Rate my home

Rate my home

>3 flights of stairs to get from bed to breakfast
>2 to go shower in the morning
>despite the fact that water runs directly next to your room.
>altar not behind closed doors.
>no chimney on the kitchen = death by CO2
>have to cross a cold ass stone bridge first thing every morning.
>probably have to hang your ass off the side of it to poo since there's no washrooms.
>landings don't have traps or even suits of armour/decorations.
>only deco is 1 tapestry, 1 painting and some rugs.
>hallways completely barren.
>Hall to bath corridor is a double door for zero reason and has pillars in the middle of the floor
>no secret rooms
-11/10
wouldn't keep my goats there

Incisive

Needs a room for growing mushrooms.

What bath corridor and showers are you talking about? I agree with the rest though.

Nice photo.

>Bath corridor
From location (1) to location (5).

I just called the bath a shower because lazy.

I see it now, thought that was a rug.

Maybe that alcove next to the pool but it's far from ideal. I'd dig a cave into that wall and make a fungus farm there though.

Same.

>deserted location
>ruins guarded by monsters
>secret chambers underneath
>river escape route
>isolated sound-proof rooms

Very Rapey/10, excellent choice, would bring 3 elven lolis to enslave & breed for 20 years.

rekt

Where's the bathroom? You just shit directly into the river?

These rooms were not made with vaulted ceilings in mind. Enjoy your collapsing death bunker.

>no secret rooms

How do you know???

>No obvious ventilation

Have fun dying.

its comfy but, as other have said, you have neglected
>ventilation
>bathrooms
>heating
>emergency escape

Also anything that crawls out of the underdark or slithers out of the waterway cave is literally in you bedroom with only one set of wood doors to keep it out. It now has access to all you bookshelves and belongings and can sneak up on anyone upstairs who would likely not expect an attack from below.

>7 beds and not a single bathroom
>exveryone has to walk down stairs and shit off your bridge like 8 feet away from where you sleep into what looks to be a semi-still pool

I hope your fetish is huffing the poop fumes of your entire harem 24/7.

>elven lolis

nice taste

I'd rather live in a sturdy cottage in the wilderness.

I'd read ancient tomes all day and sleep all night!

>3 flights of stairs to get from bed to breakfast
>2 to go shower in the morning

Maybe OP is just taking drastic measures to improve his fitbit numbers.

Rate my home.

you guys have no sense of beauty in architecture. The pool is gorgeous and the downstairs open waterfall particularly inspired. Looks like something I'd build in dwarf fortress

Actually a floating lump of dirt? Or just a lame cut-away of normal terrain...?

I'd need some maps of the interior to properly judge it, but from what I can see I'd say it's perfect except for the door being on the first floor.

Make the bottom solid stone, the entire first floor if need be, put up some stairs on the side, and the door at the top of the stairs on the second floor to be immune to battering rams and to create a natural chokepoint against attack. Hard to batter open a thick wooden door with just two guys precariously standing outside on top of a set of stairs.

fuckingcoldasshit/10

>wouldn't keep my goats there

Exactly. Goats like to live above ground in sunlight where they can wander around and eat stuff.

>what is interior wood panelling
>what are draperies
>what is the purpose of a four poster bed
>what is being scottish
Get on our level.

>it's perfect except for the door being on the first floor.
This, do you WANT people to just roll up a battering ram?

I've always liked the idea of someone moving into an abandoned castle and reviving parts of it to live in. Just chilling out on the battlements, rugging up at night, making a cozy hiding spot.

Good luck finding any in Australia

Rate my home

Carbon monoxide intoxication/10

>walk up 6 flights of stairs
>climb a rope ladder
>descend 8 more flights of stairs and another rope ladder
>walk past almost every sensitive room in the place
>just to get to the cloak room

I guess you can throw the architect off the top of the building and be pretty sure he'll die.