How would you stat him as a race?

How would you stat him as a race?

Other urls found in this thread:

meetgraham.com.au/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

-2 to everything

Are these the new Space Marines?

massive tard strength
also con because IIRC that's supposed to be a person capable of surviving/that had survived a car crash

...

+6 con
-2 Dex

Aussie:
+10 bantz
+5 shitposting skill
-5 quality posting
-10 Internet connection speed
~Vulnerable to emus

>-2 dex
nah -2 cha

>Not using Homo-Jugganautus as a siege engine, perfectly designed to knock in doors or break shield formations.

WHAT YA GUNNA DO? STAB THEM IN THE HEAD? HA!!

Miss-replied , sorry.

no its a "human that can survive car crashes" concept

But he has no neck. How can he turn his head to see incoming cars?

Is it because he's designed to MAKE car crashes and survive them?

If he's from Australia, and Australia is Mad Max in the future, is he designed to be the ultimate road warrior in Australia's future?

Mad Max still has person to person combat on top of car crashes, if you make another creature that is good at surviving close quarter combat and maybe just decide that it's the female of the species (as opposed to the picture in the OP being the male) then you may have the ultimate road warrior race.

He's not optimized to drive a car. He's optimized to survive car crashes.

>But he has no neck. How can he turn his head to see incoming cars?
Good peripheral vision and decent rear / side mirrors.

Source for the unfamiliar:

meetgraham.com.au/

Resistance to non-magical bludgeoning damage

Underrated post.

>implying he couldn't survive a car crash inside a magical car

Are you saying that Graham COULDN'T kick your ass in a fight? His center of mass is well-guarded, his skin and bones are really sturdy, and he has those hoof-like feet with superhuman reflexes for leaping out of harm's way.

+2 Con, +2 Dex, advantage to saves involving blunt force or crushing damage, advantage to dexterity saves. Resistance to blunt damage.

Does anyone have more pictures of these kinds of imaginative-scientific made up hominids?

>inb4 some dumbass posts the troodon "humanoid"
Hominids, not humanoids.

>his skin and bones are really sturdy
They're really not. They're basically designed to be biological crumple zones. You might just need to hit him twice in the head with your warhammer instead of once.

Isn't that a good thing?

Even toughness/constitution/vitality?

+3 Con
-1 Dex

Give him some cool ability to not be turned into organic soup in high G manuevers.

>-1 dex
The guy has legs specifically designed for jumping incredibly fast and long distances with a very quick reaction time. While his dex has probably suffered he'd need a bunch of abilities/specific stat boosts to represent that
In comparison to the average human who dies after being struck in the head once?

>-2 everything
>Except charisma, which is a +4

-6 Str, -4 Dex, +2 Con, +8 Int, +4 Wis, -6 Cha
Race is driven by prosthetics that do various things, +6 to all saves to resist death when receiving an implant or anything similar, +2 to checks to design/create them.

>if you make another creature that is good at surviving close quarter combat and maybe just decide that it's the female of the species
Are they cute?

+4 shitposting

Oh my god... I just can't stop laughing.
Thanks you OP.
Now, is there someone here who can hire a professional assassin to execute this monstruous and disgusting thing, or just kill it himself ?

Doesn't he still have a major weakness of limbs getting crushed, cut, or impaled?

This

That's a good point, he'd probably have pretty strong limb muscles in order to force the blood back into his core and brain.

The RTA put out a thing basically saying ''If you don't look like this guy don't fucking speed because unless you're him you wont survive a car crash at those speeds"

But Graham can't turn his neck, so he'll always be making car crashes, killing the other guy, and surviving himself.

Graham is a negligent Chaotic Evil.

Is it just me or this guy is really similar to a krogan?

what if he leans back and uses his fucking mirrors you drongo

Then he'll have to drive at a really awkward, reclined angle.

you check your mirrors not constantly glare into them

Actually, yes. His whole body is basically designed to survive a car crash at about 70 mph.

the whole point of it is to say to driver's "unless you look like this, you're not going to walk away from a car accident. So drive carefully."

>Now, is there someone here who can hire a professional assassin to execute this monstruous and disgusting thing, or just kill it himself ?
Good luck with that. You're probably better off trying to buy him unhealthy lunches every day to induce heart disease.

STR 13
Not hugely strong, but solid
DEX 7
Big fat head on top of a stumpy body makes balancing and moving quick hard
CON 20
He's designed to withstand car crashes, of course he's stupidly resilient
WIS 8
His protective skull get in the way of sensory organs
INT 9
Brain slightly smaller to make skull thicker
CHA 5
I can't imagine wanting to talk to him

He's definitely got the Innsmouth look going

He's designed to have super fast reflexes and leap out of the way of anything though.

+10 nipples.
Are they some kind of airbags?

>Are they some kind of airbags?
Yes, actually. That's exactly what they are.

>implying Australians check the mirrors
DO NOT DRIVE IN AUSTRALIA

The trick is being faster then everybody else.

Now you just need to design a car around him, because I can't really see him fitting in a human one

> legs specifically designed for jumping incredibly fast and long distances
His knees also bend in all directions.

See

You wanna fuckin' go ya cunt!?

>> 53116463

I'd imagine a vehicle with seating designed for him to turn his torso using his strong legs. Any mirrors would be oriented to they're part of the main viewing like a trucker's cab.

Likely even more blind spots. The need to leg shimmy in order to turn his head due to having no neck means that the pedals would likely be larger yet inset so he could push against a static structure to reorient himself.

I imagine seeing Bruce driving would be similar to watching an obese person fidgeting constantly.

IF this was a more Mad Max setting there might be passenger seats oriented backwards so there would be a no necked Brucian male able to keep watch and or shoot at pursuers.

As for high mobility CQC monster waifu drop bear Shielas maybe reorient the male's adaptations for a more gender dymorphic situation.

The girls would be larger to permit passing those sledgehammer skulls through a much wider pelvis. This could then be the foundation for a more reinforced and muscular torsal core. While the Bruce is designed to drive the Shiela will be adapted to leap and rend from car to car.

So Shielas would have further adaptation to their legs and a slimmer head with a compromise in safety by having a sort of protoneck with mroe flexibility. If you want moe then give them larger wider spaced eyes so they can see better at night and also see attacks coming from directions other than the front.

Why not add an extra pair of eyes between the primary pair and the ears to bypass the whole "can't turn his head" problem entirely?

Once you start adding in additional sensory organs, you need to start worrying about where his brain is getting the energy to process all that new signal.

At this point welding on some extra mirrors is easier than reengineering his skull.

I'm guessing they wanted to stay firmly in the Uncanny Valley by having the outside seem human enough at first glace to be really unsettling instead of safely alien right off the bat.

For a Mad Max engineered driver beast that might be really helpful depending on how they were mounted.

If the Bruce was a relatively recent introduction I'd love to see their improvised riding goggles.

Greater Smashtard
Variant human

CON +6
CHA -8
+5 blunt resistance
Takes half damage from falling

>knees bend in every direction
He better have a passive visual range nausea aura because jesus christ that would make me want to hurl looking at it walk

The hell is a Brucian?

never understood why he has rows of tits like a female animal

is breastmilk supposed to help you survive a car crash?

Literal airbags. It's essentially bubblewrap+++

What are the extra tits for?

I dunno the dude was branded as "Bruce" according to the website he was built to promote auto safety with. Since it was an Australian promotion I guess it was to make him seem like an everyman car accident neckless mutate?

meetgraham.com.au/

So that's the best I could do as far as naming his particular clade of driver beasts.

They're supposed to expel their weird body oil fluids upon impact like an organic air bag analogue to handle the impact. At least according to the video on the website.

I wish they got more comprehensive on the website because they went the distance with the anatomy drawings.

Literal airbags

>Bruce
Where do you pull this from??? The name of the site is even "meet graham". It says his name is Graham. Where the FUCK did you get Bruce from?

Australia bias. Grahamites it is then e-friend.

DR 10 (semi-ablative; partial, torso; directional, front)
DR 8 (partial, skull) for a total of 10 skull DR
Injury Tolerance (x2; Crushing only)
G-Tolerance
Not sure about his legs but probably one or two levels of Enhanced Move and Super Jump.
Also, Appearance (Ugly) + Pitiable.

Given that CQC depends a lot on speed, reflexes, reach and agility, it'd look like a thin, tall human female with superhumanly fast reflexes. So basically an elf, minus the pointy ears and superiority complex.

everything

>-2 cha
>Implying
Races that receive Cha penalties on looks only receive them because they're hated within the setting or have a feral look to them that makes people insensitivity distrust them.
If there was a race like this within the setting and they've coexisted with humanity in cooperation for a long time, they'd be an ordinary sight.
Plus, nothing's stopping them from wearing headgear that would cover up their more bulbous features, leaving them with the look of a Space Marine, or unusually tall dwarf.

>In a future where Australian driving somehow became even worse than nowadays...
>Only one clade of genetically engineered freaks can return safety to the roads

How would Graham return safety to the roads if all he's made to do is get into car crashes and survive them?

He's got a specially made car with extra mirrors so he can drive safely (at least by Australian standards). The ability to survive more accidents gives him an edge over the average driver there