[repost] immersion and off-topic banter in RPGs

Serious question for the DMs out there: is immersion a meme? I am not the most captivating speaker and I am not the most creative person but I am good enough at improvising content that I can usually keep a game running pretty well. I know I am at least an average GM.

Now from time to time we get this "oh by the way" itch while you are running the game, as some aspect of it reminds you of either something else that happened or some other shit. Now, after years of DMing I have realized that if you don't train yourself to suppress that ADHD urge, your game will continually get derailed. But sometimes I feel like I am the only person who has that. Now, I've played with groups ranging from a bunch of 50-something grognards to early teens to my normal group(s) who are in their early-to-mid-twenties. And I have played quite a bit with my family. Now the older folks are pretty low-energy but still quite focused which is good. There is still plenty of humor and joking but the game is focused. And when I play with my family (when I get the chance) we are focused and get shit done.

But when I play with my friends I feel like every other word is some off-topic shit. I completely lose my immersion in the game. And on the occasions we play with a subset of the group and get into the roleplaying, we REALLY get into it. Like, I forget where I am, like a good movie, it really sucks me in. But this is becoming more and more the exception. I've considered a "no phones" rule because players will be showing us memes in the middle of me trying to talk and shit. And will be talking about random animes or star wars shit, or will mention something and all the sudden it's "OMG you haven't seen that youtube video? he needs to see it right now!"

Is this my fault? They love the campaign and love my GMing, they shower me with adulation even though I have many flaws I am aware of. Is there a way to get them more immersed? I've been running games for years, I foreshadow and cliffhanger without even being aware of it until later, I run the combats when they happen like a well-oiled machine. yet it's still not enough? Am I alone in this issue? Is there a solution?

Also sorry for literally copy pasting a thread I made last night but it kinda died before I got many replies.

Different groups find different things satisfying. For some, that deep immersion and a few hours of heated roleplay is ideal. For others, the game is a setting for socialization. Ask your groups which they prefer; if they want the deep shit, put that much extra effort in and make them relish it. If they just want a beer and pretzels night, that opens up other things as well; besides the different atmosphere and humor you could try running some different board games every once in a while, or trick them into roleplaying with Everyone is John or something.

Fuck immersion.

Some people play rpgs not to be the epiphany of storytelling but to have fun with friends. Stop trying to force a group out of badwrongfun reasons.

The only thing that is real at the table are the player. Immersion can be cool, but in the end you are still playing a game and not everyone wants to act as a fictional character in the same way.

Ask the group if they want to be immersed or if they feel comfortable with the fun they have. You are the problem if you want others to be immersed without their buy in.

This has been a topic that video games designers have been discussing lately too. One thing that came up that I liked was that "immersion" is kind of a misnomer. Engagement is the term we should be using.

Like you said, it's a range for different people. Partially based on what they want. Most people play games for "fun," but that word doesn't mean the same thing to everyone.

So, my group is always getting derailed, and the group hates it. I'm one of the key offenders (I came off my ADHD medication about 8 years ago, and though I've come on in leaps and bounds in other ways, my attention span is still shot to hell and I can't keep things on track as the DM that easily), but theres a couple others in the group who derail things a lot. One guy doesn't derail initially, but he'll extend things and insist on finishing what he's saying before we get back on track, by which point people will reply to him and it'll turn into a half an hour long thing. The other guy talks loudly and over anybody telling him to shut up because we want to get on with it (resistance is futile).

What can I do to make the others stay on topic, and what can I do to help myself focus on the game and not talk out of character and continue a joke or a meme or something? My main issue is that I get excitable and join in with anything funny being said, and I often go off topic talking about what would be funny or if I linked the game to something funny.

The problem is that half of the group hates this so much, and the other side causes it continually.

Different strokes for different folks. I have enjoyed various games with different approaches to immersion.

I've enjoyed Only War games where nobody has a character, just a mini with stats on it. The battles where engaging and the banter added to the fun.
I've enjoyed games where there is some semblance of story, but we stop every now and again to tell a thing we remembered and have a laugh.
I've also enjoyed hardcore immersion-centric games where you aren't even allowed to talk if your character isn't the room.

In the end of the day, it falls down to pre-game expectations, execution and personal taste. There is no "right" way to play a game, only the mutually agreed one.

sauce?

No thanks, I drop my spaghetti raw.

bump