What chaos god do you worship and why?

Nurgle. My life is ever-stagnant, the same shit every day.

The only down side of Nurgle is that you look bad, but you're going to be warped into a freak no matter which chaos god you serve so you might as well choose the chaos god who will take away your pain.

Khorne makes you so angry that only killing can give you momentary peace, Tzeentch makes you crave knowledge and then uses that to string you along and make you a better pawn, Slaanesh turns you into the worst addict imaginable, Nurgle makes you love everything and be at peace with death. The choice should be obvious.

>The choice should be obvious.
Malal?

Malal has all the downsides of Khorne but you're also friendless since Champions of Malal work alone.

I PERSONALLY FIND SLAANESH TO BE THE BEST ONE, I FOR ONE PREFER A NEIGHBOR THAT MAKES NOISE INSTEAD OF A DEAD QUIET ONE!

I think they're all too dogmatic and narrow in scope, but if I absolutely had to choose, I'd choose Malal.

Khorne.

I fucking hate you faggots.

To be fair nurgle is the only rational choice

>Khorne
Not as bad as Tzeentch or Slaanesh, but you will be exposed to a LOT of violence and you will slowly lose the ability to feel anything but rage, however you'll be physically stronger and tougher

>Slaanesh
You will be faster and more inclined to practice skill however it will never be enough and you will always push yourself further and further, losing sensation as you do so forcing you to further extremes

>Tzeentch
Cool magic shit and knowledge, but you might randomly become a mutated blob or used as a pawn

>Nurgle
You become effectively immortal and incredibly hard to kill, you will however look fucking gross and be bloated and diseased, however you will take pleasure in the diseases and find you're actually quite happy with life

Now I want to do a CSM warband that "worships" Necoho and is led by a Chaos Lord named "George Costanza".

I choose the sublime glory of Chaos Undivided.

I choose Aristotle.

Tzeentch.

I thought I had a choice, but I didn't

This. Doesn't matter who I worship so long as I fulfill my function with excellence

is Charles Darwin a chosen champion of Tzeentch?

This. If you're gonna sell your soul ya may as well get boons from all the guys who are offering shit and get the best of all worlds.

>Tzeentch
>a set form
"no"

Who would I choose? probably Nurgle, I could keep my sanity, which Tzeentch would intentionally take, slaanesh would alter my senses and perception of reality and khorne's follower's are usually depicted as raving blood hungry lunatics.
Who am I most likely to fall to? Slaneesh, not just because I'm a fucking degenerate (of the most patrician variety) but also because I'm ambitious.

>all these wretched fools falling in line for yet another abusive daddy corpse-god
Nurgle is the actual worst chaos god.
Say what you will about slaaneshi whores, but at least they have an ethos
I chose Khorne because it isn't even a fair contest. Reality MUST burn.

Malal: because fuck you guys, I just wanna shitpost

pfft, enjoy not being claimed by one of the four powers after death, dooming you to eternity as a Chaos Fury.

Such is the fate of the indecisive

I worship Khorne because I have a sense of honor unlike all the other traitorous bastards. (Except Nurgle, he's cool)

I was chosen for immortality, you were only chosen for death, worm.

Slaanesh of course

Tzeentch because I want to know everything even if it drives me mad

...

Khorne

Malal.

Chaos subscribing to dogmas of excess and disease and trickery and berserker rage etc. is fucking hilarious, because the entire point of Chaos is, well, to be free of dogmas.
Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.

...

Rolled 13 (1d100)

Slaanesh. Because if I don't, she'll make the static on the vox lines even louder.

Nurgle because I get to live forever, and I get to say good luck Ebola-Chan.

>they're all too dogmatic and narrow in scope
This

Only Deathguard lost the sensation of pain because it was specifically part of Mortarion's agreement to serve Nurgle. Any other poor sacks of puss like yourself worshiping Nurgle like the idiots you are will find themselves in continual and constant pain until the day you die

>Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.
Fucking, so much this. This is the biggest turn-off for me about the warhammer chaos gods. It's one of the most annoying aspects of the settings.

>Nurgle
>you will take pleasure in the diseases and find you're actually quite happy with life
No you won't

I imagine this must be one of the most delightful occasions a Chaos Space Marine can have. Showing up in some back water world where the people sort of have an idea of what Space Marines and what not are like but know that most of them are kinda weird and even a bit heretical in their beliefs. Then you just go ahead and corrupt an entire planet cause you're a celebrity now.

>Chaos gods in their current iteration are not truly chaotic, they are simply antithetical to the Imperium.

They're created from Immatorum via the subconscious desires of mankind / sentient beings where reality is warped by psychic energy. They are about as chaos as you can get if you know anything about Jung. Being free of dogma is self control not chaos.

>subconscious persona is chaotic
Yeah, right, my little Jung, your input is noted, but not appreciated.

Freud is thoroughly debunked at this point. W's kind if like Einstein - laid the groundwork for a lot and was influential, but was wrong about almost everything.

freud is more correct than a lot of modern psychology, the whole field is full of trash

Freud is even more off than what passes as psychology these days. It's always been a pseudo-science ffs

okay yeah, but at least freud is fun

Yea you will. Nurgles followers are jovial as fuck.

It's not pleasure-- it's acceptance and complacency.

Still the better endgame desu

>Like trains?
>You must want to fuck your mother like me

True enough he is pretty funny

Exactly. It's only a very small step away from having an excuse to say "oh, you tell people about your dreams? That means you're a faggot"

Slaanesh because I want to experience all sensation, every song, every chord, every flavour, every scent, the extremes of pleasure and pain.
I want hot candle wax poured down my back while I eat chicken soup with cinnamon and cayenne pepper, I want to burn 6 different incense sticks at once, I want to be whipped while having my hair pulled and my neck bitten, give me an orgy of sensation and I'll just want more.
Also I'm kind of a perfectionist so that applies too.

good news, having candle wax on your back while eating chicken soup with cinnamon and cayenne isn't particularly hard, you can even do all 6 sticks of incense while you're at it

I'm thinking rosa, aphrodesia, opium, honey+lavender, whatever is in dragon's blood incense sticks, and vanilla for the incense.
Then more.
I just said chicken soup because it's the easiest thing to add those ingredients to. I could do beef, pork, or even all three. Don't forget all the vegetables though, onion, garlic, leek, celery, potato.
Cook some marinated pork marinated in excessive flavours.
Slaanesh is clearly the best god.

The problem with pleasure is that dopamine abuse means you constantly need to up the ante to get the same amount of pleasure, so pretty soon your pain fantasy will just lead to your incredibly painful suicide orgasm involving the most painful death for the best result.

It starts of comfy and sexy, then ends with you being murder fucked by a Slaaneshi demon.

I wanna keep going and see if I can achieve dark apotheosis.
Besides, in order to achieve excess in it's greatest forms of pleasure you need to take downtime too, sleep in, relax, enjoy the hangover. Then when you hit the pleasure and pain again next time it hits just as hard.
Sensory deprivation is just another form of pleasure if you're kinky enough.

so one should avoid pain fetishes, good idea

Ad infinitum, your dopamine release levels will hit a a certain parameter and can go no further without extreme sado masochism where you murder or are murdered.

>Avoid

To bad you'll be surrounded by Slaaneshi demons who will tempt you with pleasure unimaginable until they kill you because they get off on tricking people :^)

the daemonettes don't kill everyone though, some worshippers always survive. And once you get to a certain threshold of power you're almost certainly safe, as you'd be strong enough to kill the daemons, and slaaneshi enough that they wouldn't want you to die anyway

>the daemonettes don't kill everyone though

How much can you lift fagit, there is no way you will strong enough to fight them off. Also, no, the daemonettes usually kill their own followers including cultists.

Unless you're a swol Chad/10 who also engages in Test Bundy tier behavior, then you're pretty much just going to be Dom'd to death.

that's the point though, you become that person. Just do tons of steroids and get super fit and aesthetic, slaanesh would love that shit. Then you can even go on raids to other planets for sex slaves and whatever, and let the daemonettes take some for themselves. Corrupt a few others, eventually kill the rest.

Steroids won't fix your small dick or ability to reach the top shelf, manlet. Why are so eager to join a cult that 90% of the time leads to you being murder fucked by demons for all of eternity?

better than the other cults

also i'm 6'2

Tzeench, because Just as planned.

Khorne, I guess.

light yagami

Shiva

You gotta ask?

Is it permissible to worship a lasgun?

Gork n Mork

kill yourself.

It's literally chaos magic in it's purest form my dude.

>Worshiping Chaos
>not worshiping Logos

I Shiggy Diggy

haha CHECKED!!1
go back to r*ddit/the_donald

Chaos Undivides here, but definitely leaning towards Slaanesh because of following reasons:
>No matter how logical we think we are, we're still subject to physical and emotional stimuli, and as we experience stimulation we simultaneously numben, thus we need ever stronger and new sensations
>No matter how altruistic we act, there is always a core of selfish indulgence in our actions, something that makes us feel good about ourselves
>No matter how humble, we all love compliments and praise, affirmation of our sense of importance within the world
>No matter how stoically we tend to our daily tasks, none are ever as fulfilling and easil done while being our best quality than those who appeal to our own desire

Slaanesh lies at the core to every thing.

It's sad that the most powerful magical sigil in internet history gets such a faggy reaction out of people.

Open your third eye and don't be such a tool.

Probably go with Khorne.

I got a lot of pent up road rage. I imagine he'd gift me a sweet rage fueled death machine to drive and send me loose on many worlds.

If I'm murdered I don't get to serve Slaanesh and experience sensations, sounds like a lose lose situation invented by someone blind to the glory of She Who Thirsts.
Why do you think Slaanesh wants manly man men? Slaanesh likes androgyny. Daemons of Slaanesh are more likely to favour a small femme boi over a big tough guy.

khorne, because at least he will be honest with me.

I think Khorne could take on two oversized bumbling Orks easy.

Not Chaos Gods and they are weaker than the Chaos Gods.

Who does Trump worship?

>all this heresy

>worshiping only one
>worshiping them
>not trying to become all of them
>not striving to DEVOUR THEM ALL AND BECOME CHAOS ITSELF

...

> Steroids won't fix your small dick or ability to reach the top shelf, manlet.

Yeah but this is Slaanesh we're talking about, penis growth is usually baby's first warp blessing.

Seriously though, Trump would make a badass Tzeentchian cult leader.

...

T.malal

One of the things I like best about Chaos is how good a job has been done (eventually - it took a couple of tries to get here) making each god appealing and terrifying at the same time. I want what Slaanesh is offering but I know that I'll ultimately end up just as bored as I am now but a million times worse because of how much hedonic adaptation I'll have gone through. I can get down with Nurgle's all-loving acceptance but I can't bring myself to give up on all the things I want to do and be. I would love to have Tzeentch's helping hand in realizing my ambitions but he'd unmake them just as quickly, just for the Hell of it, and I'm not stupid enough to think I could out-keikaku the god of keikaku. I appreciate Khorne's meritocracy but I don't want to live a life where every time I want an orange juice I have to prove my worth in mortal combat to get it. I could have the best of all worlds if I try to go for Chaos Undivided but am I really gonna bet my soul on my being a bad enough dude to thread that needle indefinitely?

Trump is seriously a fucking dumbass. Probably no one. He just has no clue what the fuck is going on.

That's a hot take

>Dom'd to death
Eh, doesn't sound like a particularly awful way to go

Mork. He's the most kunnin.

He's Chaos Undivided

>Cuts healthcare - Nurgle
>Rapes environment - Nurgle

>Fucks Ivanka - Slaanesh
>Hooker pee fetish - Slaanesh

>Launched missiles at syria - Khorne
>Wants war with NK - Khorne

>Elected on lies and false promises - Tzeentch
>Playing 5D Chess with Nuclear Weapons - Tzeencth

Or...maybe, pic related

I don't know of many fucking dumbasses that became billionaires and achieved the position of U.S president.