"Graffiti from the dungeon bathroom"

"Graffiti from the dungeon bathroom"

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pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti from Pompeii.htm
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Flavius is a fucking faggot

>insert here for good time
are is littered with skeletons with no pelvis.

>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE
>SECVNDVS DEFECATED HERE

>I can't believe I ate the whole thing

>summon Demenus for a good time.

>[EXPLOSIVE RUNES]

>This bathroom is a trap, every minute in here the poison from the crap starts to burrow into your brain even further.

>"Elbereth" carved into the floor of a bathroom stall
>the door outside it is covered in scratch marks but the door itself holds true

>Everything is a Mimic!

"Bad motivations for main antagonists"

The toilet is a mimic with a fetish.

I just recently retired and can't stand being with the wife all day.

>The toilet is a changeling with a fetish.

If I pull this off, I'll really be a someone at my school reunion

World domination

>You know, it's funny. I don't even remember anymore.

>he forgot somewhere in the planning stage and decided to roll with it anyways

Well,the king bumped me in the street, I told him to fuck off, he punched me in the face, I kicked him in the nuts, one thing led to another, and now I'm raising an army of 5600 skeletons to draw dicks all over the walls of the king's castle.

Hey, guys! Let's create an ethnostate!

>If you are able, but not willing, why do you put off our joy and kindle hope and tell me always to come back tomorrow. So, force me to die since you force me to live without you. Your gift will be to stop torturing me. Certainly, hope returns to the lover what it has once snatched away.

pompeiana.org/Resources/Ancient/Graffiti from Pompeii.htm

Desire to be edgy.

These two are great

>I started doing this just to annoy people and now I've crossed the line. Now let me continue and see how this plays out.

...

gay mariage.

>let's stop the enviromental degradation by destroying human civilization in a nuclear holocaust

There was a Fire Emblem game with this as sort of a last minute twist. I loved it.

>"Things you can say to your GM, but not to your girlfriend"

I love you.

I roll to seduce

All life must come to an end, therefore I'll kill everybody because why wait?

You can handle 5 rowdy guys like a champ

There's a girl I want to invite for next week

Roll for pregnancy.

Seriously? How many guys are in there!?

Same time next week?

So, we're all set to go to the traveling loli brothel, right?

I had fun

I loot the corpse

Anything

You exist

I don't get it

>if I take her from behind, can I add sneak attack extra damage to pleasure roll?

Nergal's story is a sad one.

thanks for the upvote

You are retard

Last words before a party wipe

I'll thank you too.

>Roll for initiative

Fuck you retards (IC)

Llleerrroooyyy Jeeennnkkkiiinnnsss

>"Guys, come on, it's just -one- dragon."

>Okay, I've read the monster manual, I know how to handle this.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO ROLL A GOD DAMN FRENZIED BERSERKER!

Of course there aren't any traps, you trust the rouge, right?

>I put the sphere of annihilation into my bag of holding

Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy

>You detect nothing.

"We should be safe here"

Found a replacement hand and eye!

It'll be fiiiiiiiiine

>they look friendly enough

I'd never go in without protection.

>For what it's worth, I hope you enjoyed [INSERT MOMENT OF GOING FULL RETARD HERE].

I can't see what's in these barrels. Anyone have a match?

>Okay, you take the Toughness test first since you have the highest CON, and if that doesn't work we'll cast a Wish to bring you back.

>I roll to seduce

DM: "Are you Really, REAAALLLY sure?"

I got this.

Why is the GM smiling like that?

>a group of illithids surrounds you from all around

I cast fireball

>I'll play a psyker

oh god this

>Original builder is a faggot

Literally the first game of Dark Heresy I ran ended this way.
>Everyone thought it was completely fine

...

What do you mean by... Tuckers kobolds? Whats that?

Overthinking

>I'll roll for Psychic Phenomena, keep the Fate Point for a rainy day.

Same here.
I was the psyker.
Such worth.

If you're not pushing smite every round, you're not doing it right.

>That nervous flinch, those unconscious grimaces in the group whenever the 'next' psyker tried to do anything
>Fucking priceless

"A new party member introduces him/herself."

Hahah, Hey guys I'm a Kender! POTATO! Lawl I have a very random sense of humor! I roll to pick pocket your character!

Ok, so even though my character's backstory says he's the son of Asmodeus, I swear he's chaotic good.

>I roll to seduce

>hi, I'm Gulmen the Dark-Fire, and this kawai loli here is my familiar, sex partner and also my imouto.

>Hey guys, you mind if I take a look at your inventories?

>I stand in the corner, brooding, face hidden by my black cloak

...

>I challenge you guys to a duel to see if you are worthy to be my slaves

Hello, I'm John, and I'll be playing a- snrk- a -hehe- a norma- pfrk- a normal- pfeheh- a normal Lawful Neutral Human Fighter- PFAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>Teleports behind your neck
"Nothing personel, koddo"

Hi, I'm the DMPC and I'm here to advance the plot

"And your reward is..."

Athedil sucked my dick here
Main antagonist is the family member you always forgot the name of
>I will ensure that my name will haunt you for as long as you live!
>I crit missed the arcana check, but really, how much can this magical amulet do?
>Sorry I missed the first couple sessions, guys. But here is my character, he is an angel who was cast down and cursed with vampiric blood. He is older than the world itself, but don't worry he doesn't have game breaking stats or anything

>shrine maiden's anal virginity

Sure, they're all the rage now, but just give it a few years, and these chests full of Beanie Babies will be worth ten times as much.

>cursed belt of chastity
>cursed belt of girth