/cyoag/ - CYOA General

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I think you are allowed to pick as many choices as you want, as long as you pick at least one from both columns.

"God sucks" edgy atheist edition.

>EVERYONE:
>Immortality
Is this God or fucking monkey pawn? Holy shit picking this will make you history's greatest monster. People dying sucks and I don't agree that life needs to end for it have purpose but there actually are some very good reasons why you might want to die.
First of all, aging is frozen, no set to some ideal age, which will kinda suck a fucking lot to anyone old or young.
Second, it's great that God specifies that people can suffer and not die when malnutrion and lack of clean water is massive problem around the world. Pick this and guarantee that even the mercy of death is denied to them. Also if someone decides to nuke this planet, we will all starve endlessly.
Third, personal Immortality says "you won't get sick", whereas this only says "diseases will no longer be able to kill a human". So people can still get sick, they just can't die from it. So anyone getting AIDs and Ebola will be converted into eternally screaming lump of flesh that sprays blood all around. Refugee crisis nothing, what will emerge across the Mediterranean Sea will make Dead Space look like romantic comedy.
Also nothing about population control so eventually outmost parts of the humanity pile will be able to colonize stars. And I don't mean the planets orbiting those stars, altho those will be colonized too. I mean the actual stars. Literally. All will be colonized by the ever expanding lump of humanity. Unless of course the fetus counts as person. At least we'll get answer to that question. Hopefully if this is the case, it will be early in the development, might get awkward otherwise. Is abortion murder if the fetus is immortal or if it's performed before God considers it person enough for immortality?


>Love
I honestly don't see why you wouldn't pick this. It doesn't even come with "this doesn't apply to you" drawback. I guess if you want everyone to die alone and unloved, you can skip this, in which case, hi fellow Finn.

>Beauty
Standards of beauty have repeatadly shifted over time. No idea if this will keep upgrading people as they shift again. Whatever. Again, there's very little reason to not pick this. I feel like this and Love should maybe be choice between them and the angel waifu and Mirror. But there's no mention of it at the top and the rows don't match anyway. Whateveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

>THREE WORLD CHOICES
I don't know what happens if you pick Advancement and Magic Adventure. Maybe space ships, maybe magitech. I don't care. Do what feels good. I'm gonna say tho that suddenly sending world into medieval stage either puts a lot people into position where they must switch from IT work to subsistence farming, which will probably kill a people, or change their skills, memories and possibly personalities to fit their new life, which could be argued to be a kind of murder. Unless the new wizard working is exactly like IT work, in which case you just replaced tech with magic and nothing changed. Good news however is that God really doesn't give a shit so who cares. I mean, he did offer the fucking Immortality. Maybe you'll get to bang a monstergirl. Except there's no charmisma upgrade so probably not.

>PERSONAL:
>Immortality
It's the good kind of immortality, kinda. No damage resistance, healing or pain immunity. Try to not get hurt.

>Malakhim
Angel waifu servant with big titties. Might have some kind of submission fetish. Even if you aren't into it, you get a free maid and if you don't pick her, she will be stuck in Heaven while God fucks off to bother the wizard, so maybe consider helping her escape.

>Mirror, Mirror
Guess God is just giving you shapeshifting powers because that will I don't fucking know, what the fuck God?

>Protagonist
Mirror can turn you into anime chick and now you can live anime too. Congrats, the struggle is over, anime is real.

>Multiplayer
Much like in video games, this is here to excuse the weak single player content.

Can we dedicate this thread to sad feline related cyoas?

Did you forget this, or did you not have it?
Or were you just about to post it and I got around to it just a little bit quicker than you (again)?

We need more sad CYOAs in general. This place needs to be as depressed as I am.

No. We'll have happy cats.

Do you want me to make a depressing pet CYOA?

The mandatory. I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror. I'm honestly not sure what's even going on with this CYOA. It feels like it's some half finished WIP do not steal but the Drive had several version and layout looks finished.

Let's see what Satan has to offer.

>I'm not sure why this is even a thing with the Mirror.
Because people kept asking for it, IIRC.

In suprise twist, Satan's offers aren't nowhere near as bad as the humanity lump, what the fuck God?

It's old as balls. Most CYOAs from when it was made would amount to quickly-forgotten shitposts now.

Happy you say?

I DON'T SEE ENOUGH BOYS' LOVE

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Another torched thread

I'm posting this in hopes tha- Hope is firs step on road to disappointment. Whatever.

>Be the little girl
>Cuteness overload
>Sweets
>Sporty
>Magical girl

Time to punish evil with the justice of fire!

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You should never lose hope.

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>cyoa offers you immortality for no reason
>stop reading and start shitposting

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>cyoa offers you perfect immortality
>without letting you change your appearance

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I'm trying to murder all shitposters with my mind powers. If any of you suddenly see a bright light appearing, please walk into it.

Give me some magical hobo related item ideas.

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>disregard hobos
>acquire husbandos

>spend one hour trying to balance numbers for a category
>keep upping the numbers into absurdity to get enough granularity
>forgot to link two columns.

Shoot me now.

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Bag of Holding
Magical papers that always give the user credentials to be in an area
Ring of social invisibility
Sleeping bag of protection from elements.
Flute of animal charming

You forgot to list your choices for the first page:

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A can of soup you can't open properly, but unless someone does, it'll give you a meal's worth of tomato soup a day.

>link columns.
Sorry what do you mean by this? I'm trying to balance my own one.

But lets you pick both?

WORM 5 Update Version
I heard you were making it.
Is there a WIP?

Unnagrounds hobo civilisation.

I didn't make any because free will is an illusion and none of our choices matter.

Also someone else posted the box and I messed up my posts because I had to edit it on fly and decided to post the satan cyoa.

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wtf jesus, I just wanted to be on your side

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So this is basically "It's such a beautiful day" the cyoa option.

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I used an openoffice calc sheet to calculate possible combinations of interacting choices because I didn't want things to vary too much.

I had a bunch of static data and then lots of cells with possible mechanics. To make the changing of the mechanics easier I duplicated some of the static entries. But when edited the data I forgot to edit the duplicate too and some of the cells were still pointing at those.

The affected cells had a mechnic in them that actually supported the error, so I didn't notice.

I'll probably finish it tomorrow or the day after that. There is no need for a WIP.

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I didn't even notice they were connected. I don't like any of the choices that affect everyone, but I'll take Love because it seems the least negative. I'll take Mirror, mirror for myself so I can get a penis for banging the waifu.

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ENOUGH WITH THE WAIFUS

>le pretend to be against waifus to get more waifus trick

I'm a professional. You can't fool me, old man.

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Yes, we need more husbandos.

>
Tell me about it. How fucking long is this shit?

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Bindle Bundle: Has any normal hand held gear a hobo could need when tapped and unfolded. Things like matches, smokes, fishing rod, water purifier etc..

Magnificent Mulligan: Everfull stew, tastes better the more other hobos contribute to it.

Suave Top Hat: When worn gives you the gift of gab. Able to talk people into doing mostly reasonable things. Has a subtle aura of trust and charisma.

Briquette Banjo: Small shovel that lights a fire on command or gives off heat.

California Blanket: Magical old newspaper section that will stave off bad weather and make any surface comfortable to sleep on.

Maeve Medallion: Turns you into the little girl hobo.

7 League Loafers: Worn shoe insert that lets you travel 21 miles with a few steps.

I wonder why it's so fucking shit.

29 pages. Not too bad. Someone posted The Order couple threads ago, that one is about 45.

It never ends user, this thing is gonna kill us all.

26 pages

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>this thread

See, with this much content we really would need a website/program for display to save space.

Who even has the patience/time to upload such a mege cyoa?

I might be using all of this, thank you for your contribution.

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A magical locket that you can store money in. People who find it instead of seeing the money will see a picture of you and a made-up family member like a daughter that invokes a feeling of sympathy and compels them to return it to you.

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1/5

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Who, indeed.

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2/5

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3/5

Also, someone started posting pages in the middle of me posting them and now apparently deleted one of them?
I mean, it's nice since the order doesn't matter so much for this but I was near the end anyway.

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Broken Timepiece: Lets you rewind time by 15 minutes, without affecting yourself if you desire. Enjoy that meal a second time.

Cowardly Compass: points north regardless of magnetic fields. On command points to the safest way out of any situation/area you're in.

Rusty Pocketknife. Lets you carve hobo nickles or wood into masterful items/art for sale/trade to others

4/5

Posting the new info collections since the new CYOA was posted.

No, that's the 5th page. Pages 2, 3, and 4 are companions.

for some reason in the drive it had it as 2, so I went with it
5/5

>new CYOA
Meant "newer version of the CYOA", as opposed to the older one.

The issue with this one is that you choose one waifu and then the options that waifu presents are usually a mix of good and stupid so it feels like any other decision is made for you.

That and given its a waifu CYOA over 20 something pages long I can't help but feel that maybe the waifus could have used more than one character trait each.

for fuck sake stop posting 30 pages long CYOA, there should be a max page authorized like 10 or 5 because fuck. Ways too much waifu CYOA too and the waifus are all little girl, it doesnt fucking interests me i want WOMAN with EXPERIENCE and not happy or cute that will suck you the first time you meet her

also this "being a little girl" meme
this break the CYOA

Relax, Italics, no need to be so mad.

end of rine

You couldn't make it more obvious that you're trying to stuff as many disliked opinions as possible into your post to trigger a response.

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SHSL Hope Dope!

I know you're a shitpost, which terrifies me as I agree with everything you said.