The captain of the guard appears to be a woman

>The woman reverts to dragon form mid coitus

Perhaps better than the reverse.

Her ability in combat and tactics are greater than the men she commands. Explore the local culture to see if the populace is dumb and start looting if the answer is yes.

Standard protocol, then.

>a feudal/monarchy society person in a position of leadership must be highly competent

righto

>the man transforms to goblin form at the end of being killed

???

>What might we conclude from this?

That she's the captain of the guard and so can probably kick my ass.

The ol' knee to the junk cheap shot will be slightly less effective if we're caught pilfering and have to bust out.

>can probably kick my ass

How would you test this?

A captain of a town or city guard might not be nobility. It'd help, maybe, but it all depends on the culture and time period.

Shit, Othello was a mercenary but he became a general. And he was a Moor. Yet it wasn't weird enough to make the play unrealistic.

Start a fight in the street right in front of her, duh.

The guard is incompetent.

She's probably really fucking good at managing guardsmen and crime prevention measures.

1. The men in that country are shit fighters.
2. Her father was a very large man, gifting her with natural ability.
3. That country is overly progressive and chose a captain based on her gender rather than her ability.
4. She just happens to be good enough at the job to qualify.
5. The DM has a thing for femdom and muscle girls and can't contain himself.

That she might be a woman. Or an elfman. Or a really tall pre-teen that stole his dad armor.

>knee to junk
>working against any experienced person with their adrenaline going

If it's a hard realism game I'll assume she's on the ornamental side, with implied implications about actual violence being rare or the noble family being corrupt.

If it's a regular fantasy game, nbd, she's probably a regular competent guard.

Oh, you say that, but there was definitely some guy who on Ye Olde Foure-Chan after he saw that play and wrote something like "Wm. Shakespurr be a hacke. In his latest shite-show, he hath an lead character who is of Moorish blood become general of an royale army based upon no merit of his owne. It seems Msr. Shakes is now a Warror for the Justice of Societie, and makes the masses suffer under his pen. I shall patron the Globe Theatre no more."

This person's probably tougher than your average guard. Probably gives more XP if you kill them, as well.

>The throaty voice of the barbarian envoy was heard coming from the captain's bed-chambers

That this is a fantasy setting, where conventional biology doesn't apply, and we should tread cautiously, because she'd be just as dangerous as a male in her posituon.

That she is childless?

1. She's trained her entire life to not only match but surpass the other guards of the village.
2. She was gifted the position potentiality being related to someone of importance within the village.

3. The village's population has been ravaged by fighting bandits/orcs/whatever else nearby and positions are being filled by anyone available.

All equally viable.

>working on anyone over the age of 10, 5 if they have a sister
FTFY

>The captain of the guard appears to be a woman.
>'appears' to be a woman.
>Captain of the guard is actually a very feminine bishi dex-fighter with the best boipussy this side of the mountains.

He's a lesbian.

It's a trap.

Mostly that i wanna know if she's a goer wink wink nudge nudge knowwhatimean saynomore

that we are observing, and have eyes
that women exist
that guards exist
that guards have ranks
that this is a captain
that she comes from somewhere that allows one to be a captain, a guard, and a woman at the same time.

>Start fucking her even faster

That she can catch my peeny-neeny

>What might we conclude from this?

Either she's really, really good or the local watch is really, really corrupt.

Captains don't have to fight, just command. Leadership isn't as biological as physical muscle mass. If you have muscle and great fighting skill that at best buys you sergeant. After that you need skill at resolving tricky investigations to keep nobles happy, skill at handling major criminal affairs like riots and such, skill at commanding and recruiting men who are good at that stuff, or just plain political savvy.

All you can assume is that she is at least reasonable politically savvy for keeping the job, reasonably combat-experienced for getting to stay alive, and not actively unpopular with the guardsmen.

...

That OP is making a male/female bait thread on Veeky Forums.

Nonsense, we can also conclude that we are dealing with a sufficiently advanced society that multiple full time LEOs are required in at least one urban center. You are so focused on the female that you failed to see the most useful parts of the statement for concluding useful information.

It's poor judgement to make assumptions and conclusions from a single fact taken out of context, but the key word in your sentence is 'appears' so that's what we'll focus on.

Any number of situations could explain this, if the situation warrants suspicion or seems unusual based on the setting.
-It's actually just a very androgynous dude who wears his hair long.
-It could be a man cursed by some witch to constantly appear female. If you look at him in a mirror you can see his true form.
-It could be that she really is a woman, and the guard actually votes for their captain like modern day sheriffs, and she managed to sleep or bribe her way into the position.
-The job is mostly clerical, logistical, social, and political work. Scheduling shifts. Managing the organization. Ensuring a positive morale in the guard, and a positive reputation by everyone else.
-She's actually a witch, and thus can charm and beguile her way into doing anything. It just so happens this particular witch has a strong sense of justice and national pride.

Sure, I believe you. Super Satan.

as always, proceed with caution. Many women throughout history have led successful armies into battle, and won repeatedly. as long as the soldiers are all men you give due respect to their abilities. if the soldiers are all women, proceed with caution anyways but one good cavalry charge should end it.

You lead a losing war effort against a massive kingdom when you receive a sudden and shocking proposition from the enemy king: allow his armies to encircle, overrun, and capture the entirety of the king's guard regiment, and your men shall be spared. The famous captain of the guard, all of her elite, and the troops under her command are to do with as the enemy pleases now and forevermore.

You confirm that this position which the king's guard regiment was defending will not lead to a vulnerability in your defenses. Though thousands will hate you, their lives will be spared if you allow a single regiment to be betrayed, routed, and shackled to the enemy's dungeons.

What is the proper conclusion to this?

That the guard can't fight for shit.

It's pillaging time.

This. We can conclude shes probably a bitch who will hassle perfectly legal adventuring groups looking for a payoff.

+4 STR

I searched for the -4 STR meme, but it wasn't in this thread. I am disappointed in you, Veeky Forums

Nuts!

youtube.com/watch?v=iGtEH1i78sI

You deserve a (you) for that one because it was funny.

That this dump should be easy enough to conquer. Just have your soldiers show up claiming to be refugees and the gates should open right up.

the enemy player has at least 6 mana

The only correct answer

Rated

we can conclude that the GM is trying to appeal to my fetish, in order to lure me into some kind of trap. Obviously the best course of action is to leave town immediately in order to thwart any bullshit that the DM has prepared for this session.

Ask her out, as women in uniform are my, uh, my character's fetish. Haha.

I actually really like that card.

In EDH.

>No boobplate
That's obviously a very feminine man user

>many
There's like 10... 20 tops, and most that made a name for themselves were just accomplished warriors, not actual leaders of armies.

YOUR STRENGTH IS AS THE STRENGTH OF TEN, BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS TRUE.

Her armor is practical and utilitarian, sugesting low fantasy. Yet she doesn't use a spear and doesn't strike me as a swordswoman.

Conclusion: the local culture values commanders for their ability to command, not fight. This is troulesome. This level of military meritocracy leads to things like Subutai, winner of 65 battles while being so fat that he was carried by a wagon.

'You didn't realize your wife was a dragon?'
'I always thought it was cute the way she wiggled her leg when I rubbed her belly. Stuffing the mattress with gold was a bit weird though...'
Sadly, no pics or scans of the Hackmaster comic this came from.

The dude won 65 battles. I'm sure his country would rather they remain unconquered than their commander go for a jog.

It's less that they were at risk of being conquered and more that he commanded the conquest of more territory than any other general in human history.

>appears to be a woman
subtle

Well, shit, then the nigga deserves to eat cake and chill out.

>2. Her father was a very large man, gifting her with natural ability.
I like it.
He was also overly protective of her so she didn't have many friends when she was a kid, so her father raised her like a man.
He was also the captain of the city guard so she grew up on the walls with anything but soldiers around her. So she smells bad, burps and farts on a regular basis and will fight the party if they look at her too long

She's either very skilled or well connected. Maybe both.

>Obviously the best course of action is to leave town immediately in order to thwart any bullshit that the DM has prepared for this session.
rocks falls, you die

I conclude that I should address the captain as "Ma'am" instead of "Sir"?

With things like magic and enchanted items easily bridging and negating gaps in ability and skills, I'm not just going to assume a woman is any less capable than a man. I've seen a gnome beat a half-orc in arm wrestling because of a strip of leather around his waist, so I'm sure as hell not going to fuck with the guard captain regardless of gender, unless I've identified their equipment and natural skills.

that or she got her ass draft

Isn't putting your money under the mattress a fairly common way to protect it against burglars?

>What might we conclude from this?
That she is probably more dangerous than any of her underlings simply by virtue of having had to go that extra mile to prove her worth on account of being a woman.

File under "do not fuck with."

"I didn't realize my wife was a dragon" sounds like the name of a comedy anime

In a game? She may or may not be a competent person.

In real life? Diversity hire.

A few POSSIBILITIES:

1.) She's a badass.
2.) She has an influential relative.
3.) She sucked a lot of dicks.

>All three

Why is Veeky Forums so wholesome and wonderful, lads?

You can't conclude anything with a single data point. All you can do is make a bunch of suppositions, any one of which could be completely, partially or not at all right.

The point is, they were the exception not the rule and were rare enough not to leave a lasting impact on the culture,

...

That OP is a faggot.

ever heard of the story of the man who thought the rabbit who hung out with the lions was the easiest prey?

Do not underestimate the bun.

Clearly the guard isn't taking its job very seriously. Either a shitton of men died recently or the society is so safe, that even a woman can become a guard.

Even today, female "police officers" routinely struggle with taking down drunk(!) men. In countries like Sweden (yes) this can happen because it's (for the forseeable future) a relatively safe country, and the Old Swedes are a generally law-abiding folk.

This town has so little crime that the captain of the guard is largely and administrative and/or ceremonial position.

That maybe the men of this area were killed in a war it any other tragic event. Or maybe like the Spartans while the men are out fighting the women have a lot of power.

>What might we conclude from this?
that all i have to do is wait for her time of the month before attacking the city as her judgement and combat prowess will be greatly diminished

>Can't romance her
>Can't accidentally have a threesome where She and Isabela hate-fuck it out
Fucking Bioware

>crusader.jpg

that the GM is into femdom

She's a loose canon that plays by her own rules, but dammit, she gets RESULTS!

Whoreson if you wanted us to fight harder you could have just asked.

>2 and 5 minus the femdom
Lyris hit all the right spots

I just want a strong qt3.14 to squat and diddy lift with.

Discreetly inform the king's guard, work to set up an ambush while getting the leader out in case everything goes south. Do everything possible to ensure a victory and chance at devastating a part of the enemies army, if all else fails fight to the last man.

>minus the femdom
Son, are you gay?