A thread for all those trashy sword and sorcery stuff that no one heard about.
From all ages and all times, 80s stuff, youtube larp videos etc. But only stuff you actually had the balls to sit down and finish watching.
The bar is "if it has a physical DVD ever released it is too mainstream"
Post them! Trash for the trash throne.
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I will start with the worst
Barbariana Queen of the savages!
Larpers try to make a Conan movie. Features a fat barbarian queen, Freddy mercury clone, an Elf ruler who uses a white plastic chair as a Throne.
Ah porn flicks with decent costumes count too. Post all those game of thrones xxx parodies I know you have seen.
SAGA curse of the shadow
Unironicaly liked the elf.
Here is the trailer
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The thing I love about this one is looking at weapons and recognize them as props from other movies like LOTR.
Not really fantasy but I found this Star Wars fan movie on youtube....
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Any not americans know of good direct to TV stuff om your countries?
Cast a Deadly Spell
Gumshoe noir Showtime movie, 1940's modern fantasy featuring a private detective named Lovecraft.
Sorceress - filmed in Mexico, stars twin Playboy playmates, terrible acting, a Thief, Viking and Satyr companions, the titular Sorceress is the third banana villain, right out of nowhere at the end there's this boss Chimera practical effect that deserved way more screen time.
Game of bones.
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And here a deep analyses of the thing.
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Since people started with the porn parodies I will mention Amazon Warriors.
Some time ago stumbled upon them but was never able to find a full video of theirs.
Some Channels on youtube are pretty professional
For exapmple this german guys
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managed to make a decent lovecraftian 8min video.
Hawk the Slayer (1980)
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Princess Fantaghirò
It's a series loosely based on a fairytale. Used to watch it with my mother as a kid.
Are you italian?
Anyway I remember it, can't remember anything about the plot only crazy fucked up shit happened all the time.
Kinda want to watch again in company of friends and big quantities of liquor.
I'm german. Had this on regional TV back in the day.
Been a long time, but there where numerous evil sorcerers and sorceresses and the fiancé of the princess got cursed into an ugly wretch. They also usurped the kingdom or something. And one of the princess companions was a speaking stone with the face of a crone. People could be paralyzed or something when she threw it at people.
Deathstalker series. Minimum originality, maximum camp.
...
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom and its atrocious sequel. May be less obscure now thanks to MST3K.
Modern games have in game animations better then cutscenes from games of 20 years ago.
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GIve it another 20 years and every neckbeard in his basement wil ba able to make an amazing movie.
Lately I don't watch LQ movies just quick reviews
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WHy the fuck someone should watch all that shit?
Thank you.
May your kin be blessed for seven generations user.
Okay seriously I needed this in my life man you're awesome.
Damn, they really went the extra mile with the action. I thought it was just going to be full-breasted women lezzing out for 1:57 minutes, but there was some quality violence at points
it appeals to a specific fetish crowd.
And I believe it is pretty hard to make the wound practical effects when actresses are not wearing any clothes.
The two Gor movies...
Mystery science theater did an episode on one of the Gor movies. Should be pretty tolerable to watch.
Watching it now.
Not too bad but I can't understand what crowd it goes for. It has children movie like dialogues but then shows nudity.
Cast a Deadly Spell was good and undeserving of being in a trash thread.
Believe me, the typical reader of Gor novels also has a childlike dialogue. Sorceress is high quality in comparison.
There eis in fact a sequel starting Sam Niell.
>captcha showing cuffs as belts.
....lewd, really.
sucks. They idea seems fun but it ends being so boring. And the worst thing is that I don't understand why! It should have all elements I would enjoy.
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Bizarre fantasy trash by Lucio Fulci
>No mention of Quest of the Delta Knights.
I has a sad.
And maximum rape.
Not a movie, a series, but still awful. In a good way
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My contribution to this thread is The Barbarians, starring real life twins Peter Paul and David Paul. I unironically love this film. It is light years better than the Aquaman Conan The Barbarian movie, and was made like thirty years ago on 1/20th of the budget.
Also, if a kind user could help me out I am trying to find out a sword and sandal movie that I watched as a kid. It starts out with a woman chained to a boulder, and a monster comes by to attack her. It cuts away and eventually the woman is found with her skin removed. This part scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. The film progresses and another woman gets chained again, but this time the hero rescues her. Any ideas?
this is basically Power Ranger medieval edition?
Going to add Yor: Hunter from the Future and Ator the Conqueror for some great campy action and including hang gliding scenes terribly. If you have to choose one go with Ator but at least hear Yor's theme song.
I love how they keep wholesale lifting scenes from the first movie.
Yorsa is the man!
Anyway discovered this but haven't watched it yet.
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Personally I love the combination of questionable ideas, bad acting, and tiny budgets coming together to make something. While you can laugh at the awful stuff, you can still see glimmers of good idea, and generally you can still feel the passion behind the whole product, even if that product involves a barbarian throwing ferrets at people or a barbarian in a glider throwing bombs at a caste for 10 minutes.
It's why I really dislike fake bad movies like Kung Fury or Sharknado, because the passion is replaced with a smug sense of irony that just rubs me the wrong way.
>when all the shitty fantasy movies you've seen are MST3K episodes and so don't count.
Uh, do Starchaser - Legend of Orin and Heavy Metal 2000 count? I would also put in Metalstorm - The Destruction of Jared-Syn and Red Sonja '85, but I haven't got around to watching them yet.
They did the second one, Outlaw. I think it was actually better than Deathstalker 3, which they also did.
>The bar is "if it has a physical DVD ever released it is too mainstream"
I think Delta Knights is one one of the MST3K DVDs.
Maybe doesn't fit the thread, but Captain Kronos is Ravenloft as fuck:
>Fred Ward
sheeeit ima have to check this one out
>Red Sonja '85,
when i was 6 years old I was convinced that was the best movie EVAH.
watched it again a few years back. Goddamnit it was worth than I could have immagined.
fuck if I have watched it when I was kid it would have been one of my favorite movies ever.
It is a like a series of beginning of porno flicks.
>that fucking opening note
I kek'd hard and everything after only made it worse. Looks like it'd be comfy af were it not painfully obvious the actors involved were embarrassed to have their name in the credits
>heavy metal 2000
just forget this one exists
HM2K is better as a movie than HM1
>Dutch subtitles
The fuck.
Whatching it right now.
Jesus fuck it's great.
