Post stories about the worst DMs you ever had

My DM tries to force us into his (poorly written) story. Like, railroading to the point that we can't even explore or anything on our own.

He inserted TWO DM controlled characters into the party (both of which are homebrewed and completely broken) despite the fact that they weren't needed.

He also allowed a couple of the players to bring in homebrew classes which are also completely broken. Like a gunslinger who can fire 3 shots a turn, all of which will one-shot most enemies. The 'downside' of this class is supposed to be that ammo is INSANELY expensive, but the problem is are DM doesn't take track of item/shop costs.

Another character just flat out can't die. He just regenerates.

There's more, but that's the worst I can think of off the top of my head.

>DM want tips and critics
>Say his NPCs are interesting, but their speech feels like it's pre-written, and it will be great to have some sideplots
>Got my character's plothooks cut off because DM was not pleased

Next game

>Space redneck hobo accidentely slips into cutscene meant for scientist PC
>Whole scene looks like vidya bug, NPCs treat hobo like a scientist, hobo ends up dead
>Plot is destroyed
>Everyone dies because no one noticed that one particular NPC said one very important word

>>Everyone dies because no one noticed that one particular NPC said one very important word
Ugh, reminds me of another pretty bad GM.

>paranormal shittery game
>we are three sessions in and only violence works
>all prayers and wards stop the demons as efficiently as flowers stop tanks
>random priest knocks on a PC's door
>gives him a talisman and a prayer
>PC wears talisman but learns prayer
>demons do complete outbreak
>PC with prayer dies on the first round
>the rest of the party is permanently trapped with demons because they can't recite the prayer they don't know exists
>mfw gm doesn't even try to find a way for them to learn about the prayer
>mfw I'm the dead guy

> That one DM who spends two hours on a scene where a trader haggles with a single PC over the price of a piece of leather amour

>That one DM who decides that haggling for leather armor must get tied in the plot somehow and makes it ungodly difficult to just get the damn thing
>That one DM that is willing to spend an entire session with the PCs haggling leather armor with a very sweaty man that isn't evil I promise
>That one DM that ditches the game after we refuse to buy anything ever again in fear of haggling for five sessions straight

Make the memories go away

>DM forces ERP to get infos/quests/loots

That was the second most gayest shit I have ever did

>Roll nat 1
>Let wacky thing that hurts yourself happen

I'd tell that DM to go fuck himself with a cactus.

Had a DM do something like this. Thing is the party split was something the DM could have seen from miles away but it seems he didn't have anything planned to deal with it. It's especially bad when you consider that the outcome could be decided by skill checks.

End result was everyone drifting off to do their own thing whilst the DM and one player would go through special story stuff an entire dimension removed from the rest of us. The pace of the campaign was already incredibly slow too, and this dragged it to a crawl. At one point this took up over half a session and it ended afterwards so the rest of us may as well have just left an hour in instead of taking up our time.

Wasn't the worst DM though. The worst we had basically just wrote a book with skill checks in it.

>second most gayest shit i have ever does
what's the first [\spoiler]

'dm' takes 23 minutes at adjudicate a web spell. Turns to me: you have 6 seconds!

whines about all the stuff I carry and claims I'm over the limit. I pass my character sheet to another player who tallys it and sez I botched the math.I'm 20+ lbs under

Does not read up on hazard rules and changes them to make out decisions wrong so he can poke fun at us

>yall mofucks didnt get out of the truck why?

Because it seemingly was written out of existence. Even when we tried to talk to each other IC and start some banter, the GM just told us to roll perception, we failed and then nothing happened while he got back to Solid Snake going inside the base.

>first time playing NWoD
>GM gives us all info on where to make character sheets and how
>tells us to use whatever materials we find
>oh fuck mages are awesome
>make mage
>arrive at session ~20 minutes early
>he's remaking a character with someone and shooting down everything
>already other sheets in trash
>others are sitting at table with handwriting that looks similar to eachother's sheets
>eventually everyone is given premade characters
>starts reading long intro in which he essentially describes everything our characters are doing
>kills two when he's finished with a 'by the way'
>calls the session to a close saying he has 'nothing else prepared'
>why did he even have us here
>never show up again

No seriously, what? What the fuck?

He seriously had a 20 minute monologue and that was it. I can't even remember most of it. I think he mostly talked about how literally every character was divorced now or something.

Worst GM I've ever had was for a pokemon tabletop game over Roll20. She was very excited to run the game, so we were pumped too... up until that moment during the first session where the sister of one of the PCs revealed she was pregnant and about to marry a fire-type monkey pokemon.

That wasn't the lowest point, though. Almost immediately following that a particularly androgynous PC was kidnapped by a Chad prince of the country to be royal boipussy. Got married against his will and everything.

Now, I thought this was hilarious because I wasn't taking it very seriously, but the player of that PC was pretty distressed, so I went over and rescued him (even though the GM kept trying to make it impossible). Eventually we escaped and started planning regicide so the new "princess" could dig some gold out of the rapist's death. The barkeep magically heard us talking about it and told us about the legendary power of the princes of this kingdom to know their true love at first sight, and that everyone knows it's true and we should believe it too.

At this point I was so creeped out by the sheer example of magical realm that I unplugged my router to fake connection issues.

Pic related

Yes, poke-fucking was socially accepted and led to viable pregnancies. We didn't stick around long enough to see the abomination get birthed.

...

Is this bait?
>brings up edition wars shit even though it isn't at all relevant to the story
>complains about Dark Sun being harder than the average D&D game
>complains that a convention game is pre-planned
>complains that a convention game is railroaded

/thread.

>playing an RPG for the first time
>vampire the masquerade
>don't remember most of it, basically we had to interrogate the boss of that arc
>reach her office, combat happens and sheit
>we are trying to leave her alive so we can interrogate her
>then all of the sudden she fucking dies in her turn
>"wtf who killed her"
> there is an NPC in a corner of the office
> "yeah, he has been there all the time, you just didn't look"
>he escapes or wathever
>never play that game again (actually played more games with the same DM)

They way you write I'd say you deserve the worst of DMs.

> pathfinder
> "steampunk" setting
> we are a team of 3 in a enemy army camp. My Dragon disciple friend uses an invisibility spell and Flyes up to study the camp
> rolls something like a 23 in perception
> "what do i see?" " .... nothing... its a camp"
> DM doesent want to reveal the camp map so he decides to get down and esplore sthealth
> stealth check 25
> as soon as he put foot in the camp an OP guard catches
> "the terrain is muddy, you didn't noticed that
> campaign abandoned like Two session later

>Barbarian died because a nat 1 meant he "bounced his sword off the wall, skewering himself" dealing enough damage to instakill apparently, fuck death saving throws am I right?
I'm all for having dumb shit happen on a 1 but this is beyond retarded.

Pottery

I did this shit. It was my first game, and I immediately realised my mistake...

>Give the plot hook to one of the characters
>'infiltrate the bad guys' palace!'
>player decides it'd be safer to go it alone
>I make it clear this is a big thing, not just a quick one.. they can investigate dozens of rooms that are planned
>I show him the worksheets I've made for each room where they can write down who is going to which rooms and what their spot/search checks are, and various d100 rolls which will determine what happens on the inside
>going it alone
>the rest of the party went into the other room and my now-husband ran some side quest for them
>they had way more fun than me
>player I was stuck with eventually tries to pvp and leads to everyone wanting to move on
>regret everything

>20 lv 20 DMPC's. For a lv 1 campaign. All the foes are lvs 1-4.
>A few of them show up every time anyone anywhere takes damage.
>Asked to be allowed to take risk and suffer losses.
>you want to do that how about you DM.
>DM'ed for next 3 Years.

Also

>Co-Dm's
>Never willing to give a strait answer about anything.
"White flakes fall from the sky. Is it snow? Is it chipped bones from a giant skeleton or sugar? You'll never know!" Or "your walking on brown stuff. No I won't call it dirt, sod or even looking like dirt! No neither of your trained rangers can figure out what it is!(it was dirt mixed with mud, because it was snowing)"
>every NPC with a speaking role walks around with their armies, never less then 1,000 men. No in said armies will speak in your presence.
Ended after the first session when everyone decided that the only way to bring peace to the world wasn't to fight the other morally gray armies but to dedicate our lives to peace and inspiring others into non violent solutions to problems. Also to figure out what the fuck was falling from the sky, if their was in fact a sky, and what color you could call said sky.

>Dark Sun setting
>Like, 3 mages in the group and nobody cares
>Very first session we encounter something imbued with divine magic
>Oh hey, the treasure has like 4 metal items in it
>A tankard item? Oh, it can generate any liquid... Infinitely... Well, goodbye water scarcity.
>You're teleporting us GM? W-well okay. Wait, 4 times? Across the entire setting? The fuck?
>Oh hey, we've been captured by a Sorcerer king... O-oh, so you're playing him as not being a bad guy?
>Okay so he wants us to work for him? Like, us the group of level 2 shit-kickers?
>S-so this guy we're looking at right now, given he just threw us at a portal... You're literally going to describe him to us as level 30? And he forces us to drink this reality-breaking potion thing which stops anyone from knowing what we saw here?
>And the Sorcerer-King doesn't care that we came back literally incapable of telling him what we saw?
>And you mention that next session we're going to be investigating a Starjammer?

And I never talked to that GM again.

Had a GM do this about a year or two ago and it was great. Mainly because the player he was pushing out of focus was an insufferable retard that wasn't invested in the game at all.

Pf
DM full of himself, he thinks he's a great actor
He writes a settings and a story
Which characters we are is indifferent we just have to participate to his story
There is only a way to do things or the game stops
If we try to do something else DM uses fucking god-like npcs to kill us
You can't roleplay of you aren't LG

I did 3 runs with this DM

One player that isn't giving half a shit is understandable. The entire party minus one guy is not.

Reading comprehension, my dude.

All of this makes me happy I have a normal group of spastics

They may have not been prepared to have an orcland sandbox for the players, and felt more comfortable railroading to the plot. Seems like too-familiar scenario.

>husband

Haha, queer

>i join his 5e game
>kill things, almost no rp, everything is fast travel from encounter to encounter.
>sessions with zero planning, adhoc plotlines that lead to nowhere
>anything the party plans to do is derailed by his DMPCs interfering
>players spout ebin memes at every opportunity
>he asks me why my character feels like it isn't part of the party

One of his dungeons had a puzzle where the answer was "pull the lever, and the thing you're on turns in to an elevator", only it took him 5 minutes of examining our surroundings until he told us there's a lever.

Seriously.

...

That sounds about par the course for any D&D ever. The system is practically made for that shit and anyone moving out of it has to houserule and otherwise go beyond what the rules are for.

why if i may ask? It appears that e misunderstood some concepts (''surprise round''), but that does not justify a nat-one-deals-autohit-self-kill-DM

You put memes in your writing and barely a step above texting.

The way most of these boring, badly written stories are typed, I'm detecting a fuck-load of same-fagging

Bad DM detected

>playing V:TM
>every NPC is a DMPC
>all of them are unique snowflakes that are either an incredibly rare clan, a weird creature or a combination of both of those
>one of them was literally a ghost, a magician and a Baali at the same time
>for some reason he also had three eyes and all of them were gems
>all of his NPCs act exactly the same: the act all tough and bossy, if you don't do exactly what they say, they instantly kill you with their weird OP powers
>at the end of every game he berates us on how bad we are at roleplaying our characters because we don't make them like the stereotypical [insert clan here] should act
>one day DM takes me apart from the group
>"come here, user, let me show you how Y make my NPC character sheets, I know I can trust you on this"
>he picks an empty character sheet and start putting maximum stats everywhere
>he also adds 4 or 5 points of Fortitude, Potence and Celerity
>looks at me with a big, proud, dumb smile on his face
>"and you make all of them like this?"
>"yup, each and every NPC you encounter, user"
>he keeps smiling like this is some sort of great accomplishment for him
>never show up to his games again

Probably. I've never done it.
I'm merely commenting on the writing quality however, silly

Decide to try dming for the first time because i have a wierd schedule 24 on 48 off and cant commit to a single day per week. Things go ok for a few weeks, doing a pf module, discover that my playera have bought the module guide, read ahead, maximzed thier pcs to curb stomp everything, know exacty where traps are etc, etc
Delete roll20 account never speak to them again.
Kinda feel bad about it

>different DM, but also playing Vampire
>before making our characters, DM tells us it's going to be some kind of spy-themed game, and we're a vampire squad
>sure, why not
>DM secretly tells me I'm a double agent and my objective is to sabotage the mission
>ok, let's roll with it
>make a Setite who looks fucking big and tough but actually put most of my points in social skills
>spend all the session gaining the other players trust
>at the end of the first session I'm basically the group's leader and everybody makes what I say
>pumped out because I'm gonna fucking kill this shit
>second session starts
>we get called to some lab where we met a few scientists and a kid
>"yeah, we have mutated vampire ADN to create a new discipline"
>wut
>"it's called omniscience"
>wut
>"this kid is now the most powerful vampire alive and also knows everything about everything"
>wut
>kid wants to talk to us
>"hey guys, did you know the setite is a fucking traitor?"

What the fuck.

>2 sessions in
>Omniscience
>superpowerful vampire child cooked up in a lab
>mutated vampire DNA

>>That one DM that ditches the game after we refuse to buy anything ever again in fear of haggling for five sessions straight

kek
thanks

remembered another game with the same guy

>6 or 7 years after that (last year I think)
>DM is in love with anima, organices a campaing
>but he is fucking lazy
>He just copies one, but it is not a premade campaing noooo
>It's a preplayed campaing
>what that means is that he downloaded another DM campaing transcript
>he spects us to do the same thing the players in the transcripts did
>for example
>"ok player, roll for perception" (dont remember if anima had perception or not, it was something like that)
>*SUCCESS
>you realize you need to pee
>he goes to the bathroom and nothing happened (probably the player in the transcription failed the roll, and that happened)
>bunch of shit like that, never went back
>the rest of the players fill me in on what was the second and final game
>trying to solve a mistery in a village
>they tried for hours
>they were supossed to talk to some exact person and say the same words the player used in the transcript

>>they were supossed to talk to some exact person and say the same words the player used in the transcript
That riles me up in the most unreasonable way.

I've got an axe to grind with my current GM, though he's mostly great.

We're playing Pathfailure. I'm the only one in the group with any real degree of system mastery.
The first time we made characters, all as a group, GM asked me to tune down some things. Yeah, sure, that's perfectly alright. Tuned down the things he asked me to, we played a couple sessions, all was good.
>"user, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
Ok, sure. Made another, different character. Worked with the GM on parts of it.
>"Great, user. This is great, what I wanted you to make the first time."
Uh, ok, not sure why you OK'd the first one then. Whatever. Played another few sessions.
>"user, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
>"Great, user. This is great, what I wanted you to make the first time."
ok.jpg, another few sessions.
>"user, I've been getting some complaints about your character, could you switch to a new one?"
Well what fucking complaints, since none of these characters have been mechanically similar. I need to know what's bothering people if I'm going to avoid it.
>"They're anonymous complaints, so I can't really say."
>"And can you try to change characters less, it's making it hard to work you into the plot."

WELL NO FUCKING SHIT I HAVE TO CHANGE CHARACTERS A LOT WHEN PEOPLE ARE BITCHING ABOUT SOME UNKNOWN THING ABOUT MY CHARACTERS AND YOU KEEP OKING THEM AND NEVER TELLING ME WHAT THE ISSUE WAS.
Jesus fuck, it shouldn't be this hard.

Who was it that drew this thing again?

Try not min-maxing and making the other players feel worthless.

I was running a fucking buffbard at first. LITERALLY ALL I was doing in combat was making everybody else kick ass.
I was the only one who had invested skill points in diplomacy, so the party ASKED me to handle talky shit.
You sir, can go fuck yourself, the problem lies not with me.

Then ask the party or quit the game if your GM is being such a shit.

Your story implies something might be wrong with you, or your group is shit.

Sounds like the game I just aborted.

>Mutated vampire DNA.
Even if dead cells could be mutated.
Ya lose it come sun up. Your corpse reverts to when you died.

>LISTEN

>1. I JUST woke up.
>2. I will talk to you ONCE i get my cup of morning joe.
>3. Once I've had my cup THEN you can proceed to roll your stats.
Why are DMs suddenly acting like this?

Doesn't sound like an unreasonable demand to me, now does it? I too have responsibilites and am cranky in the morning.

Might as well play a video game instead of a tabletop game then.

Wow. Just wow. I thought I had bad dms. Fuck me running.

Sounds like that DM would.

...

Your Waifu.

>Pokemon tabletop game over roll20

>me playing a thri-kreen gladiator, a ranger elf and a rogue halfling, all lv 2
Seems kinda unfair that you control three characters, user.

Why would you let that creeper be the co-dm after the 5 red flags from earlier? Just... God damn

fuck, beat me to it.

Holy shit I thought I was bad at running wod/cofd

Because that poster is a manlet and you shouldn't take his bait

That sounds like a punishment from a hidden camera show that thrives off cringe comedy

Why did he even set you up for the kill if he was just going to cook block you

>Playing pirate campaign
>Playing character with a gambling theme
>Tell the GM I'd like to get a derringer at some point
>Next island we get to a marketplace
>See a stall selling guns, one of them is a derringer
>I think "Oh cool he threw one into the game for me"
>I ask the merchant how much it is
>GM gives me some absurd price, way more than the price for a normal gun and way more than I have.
>"I guess I'll try and haggle with him"
>"He doesn't speak English"
>"Uh, okay. Well my slight of hand's really high, I guess I'll try and distract him and steal it."
>"You can't, it's locked in a case"
>...Seriously? Okay fuck it, I'm a pirate, I'll just smash the glass and rob it from the guy"
>"You can't, it's in a steel case"
>"What!? then how the fuck did I see it?"
>"...I don't know"
>Eventually I give up and somehow convince the rest of the party to lend me enough money to buy the thing
>I go back and he sells it to me
>"The gun breaks in your hand, it was made of Styrofoam"
>"...what?"
>*laughing* "yeah, it was a prop weapon store, you never bothered to read the sign"
At this point a player who's character wasn't even there got up and walked out. I followed him.

Excellent ending. Wish that happened more often.

>go to desert city to read ancient books while the elf and human fighter set up a shop.
>three steps in we're given a note by an old man who runs off and gets murdered
>attacked by assassins, we have to figure out how to meet the blind wizard
>fall in with thieves guild to get further in the city, they have us try and disgrace a guard captain.
>find out that he slaughtered an entire apartment building to cover up his torture of a guy.
>instead of me casting speak with dead, being the cleric, we are roped into making a deal with a capital E evil cleric of wee jas.
>Now the fighter will lose her soul in 30 days if we don't find the blind wizard, you know, the guy we were getting rid of the guard captain for so we could get to the district where the meeting is taking place.
>then we get betrayed by someone, get partial amnesia as we're forced into slave pits beneath the city
>no one know how long it's been, fighter doesn't remember what the numbers on her palm mean.
>change from 3.5 to 5
>no motivation to go on anymore
>I just wanted to read books.

That ending shows you have more common sense then most people here (me included)

What's the opposite of a that dm?

I hope that you left that group after this shit.

Someone who isn't DMing my games

A great GM?

To a certain degree, I would say that adds to the experience and shit. Though in the case of "roll nat 1 and you kill yourself", that is complete bullshit.

I was expecting more t b h.

That sounds like a spectacularly deep level of autism.

This is where you should throw extra stuff in mate. If they're expecting frost damage, make it fire instead, and so on.

This DM?

Me.

I had a GM tell me, "no, you don't do that, you do this instead". Same also would run first level characters through published adventures for level 15+ characters and then bitch about how he had to cheat to keep us alive.

he would say he loved a particular game because of how creative it made him feel, and then only run pre-published adventures and get mad if you tried to deviate from what the adventure said would happen.

bait

Anyone here ever had a killer DM? One who went out of his way to wipe the party?

I did once, but it was only because he wanted us to meet the god of Chaos who gave us a deal and sent us back, so I don't know if it counts.

>Almost immediately following that a particularly androgynous PC was kidnapped by a Chad prince of the country to be royal boipussy
My fetish.

I pulled this as a DM recently, because I'm an Aussie running a game for yanks. The game starts at 8am for me and these fuckers keep showing up an hour early asking for early starts.

Have you tried, oh I don't know, talking with your players about this?

My first CoC adventure was with a spineless GM who let the players play the game like it was a really retarded DnD session. I'm not even talking Pulp Cthulhu, just pure idiocy.

We began the story with a lead. An old harmless women to ask questions to.

That's as far as we went. One guy knocked her out, another tied her up, another was looking in her house for loot (even slashing up her couch cushions and shit).

I tried to get them back on track, but the GM was kay with what they were doing.

They tortured her (she didn't know nothing), shot her dead and stayed in the house looking for secret doors (wtf??). The cops showed up. They (we) had to fight them because after you chuck a grenade at them, the cops are not really in the mood to listen to you. SWAT showed up next. The PC exploded a toilet with another grenade (I don't even remember why) and then we all did a suicide by cops.

The other players said it was the best game they ever played.

I have no face. The GM was on the verge of crying, but too much of a pussy to say anything.