In which we post Bag of Holding horror stories

>In which we post Bag of Holding horror stories

I remember a green text where someone put a bag of holding in an NPC girl follower's vagina so the warrior had to fist her to retrieve his weapon. I'm sure someone has it saved somewhere.

A garden was established using magical lights and mundane dirt. A bee hive was then allowed to establish in this garden.
The bag was then used as a thrown weapon.

How do flowers and bees live without air?

A wizard did it

Decanter of endless air?

Air is recycled. Flowers produce O2 for the bees, bees produce CO2 for flowers. Tiny ecosystem.

I have a pretty good one.

>Party's strolling about in a city, have a bag of holding we use for gear and loot
>Suddenly get served with a magic restraining order- if we come within X miles of a guy, take massive, potentially lethal damage
>Guess what, he's coming our way.
>Panic, run, stick the NPC paladin with a bottle of air into the bag of holding so he won't get zapped.
>Bit later when it's resolved, we open the bag, the paladin's not there.
>Curses! Our faithful companion has been kidnapped by forces as yet unknown!
>As soon as we deal with our other pressing quests we will hunt him down and free him!
>Fast forward an in-game month; open the bag and find our usual loot isn't there, it's empty.
>Huh, weird.
>Close it and open it again- it's the loot!
>Huh, must be cursed to have... different... spaces...
>Open and close it eight times.
>Out pops the very very hungry paladin.

>Over a month of use, the GM rolling dice behind the screen had never come up with the number to reach the paladin's pocket.

I've a screencap of one.

Where the sunlight for flowers comes from?

...

HOLY KEK! MY SIDES!

Bagworld.

I opened a dimension door inside a bag of holding once

>Use bags of holding to shore up leak in boat currently rowing across a swamp sea
>Eventually have to empty it
>Enter desert location short on water due to local war, negotiate sale of water shipment
>Turns out that local water creatures, slimes, etc survived the trip in the bags
>City becomes horrible poison nexus

I'm not going to pretend that's not how I would do it given the chance.

You'd either have to refill it manually from time to time or it would constantly be blowing bees out of the bag.

Permanent sunlight spell I'd assume.

Read the original post dumbass.
>A garden was established using magical lights and mundane dirt.

An old group once decided to model our characters around Robin's merry men.

The Friar Tuck of the group decided to line a bottle with the bag, and emptied the kings entire wine holdings into it.

IC We were less than thrilled when we found out why we were about to be executed. OOC it was hilarious.

As a physics major this triggers me. First off, conservation of momentum =/= conservation of velocity because p=m×v. Let's assume that the human male fighter weighs 80 kg and that he's carrying about 3/4 of his body weight in gear, so a total of 140 kg. Therefore we can derive that his momentum is 2100 kg×m/s. This post assumes that a complete transfer of momentum is what happens, and that no momentum is transferred to the ground when the fighter stops, which is where most of the force would go. Logically in this scenario there are two points of impulse, the first being the fighter's point of contact, the second being the end of the bag pushing the shit out. We will go ahead and assume this happens perfectly. The total 2100kg×m/s of momentum is conserved through each point of contact. That means that the roughly 680 kg of shit will travel at a rate of 3.08 m/s. 1/5th the original velocity of the human fighter. Fuck you and fuck this pseudoscientific approach to bags of holding.

Angry math is the best math.

The party has spent five or six sessions climbing a tower dedicated to the storm gods that has a magical wish-granting property at it's peak. We get to the chamber below that, where there are statues of all the gods and we have to make offerings to each to pass. The room is filled with offerings of previous climbers of the Tower, so it's basically a limitless supply of treasure/gold coins/several sweet magical items. We are warned that taking tribute from the gods might "incur a heavy toll".
For various reasons several of us can't resist taking a single magical item, except for our Paladin who has lost a hand to Malar earlier in the tower and is feeling vindictive. He asks how much gold is in front of Malar's statue and the DM replies "more than you could possibly take." Paladin precedes to fill his bag of holding to capacity with gold. For simplicity's sake we set the number at 500,000 gold coins. We climb to the top of the tower do the whole story-driven wish thing. The Tower begins to collapse beneath us. This is when the god's heavy Toll part comes into play. Every object we took out of that room suddenly became 500 lb. Every. Single. Object. For most of us that just about maxed out our strength checks or bag of holding weight limits. But Paladin's bag exploded into a shower of ludicrously heavy gold coins that fell like meteors, completely destroyed the Galleon we had sailed to the tower in that was waiting below us.
Paladin kept a single super heavy coin, and now likes leaving it thor's hammer style on prone foes.