Skaven

You've been promoted from Slave to Skaven 3rd class. Here is your helmet, your tunic and your sword. You can no longer be killed for food at any time by your immediate superiors, are immune to whippings for momentarilly slacking off and are eligable for a full loaf of skavenbread daily, unlimited water and either 4 ounces of meat or a dead rat every three days. You have full rights to kick slaves for fun (so long as said abuse is does not kill them), you don't have to wear chains and it is against the rules for our forces to shoot into your formation when it has engaged in melee combat.

Note that all these privileges can be suspended at any time and for any reason

This is fine.

I don't ask for much in my life.

Any health benefits to go with my promotion? can I masturbate publicly now?

Can I trade in 'kicking the slaves for fun' for 'fucking the slaves for fun'? I'm not picky about their gender, any hole will do.

>it is against the rules for our forces to shoot into your formation when it has engaged in melee combat.

I don't think there is a rank high enough in the Skaven hierarchy where this won't happen to you.

I'm not worthy tbqh

I'd say that's how you get aids but hey, you're skaven you probably already have aids and crabs.

All skavenslaves are male, female skaven are mutated monsters only the best skaven get

Promoted? I stab stabbed boss-man, because he was stupid!

I immediately start plot plan my closest superiors death murder so I can claim his power

I too, also continue to perform basic biological functions such as breathing and plotting.

>You can no longer be killed for food at any time by your immediate superiors, are immune to whippings for momentarilly slacking off and are eligable for a full loaf of skavenbread daily, unlimited water and either 4 ounces of meat or a dead rat every three days.
Either you're trying to backstab me or I've really been promoted to being a dwarf

Greetings, fellow rat-bastards.
I seem to have forgotten the location of our burrow, can anyone tell me, or serge...clanrat Kruber?

WHAT'S THE SECRET RAT HANDSHAKE

Well, unless it's a white female skaven, then you get to be a seer!

Well a way to fuck one is to be a seer.

Unless you are thancuckol!

Of course not buddy.

Btw you are going to the southlands with clan pestilens.

Do Skaven enjoy bellyrubs?

HE KNOWS THE HANDSHAKE

>Skaven mutual greeting
>Back for stab-stab, front for rub-rub

This thread had re-awoken my skaven fetish. They were my first foray into tabletop games, and I miss the unreliable furry fuckers. Do any rpgs exist based on them? If not, I know what I'm doing tomorrow

Bloodbowl kinda points that the mutated monsters thing is something that they do to their females, rather than their natural form.

Bullshit. Like id let my fucking guard down around any 'higher ups'. I know the fucking game. I'm going to work to release the rest of my chain gang, build on that loyalty, and when your looking through the scope of the jezzels at me, I'm going to have the former slave holding the pavise gut you.

>based on them?
No, but there is a supplement for WFRP 2e.

Skaven are the best thing GW has ever made.

They existing in AoS has prevented me from bombing their Nottingham HQ.

In blood bowl a few years back I had a Skaven linesman that had a niggling injury. It was revealed he was a female in disguise, and every time she needed to give birth, she'd skip a game and lay a litter. Three of her children later appeared in the team... 2 of them died in the same match to a dwarven roller whilst mother watched nonchalantly from the dugout. Given the number of babies she had, some suspected she was the team's chief "morale officer"... for the home and away teams.

>away teams

Erm...HEY LOOK FREE WARPSTONE BEHIND YOU! *backstabs*

>4 ounces of meat or a dead rat
I'm not sure if I'm ready ready for such responsibility

Hey!

Do insult /ourguy/ thanquol!

>the meat is spoiled
>the rat has been "used"
choose wisely

>already have aids and crabs.

But its just regular aids
You want squeeky super airborne aids?

Finally someone recognized my superiority over those dirty slave...say boss what are those two slaves doing? Over there in a seemingly perfect spot for backstabing...not that I would do it...*stab*

Thanquol has numerous confirmed spawning tho

Correct!

There any good books so I can get into being a sneaky rat fucker

Headtaker gives a lot of insight into Queek and how much of a loony he is. I believe Dead of Winter also includes some portions from the Skaven's point of view.

Read 'Grey Seer' now or suffer the wrath of the Horned Rat fool-thing

You dont rise in ranks in the shitsten army. Its 2grim4that.

Do you think I could be transferred to the Skaven navy maybe?

As long as she's wearing as dress and/or has a feminine penis, it won't be gay. Now bring me that Tight slave boipussi!

Did feminist won? That only source of feminine bodies left are traps?

Not mad, just sad that we have a limited choice now.

What are you furry fuckbois doing now?

What we do every day frog-thing, we kill-slay dirty man-things!

Creepingsneeking from STUPIDSTUPID LEEZURD-THINGS!

You little shits, this is not part of the great plan!

>You can no longer be killed for food at any time by your immediate superiors
I am pretty sure the still can do that.
>not already ploting when you are still a slave
I am far ahead of you.

I'll never stop smiling at the fact that Thanquol is so gloriously incompetent that the Slann think he's more dangerous to the Skaven alive.
Or that he can summon a booodthirster by himself, completely by accident