You are a typical citizen of the Imperium in the 40k universe

Waifu died of conscription because she was buff.

If I were giving a serious answer, assuming I'm actually close to my son and he didn't grow up to be an autistic manchild or something that I resent having conceived him, I'd probably join up too to see if I can keep him safe, and maybe get the rest of the family to join as support crew (because I'm pretty sure I read something that Imperial Guard can have family that travels with them from warzone to warzone).

What's it like not being able to speak High Gothic?

What is it like having girlyman as your leader?

>Grab old laspistol out of chest
>Blow of dust, check power cell
>Still 48% after all these years
>Find old uniform, still fits
>Have man to man with son
>Tell him it will be hard, he will see and do things that will change him
>Tell him that if he fights hard and trusts that the Emperor protects, he will find a new home
>Give him my laspistol
>Give him golden Aquila necklace
>Tell him this will be the last time I will ever see him
>That I did the same thing when I was his age, that I fought on a dozen worlds
>Made and lost dear, dear friends
>Eventually the 'Dirty Thirty' Molandan Infantry was demobilized as a reward
>Couldn't return home
>Settle new home here
>Wear uniform as they muster out and celebrate the raising
>Secretly terrified for him
>Don't dare show it
>Smile, salute and wave from the crowd

Well son, you're six standard. Time to join the family business.

>'Dirty Thirty'

I praise the Emperor for giving my child a chance to serve against the many vile enemies of man. Then I get to making more children.

>Son got drafted instead of me.

Call him a pussy for not making it into the Marines.

>>Secretly terrified for him
>>Don't dare show it
>>Smile, salute and wave from the crowd

Tell him to hide the mark of chaos well and to kill for the blood god wherever he goes.

I'd tell him we'll just run deeper into this emperor-forsaken hellhole of a hive city. I always hated living on the shore of this lake of toxic sludge anyway.

Tell him to keep his head down, follow orders, & to keep extra ammo on him.

The Emperor protects, and I must trust that he'll be merciful enough to bring Sasha back to us.

See that wet spot underneath his boots? Yeah, he's pissing his pants.

>my son being drafted
>he will be leaving this small and quiet little agriworld
>to go and fight horrible enemies of Evil and malice
>I lean in close as he departs for the last time
>"for the greater good son" I whisper
>he screams as he is dragged off for castration by futafishTau
>mfw

Go in to the attic and get out my old uniform.
>"Now son, I know you've heard all the stories so I'm just going to give you three pieces of advice."
>"First, take good care of your gear. It'll keep the mechanicus happy with you, and it might save you the trouble of having to carve through an ork with a boot knife."
>"Second, keep an eye out for anyone in your unit acting strangely. There are a lot of seductive and dangerous things out there and who knows what you'll run into."
>"And lastly, always wear a good hat."

And then I'll plop my old Commisar's cap on his head and give him a pat on the shoulder.

rip your son

First commisar that sees him is killing him

Eh, just have him snap on some buckles and doodads.

At the very least, he's got fine trading materials in the event of dealing with Orks.

>You are married

already had to suspend my belief too much

i join him

throw him a party with lots of amasec and hookers because i want some fucking grandkids

Well fuck. That one didn't work out.

HONEY! WE'RE GOING TO NEED ANOTHER SON

>Samurai armor over a form-fitting bodysuit

Sign me up for whatever regiment she's in.

Tekarn

Step 1: Stowaway on an aquilla frieghter
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Serve aboard Rogue Trader vessel

Sacrifice my son to Slaneesh. I won't have those imperial dogs corrupting his soul.

Make another son to replace him.

Tell him to smuggle a carton of iho sticks up his butthole.

>slap him for not enlisting first

no son of Krieg needs to be conscripted

Technically speaking, given that soldiers don't muster out for decades*, wouldn't a family be aware that they'll likely never see the son again, even in victory?
I mean, yes, still Glory to Emprah and all that for the joke, but I assume they'd figure he'll have a glorious career and retire as a governor on one of those newly-liberated worlds or something.
*Still haven't been able to figure out how this works. The 7th AM codex was sketchy, and the Gaunt books vaguely hint at them eventually getting their own planet as a dangled carrot, but I don't know how survivors mustering out actually works.

read this fanfic bro, it's got plenty of tekarn

fanfiction.net/s/10922384/1/ROGUE-TRADER-THE-AWAKENING-WE-GO-TOGETHR

>tfw not the only one to find this gem

the locker room scene was the best dude.

You're forgetting the GRIMDARK element that is 40k, user:

The son serves in the Imperial Guard or ELSE: Imprisonment, excommunication, public service penalty, fines, a public beating, etc. etc. And not just for him, but for the "failures" of the parents who rose such a cowardly child that spits in the face of the Emperor. Especially if you didn't personally give him up as soon as they asked.

From what I've read the Company a guardsman belongs to gets deployed until attrition wears it down. From there survivors are placed in other units or declared Imperial Citizens, affording them limited rights for their service, and left on whatever world they were last deployed to settle. It varies like everything in the Imperium.

plz read

I take his place.

>having your entire family obliterated because of one member
>''b-but maybe i can keep him safe...''
>Emperor's Children member #49845 captures all of you and forces you to watch the unspeakable things he does to each of you
Not worth it, man.

GO BESERK BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

on the serous note, hand him my second best pistol and salute. glory to the emperor

See him off and grieve because he's dead.

And he will be dead until he comes back alive.

I hug him with all my 3 arms and thank our father and its father before it

>filename

Well, since I am a Krautfag he is going to line into Mordian Ironguard or the Deathkorps perhabs into the Teutons (Are they still around?).
Give him a picture of the family, my aquila and a a crappy self-made purity seal from my work as initiat (You know, the guys that wanking the incense in the Church and getting shit on by everyone higher) hug him, and say him that the emperor will protect him. I will pray everyday for his soul and hope he comes back.

It depends. On some planets it`s a great honour to have a son in the Imperial Guard. He`ll be a hero and the family fulfilled a duty to the Emperor. On the other hand some planets just pay a tithe and recruits are drag out from the deepest levels of Hive Cities.

That's what he gets for not joining that chaos cult I told him about

Let's be honest, it probably would have happened anyway if they stayed.

High five him for his flat feet and inherited joint disorder as he continues the family legacy as a 50th generation backroom requisition worker.

There's an Eisenhorn story that features mustered out guardsmen. I think that, like everything in 40k, it varies. Seem to recall something saying they do what the Romans used to do by settling retired guardsmen on conquered worlds

My own theory:
Guardsmen serving within their own sector as a protection-force can retire on their own planet.

While Guardsmen serving in a crusade/campaign, can only retire if their transport would be to costly to justify their battle-prowess. They form the new rulers of the plant they succefully defended/conquered.

Of course it depends from which planet the guys are or the type of regiment they are. But in general the Imperium can be quite practical.