That guy/That GM thread

>getting buttblasted by the oldest western magic tropes in the book

2/3 of my group are alcoholics. I'm a casual drinker who has fun with said alcoholics. The other two don't drink and are lame.

fpbp

Sounds like you got played by that wizard and outsmarted by your DM . Suck it up and deal with it bitch.

>when you're so salty you accidentally reveal yourself as That Guy in a That Guy thread
Sounds like you had consequences of your actions blow up in your face and, rather than discuss it with your GM like an adult, you tried to get sympathy points from Veeky Forums. How's that working out for you?

Asking for spit and a robe should have been a huge hint.

The splitting headache is bullshit. The homebrewed abilities are fine, DM can rule zero things, even if I prefer my enemies to play by the same rules.

Should've killed the wizard desu fampai.

>All right, no big deal, right?

>Leaving a wizard alive after you failed him......

Are you even trying user?

Just leave. Go to a different land. You didn't have to go to the little town of whogivesafuck to check out rumours of you, how long is the wizard gonna pull shenanigans before he gets bored.

>outsmarted by your DM
You really cannot be outsmarted by someone who could literally shoot a meteor at your character.

Spoken like somebody who has never actually been a DM who revels in fighting the nefarious players.

Get another wizard to make a clone of your clone, dipshit. Three-way deathmatch. No matter what happens, you still technically win.

I just wanted to say I'm in my first campaign ever for this kind of stuff and we were having huge problems with a guy being a dick/baby. I got into argument with him/basically annoyed him out of the group and now everyone is super happy. The last two sessions without him have been so much fun.

>First ever time playing D&D after moving to the states.
>Find group online, apparently chill guys.
>First game DM finds reason for my character to have to get totally nude.
>"Seeing as everyone is seeing, you should describe what she looks like naked"
>Game or two later, DM essentially forces the character into a rape scenario.
>Have to take him aside and ask him what the fuck is up, and that i'm not comfortable with the scene.
>Never does anything remotely as weird to his other players.
>Leave game when he asks me to crash at his one night.

Long time playing d&d. Never met anyone like that.
Never heard from other players, about anyone like that.
Only read posts about it on anonymous forums.

>makes me wonder

This, haven't you fucking learned never to trust wizards?

Have you played in games with female gamers though?

Pretty much every female p&p gamer i know has had one or two moments with other players or a GM who got creepy as fuck

I pretend to be female online and exclusively play online D&D. Can confirm. My voice is super light and I can pass as a woman readily.

Everytime a DM gets creepy, I send him "nudes."

>female gamers
What are these "female" gamers you speak of?

Those are just an urban legend.

I mean that's at least sort of fun.

All my games i've played in person, where it's really uncomfortable to be treated like that at first. Learn to give as good as you get after a while though

We all know neck beards only have the tits in this lonely world of roleplaying fags, user.

>party comes to a raging river
>have to cross, let's cut down a tree for a bridge
>as tree is falling, rogue says, "I'm going to catch it and put it in place"
>can't convince him that it's a bad idea
>tree crushes tiny elf
>instant rage quit

this guy has always been an issue. don't know why we played so much with him.

Have him roll an intelligence check to see if his character is as retarded as he is?

Had me worried for a moment. I was totally about to spaghetti out.

I don't know what's funnier, the fact that he had the idea in the first place, or he did it anyways?

the rogue was pretty smart and surely would have thought better. but this kind of thing happened way too frequently. I've seen countless characters die at his clueless hands.

yeah it's actually hard to believe. but this guy doesn't seem to understand how character archetypes work. just wants to be the best at everything.

Yeah, been dealing with that a bit in my own group, got a level 8 mage who thinks that when he gets angry that everything around him starts to bend and has tried to get into a magic arm-wrestling match with a god twice now working, once of which he said that he won didn't roll or anything.

Terminal case of out of character.
If you do make a character archetype, at least role play it competently.

This. I have a player who is enamored with old wise-man type characters and loves to play them, but the poor bastard just doesn't think shit through irl. Whenever he wants to do something that will inevitably get his character killed, mutilated, robbed, shot or some combination of these, I'll tell him to roll a wisdom check. Depending on the result, I'll give him a few clues as to how his actions would play out, but not outright tell him not to do it. He's ok with it as long as I don't just tell him what I want him to do.

There was the HOTTEST punk chick in the game I played in college last year.

Fit as fuck, spikey pink hair. Played a bard and was really into music in reality.

Yeah... fuck.

Aren't there other PCs that could help you? Did you even try other methods of dealing with the clone other than destroying it?

Either way, it sounds like you're an absolute bitch.

>playing pathfinder for the first time on roll20 because no groups near me
>dm says to just use the main rulebook and he plans to have a fairly standard setting
>filling out a character sheet and the amount of options is killing me and pick what I think will work best
>game day comes and the DM says I must be a troll for picking shitty skills and can't play
>next session: again, can't play because my character doesn't fit some standard he has in mind
>finally look up some builds and pick one that is apparently good
>fucking again says my character isn't good enough and I give up

What the hell is the secret formula to a good PF character? I assumed he was trolling us all that way but apparently everyone else was fine and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong.

Wow your DM is one cunt

>once of which he said that he won didn't roll or anything

What like, he says "I challenge him to an arm wrestling match and I totally kick his ass!" or something? Is he twelve or something?

No, fuck YOU. Your DM came up with an interesting problem you need to solve, and you sperged out on him.
The only thing you did even close to right in this is leaving that game. Nobody wants to play with a shit lord.

It wasn't quite that direct, basically inside a temple to a god of illusions an NPC was trapped in an illusion based on her character. His character has been trying to romance them so during his "heart-touching" speech to win her over he said "and the illusions start to bend", no roll, no checks, no nothing.

Thankfully we were able to ignore it because while he was trying to be magic James Bond another character was examining the surroundings and found a way to destroy the illusion and then did so because he could.

Sounds like he needs/is used to more freeform roleplaying games if that's what he wants to do.

He's talked a few times about how he's got a lot of experience with like 5e and other similar P&P games.

Considering how he's fallen into obvious traps and tried to steal power from said god I can't help but question what kind of groups he's been playing with....

>Only War
>playing a salvage and recovery regiment
>going out to retrieve some wrecked Leman Russ tanks from a battlefield after a battle with some Orks
>Guy playing Ogryn refuses to get into our recovery vehicle because "IT DARK IN DERE!"

Honestly wasn't even that bad, this is just my first PnP game and I'm excited about it. Led to some fun hijinks with him hanging onto the top of the tank while the inexperienced driver swerves like a drunk trying to get around battlefield debris.

That isn't really "that guy". Ogryns are like that. Working through their childlike mind to use that brute strength is part of how they operate in 40k.

>be GM
>guy is on magical lake quest
>complains everything is boring
>I give him a magical lake sword that gets big bonuses when wet
>rest of campaign takes place in desert

Sounds like the DM is a powergamer that's expecting you to come with an optimized tier 1 class. The problem with Pathfinder is it's 5,000 options lead to clearly superior ones, which means that once you become experienced you start seeing normal builds as horribly terrible.

Will be interesting to see how much of a dick/party is dumb to see if they have themselves die of thirst just to get really big bonuses in this fight or that fight.

I once played with a female player. All she did was roll druids that were all awful in and out of combat.

>I have a player who is enamored with old wise-man type characters and loves to play them, but the poor bastard just doesn't think shit through irl.

yfw he knows exactly what he's doing (playing a slightly bumbling, eccentric old man man) and his roleplaying is just 2deep4u.

Thank your god/the universe every day that you didn't fall for the qt college ca/tg/irl meme user.

Not too bad but weird and annoying.

>Have 2/5 players
>decide to run a side-game without paper just for fun
>Make up characters as we go
>DM only wants to do a written out encounters
>DM decided that we should fight a level 18 character
>We're level 3, He never told us that the medius sized human is actually level 18
>+15 attack 4 times
>Kills my Paladin instantly
>Kills other players Sorcerer next turn

Oh I know, like I said it wasn't even that bad and it led to a fun session with him hanging onto the outside of the tank clinging desperately to life. It's just my first pen and paper game and wanted to share a story.

In our last session, my psyker wound up getting our party possessed by Daemonettes, and the one before that my Ministorum Priest started going Khornate before sacrificing himself for the party. "BLOOD FOR THE EMPEROR! SKULLS FOR HIS THRONE!" is now a catch phrase in our group.
Not as much roleplay as I would like, but I get why our GM is keeping it light and mostly combat heavy. Every person in our group has never played a PnP game before but loves 40k and each have at least 2 armies. We are so green to this it's ridiculous.

Oh I totally fell for her dude, I will shamelessly admit it.

That actually sounds interesting though

>Sacrificial last bit of water in waterskin for a bonus in a critical fight

but its probably more like

>i piss on my sword lol
isn't it?

>DM come up with a fun problem
rafgarnagl DM's a fagot
leave game

Nope, it had to be freshwater, either from a freshwater source or like drinking water.

>spend every session for a year trying to get gear in game
>can't advance the plot because dm thinks we are under powered
>finally not get a steam rolled by encounter
>all of our gear is taken and destroyed in a scene with no input from us
>dm assblasted we no longer want to play and I want to dm again

Fucking Christ, it is every one of his games that end like this

>Be DM.
>Wizard sends my players to recover a magical spear.
>He helped them in the past, so he's expecting them to return the favor.
>They break the spear while fighting a demi-god.
>They tell the wizard he fails.
>Come up with idea how the wizard is gonna get them back for fucking up the one task they were given.
>Tells one player to spit in a jar and give robes.
>Wizard makes an exact magical clone of him, but and evil thrall version so he does the wizards bidding.
>Having a clone of him, he creates wards specifically for that player (and can easily do this because he has an exact duplicate to base these spells off of) because he knows he'll come murder him if he finds out he created a clone.
>Players hear stories about the one player going around and murdering people randomly, so they investigate.
>The wizard used magic and shit to prevent my player from just insta-murdering him and moving on.
>I wait for my players to come up with an idea on how to solve this problem they're presented with.
>Instead, the player who gave his stuff to the wizard screams REEEEEEE! at me and screams about how I'm That Guy and storms off.
>Never comes back.
>Game continues.

you are just an idiot lol

>Female gamers

A lot of female gamers their self are creepy as fuck.

Any more stories?

Wow. That is some reckless faggotry on that GM right there.

I probably should be grateful that I don't get the people that the other fa/tg/uys complain about in my games...

The worst I have had are flakes. And the only complaint I can have about the players I game with is that they do not care much for the game.

Absolute madman

The last group I played with in real life had more females than males.

One of them was borderline That Guy. Two others were definitely much more likely to go for things like seduction or introduce sex as part of backstories. The last one was a quiet fighter-hit-with-sword type.
The guys seemed to stray pretty far from it, basically played Saturday morning cartoon style heroes.

>psuedo modern magic city campaign
>player goes to Not!New York to go tell people about amazing store that does something
>DM is super fucking slow about describing what everything looks like
>finds perfect way to speak slowly but not actually give important details
>makes player trying to find bathrooms take 25 irl fucking minutes to succeed
>it's only him so the rest of the party is chilling on the sofa
It's so fucking slow, combat is even worse with the DM not being clear on enemy placement a refusal to use maps that look decent
>you want to attack enemy? But he's 30 feet from you
>okay I move up
>alright you're 29 feet away from him now
>my full speed
>okay you spend your action on dashing to get closer
>but I have 30ft movespeed
>should've been specific
It's so fucking awful

I take it you left that game?

>what about blood dear ano-
oh ok

You soundlik e a faggot. If the only magic that ever existed in a game was what is provided in the back of the book, that game sounds like it would be tremendously boring. You should have used your imagination, and found another way to defeat the clone. You have an imagination, don't you OP?

Is it dolphin porn? That's the classic.

I should, I should, I really should, but I can't because that guy is a player in all other campaigns I'm in and it would create a terrible rift of drama that would be more miserable than just showing up to a shitty campaign

>never happens to ME therefore it never happens

I've also never been robbed in my life, user, but I'm not going to question it.

You're just like those guys that threw their weapons into a pit when confronting a lich because he told them he'd enchant their weapons.

If real, you're a retard.

Here's your (you)

>Playing with friends
>Two girls in group
>One is ok, the other a bit creepy
>Both extremely into gay porn fanfiction
>Like, super into them
>The ok girl even writes some
>doesn't really come up during game time
>but every game we play turns into gay porn fantasy

I'm ok with gay porn but please the game is about something else

If you are too scared to tell the truth, lie.
Just tell him you're getting burned out by playing in both groups, so you're dropping out of his.

Right? Sounds like a fucking awesome plot hook

I remember someone asking why are there so many That Guy threads all of a sudden. It seems like That Guys are just trying to rally people behind them with "ain't I in the right fellas?"

>hey player, this suspicious hedge wizard wants some of your spit and a robe you've worn in exchange for this powerful magic item
> well gee wiz DM, there's nothin wierd about that at all! Ill make this trade expecting nothing bad to happen

>tfw our that guy browses Veeky Forums
Now I can't even bitch about him in detail without him getting assblasted into my face.
All the other players are right now coming up with ways to kill him. I can't way to finally see that character gone for good.

>>our that guy browses Veeky Forums
>implying that's a problem

Just pretend you are describing a PC from another system and game, user. Also forget to mention a few people/stuff and you're set!

t. sneaky fucker

>Dark Heresy
>first That Guy skips two games in a row despite saying he will be there
>offers no explanation as to why
>the party is left undepowered because of that
>gets kicked after he stops responding to all messages

>second That Guy plays a genocidal psycho with borderline nazi life-philosphy
>actually plays himself as we found out later
>refuses to accept that his hobo from a dirt age planet can't know about daemons
>keeps drawing attention to our covert investigation
>ragequits when he gets handcuffed by the party and forgets he is so strong he can break them easily

>third That Guy was more hated than the nazi
>no further explanation shall be given

>no further explanation shall be given

you little tease

This DM sounds great. You're that guy, OP. Good thing you left that group; the other players and DM probably hated you.

That GM
>cancelled a game last minute because he "had to drive family home"
>next game also cancelled last minute for Halloween
>which was in the day after tomorrow
>then cancelled the next game at the last minute for another reason
>had the balls to do it for a fourth time in a row
>he didn't have the balls to cancel the campaign on the first time

That Guy
>new group playing Only War
>players go from forgettable to likable
>That Guy is far into total shithead territory
>boasts about his minmaxing skills, but his characters die half an hour into any combat situation
>gets incredibly assblasted because our requisitions "make no sense in canon"
>autistic rage for half an hour after a player successfully gets a Baleful Eye
>regularly ditched the game to play dark souls if he fails one (1) roll
>regularly bitched about everything and anything happening in the game and to his character
>never got kicked because "we are friends"

It never ceases to amaze me how much shit people excuse to bad players because "he is frend!" I've kicked almost every single close friend I have from my table before settling to people that want to play without acting like cunts. Grow a pair.

>But he's a friend

God I hate this excuse more than anything. There was a summer when a me and a few friends would actually play 2-3 times a week rotating GM's doing bullshit oneshots and whatnot and somehow, almost every session of the guys would invite the same guy who was completely disruptive.

He always brought his huge as fuck desktop to whatever session we were doing even when we were cramming into a tiny 10x10 room that could barely fit us in the first place. He would proceed to turn his fucking back to the table to play league of legends (I shit you not.) Whenever his turn came around for combat came around he'd take forever because not only did he have no idea what was going on and had no idea how to even play d&d and we essentially had to do everything for him. Eventually me and another player just got to the point where we wouldn't even consult him, we just took his turns for him.

The worst part is that when he did actually participate, he was super slow, always wanted to be the center of attention and got super pissed whenever things didn't go his way. Me and the other sane player would constantly ask our friend why he kept inviting him and we were too awkward to make a firm stance on it, especially since games were usually at his house.

He wasn't even the only problem person in the group, we had a total wangrod with us who I found completely insufferable, but at least he paid attention and had the presence of mind to play simple classes so he had at least a mild understanding of how to play.

>no further explanation shall be given
well, fuck you too, you fucking tease.

Jesus Christ y'all are some cunts. OP said that breaking the spear was the only way to survive an encounter, so purposeful or not it was as much justified as the wizard's anger. Giving in the the demands of a wizard who's deal you've fucked up is also a sensible thing to do unless you're actually strong enough to deal with them when they get pissy. The only real wrong OP did here was act like a bitch about it and leave rather than do the sensible thing and have he rest of the party murderfuck the clone.

Our group has two guys who alternate GMing, first dude is great, always has great plots, fun encounters, and allows the players to be cool without going silly.
The other guy though is.. fuck
Among his many "quirks" is that he's a born again christian who refuses to allow not only anything demony (warlocks, teiflings, evil outsides as monsters ect) in any game we play (other GM has to work around his rules or he freaks out) even something like an assassin character or a bloody pickpocket isn't allowed,
add to that that he insists on us starting every game not only as pathetic ignorant shits who have no idea what's beyond the treeline and should be intimidated by the idea of going more than a mile from home because "well it's realistic! that's how things were in mideval times!" with every NPC treating us like shit, because every town guard and merchant and random craftsman is far far cooler than our characters. I might only be level 5 but "Master Carpenter" shouldn't get to be snooty to "Paladin" especially one in full arms and armor.

If we get though that it's onto the railroad since every game has some sort of authority group that we need to follow "because game" and he's terrified of us deviating from his grand plan. In the latest a group of shadowy ex adveturers told us they're getting visions from an unknown "patron" and we need to go on quests because the voices in their head say so.
After that we have his habit of leaving everything up to random dice rolls, from loot to monsters to fucking EVERYTHING. He hardly plans ahead or has any idea what we'll find or what will happen, like every question we ask is answered with "well roll odd or even" or some shit.

>DM makes evil clone of your character
>instead of being creative about how you approach this just like the DM was creative in creating such an adversary you bitch about it and leave the game

I sure hope I will never get into the uncomfortable situation of playing with someone from Veeky Forums. I have no idea how this supposedly makes him THAT DM but jesus christ, you might have legit autism, user.

I saw someone here complain about a GM using one of his dead PCs as a reanimated foe.. and he wasn't mad just about being used, but that he 'should have asked permission to use his character.'

All of my group drinks pretty much every session, it's only distracting when that one guy passes out mid-game.

>Be in cleric in a group of fucks Barb, Rogue, and Wizard
>After killing a beast and opening a chest we find a torch
>DM describes it as having a faint magical aura
>Wizard rolls arcana
>Crit fail, he's got nothing
>I roll Arcana, get enough for DM to give me some details
>"It's magical, but has limited uses"
>Thanks DM
Bit of background, I know the DM, and he was on a serious Darksouls kick, me and the Barb knew instantly that this was that fucking torch that spews fire, but to avoid meta gaming we played it off like like it was some random torch that we have no idea what it does.
>Enter a fucking fight
>It's fucking spiders all over the place
>They don't hit often but there is a ton of them so we start getting beat up
>DM acting like we're doing something wrong
>Hand waves half the spiders going off before TPK happens
So he ends up telling us we should have used the torch since it was obviously magical, as he had made it so it would have burned all the spider at the cost of a spell slot.

How were we supposed to know that Veeky Forums? I mean, it's not like when you're in the middle of a fight you think "Oh man, this random item that I don't know what it does can help us!"
Basing the whole encounter around the use of that item almost got us all killed. Then they played it off like it was obvious and we should have known to use it.

Thats OSR baby!

classic video game mentality where the dm wanted a cool cutscene and the players just want to do their own thing