"That DM/GM" Stories thread

>be me
>live too far from my gf to easily play with her or a group
>my gf found a group to play with
>she's telling me about her first day
>the DM is using adnd 2.0 rules
>Assume it was handed down to him by father/brother/friend
>ask why
>Apparently he said something like "it has the most free resources"
>whatthefuckisapathfinder.jpg
>Also it's a pirated copy of 2.0
>WHYAREN'TYOUPLAYINGAFREED20SYSTEMINSTEAD
>He forced all of the players to come up with a quirk for their characters
>in private
>that they're not allowed to discuss with the group
>in or out of character
>he's going to use them all as "plot twists" later on
>gf decides on a tattoo of a map that her character doesn't actually know what it is
>somehow the DM is gonna prevent anyone from ever seeing it before it's relevant
>RailroadEngineer.gif
>the board they're playing on is constructed literally out of dominoes with characters/monsters/NPCs represented with dice
>literally fucking dominoes
>not a dry erase map or anything better
>apparently this isn't even his first time DMing
>he's been at it over a year

Unreal.

Three weeks tops before he is balls deep in your girlfriend's eager dripping pussy mouth and asshole.

That's a healthy world view user.

Also she's not the only female there, and his gf is one of the players. I'm sure picturing even one female in a room is hard for you, though.

Still salty about it.

>Pathfinder was a mistake
Man your opinions make it hard to empathize with you, but holy shit.
Did the DM at least let the tentacles damage the Werewolf? And if yes, how the hell did he expect you to make it through the encounter?

God, "muh hard boss" mentality is such shit. He could've thrown a big mook at you after the werewolf or something and let you have your moment.

Pathfinder is trash and has a lot of options bloat that leads to fucking DA tier characters.

Domino's and dice allow the people to focus more on the game than on the miniatures. It's also cheap and AD&D doesn't really need a board. Dry erase maps are a fucking meme.

I hope you get cucked.

>Domino's and dice allow the people to focus more on the game than on the miniatures
"literally everyone is autistic and plastic figures are distracting"

>It's also cheap and AD&D doesn't really need a board
You know what else is cheap?

Dry erase maps. Drawing a map. Literally any solution other than arranging dominoes would be as inexpensive and much more efficient.

Here's your (you) though.

Nope, no damage, no grapple effect, didn't even make a roll to see if the werewolf could do these things.

As far as Pathfinder being a mistake... meh, it's not unplayable, but it has alot of design flaws that get in the way of an enjoyable experience, and nowadays it attracts a community of players who are more interested in anime and magical realm than actual adventure stories.

Have you ever played with normies? Minis are distracting.

And dominos would actually be about equally fast to set up as drawing the map out. Plus, if you are in to dominoes, they're essentially free.

Who's the autist now?
>USE MY PROPRIETARY THING THAT I BOUGHT SO I CAN JUSTIFY MY PURCHASE
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>didn't even make a roll to see if the werewolf could do these things.
What the utter actual fuck? The first line in PFSRD is "The tentacles created by this spell cannot be damaged". Fuck dude, I'd have rules lawyered at that shit.

As for the b8:
>allowing furry anything into your table

I mean you reap what you sow.

Oh man, you caught me. I really, really need to justify spending $7, because it takes up such a huge portion of my allowance and mommy said it was a bad idea.

So how's being a 14 year old treating you?

It's less about what's allowed at the table and more the community you have to choose from to begin with. Sure you can disallow all the shit in a community from playing with you, but you're still probably better off being a community that's not half shit to begin with.

Around where I live people are indifferent to systems (well unless they're FATAL tier) so I guess it's just not something I've experienced. DnD and Pathfinder may as well be the same thing as far as my experiences go.

>playing with a new group a few years back
>game starts off pretty well and we are all having fun
>out of nowhere DM starts being a little bitch
>i roll to persuadr "you fail" and he isn't even rolling to check
>starts railroading us to the point where if we win an encounter he pretends we didn't and tells us we lost anyway
>a player whos been there for awhile longer than i had asks whats up and tries to see if the DM is alright
>dm tells him to go fuck himself and stands up like hes gonna fight before it blows over and we cool it off
>next session and we get into another fight and before we can even roll the dm says we lose and get taken to jail
>ask the dm sarcastically if we will ever get to play the game and he punches me in the face and drags me the fuck out of his house and tosses my shit out after me

I don't even know what the dude was so mad about. He seemed normal the first few weeks but even the people who had been there awhile seemed to not know what was up. And I wasn't going back to ask after I got my ass kicked.

How tall was he

Sometimes my players zone out and don't bother keeping up character. Sometimes my DM enjoys the 'Im the DM what I say goes' routine a bit too wholeheartedly.

I enjoy being with my group and getting to run games with them very much

Pretty big. I'm 5'11 and this dude was at least a head taller than me and pretty well built for a dude that plays tabletops.

Dude, why do you care if he uses dominoes? It's a grid, it can be quickly reshaped, even stacked to make inclines and hills.

Maybe he was roiding and blew a gasket

Ah, I see you're picturing this differently from how he's even using them. Quick and efficient it is not.

>5'11"
>Pretty big

...

Wow, it's even faster to set up. AD&D doesn't need grids to operate, in fact TotM is the preferred way of playing it. Including ultra minimalist assets is pretty easy way to prevent "I thought I was X feet away not Y"

>even faster
>knock everything the fuck over every time you do anything
>again not just using paper/grid paper/dry erase mats/rocks/his extra chromosomes

user, go back to school, he's saying the other guys is pretty big, and user you're replying to is 5'11"
comprehend what you read pls

I said I was 5'11 and that the guy was taller than me and HE was pretty big.

>smug anime pic
>reading comprehension of a five year old
>the "above average height is actually short" meme
Not sure if bait or typical user

Do you live in California and earthquakes are a real problem or something? Dominoes are designed to be propped up like that so players can observe their "hands".1

You DO know those op images are false-flagging bait, right?

Fucking newfags get off my board.

Woah there kiddo, careful who you're calling newfag. Spend some time around a /pfg/ thread, those images are anything except "false".

Kill yourself.

>he wasnt there for the great falseflag shitfest

Newfags. Get. Out.

Back in the day, Pathfinder general wasn't always anime-fetish-time. Not sure where you're getting this false-flag idea from. Pretty sure you're just making it cos you're new :^)

The fact that you think any of that is remotely noteworthy proves you're just a bundle of jealousy.
The question is if it's over the girl or the game.
My bet is the game, as the girl might be fictional.

Pro tip: If your girl is too far away to game with, she's too far away to be your girl for long.

>live too far from my gf to easily play with her
I hope for your sake she's a very good girl because honestly if I were her and this is a consistent seperation I'd tell you tihs can't go on.

>Everything that makes me look bad is a false-flag operation concocted by my many foes
lol

I've already posted this more than once but, whatever, let me tell you of The DM That Couldn't Improvise At All Like, Literally Zero Ability For It:

>playing D&D clone
>walking through a pathway with no specific goal, just adventuring
>it suddenly slipts into two different ways
>"do you go left or right, guys?"
>we choose left
>DM suddenly gets very anxious
>"N-no, you, uh, you can't because, uh, suddenly rocks fall and they block the path!"
>We are really intrigued about rocks falling from nowhere, since we're walking through some plains but whatever, we can just walk around the rocks
>"NO! No, you can't do that either! There are bears! There's lots of bears! They come from behind the rocks. They're too strong for you. Yeah, that's what's going on."
>wat.jpg

Turns out she gaves us two options but had only prepared things for the right side and instead of just moving everything to whichever side we chose (god knows why there were two options to begin with, but whatever) she flipped out at the idea that we'd go the wrong way.

>later on
>walking through the forest
>find what the GM descibres as a very small village
>decide to go inside and check it out
>"Uh, the guards won't let you in"
>but y tho
>"They just won't. That's it."
>We'll surround them and enter through some side else
>"Uh, no, uh, the village is completely surrounded by guards. Every part of it. Dozens of guards."
>this small village in the middle of nowhere has dozens of guards all around it
>"yeah"
>okay, we'll wait 'til is night I guess
>"Uhm, no, you see, eh, the guards are still there. All of then. Throughout the whole night. They never move from their place"
>that's bullshit but whatever, we fucking ignite some arrows and shoot inside
>"Uh, okay, the village starts burning"
>now the guards have to go in to help everybody
>"No. No, they don't move at all"
>the village is burning, right?
>"Yeah"
>the people needs help
>"Yes, I guess"
>but the guards won't move
>"No, not at all. They stay in place"

Later she told us that she didn't have anything thought for the village and thus couldn't let us in, instead of simply improvising some quick NPC villagers doing their boring monotonous tasks.

Why doesn't she just prepare things for both sides or use Quantum Ogre? Quantum Ogre is literally the godtool for DMs who can't improvise.

>minis are distracting
>hur normies
But the mentally retarded aren't normies user

>

>gaves us two options
>but had only prepared things for the right side

That's some CoC tier shit right there. I know the answer was nothing, but like come on. That's one fucked up village right there, imagine that same encounter except with a gm that can form thoughts.

>why doesn't she[...]?
God fucking knows why, it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen.

>someone like this calls themselves a GM
>you let them GM

Why?

We had nobody else and it was slightly better than nothing.

...

Stop