Meanwhile on Dragon Veeky Forums

>Lesser beings
>Worth caring about
Pick one

Do what I did. Ditch the Kobolds, find a semi-trustworthy underdark slaver, buy a shit-ton of Duergar, and you're good to go. They can change size, build shit, mine for gold to add to your hoard, and they hate other Dwarves with a passion, so they're unlikely to side with your enemies. Plus, unlike kobolds or goblins, they're very hardy. Sure, they're smater than a hench-being should be, but that's easy enough to deal with. They hate sunlight, so I made sure to stock my lair with sun-crystals, capable of being activated by my will.

The only real problems I've had is that they smell bad and are ugly as all get-out, but it's a small price to pay.

>I blame the degenerate influence of Silver dragons.
>>>/dragonpol/

You sound like a faggot, OP.

You need to engage your kobolds, encourage them to worship and please you, cement it in their little brains that keeping you happy is the most important thing in their short, pathetic lives. They instinctively want to and look to you for guidance, so when you're lazy and aloof they will be lazy and aloof right back.

I'm not saying do something crazy, like let them wake you from your slumber without a slow, painful, public execution, but if you are going to be their tyrant you need to act like it.

qt elf worshiper
wat do?

>Using kobolds
>not cultivating tribes of human barbarians to worship you as a god.

That's what you get.

Is her family wealthy?

??? Even other metallics agree that silver dragons are degenerate human fuckers.
Use her as a pawn to enhance your power and grow a religion worshiping you, I know a friend who did something like this and it paid off big time for him.

I was considering tipping over a space station but I suppose a few humans can do for a snack for now.

That said, the mineral wealth of these asteroids arn't going to dig themselves. Get back to work or it's night time duties for you in my inner sanctum.

Spotted the silver

Water Dragon here. Moved to a new beach after getting bored of dealing with annoying lizard people.

Now I find that I'm sharing an ocean with a Kracken. What do?

Because you're a shit-tier dragon that only attracts shit-tier kobold slaves. My minions are so eager to bring me blood and treasure I have to keep them restrained more often than give orders.

>kobolds
Just use undead, OD. Lower maintenance, often more efficient.
Hell, you could make them out of your kobods.

>Thinking any non-dragon lives mater
>Especially Kobolds

Absolute wyvern-tier.

Lure it to shore and kill it. If you're too much of a wuss, sink some human boats and spread rumors the kraken was responsible.

What you do next depends on how big the kraken is. Could it swallow you whole? If so, . If you're not, though, I recommend the text "Deep Tactics for the Deep" for how to effectively control a kraken. It's actually not that hard; their minds are nothing compared to that of a dragon, but you do need to know what you're doing.

After that, you can have it snatch ships within thousands of square miles and collect the cargo for you.

So fellow dragons, what is your favorite color/type of dragon and what color/type are you.
>Copper
>Star Drake

Metallic dragons are never not to blame.

What kind of question is that? My favorite type of dragon is myself, of course.

drake scum get out or get in my mouth

You're that eager to suck his dick?

Even Silvers go on a date first.

To eat you faggot

>See Dragon Thread.
>Think to myself, "Wonder if thread has ripened enough to cause the vorefags to bloom."
>Scroll to bottom
>See
>Mfw I know you beautiful faggots too well.

Never change Veeky Forums, Never change.

>Dracoogle.

>landſ
that's wrong, grampa

Pardon me, gentlemen.

I am an emmisary from Human Veeky Forums, and was asked to send our latest donations? For not kidnapping our OPs, and razing our threads, of course.

>For not kidnapping our OPs, and razing our threads, of course.
Dude, our OPs are faggots and are threads are filled with kolbold lovers and other unsavory characters.

Nonetheless, do I just... leave the gold cart here, or do you have, like, an offering area?

>send our latest donations
they mean you

They... They what?

sup /dtg/, just wanted to ask, how do we feel about these guys? Are they even really dragons, and how does one hand them?

My broodsister dated one for a while, but dropped him when our sire declared them as not dragons. The guy apparently lost his shit and put some sort of curse on our line without saying what that curse actually does, so I'm

Gold Broodsister here. Some locals keep showing up in my territory begging for assistance in overthrowing each others dynasties in their petty little mortal powergames.
I told them to go away multiple times and since I guess I wasn't forceful enough, now they're sending emmisaries and keep asking for my scales. INSISTENTLY. It's really annoying.
I keep myself well-groomed and shiny and they think I'm some shepard's mutton to be sheared so casually?
Worse still, they insulted my book collection!
Not verbally of course, but I could smell the distain and I saw those sneers they tried to hide!
So what if I prefer my books on display and keeping my hoard private? They don't need to look so disappointed and...
Also, I think they're flattering my form overmuch for just political treaty. Should I have ignored transformation etiquette or at least dialed down the visual? Do they expect me to play as some Silver WORM with some mangy, maligned, and-...and most likely diseased landed 'gentry' of verminous kingship?
I mean perhaps that isn't the most polite way to say it, but I'm no dull and desperate bloodline-poisoner! I have standards! And options! I've been mateless by choice!
Tempted to just call in a favor and have the castle burned to the bedrock. That or set a guardian and a strongly-worded sign at each entrance to my territory.
Halp, Wat Do?

F

Also need to know: How do you severely reprimand a Kitsune of nine tails without getting on their bad side?
Have a friend of such fae nature who can be irritating but remains a valued contact I'd rather not distance myself from. Illusionists of that calibur are frustrating opponents and often lack a sense of reasoned moderation. I'd like to fix that.

Make drakens with it.

WE
WAZ
KANGS

So honest opinions here, who do you think would win in a battle of wits, a clever Wyvern or a or a dim White (lol, I guess the latter is a bit redundant).

Don't be afraid to voice your real opinion (it's not like either of them can read).

I WUD FREEZZ DEM WIT MUH BREF, AND DEN I WUD BITE DER HEDD OFF AN EAT IT, AN DEN KEEP BITIN OFF DER HEAD AN EATIN IT UNTIL DEY SED DEY WUZ SORY

Oh Honey, ya'll were MOUNTS. For monkeys to ride atop, pride not thrown away and forgotten but never existant in the first place.
A jewel must wonder how... (And no, Honey; wyvern lives DONT matter. Call it hate-squalling if you will, but it's not like I'm putting my clutch data or lair coordinates here anyway.) ...How you managed to get this far regardless. Have a sheepherder reading this for you? I imagine he'll skip repeating mine lest a dumb beast like you eat the poor whelp.
Oh.
And a White Dragon certainly. They may be slow in wit, yet still they retain some measure of regality which plays in their favor.

A chariot doesn't have any rights so why should you? The only thing you're good for is being mounted by scales apes and it shows.

>And a White Dragon certainly. They may be slow in wit, yet still they retain some measure of regality which plays in their favor.

They stick frozen carcasses in their treasure piles. I mean conveniently placed snacks are no crime (I got half a dwarf-lord by my elbow right now), but they actually consider meat legitimate pieces of their hoard. Seriously, Whites somehow equate mere meat as actual treasure.

I don't know, if you think about it a certain way a frozen mortal is just another kind of statue. Should I go ahead and get rid of the golden statues of males and females I have in my horde?

>MOUNTS. For monkeys to ride atop
Says the half-dragon.

Depends on what they did that you want to reprimand them for.
They probably don't think they've done anything wrong at all - they are strict adherents to their moral and ethical codes. They just happen to have fae moral and ethical codes.
Depending on what it is, you may not BE able to do anything without getting on their bad side. You might be able to have their attention pointed elsewhere, perhaps, but just 'you want to reprimand them' doesn't give enough information.

Would half-dragons be more like monstergirls or would they be more like Dragonborn?

We aren't talking some shiny knight-sicle, we're talking like...Yak haunches and polar-bear butts.

...You seem to be making an awful lot of excuses for them. You aren't one of them "ivory-lovers", are you?

>horde

It's spelled hoard in this case. Seems you're not much smarter than the alabaster-disasters yourself.

The poor deluded beast doesn't even have the mind for magick~! Can you not learn of or even recognize polymorph~?
It's adorable.
This is just another thing that seperates pitiable worms from real Dragons. We have a history of mystic arts and the genetic memory to casually put it to use. What other is as naturally civilized as we?

Mating with ivorys for the purpose of pleasure does not detract from the idea of art and the beauty of it being something unique to the eye of the individual.

Ha! I knew you were a frost-fucker! Filthy degenerate!

How do I deal with all of my shitty offspring coming to me for handouts/favors/help?

I've sired at least two dozen children in this kingdom and they all keep managing to find me and my lair. I wouldn't normally mind but the shitty knight order is taking notice and starting to follow them. Should I just leave for the next kingdom over? I kinda like it here, and the other kingdom has a dickhead black dragon who I hear likes to piss off his neighbors.

Better than trying to fuck your kobold servents like everyone else.
How about you stop acting like a wyvern and be a fucking dragon for once. Tell them to fuck off and get their own things and leave them to it and eat them if they persist.

Has anyone here ever crafted things for the hoard or commissioned anyone to do so? Hoarding just precious materials and literature isn't doing it for me anymore. The little ones can make such finery; why shouldn't we?

I would leave or find a way for those insolent brats to get distracted somehow. Does the knight order want to kill them as well as you?

Build a wall.
You can fly over it. They cannot. Simple and elegant solution.
From there you may proceed to ignore them so long as you've built far enough back from the lair entrance that their shouting doesn't reach you. As a bonus, heavily-laden knights will not be able to move their lances and horses over the barricade, making any who manages a climb underprepared unless they've brought seige equipment. Easiest method is to cause a rockslide and nudge it to pile wherever you want it. Not the prettiest, but it works if you want results with no more than five minutes of effort.
Oh, and I like the redirection idea for my Kitsune problem. Maybe I can send her to play some 'games' with the royalty in the kingdom giving me trouble?

Just sire even more children when the knights come knocking

Can they prove that they are your children? Honestly, with so many...you should probably force them into a battle of supremacy, so that only the strong among them survive.

And this is why I leave actual dungeon defense to myself and a dozen or so golems I've made with some magical artifacts I've gotten.

I use kobolds to build traps.

Drake, just fucking tell them 'no'.

My parents never gave me a fucking copper piece and before I was even big enough to eat a single human whole, I was thrown out of the nest.

Or maybe I just got caught in the crossfire of my parents splitting up. Either way, I was out on my own and had to build my own horde.

Just get the guardian and the strongly worded warning. Or be prepared to move your lair.

>Book Collection

Ah, a fellow bibliophile dragon. A pleasure, I actually bonded with my current mate over a fondness of books. I'm a bit more a objective historical narrative though and she likes reading old adventurer journals or bard's tales.

Erect illusion dispellment wards around your lair.

Or put up your own illusions and fuck with her head. That may lead to an escalating prank war though.

You...didn't chase them out of the lair properly, did you? You're supposed to ATTACK them when they come of age, so they flee the nest in TERROR. And when they come back unannounced, you're supposed to attack WITH INTENT TO KILL.

I frequently commission the Dwarves in the neighboring mountain to smelt statues out of most of my smaller trinkets when my hoard's size gets too large - it saves on space, makes it easier to keep track of things, and has the added benefit of making it more difficult for potential thieves to make off with anything. In exchange, I've promised not to collapse the entire mountain on their heads. It's a beautiful and mutually beneficial friendship.

I once upset a Kitsune about 100 - 150ish years ago. I proposed that we discuss the issue over dinner and a few casks of Cabernet that I had taken from a passing merchant prior. She was receptive to the idea, and the whole issue was resolved that night. Incidentally, it turns out Kitsune taste very good when paired with a good Cabernet...
It's probably not the answer you were looking for, but it IS an option....

Single out the least useful of your brood and devour him. Then declare to the rest that they will follow suit if they do not learn to become self-sufficient. That was how my father raised us, and we all went on to become rather independently successful because of it. I swear, parents these days just aren't strict enough with their broods.

what does /dtg/ think of dragonborns?

are we qt? can we be friends?

Eat one or two of the most obnoxious wyrmlings, that should shut them up pretty well. It also provides a eugenic effect for your bloodline. Can't have any retards propagating in your name.

I think you lot keep dying before I get to know you well enough to get attached. You have lifespans somewhere between a Kobold's and a Human's. Fix that, then we can chat.

Disgusting abominations. Worse than wyverns, imo. At least the riding beasts were never anything more than what they are, dragonborn are the deliberate corruption of pure dragon blood and need to be rounded up and exterminated.

You're smaller than me, and remind me of Kobolds and Humans - two of my favorite comfort foods. That should be enough for you to figure out where your kind stands in terms of 'friendship' with me.

Just as ugly as dragons, and just as weak as humans. You're not even a qt3.14 like half-dragons are. You're a complete failure.

You guys are assholes.

I just wanted to be friends. We kind of looked up to you.

Can't wait to slay some "pure"-blooded dragon scum in my next campaign.

Aww, no hard feelings. In fact, why don't I make it up to you over dinner? I just recently acquired a few casks of Cabernet that I'm simply DYING to try out....

>Pathetic bastard spawn
>Able to so much as inconvenience a pureblood

Prepare to get eaten once I stop laughing.

>be dragon
>live for hundreds if not thousands of years
>make a "DYING" pun in the same sentence as thinly veiled dinner threats
I would roll for initiative but your challenge rating has got to be a 1/4th at this point.

>all full-blooded dragoncucks can think about is their belly
Is there any other creature more degenerate and carnal than a true dragon?

>He doesn't realize true greatness requires lots of calories

user, this pic () is a motherfucking dragon. An ancient and powerful force that is gigantic and immortal compared to us humans. And this pic () is a waifu. A being of unstoppable temptation and cuteness that can't be resisted.

You are neither. You look like the creation of a furry. No one likes you. Go away.

...

>Unworthy dragon-bastard comes to beg for the friendship of his betters
>Rightfully cast out as the inferior mixed blood it is
>Gets butthurt and whines

We got ourselves a genuine faggot here, /dragon/. Better just roast this one, we don't know what kind of diseases it may be carrying.

I just figured I'd keep it simple - as I said, your kind reminds me of Kobolds, and they're not the brightest lot out there. Still, pat yourself on the back - you've proven yourself to be at least more clever than a Kobold. Not by much, but that's something, right?

>eats lots of calories
>lazes around in his dusky and murky dragonlair all day until something interesting happens
Oh, yes, pureblood. Tell me about how WONDERFUL your adventures sitting on your cavern floor like the curled-up-pussy you are can be. I'm sure you do great things after feasting on a meal of minion kobolds. Meanwhile me and my party of Dragonborn adventurers has just saved a princess, acquired a luxury castle, earned the respect of the province, and have slain yet another lazy dragon that's all bark and no bite.

Evolution works forward, my obsolete friends. You're last year's model. We are the future.

For all your talk of kobolds you sure do come at me in the numbers of them.

I stand alone armed only with the Word of Truth while you old-guard dragons laze around and flop belly-up by the droves.

Utterly pathetic. Be grateful that I've taken your blood. Through my kind will your failing race be redeemed.

>Saved the town bicycle from a wyvern
>Acquired a leaky run-down hovel
>One-copper bards sing your praises

You disgrace our blood more and more every time you open your mouth. Go shuck and jive for your human massas until one of us can take the time from our busy schedules to deal with you.

Meanwhile I:

>Burned the castle of an annoying lord to the ground
>Devoured the flocks of merchants who displeased me
>Received the humble tribute of ten thousand terrified subjects
>Ordered a gigantic statue to my glory constructed in the heart of my city
>Still had time for an 18-hour nap that day

THAT is the power of a true dragon, whelp.

>He subscribes to the morality of lesser races
>He doesn't realize draconic supremacy is the only true law

This is why you'll always be an objectively worthless cuck.

I take it back. I'll not waste my fine wines on devouring you. Your flesh is better suited for the troughs of swine. If you think dragons merely laze about all day, defenseless, fat, and weak, you're in for a nasty surprise - there's a reason we live for thousands of years. We are natural hunters - predators to be feared, not prodded in the name of glory. We destroy entire ARMIES for laughs. However, your kind are stupid and naive. You're not the first to make that mistake, and you'll not be the last. At least your armor would make a nice trophy.

honestly? I'm trying to work out where you guys fit in between kobolds, lizardmen, and half-dragons.

That said, I regard your kind on a case by case basis. I actually have a dragonborn merc on payroll who investigates some leads for me.

I will say your inability to exercise patience and humility, and sense of entitlement for your position makes me not think terribly highly of you.

Yes, I also am painfully aware there is an irony in a red dragon saying that.

Though if we're going to be brutally honest, I am a runt myself as a red dragon and have to rely on my greater intellect and willingness to fight dirty than pure brawn.

Pff, the idea of eating humanoids makes my stomach curl. I'll happily tear them to shreds in my jaws if the need arises, but I have no desire to swallow sapient flesh unless it's to illustrate a point.
The idea of being threatened by a being who can hardly stand their own existence after a couple of decades is rather hilarious though. Do you not think countless better have tried over the centuries to slay their betters? When a true Dragon falls while fully of age, it is almost always entirely their own fault. Or when it's not, there is a powerful artifact of specific epic natures involved...or the mortals have nothing to do with it in the first place and instead relates to beings like the greater infernals or abyssal lords.
A childish hominid with a sharp length of smelted ore is less than a gnat with a sting.
Harsh, but let's be realistic here.
Oh.
I'm also seeking new servants and am considering the efforts of taming a tribe of hill giants. Does anyone have any experience handling the larger breeds of humanoids like those? Any major issues arise?

Giants require a lot of feeding and are often too stupid to remember which food is supposed to be their's. If you're not careful you'll wake up to find they've eaten your dinner and/or some of your smaller minions. Outside of their raw physical power, which you should have plenty of yourself, they aren't really that useful. What are you thinking of doing with them?

I've had bad experiences with them, but it wasn't their fault, at least not really. A group of 'adventurers' with hammers of giant slaying killed all of them, and had their evil cleric raise them all as zombies to ruin the rest of my lair. I disposed of them easily enough, but the adventurers left before I could deal with them. :/

Hill giants aren't terrible, but you'll probably want a couple fire giants or storm giants leading them, otherwise who knows what stupid shenanigans they'll get into.

Regardless, the fact you have our blood puts you leagues beyond the humans and thus your soul is that of a dragon.

It is our duty to claim all souls for dragons so that we may rule the heavens in their entirety.

I was mainly planning to use them as imposing guards for every door, greeting and thus putting off any petitioners. Put them in plated armor as a symbol of wealth and power. Also have them go collect taxes for me, since weaker humanoids tend to be treated with more contempt and other living assets are too valuable to spend on such mundane chores. Sure a slain goblinoid can be easily replaced, but it's the image that counts when ruling a territory y'know?
That's actually very sad. Groups of vagabond warriors like that always seem to murder people and pester without justifiable cause. If they had a problem, they could've at least had the decency to petition and be paid off or 'relocated' rather than turn happy dimwits into the shambling dead. Absolutely nothing 'heroic' about THAT!
Solid advice. Maybe that could put them to complex tasks like construction...that I 'could' but would rather not do myself, being properly guided by better chiefs?
There is a moderately large settlement in the near mountains and the neighboring kingdom wanted to mobilize their armies to drive them further out to establish a trade route through the region. I do so hate to see perfectly good life wasted like that, so why not put the giants to use myself?
And to any masculine-minded degenerates who are curious to other benefits, you must admit giants nearer to your own size. Why simply burn them? Assuming you aren't scared of course.

Why not just use giant automatons? I purloined a few from an irritating wizard a few years back (very stringy, I don't recommend eating wizards), and they're quite good at following orders, and I don't need to waste time feeding them.

Force your kids into an arena battle and have only one survivor to hear him out.

Or just kill the black dragon and move there.

From experience, they don't make good guards or tax collectors. They aren't that disciplined, or smart, and can be bribed or distracted by tax evaders without too much trouble.

The fact that I know where that picture comes from... eeeh

I wouldn't bellitle the humanoids if i were you.
There are many paths to power and by virtue of their sheer numbers humanoids are very likely to stumble upon them.

A neighbouring black didn't heed my warning when he attacked a monastery.

His bones ended up as ingredients for weaponry.

His blood ended up as ink for their scrolls.

His meat was detoxified and given out to the poor as food.

Don't ever loose your caution and wisdom as an apex predator.

Only retarded whites do that.