When is it acceptable to lay the dragon instead of slaying it?

Always?

Like, is that a question? You lay the dragon, you get a half-dragon son or daughter, who will be naturally gifted at magic, and be stronger than anyone around her.

What is this, Pokemon? Are we gonna breed literal generations of incest with each other for the perfect half-breed?

Come in close and listen well
To the story I now do tell
About Brian the Bold and the Dragon, Red
A tale most naughty as ever been said

Brian was strong, mighty and proud
The Dragon, Red, monstrous and loud
In the dead of night did Brain creep
Upon the Red Dragon whilst it sleep

Now is the time! Brain did think
but on his approach spotted something pink.
Scalely I be not! Brian did sputter
But the sight made him hot and his heart start to flutter.

A hole is a hole Brian's father did say
And in the dead of night Brain did lay
Upon the morrow at the sight of dawn
Did Brian awake with a stretch and a yawn

A deep satisfied rumbled reached his ears
From Red, the Dragon whom he brought to tears
With his mighty sword, long and made of pork
A claim he would boast from here to York.

So there be the tale of Brain the Bold
Never a grander tale had ever been told
So if you cometh across a Dragon named Red
Do not slay the beast, but take her to bed.

Incest and dragons is how you get drakes and all sorts of undesirable half-breeds

When they are Good aligned and are capable of passing the Harkness test.

You're an artist, user

Just use a different stud every generation. You could even do a gladiatorial tournament or something to find the next one. Also, use your army of half breeds to capture more dragons.

...

>A hole is a hole Brian's father did say
Wise words. Any hole IS a goal.

I'm really digging this, I'd love to do a bard thread, make up stories like these about pretty much everything.

>The chance to literally kill for my own halfdragon breeding slave
I was born for this.

Fire emblem 6.

I'd participate in that thread.

Kobolds are there own thing, I'm a bit unsure as why they have connections to dragons in the first place.

Fucking make it then.

Veeky Forums is fun when it gets creative.

When you first see her, and the way the light of her fire shimmers off her scales and your heart skips a beat, and you yell out "Your horns are really pretty!" And instead of trying to keep killing you, she gets really flustered.

Then after atleast two dates, you can lay the dragon.

when it's a world class doragon

non magical realm'ish ?
having the dragon polymath into a humanoid.
But even then just the aspect of love making in tabletop is kind of weird and by itself can still be a sort of power fetish.

This sounds so eerily familiar to a campaign I was in it's fucking uncanny.

When it's Japanese. All their dragons are 5000 year old lolis or titty monsters.

...

Story time

If Sanzo's comics have taught me anything, it's when your thirsty as hell dragon riding teacher polished her horns for you after accidentally grabbing them the previous day.

Failing that, you help her out in getting used to working in a convenience store and acquire her heart through positive reinforcement and the occasional physical contact.

Preface: This DM pretty much let everything go that you attempted, so long as you could back it up with dice. Turns out, he never intended us to win this fight.

We had the normal sort of composition for a campaign together, and we'd been turned onto this lair through a series of increasingly more populated caves housing things that were eating/killing the local populace. We had the rogue, who somehow managed to live through the whole campaign without stealing from the party, the paladin(me), drunken dwarven fool who had absolutely no filter, a fighter, stoic orc woman who had a few violent incidents with the bard, a wizard, old not!Gandalf type, and the bard. This motherfucker, I don't think I'd ran into a bard who played off bard activities as well before, and he was a constant source of almost seductions he never went through with, which none of us could figure out why he always stopped short with some bullshit of the 'purity of a maiden'.

It should be noted as well that the DM was very elaborate and well experienced, and described everything as deeply as he could, with us doing our best to respond in kind. We'd just finished hacking our way through about a score of orcs, and the bard had been doing his best to keep our spirits up seeing that we were pretty much limping through at this point, him included. Upon finding a locked door, with several chains running across it in the middle of a corridor, and not thinking of a better option, the rogue opened the door cleanly.

Of course, the bard can't help but comment on his skill and talks of a ballad begin shortly before I very somberly mention "Lad, for all we ken this is the gate to hell and ye want to sing a song of us opening it now?" To which the bard simply replied with a laugh, sprung into the room, noting the prevalence of treasure and goods, and burst into song.

cont.

The wizard, a greedy old fool, immediately began perusing the gold bits scattered around the chamber, humming merrily to the song that I'm pretty sure the bard had prepared for just such an occasion(He was nothing if not prepared for such a character). The Orc followed in, mostly surprised to see all this money sitting about, especially given the circumstances, inspecting the area to figure out what it was supposed to be, and noting strange red walls. The rogue, paranoid but greedy, immediately started attempting to discern magical properties of the gold, before stuffing as much as he could carry into his pockets.

Perception checks were not going well, but as I entered to take stock of what was going on, I noted a number of things on a significantly better roll than my companions had managed, but this only revealed a few strange things to me, there was no ceiling on this 'room', there were several chains on pillars and walls leading to the 'red wall', and there were deep lines in the walls near where the bard had just leaned against to continue his ballad. The horror on my face as I put it together had to have translated in part to the dwarf as he did his best whisper shout of "Quiet!" partway through the bard's final, warbling note.

This note, either through DM fiat or a preplanned moment of revelation from someone getting close to this particular part of the dragon, that I now recognized to be covering the majority of this room, caused a large orange eye to open behind the bard, looking over the very tiny creatures that were stuffing their pockets with it's gold.

cont.

Go on...

The session ended here, but when we came back, I was ready for war, and probably a total party kill in all reality given what we were walking into and doing at the time of this. This session dragged on forever, we continuously held on through a mix of cleverness, and amazing rolls through a huge session of combat. The Orc was from what could only be described as a moment akin to a horse swatting a fly with it's tail.

The bard was performing mostly normally, well, I thought so, he was more nervous than normal in combat I suppose, but I thought everything was mostly fine for the time being, he was in the middle of a song that gave a bonus to charisma, combined with a few motivational things. Very abruptly however, right as the Orc's turn ahead of him to save from unconsciousness ended, he blurted out something I have hardly been able to recreate.

"I love your eyes, and your scales look so-" Honestly I can't even begin to recreate the 'nervous virgin confession' levels this went to, and he played it so perfectly, that I couldn't help but blurt out, thick in my dwarven accent "Lad wha tha thrack are you fakin saying you daft bastard!" The entire table was staring between the GM, and the bard's player, what the fuck was he going to do now?

The DM allowed so much, but we couldn't even think that a dragon was on the table in any way, especially after the manner in which the bard broke down, we expected this to be a joke.

...

Instead we entered something I'm tempted to call worse than hell, we began a descent into madness that could only have resulted from the most fetishistic of interpretations of what dragons were, and a willingness to see said madness through. The dragon, as I attempted and failed to heal myself for the turn, simply backed away for it's movements, it's chains long broken from the several cave-ins the fight had caused, and the wizard attempted to make a check on his arcana to figure out what the dragon was doing.

"It's... Its... Embarrassed?" Was what the wizard said, granted the DM had made things far more interesting and in depth about it, but the wizard didn't understand a damn thing, as the dragon was described to shrink, and we were still in combat turn orders, I went to help wake the Orc, with the Rogue attempting to find a vector of attack still. The bard had been quiet and stopped playing for a few turns, which made me even more horrified as my mind came to a simple conclusion: The bard has a dragon fetish.

Worse yet, the dragon had responded positively to this knowledge, or at least it wasn't trying to kill us anymore, which was a plus, but given it's current form it could still do so very accidentally. I'd had five health for about ten turns now, the bard was similarly bloodied, the wizard has a measly single life point and the rogue was about a single attack from death. The bard continues now however, starting up a very, very, very awkward attempt at making a poem on the fly to serenade the dragon with, rolling quite well all things considered, and the dragon starts getting smaller.

I could only watch in horror as the bard proceeded to do the un-thinkable, and accidentally further the plot more than our murderquests had done in months of playing.

With very little hesitation, a clearly pre-prepared image of 'Red' formed from the shrinking dragon, and a form of embarrassment far more easily recognizable set in as the bard continued to attempt, and succeed in romancing the 'dragon'. At the table, this would have been far more awkward if the bard wasn't a girl, who was playing a male, who was seducing the man playing a girl, but I still couldn't help but stare in shock, and almost not recognize it was my turn a couple of times.

I was mostly panic healing at this point when I did realize it was my turn, still expecting things to go to shit any moment now, and when we had most of the party, aside from the bard, far away from us in fighting form, we slowly approached the scene. It resembled something of the awkward flirting one might expect from a movie featuring high-schoolers, but the dragon wasn't murdering us, and we really didn't have the spells or equipment to spare at this point, so we kind of just watched for now, a mix of abject terror and utter entrapment keeping any of us from doing anything at this point, aside from the rogue who was taking as much gold as they could get their grubby gnome fingers on.

I don't know who made the call, but we closed the door to the room, and set up camp, everyone but the bard and dragon, who had their own deal going off to the side looking into the small fire with a shellshocked look on their face. I finally said "Tha bastard's tryina ta fuck a dragon." with the orc's reply simply being "The bastard's always wanted to fuck a dragon..."

Since I'm getting lazy and tired for now, I'm going to post a quick summary of later events and maybe expand on them later in a bard tales thread.

>the dragon had simply responded as one would to crazies attempting to murder it
>the dragon was actually once considered an ancient queen with the best claim to the throne
>the bard went on several romantic dates with the dragon
>the two were married later
>filthy halfbreeds

That's a nice story.

>those thighs

Need that Descartes image with instructions on consent

...

>bard has a dragon fetish
I don't think I have ever witnessed a bard that did not have said fetish.

It's only natural: the weak are attracted to the strong. Romantically, too.

When you're surrounded by garbage people like you. If there's a chance even one member of your group isn't trying to ERP, don't do it.

When it stops the kaiju with no collateral damage.

Never. You disgusting erpigs should leave these lands.

>To fuck monsters, we created monsters

>When is it acceptable to lay the dragon instead of slaying it?

When both your nation and the dragon's nation have become too economically reliant on one another, but you still want to play the passive-aggressive war game.

So you marry off as many of your sons as possible to the Dragon Aristocracy in an attempt to undermine their authority and eventually inherent their land and kingdom.

When you don't know that it's really a dragon you're laying.
Pic very, very, VERY related.

>Touching non-humans
>Ever

The day of the cross starts today user.

>tfw I lost my barnabas genocide feels so good meme

When it's your grand ambition to do so.

Depends on the Dragon.
If it's sapient and not evil, then laying it is completely acceptable.

Gold and jewels.
They tend to have a soft spot for this shit.

Whens she/he is not the size of a mountain. I tend to make my dragons too haughty to actually shapeshift (as what better form could their be than a dragon) and too large to be woo'd by your pencil dick.

Either expect to be a thrall or get in really good graces to get a dragon to let you sate your lust on them scales boy. Or tie em down I suppose.

>tfw silver dragon gf

There was a pic like this with two catboy adventurers arriving at the entrance of a dragon's cave and realtizing that the S of "slay" on their quest contract is actually in ink spot.

It's been years, it's driving me crazy.

Silver dragons are the best spouse or lover for a humanoid PC. They're powerful, virtuous, active in their travels and quite comfortable with taking on human forms with lustrous silver hair.

I love you

>and quite comfortable with taking on human forms

Boring. If I'm going to get fucked by a dragon, I want the full experience.

Incidentally, why are these threads always about female dragons? M-Dragon/F-Knight or Princess needs more love.

Because the male dragon would split her open.

Apparently Solar Dragons are pretty hot according to XS.

Imperial Sea Dragons are quite randy, they get around a lot in all the Chinese legends.

Because M-DragonxFemale anything is pretty easy to find.

I have no idea why this pic is so big.

youtube.com/watch?v=XHlU1jaFcaQ

>Boring. If I'm going to get fucked by a dragon, I want the full experience.

The... Full experience?

user, do you even understand what that means? There's way, way, way more to a relationship than what sexual position you take her in that night, and believe it or not but I think a Lawful Good dragon-girl that has ALREADY spent half her life in a humanoid form would be comfortable using that humanoid form to go on dates, hold hands, and have sex.

And what even is the "Full Experience" to you? Jamming your average-sized pecker into the large slit of a female dragon, which will feel more like humping a wet, warm wall than something pleasurable? Oh, or are you one of those "I climb inside her" types? Something that is not only horrific to most people, but a fraction of the pleasure she could get if she turned into a lovely young woman and you ate her out that way.

Fucking a dragon in dragon form is boring, frustrating, and not that pleasurable. Give me a silver-haired hottie with eyes the color of quicksilver any day of the week, at least I can hold her in my arms and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

Turning a dragon human just removes a lot of what you really feel about dragons doesn't it?

Sure they're still intelligent, but they don't have that odd charm of being a magnificent beast that has that intelligence.

>Turning a dragon human just removes a lot of what you really feel about dragons doesn't it?
Absolutely not, in fact it personally enhances their mystique. It reminds me that my partner is just as capable of guile, seduction and charm as much as raw physical and elemental fury; the BBEG turning out to be a vile dragon in disguise is one of the classic staples of table-top, after all?

>Sure they're still intelligent, but they don't have that odd charm of being a magnificent beast that has that intelligence.
And I'm not arguing for the dragon to remain in humanoid form all the time, I'm saying a dragon should not and would not remain a Wyrm if they wanted to get comfortable and intimate with their significant other.

Do dragons masturbate?

Why? If anyone can get a date, it's a dragon.

So when two silver dragons are making love, do they do it in human form and not dragon form?

When the dragon is a recurring enemy that just wants to talk but always ends up being too embarrassed, so she tries to cover it up by making a few ineffectual attacks and then running away.

Don't be dense, I'm talking about humanoid x dragon relationships, not dragon x dragon.

That said, silver dragons might actually be a type of dragon that does it in Humanoid form, they're kinky like that.

When it makes cute babies.

>When is it acceptable to lay the dragon?

When she is in her human form and gives consent.

>do they do it in human form and not dragon form?

People seriously underestimate the luxury of thumbs and fingers, the humanoid body is significantly more pliable for pleasure (especially sexual) compared to a big ole frumpy dragon frame.

Like, let me use the Winter Wolves of Pathfinder as an example; they're vicious and proud, possess a malignant intelligence and have a society built around domination and enslavement. So what do they do when Baba Yaga shows up and says, "Hey, bitches, if you promise to be the guardians of my capital in Whitethrone, I'll let you take on humanoid forms in The Howlings?"

They accepted without question, because it meant having hands to grasp, bodies to dress in finery, mouths that allow them to taste wine or chew on delicious meats, and genitals that can be used in more than two positions. Being a four-legged beast with a thinking mind SUCKS if you want to do more than mount a bitch or trample through the countryside.

So will there be live babies or eggs? And if there are eggs, how long does that egg stay in her body and how long it takes for it to hatch?

Depends on the mother.

If the mother (dragon or not) was humanoid, than it's a live birth. Female dragons can not get pregnant in dragon form by a humanoid, even if the parts were scaled up (as per Enlarge Person) or her dragon form was scaled down.

If impregnated, a female dragon must remain in humanoid form and carry the child to term. This means a female dragon will only get impregnated by a humanoid if they're either extremely confident in their ability to defend themselves, or they have an extreme amount of trust in the father.

I usually rule that transformation, voluntary or otherwise, is flat-out impossible while pregnant, unless it's a powerful enough of an effect to allow transforming the fetus as well.

If anything, I'd imagine that carrying a human pregnancy to term would be more comfortable in their dragon form. Of course, birth would probably be more problematic in it, but given the available space once the pregnancy developed it'd probably be far easier on the mother.

When you break its mind with a love potion then show affection so that the effect becomes permanent.

I just did this and now have a crystal dragon waifu. I am not ashamed I am putting my DM through this.

When you have the ten thousand gold pieces to spend.

My character in our current game regularly wastes rewards and treasure on his dragon call-girl waifu.

>Having your Dragon partner turn into a human when you fuck

>Not having your Dragon partner turn YOU into a Dragon when you fuck

Plebeians.

Hell yes.

As long as my dragon partner turns me in to a girl dragon I'm ok with it.

>having either of you two transform when your partner is a dragon

Plebian.

>dragon call-girl waifu

Dear diary,

Today I've found a desire so strong, so pure, that I shall make it my life's goal to attain it.

You're just a fetishist.

This is Veeky Forums. We're all fetishists here.

It's sad because the "turns into human form" thing is the majority opinion by normies, but I can't actually express that opinion with normies because otherwise I've displayed my power level... But when I say it here, I'm the minority!

I'm pretty sure it's only a fetish when you want to fuck them as a dragon. But hey, everyone's got their own fetishes that they keep in the closet.

That's what the person asked for, fucking the dragon as a dragon.

Most expensive call girl ever.

Yeah, that'd definitely be a bit on the fetishistic side.

Well worth it.

Funny thing is, she's almost become the closest thing to a Big Good our campaign has. She's pretty concerned about the events and the BBEG's deeds and occasionally sends my character on sidequests.

shit the searches are all coming up nothing, got a source?

>not fucking in both your true forms

Fag.
Why would you not want to pleasure your beautiful Dragon waifu, with your own human cock?

There are very few "normies" here.

>having access to shapeshifting and not at least trying every possible combination of forms