA, worshipping Moradin, shit is legit.

What do you guys think about this race? What classes might fit it best?

>not Valkauna

Nice, sounds amazing. Thanks user

...

Once people stop posting shit worth posting it over in other words never

Just realized a lvl 4 Diabolist could have a Vargouille familiar and a Shadow as a summon. Easy way to spread the monster menace early game as a PC, can't control the vargouille and shadow spawns tho

No it's a third party fixing the shit WotC has still refused to fix, since it's not an entire class like ranger they just ignore it.

...

>a png that's been saved as a jpg 4,000 times and had its 9gag bar blanked out instead of cropped

How do I become a better roleplayer? How can I make more interesting and fleshed out characters to play?

>not Valkauna
>goddess of oaths, death and birth
>forge cleric
wut

Whats wrong with it?

>he didn't swear an oath to be really good at smithing or to recover the lost smithing hammer of dorn

Watch a really obscure 80s anime and just play a character no one knows about.

>he didn't swear an oath to be really good at smithing
didn't need to swear an oath for that, I'm already a dwarf.

Not that obscure, but I guess playing a Hokuto no Ken character is the way to go, then?

No, but it's good.

Relative to other Dwarves.

Don't worry I'll let you know when I care

All (animal)folk races are inherently shit

It's furry garbage is what's wrong with it, talk about playing a gimped character only being two feet tall.

I guess, if you don't want to say anything and just stare stoicly at every enemy unless they happen to be a true man whose strength you could respect, in which case tears stream down your face as you stare stoicly at their corpse.

I'm fine with it as a concept, and you get all the bonus points ever for the Redwall references, but honestly, you could probably refluff Halflings perfectly well for them.

Shit, I''d play that. I'd play the shit out of that.

Now I wanna play a fantasy version of Mellowlink.

Kid Bat was a thing, tho.

>STRAHD... WAS THAT THE LIMIT OF YOUR POWER FIST???
youtube.com/watch?v=Ub_q_3Y-hnY

Whats the best multiclass combination?

You know when a game ends and you just feel genuinely good about it? Especially as a DM, it's such a great feeling when everything goes according to plan and you feel satisfied about every single detail of the session.

I threw my party against a difficult as fuck ambush and got to watch them rise out of this hardship as victors. It was fucking glorious.

Anyone had a good session like this recently?

single class

As long as you know what your getting yourself into I don't think anyone really would have a problem with that.

Are you having fun? Are your players having fun?
If yes to both of those then keep doing what your doing user.

goddamn touch of ass is bad, do these people even know the rules