Meanwhile, on /dragon/

One of my kobolds keeps trying to woo me, and while I'm flattered, I'm just not interested in it in that way.

How can I stop this problem without risking an uprising?

Squish it and say it stole from you. If your staff isn't big enough that you can spare it, then you can re-animate it as an unthinking undead.

Limbs are for those without limitless magical power my friend

Your a dragon

They worship you

Say what ever you want

How is a kobold uprising an issue and why would you be afraid of causing one.
You are metallic, aren't you.

Bet it's just a wyvern

It's just a fucking inconvenience, you know? I don't want to have to get a new set of servants in place when these are already so loyal. Massacring them all would just be a bother.

>be me
>born with three heads
>everyone calls me a hydra
>my faces when

They are kobolds.
KOBOLDS.
Kill five and the rest falls in line, for the sake of Tiamat's acid breath.
Ask them if they call their goddess an hydra as well.

Wait, buy minis,
We aren't suppose to use smaller sentient races for it..,

I think I was playing this wrong the whole time, also my elf army got wiped out, does anyone know where I can get a new one...

>be copper dragon
>mess around in my lair, make dank puzzles and mazes
>minotaur infestation right now, not relevant but annoying
>nap a lot. a LOT.
>verdigris builds up on my scales
>chromatic nearby notices me with scrying
>yes my defenses were broken fuck you she's stronger magically
>doesn't bother scrying my true colour because why would you
>invites me to game at nearby mountain range with a couple other chromatics
This has been going on for a few decades now. Everyone thinks I'm a green, I haven't seen my natural shimmer or another metallic for way too long. It's starting to get to me.
Wat do, /drgn/?

Check the wood

Damn things always live there

Thanks, I'll get them ready for a rematch against that wyvern's orcs in no time.

I've got a couple decently sized units of elvish archers and an elven wizard I'm looking to trade out, would you have some leftover drakes? I'm in the market for some of those pesky buggers.

Confess and become her slave. Give your hoard to her.
We /chromatic/ here, boi.

Look, not everyone has the time to make our own. I'm not going to kidnap a group of adventurers, coat them in epoxy, paint over them, trap their souls in their own body alive and conscious, and stick them to a base--a base which, by the way, you still have to buy. I have three rambunctious wyrmlings to worry about, even after I ate the smallest one.

okay look maybe I am a metallic and maybe I care about them. They don't have to be cannon fodder.

I just want her to stop making advances on me, considering I'd actually split her in half.

Well then ACTUALLY split her in half.

>Limbs are for those without limitless magical power my friend
if you had limitless magical power then you'd make your own limbs

>give hoard
>including original Lam'Braen pieces
>calligraphy by Min the Saint herself
>and an everlasting ice sculpture by the Starlight Artist
I'm a metallic, not a lizard. Also she'd probably kill me first if the other drakes didn't first.

Just eat her. You know how kobolds are, they'd probably consider it an honor.

Ask a brown dragon anything.

How cold is the night? Is it enough for a white dragon?

I honestly don't see the point

Give her a position as high priestess or assassin or something. Send her out into the world to get you pretties. If she comes back with pretties and some experience under her belt, all is well. If not she died for her beloved patron. Win win win

Pretty fucking cold brother.
You'd do fine there.

Bump.
I have just found this thread brothers.
Do not let it die.

What the most unusual place you can find a dragon species?

>bump
Take a deep breath and calm the fuck down. This board is not that fast.

The 9 hells of Baator I believe.
If I am incorrect then forgive me for my ignorance.

Alright alright.

>he unironically posts on dragchan using a username
This is why you bastard red dragdungs will always be inferior to the virtual gods that are the blue dragons

What's the point of a name function if no one uses it cousin?

Dunno, what's the point of your dick?

Sexual conquest.

No one uses it though.

Human here
There's this really cute Copper dragon who hangs out with me in her polymorph human form all the time and we go fishing together.
Should I ask her out?

I do cousin.

inb4 someone starts talking about dragon romance, it escalates to various sexual escapades, and the janitors move this thread to /trash/

Also, I'm a level 11 Barbarian if that helps

No

Yes

>30 seconds too late

fucking dindus need to leave my board

I just got home from work, user. I came as fast as I could.

What do you mean by this fellow dragon?

That's about as much use as you're getting out of that name as well. It's only there for self-gratification and everyone else wishes you'd stop using it in public.

Bring lube. You know how copper dragons are.

Very well.
I was gonna make my name "Not Kelaris, Destroyer of sultans." but that would boil your water wouldn't it cousin?

You sure she's a copper? Not a bronze? Bronzies are more about the fishing. I tried fishing once, got bored quickly and visited a town in my domain just for something to do.
Still, bothering to change shape and stare at dullard fish all day means she enjoys something about the experience.
Heavens know what though. Fish and barbarians, no offense, are hardly the most interesting conversationalists.
Still, from your perspective I suppose there is little to lose and much to gain. I just don't see what she would gain.

I give up talking to the brain-dead one. Anyone else want to prove that I haven't been talking to a particularly bright wyvern? Or a concussed parrot?

>POLYMORPHING
>EVER

IF SHE IS POLYMORPHING SHE IS EITHER A DESPERATE RUNT WHO CANNOT FIND A DRACONIC MATE OR ONE OF THOSE WRETCHED OTHERKIN WHO SHIRK THE GREATNESS AND POWER HER TRUE FORM BRINGS, FEARING THOSE THAT WOULD COVET IT!

IF YOU WISH TO LAY WITH WYRMS, MORTAL, SEEK AN ENLARGE PERSON SPELL OR POTION AND BE OF THE MIND FOR DOMINATING, FOR THE BURDEN OF PROVING YOURSELF WORTHY SHALL BE UPON YOUR COMBAT PROWESS AND YOUR DICK!

Ah I see.
You are retarded.
Very well cousin.
I shall leave you to your playthings.

Hatchling you shouldn't be here

You should leave

HOW ARE YOU HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH KNIGHTS? THEY ARE STILL HUMANS. THEY SHOULD NOT EVEN MAKE IT PAST YOUR KOBOLDS.

ARE YOUR CLAWS SO DULL THEY CANNOT PIERCE STEEL? IS YOUR BREATH SO LUKEWARM IT DOES NOT CHAR FLESH?

EXCERCISE AND DO NOT SKIP BREATH DAY.

>tfw wyvern

YOUR NUMBERS OF POWER ARE WASTED ON FALSEHOODS, UNBELIEVER.

Caps lock broken again?

Now be fair user

Not all Dragons have fire breath or claws

Leave.
You are no brother of mine.

Yo human. I've been really fucking bored lately due to my lizardmen servants being too damn good at guarding my hoard and bringing me shit so I'll cut you a deal. Tell me what village you live in and I'll fly over and give you some potions of attraction as well as a potion of increased fertility that I've been saving up, she's a metallic so I don't really care if you knock her up. In return all I ask is that you send whatever king rules your land's army over to my lair, I have a shitload of stuff (Pls don't scrox me chromebros) so it shouldn't be to difficult to convince him. You get superior immortal cloaca and I get a good scrap, seems like a fair trade to me

Dad?
I-is that you?

TEXT DOES NOT DO MY MIGHTY THROAT JUSTICE, BUT A SMALL CONSOLIDATION CAN BE MADE WITH THE ALPHABET OF YOUR CAPITOL CITIES!

I do not believe you will find your father here young one

I wish you luck on your journey

Does anyone have some advice on dealing with a Blue's relatives disapproving of a relationship? She's an amazing girl, but her folks really don't like me.

But..
I understand.
Thank you wise one.

What is your colour fellow dragon?

Hey do any of you buy the coast wizard's magic scrolls. If so, is it true some from the recent set was printed in hieroglyphics?

Bronze.

Which is part of the problem.

Holy shit brother what is wrong with you.

>being poor
>not having a comfy pile of gold to sleep on
>not knowing the convenience of food just showing up at your door trying to claim it
Look at the skyfag. Look at him and laugh.

>Bronze
Well fuck dranon. You're never going to be able to impress her parents with that twink physique you got going on and I doubt you can kill two mature chromatics by yourself. Honestly you have two options
>Run away and use that sneaky metallic brain for something
If you get found you'll probably get killed, your waifu might also leave you for being a coward
>Hire some older and tougher dragon to kill them for you
I might do it depending on their record and how much loot they got. Honestly your safest bet, just don't stay around for long or else your hired claw might turn on you as well

>sudden interest intensifies
So, any advice for a metallic, who might be pretending to be green, about dealing with Blues?
And how your head was not incinerated? Because I'm worried my head may be incinerated.

Do not appear weak, user or make them appear weak

Blues might not have the ambition of Blacks or Reds but their pride is just as great

you must prove yourself without looking like you have anything to prove or showing them up

Gifts can work for your favor

Blue gems and master work art are a favorite of Blues

They love to have minions that can do boastable deeds with out any of their own effort

>Exploiting kobolds
Bastards, the lot of you!

They literally beg me to eat them.
I do.
Most of the time they er...
They play with themselves inside my throat and squirm around to make me enjoy it more.
.....
They taste pretty good.

Is there a franchise or something of you? I don't have any kobolds, and I sort of miss them from my hatch-nest.
Looked around some, but it's dwarf territory surrounding my lair. No kobolds at all! A few goblins but really, goblin servants?

Knowledge is the greatest treasure user

Goblins taste good.
I recommend Dirges #14 if you want them to be spiced.
That spice works with anything.

Fuck you dad I'm going to go join the hero's party.

I have given you life and love and coin.
Don't leave.
You will die without me to protect you.
I don't want to be alone again.

I lost my taste for that when I had to eat prey smothered in it one game night. Turns out you can have too much of a good thing.
You have put me in the mood for goblin though, they're good salted and dried too.

What, go out into the world and destroy beings that would inconvenience your parents later on, gathering coin, mortal followers and magic treasure in bulk?

I'm sure your parents are devastated.

I have not had them like that.
I'll have some kobolds raid a goblin camp.

> Holy shit brother what is wrong with you.
I don't know! I was just doing the usual shapeshifting stuff to scout out a city. I was thinking of moving in nearby and wanted to see what was up. I didn't know that it was her territory at the time. I saw some soldiers harassing people and I thought to intervene, and one thing led to another, and before you know it she shows up to investigate who was trashing her minions. I thought I'd try to sweet talk her into letting me go, but that worked a bit too well and I ended up getting invited up to her palace in a way that made it very clear that declining was not an option. We hit it off pretty well after that, though it was a bit tense for a little while when she found out I was a bronze.

> Hire some older and tougher dragon to kill them for you
I don't want to kill her parents! She likes her parents!

From what I've been able to figure out, blues can get really, well, attached. Part of it is emotional, though I think part of it is also a refusal to admit that they could be wrong about anything. She's been a bit stubborn anyway, and it looks like that can sometimes work in your favor. When she found out that I was a bronze, she very quickly tried to pretend that she wasn't at all surprised and that of course she always knew that from the start. It was really cute.

don't get killed, and stop embarassing everyone, go get a real horde.
this is what happens when your drunk and the mother is a white, the child is full blown retarded.

>become her slave

Fuuuuuck that. You sound like a Blue dragon, probably female. Whaddaya want his hoard for; to prove he'll be a strong provider for your brood? You want to pair off and have your clutch by yourself don't you. Anybody who does THAT instead of laying at the clan's training creche just ain't right. And while he's back at the lair sitting on the eggs, you'll be off raisin' your tail for some Red.

There's dry seasons around here, less food supplies so I took to curing as a sort of hobby. Dried goblin strips I recommend, and firefruit jam too if you've got the patience for it. Smoked crocodile is my favorite however.

Brother please.
Please.
Consider suicide.
Its the only way to stop the Dishonor you do to your clan name.

>Doesn't want to run or fight
Have you tried seducing her parents?
Watch your mouth and bring me back some goblets when you're done with your rebellious 1300 yo phase darling

Well, that makes me feel slightly better should my disguise ever get revealed. I might not die.

Lo! Behold a Camera Obscura in the shape of a dragon! Will the wonders of this age never cease?

No wait you're just projecting harder than a peeping psion.

Hey guys I'm new to the neighborhood and was wondering if I could take a tour of your hordes since I'm thinking about revamping mine.

> hordes
You want me to show you my army?