What if they launched a WH40k edition for children?

It has been done it is called Age of Sigmar.

> Implying kids don't get into 40k as is
Mate, step it up.

>In a Galaxy far, far away.....There is only war.....The defeat shall be yours!

why did this make me laugh

They have. It's called The Gathering Storm.

Nothing is about land battles between groups anymore. In a setting about war, war is taking a backseat.

Nothing is ever done by anyone who isn't famous, or by a group. It's not 'this regiment did this,' or 'this company of marines did this'. It's all about dragon ball z duels between characters that are basically superheroes. Did you actually read that terran crusade bullshit? Everything that happened on the fleet came down to Guilliman fist-fighting with the most powerful daemon in the setting cause he's just so cool. Even on the moon, where there ostensibly was a battle, the only thing that mattered or got focus was Guilliman and Magnus punching each other.

Defence of Macragge? It's all about how Guilliman was just so smart that he thunk the black legion back into space. Nothing like 'the third company engaged in a suicidal holding action in Odysseus valley to give the second and fourth company a chance to reach the fortress of Hera to bolster the defence'. Nope, Guilliman did it.

And now Guilliman is making super marines. You know marines, the faster than eyesight gods of war, who are extremely formidable but also few in number and difficult to replace? Well they're EVEN BETTER and EASY TO MAKE NOW. Isn't that cool.

The entire setting went from the doomed last empire of man standing fast and announcing to the cosmos, 'we are bloody but unbowed. We will not go quietly into the night' to some screeching anime opening utterly devoid of personality of stakes.

>early 2000's style Cartoon of a Space Marine Deathwatch team consisting of an Iron Hand (Tech Guy), A White Scar (Chill Sporty Guy), A Space Wolf (Bad Boy/Comedy Relief), and An Imperial Fist (Stoic Leader) as they around the Galaxy fighting Xenos (and maybe Chaos if they start pickin' fights)

I'd watch the shit out of it.

ORDOS XENOS DEATHWATCH KILL TEAM!

Marines, Sound off!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Deathwatch!
Created through mutation.
Deathwatch!
Live in outer space.
Deathwatch!
They are Our Salvation.
Deathwatch!
They fight for the human raaaaaaace!

Marines, sound off!
ONE!
Live by Creed of our holy lord.
TWO!
Protect manking from Filthy Xenos Horde.
THREE!
Always stand together no matter the Scourge.
FOUR!
When all else fails then it's TIME TO GO PURGE!

I love being (I love being)
I love being in Deathwatch!
ORDOS XENOS DEATHWATCH KILL TEAM!
Marines, sound off!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
Deathwatch!
There are none Greater.
Deathwatch!
Watch out for Traitors!
Deathwatch!
They're like no others!
Deathwatch!
Those batte-Brothaaaaas!

ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
ORDOS XENOS DEATHWATCH KILL TEAM!

This reminds me of Amberley's favorite "Wheels on the Land Raider crush the heretics".

A little something like this.

Top kek.

>Hasn't read Age of Sigmar and uses his filthy anus as a source.

Wow user, you certainly made strong point in case.

About how badly the point was missed in your readings.

But you look like an autist so no point really,

>ride on an imaginary horse

It's beautiful.

They already did to both fantasy and 40k. If anyone takes this over the top cartoony shit as ab adult game they're drooling retards.

And I'll just add this before anybody bitches. Yes, I know 40k and fantasy are meant to be over the top. But there's fun over the top, and childish over the top which is like jingling keys in a baby's face to keep them occupied.

And God came down from the Heavens to bestow upon you the true means of detecting the difference, yes?

>implying it isn't already for children
I mean, I'm a grown man and I fucking love 40k, but I'm not stupid enough to pretend that this shit is not specifically designed to appeal to 13 year old edgy nerds.

Like someone else already mentioned, when AoS came out they literally had to pretend to ride a fake horse and act like children. And another already mentioned 40k's issues in detail.

>when yoy nut and she keeps sucking

*tips grail*
For the lady

Who would be the "Master Splinter" here? A veteran Deathwatch Chaplain? An experienced Ordos Xenos inquisitor?

Rogue trader : ducktales
Imperial guard : GI JOE
Tau : mecha anime of your choice
Adeptus arbites : that COPS cartoon
Adeptus mechanicus : botmaster or dexter's lab
Sisters of battle : totally spies maybe?
Space marines : ... I don't know actually.
Nurgle : captain planet villain

Dexter's lab but with orkz instead.
Dee Dee is an annoying nob and computer is Deffster's pet killa kan.
Also a genetikally engineerd squig that can eat metal.

Necrons: WHERE. IN THE. WARP. IS. TRAZYN THE INFINITE!

(yeah i know necrons don't use the warp)

And Monkey, the pet assassin.

He's a human that the eldar use for secret missions. Thus his name of simply "mon' keigh" and being kept alive as an ork experiment from the shadows.

I'm buying

OK KIDS READY TO BURGLE
THAT DISEASE FOR NURGLE?

I want one of those little blobs.

You clearly know you don't have an arguement, otherwise that's what you would have typed.

Instead you whined like a bitch and fell back on feebly implying that you're right based on nothing.

Chaos gods but in primary school
>Tzeentch is the bookworm dude with glasses that is played for laugh
>Nurgle is the fatty with an heart of gold
>Khorne is the leader of the group and the cool guy that every mid-schooler aspires to be
>Slaanesh is the token (((girl))) to appeal to larger audiences

The main antagonists are the school bullies, Gork and Mork. Sometimes the gang hangs out with the autistic kid to show that it's okay to be disabled, even if you wish to devore the galaxy.

The entire show is basically G. I. Joe, except they rotate the cast around each episode to focus on different chapters and the Guard dealing with different threats.

As before, Chaos gets to be the second favorite, but this time because it's easy to shill environmental and moral messages when the baddies are incarnations of the ideas they're trying to fight. Basically turn them into Captain Planet villains.

>Nurgle: brush your teeth, wash your hands, eat healthy, etc.

>Tzeentch: Honesty and basically the Cobra Commander standin, except with birds.

>Slaanesh: Walking Drug PSA

>Khorne: Kindness and Empathy, dealing with emotions.

Eldar/Deldar are basically the "Curse You Dr. Jones!!!" Rivals.

Orks are the incompetent but fun baddies. Everyone's actual favorite because muh comedy relief.

Tau are the annoying rivals that get picked on. Never taken seriously by anyone. All of them are voiced by Greg Baldwin/Mako, even the women.

Nids are basically their stand in when they want a cool Godzilla fight.

the game store that used to be in town would have events if W40K battles, and based on the snits that were thrown by the people who played when they lost, I'd say it already IS for children.

...This is disturbingly accurate.

>All of them are voiced by Greg Baldwin/Mako, even the women.

They just did, its called battle for vedros.

>Uses joke rule made to be a farewell, even though the rule's gone forever. FAQed to kingdom come to boot. To add salt to injury is so autistic that things he should do it to get the bonus.

>They literally had to pretend to ride a fake horse.

I mean, if you want to be a retard of course! It tells us more about you than about the game.

>Screeches like an autist.
>Gets called on it.
>Y-you have no point! WAAAAAAAH!

It's always been for children.

there you have it

That Necron reminds me of him.

Like it's any better now with being a braindead version of kings of war.
But yes, as intended the rules used to say to act like complete jackass when they came out.
Nice attempt at damage control.

Yeah, because it really plays like KoW. Really.

And the rules intended Konrad to talk at you didn't they? Guess you should have caught the memo at that point you idiot.

>fixed hit and wound rolls
Yup.
Oh wait, KoW made models that are hard to wound actually harder to wound rather than wounding a dragon on a 4+ with boyz.
And the creme de la creme for AoS, taking so long to implement points into the game.

>And the creme de la creme for AoS, taking so long to implement points into the game.

GW honest to god thought people would fall for the narrative meme. They didn't of course.

I don't get why AoS isn't it's own specialist game like Necromunda or Mordheim.
Keep the square bases, have the AoS rules to draw in people, and as their collection grows they can play the larger games of Fantasy as a natural progression.