What's the most Slav setting you can imagine?

No, but it is respected here because of good quality and cool logo.

STALKER ?

Did that kind of criticism of Tolkien start with Moorcock?

Is this a /pol/ meme? I think this is a /pol/ meme

Are we going to pretend Twilight: 2000 doesn't exist?

Abidas, Abibas and Adibas are fairly popular too

I had a 5e DM that let us muck about in an Eastern European setting with Slav named characters, replaced the Wine with Vodka and the Ale with Kvass.
We had a Human Fighter named Ivan Kalashnikov who dual wielded Hand Crossbows using the Crossbow Expertise feat to reload them for free, he reloaded with no hands.
A Human Bard, also named Ivan Kalashnikov, this one wielded a light crossbow and used an accordion as his instrument.
My character, a Human Cleric of War, my god was the Murderkube. I wielded a heavy crossbow and my name was Makarov Kalashnikov.
Finally my little brother rocked a High Elf (actually that special elf race from the DMG that can teleport or something) Sorcerer named Domovoi who we fluffed as a butler for our family.
Due to my character taking the noble background we were fluffed as Noble born brothers, my character being the first born son.
Our first session we found out about a group of bandits, pooled our party funds together to rent a wagon, and disguised ourselves as traders. When the bandits showed up wielding swords and telling us to surrender we revealed our crossbows and said, "No you surrender!"
After a successful intimidation check and some bullying they agreed to take us back to their camp.
My character challenged the bandit leader, calling him a coward for hiding behind his men, Human Fighter challenged him to 1on1 combat. DM had given this guy level 2 barbarian stats.
We all rolled initiative but except for the human fighter we all held our turn, except for me and Bard to cast buffs on Ivan.
Turn 1 Ivan the Fighter throws a bottle of vodka at the barbarian and picked up a flaming log from the fire.
Barbarian Bandit fails to hit, turn 2 Ivan the Fighter sets a motherfucker on fire by successfully hitting him with an improvised flaming club attack, setting him on fire and draws his own sword, since we did all have melee weapons if we needed them.
After a bit of fighting it looked like the bandit was going to win. So I shot him, twice.

Eastern Europe.

What's Slav about it?

As a bonus Ivan the Bard had drawn his rapier and moved in to attack as well, and Domovoi, seeing from the Wagon one of his "young masters" about to be slain, shot his own Firebolt.
The bandit leader died and we bullied the bandits into surrendering. We let them choose their leader and negotiating that the town guard would not arrest them, and in exchange for vodka and food they would protect the town in our name.
I jokingly called them the KGB and Ivan the Fighter was like, "Yes, the Kalashnikov Guard Battalion." because I was just making a joke but he made it work.
The moral of the story is that the slav isn't in the setting, the slav is in you.

what do slavs actually do

I get squatting and track suits and booze but can someone give me the long version of the meme

It all started when they sponsored the Soviet Olympic team.

I'm not even making that up.

I'd rather not end up on a watchlist.

Wasn't the Witcher series set in slavland?

>Pssstt.. Hey Suka, want to play my S.T.A.L.K.E.R homebrew?

Is this a newfag? I think this is a huge fag.

Nice casual racism thread.
At least they can squat without needing external help to get up and can see their knees without looking in the mirror.

>MtG's Ravnica gets actual Slavic culture down right.

Elaborate, a lot.

pic unrelated

>Nice casual racism thread.

Thanks

>At least they can squat without needing external help to get up and can see their knees without looking in the mirror.

I've been working on my squat. I'm still only able to do the western-spy squat but my heels have been closer to the ground.

Now learn how to make kvass

youtube.com/watch?v=k1UTJKBMvgc&index=4&list=PLbS0HkS8Xsorrdr3pPk4lP80tUAzfyxP1

>Mordor
Way too industrious for medieval slav setting
Not tyrannical enough for soviet slav setting

And by what peaceful means did they spread from their rather small original territories of western Poland and easrern Prussia to half of the Europe?

Whatever happens between white people is not racist, user.

Commiblock arctic maze fun

Degenesis
It's spread throughout the post-apocalyptic Europe, but a lot of it takes place in post-Poland and Balkans. Balkans are still a shithole where everyone fights with each other

You're asking the wrong question.
The correct one is "How can I make my setting more Slavic?"
Here is the answer to your question.

>At least they can squat without needing external help to get up and can see their knees without looking in the mirror.
Honestly, if you can't do at least one of those, you should wipe yourself from the surface of the Earth

This.

Explains high suicide rates in US

youtube.com/watch?v=GwczZp40C8M

>and can see their knees without looking in the mirror
So you're saying slavs have tiny dicks?

If your dick is large enough to hide your knees, you need to see a doctor. Now.

I get that it's hard to imagine for a slav.

What I'm saying is that your dick shouldn't be 8inches wide

Typical slav lack of imagination.

When my massive cock is contained within my pants, its humongous coils form a mighty bulge that obscures my legs. My actual girth is not 8 inches.

Such is life in the Zone

>Engaging in a "Who has the biggest dick" contest
You must be Slav yourself
Or American

OK, i get it, you're mutant.
I already called the Inquisition.

Don't pretend you know how to use technology.

The thing to remember when making a Slav setting is that being a Slav is suffering. It always has been, and likely always will be. These people got BTFO by the Mongols so hard that the name of their ethnicity became synonymous with the word for slave, and is the root word for slave in several languages to this day. Even in the modern era, the suffering continues. One of the greatest works of Slavic literature is Crime and Punishment, a book about a poor man living in a poor neighborhood in a city where everyone is either starving to death, dying lf tuberculosis, or both. In this book, he murders a pawn broker with an axe just to get some money to feed himself and his neighbors, but struggles to come to terms with the gravity of what he has done. After that, there was the clusterfuck that was the Sovie Union. Even closer to the present, the Slavic nations are largely struggling with poverty and political unrest. Not to mention it's fucking cold as balls all the damn time.

However, there is always a glimmer of hope for the Slav. That vague chance of a better life in the dark and cold and tuberculosis, a chance that probably will not come, but it might if he works hard and is a little lucky. That hope is vodka.

...

Any setting where whites fight against invading slav hordes?

90% or IRL slav history is fighting against another invading slav horde

>tfw you will never live in a noblebright Slavic fantasy world

Slavs are soulless tools created so that real human beings (western europeans) have cheap source of skilled workers.

Slav myrhos are grimbright, user.
The running theme there is a here defeating some external evil only to be dicked by his own people

Like every other myth?

IDK, Mezoamerican mythos are hardcore grmdark

Slaves are master race user. Westerners are so blind and dum they let in Black Orcs from the south and no will get recked :D Their kids will get streched out and WRECKED - they girls will cry and moan as they are breed by black orcs so pleas do not talk about Slavs like you are superior - because your oplitics and what is happening to your shitty land says other wise

Btw I'm Slav

>skilled
lel

>Thinking that Black orcs are invading Western Europe
>Not knowing that it is merely a female exchange with the South
>Not seeing that not only white woman breed with Black orcs but white men are also breeding with Black orcess
You're a Slav alright, the kind that don't actually know what's happening outside of its hole

He-a, нe eдинcтвeнный. But it's a preferred brand of certain people. They're like niggers but of wrong skin color.

squatting and tracksuits are popular coz they are memes on themselves

Potatoland.
According to potato, big difference.
Less violence and more drunken writing.

>Persians (before Attilla's big move)
>Mongols
>Crusaders
>French
>Germans
>Polish
>Germans
>own incomptetency
Hmmm.

>Potatoland
Potatoland is Belarus, not Poland. Poland is apple and tomato soup land.

>white men are also breeding with Black orcess
Oh the delusion. You are just as dwarfish in your mental capacity as in your stature.

It's basically slav thug culture memes.
US have niggas
UK have chavs
Slavs have gopniks
General style is all the same - sportswear, bling, bad music and "cool poses"

>Persians (before Attilla's big move)
>Mongols
>Crusaders
>French
>Germans
>Polish
>Germans
Usually dealt with in one or two generations.
Then they return to fighting neighbouring slavs
>own incomptetency
Can't be dealt with at all.

>khazars
>pechenegs
>bulgars
>kipchacks
>mongols
>tatars
There are more nomadic assholes from steppes but I don't even remember their names.

Then we have
>greeks early on
>germans
>swedes
>poles
>french
>more germans
>inner strife
>persians
>turks
>and now we fight anglos

>Usually dealt with in one or two generations
Thanks for the compliment, I guess

>There are more nomadic assholes from steppes but I don't even remember their names.
>khazars
fucked up hard by kievan rus, remnants absorbed by bulgars
>pechenegs
fucked up hard by kievan rus, remnants absorbed by bulgarians
>bulgars
fucked up hard by mongolians, nevertheless assimilated their mongolian cinquereers. nowadays known as tatars
>kipchacks
fucked up hard by kievan rus, then mongolians remnants absorbed by fucking everyine the part that allied themselves with mongolians survived now known as Kazakhs
>mongols
fucked up eeryone, but ended up being assimilated everone but in their hearthlands. don't conquer more developed civilizations, kids, they WOULD eat you.
>tatars
see bulgars

>Thanks for the compliment, I guess
I mean those of them that won quickly fugured that reuling over slavs is more trouble than it's worth

I'm currently breeding a Black orcess, the cutest and fiercest of her clan.

so you don't deny that we did much fighting
with outsiders, but still think that 90% were civil wars? wew

For fantasy probably some sort of nomadic gypsy culture, make them real full of themselves and their clearly phony "magic". Farmers regularly have to drive them out of their fields, where they set up camp.

>90% were civil wars?
Slavs aren't one nation, russianfag, despite what you like to believe.

Serbs fighting croats or russians fighting polacks arent civil wars, dude.

Like who? Mongols were the only ones in position to do that and it would be logistic nightmare for them to try. We were their vassals, paid them tribute but never had to fight their wars like other vassal states did.

but everything i know about polish cooking is eggs. even the vodka is eggs.

Russian-centric shits like you are one of the prime reasons other slavs hate russians more than they hate other slavs.

This only really applies to the eastern Slavs though.

>other slavs hate russians more than they hate other slavs
Like who?

>the name of their ethnicity became synonymous with the word for slave, and is the root word for slave in several languages to this day
It's a myth
>BTFO by the Mongols so hard
And not even related to Mongols. Everybody was BTFO by Mongols.
>One of the greatest works of Slavic literature is Crime and Punishment, a book about a poor man living in a poor neighborhood in a city where everyone is either starving to death, dying lf tuberculosis, or both. In this book, he murders a pawn broker with an axe just to get some money to feed himself and his neighbors, but struggles to come to terms with the gravity of what he has done.
Have you even read this book? It's not what this book is about.

Polacks, Ukrainians, Bielarusians, Czechs, every ex-Yugoslavia nation except Serbs. So basically all other Slavs except Slovaks, Serbs and Bulgarians.

>One of the greatest works of Slavic literature is Crime and Punishment, a book about a poor man living in a poor neighborhood in a city where everyone is either starving to death, dying lf tuberculosis, or both. In this book, he murders a pawn broker with an axe just to get some money to feed himself and his neighbors
That's not really the reason. He was poor and he needed money, yes, but there was something else behind the murder. He had an ideology separating the weak from the strong, and believed that only the weak are affected by ethics and haunted by guild, while the strong are pragmatic, focused on their goal and ready to do whatever it takes to make the world moving in the right direction. By murdering a person for monetary profit, he wanted to prove he is one of the shepherds, a leader who can sacrifice anything for a greater good, a man to write history.
And, by the end of the book, he is dissuaded from his delusions and learns that people, no matter how insignificant and trite their little lives are, make all the difference in the world, and he has no right to choose who deserves to live and who does not.

>Polacks
Do they really? They have long history with us.
>Belarusians
They don't
>Ukrainians
Ukranians are mix of Polish and Russian settlers from Southern Russia. Modern Ukrainan narrative is absolutely irrelevant since nothing more than a madeup story to justify existence of Ukraine which is not a real country. Ukraine belongs to Poland and Russia.
>Czechs
They seem to be nice when I was there.
>every ex-Yugoslavia nation except Serbs
Never heard of particular hate from them. They don't like us, it's true.

>Polacks
>Do they really? They have long history with us.
Mostly of you fucking us in the ass, no hard feelings though. Poles are currently split between either hating the Russians or loving them because of muh crazy gopnik vodka syberia memes. To be honest I was pretty sure that the Russians hate us as well.

Polacks hate russians very much, especially politicians
As a bel, only a bunch of nazi weirdos hate russians
Ukraine is an African country now, complete with absurd "WE WUZ KANGS" level, they need something to hate
No idea about others

>Do they really? They have long history with us.
Did you cre to actually read it? Its not pretty.
>They don't
Because surely russians never wiped half of their population...
>Ukranians are mix of Polish and Russian settlers from Southern Russia.
Yeah, refusing to even acknowledge as a netion is surely not the reason to hat you.
>They seem to be nice when I was there.
Htey are nice to everyone, but they don't forged the Prgague Spring
>Never heard of particular hate from them.
They're too busy hating Serbs.

>Did you cre to actually read it? Its not pretty.
It was mutual. Polacks played major role in our history and had very strong influence in Russia in 16th and mid 17th century.
>Because surely russians never wiped half of their population...
That's what Nazis did in WW2, dummy, not Russians
>Yeah, refusing to even acknowledge as a netion is surely not the reason to hat you.
I don't acknowledge unicorns either.
>Htey are nice to everyone, but they don't forged the Prgague Spring
If they are nice to us, it means they don't hate us
>They're too busy hating Serbs.
They have nothing better to do

>That's what Nazis did in WW2, dummy, not Russians
So Ivan the Terrible was a Nazi? You get some weird version of the history in Russia.

As someone who knows history of the region I have few things to say - first Polski have longer history with Lithuania by a thousand years almost, so shut up about that. For them to hate russians is normal

Gudai are really are just part of Lithuania - and they not only admit it, they are proud of there history. And it seems they are slowly moving away from being associate with Russia, it might take a while but they will do it.

Russia is the result of Ukranian outcasts and criminals send to the north.
Ukrain is much, much older then russia and Rus is not the orgin of russia, this is something a lot of idiots don't understand.

As for others, I never been there, so don't know much, but if any of you anons are from there, add how you feel about it.

Wait so it was Nazi that starved half of ukrains population to death before the secound world war?

You know, when Russia send food to the nazi for free!

>>That's what Nazis did in WW2, dummy, not Russians
>So Ivan the Terrible was a Nazi? You get some weird version of the history in Russia.

Bet he never heard of Katyn. Or the shit russians have done to Polaks in the old polish East. Every single Pole I know hates Russkis.

As a gift might I add.

They starved there own people to help hitler start the war. Nazi didn't as for that, USSR just gave it away.

not a russki, but thats utter bullshit, m8

I always find fascinating how, we, the Europeans, like to paint ourselves as beacons of enlightment when hate and murderous instincts are always flowing just below the surface. Few hate as much as us over generations. Few have been as warlike as us.

Really? Did't you know, Stalin financed hitler with food, weapons, and steel. They were allies for half of the war.

Heck Ussr still send food to Berlin when Nazi invaded poland

back to op: the german P&PRPG "Das Schwarze Auge", "The Dark Eye" in english, has a part of it's world that's basically 16th century Poland/Lithuania. It's pretty neat and accurate.

>I always find fascinating how, we, the Europeans, like to paint ourselves as beacons of enlightment when hate and murderous instincts are always flowing just below the surface.
Civilization and progress are BORN from the conflict, and conflict is fueled by hate. This hatred and neverending conflics are the reason Europe became the beacon of enlightnement.