Galactic Federation

As it stands how do the Federations military forces fare against the extra dimensional foes that may threaten us?
Fellow Ambassador have any of your warmachines proven particularly effective against eldritch beings? And we are prepared to contribute a full expeditionary army of a million men to the Federation cause and to combat the Plague so we would be interested in seeing the weapons you could arm them with.

May i ask what do you mine? We are always interested in new materials.

So know that this is not the first time this "Virus" has visited this galaxy. Well before I was given such a high class position as Chief diplomat of xeno-relations I was a simple high energy surveyor like my kid here.
>Child convulses
The blip blop system houses two features mineral rich plants and had a pretty cool ringworld.
Turns out a bunch of species before Y'all had discovered that the only way to stop M'gai was to contain every last spore; well turns out when you put a sentient contagion into what is isolation then tell that you hate it for basically an eternity it's worldview gets a bit fucked.
So I'm on blip blop IV mining of course, when everyones like "Abandon Planet!" and such classics like "this was an unprofitable venture" and then they left me on the planet but not before leaving in such a hurry that one of our cruisers managed to dive stern first into the ringworld sending it on a convergent orbit.
So I'm locked on this planet with this virus, turns out,It's hella friendly; like I think my biology is a little to wonky for it to corrupt so we basically sat around and played scrabble for I think 200 years.
We mine whatever you need pal, You put in an order and we'll deliver; oh and uranium tons of it.

So I of course call my buddies and i'm like "Can you come swoop me?" and they slide so I'm like "Can I bring this little girl?" they also are ok with that so Sally gets some new friends. Keep in mind that Sally only wants to be friends... but she can be beaten. the point is she's a mental plague, your friends and family are still in there, but first we must beat her.

Ever do antimatter mining? It's extremely dangerous but the risk should be worth the reward. You might be awarded systems if you can aid the Empire.

Using Psionics!!!
MENTAL POWER FORCE GO!!!

Bruh antimatter mining, you mean starship fuel; of course Admiral. How much do you need my friend.

We have no idea. We've never had to fight such a being, and this is the reason for the feral release. We are relying on the synthetic natural selection to provide us with enough variants in weaponry that perhaps we will find some frequency capable of inflicting harm to them.

Our main hope is that due to the artificial nature of their minds, they will not be affected by the seeming aura of insanity that surrounds the beings. We are currently searching for the Roots with highest mental fortitude to lead the hordes.

We implore you avoid using organic beings to combat the eldritch beings. I would rather kilotons of matter be destroyed instead of a single organic consciousness be thrown to the possible slaughter.

We are always looking for new focusing material for our energy weaponry. If you have anything not native to our home system we'd be quite eager to establish trade deals. As for being stuck on an alien ring world with a sentient virus seems... Interesting. A pity it was isolated for so long, I can only imagine what it'd be capable of in the field of genetic engineering should it be guided towards more benign means.

Yes of course not for warheads but starships...
And we would be willing to offer you our protection and a high place in the Empire for this. Most of our starships still use fusion drives but antimatter will increase their capabilities immensely.

That what I'm saying, She wants to help but, she eats people so what gonna do?
Pal how about a better deal, You let my species simply be your general area around your species and we'll give you all the antimatter your little primate hearts could desire.

Well we have many organic beings ambassador that are willing to lay down their lives for their Empire and the Federation but i will take your advice in high regards.

Also.. you want some crystals I got plenty of those, energy weapons like crystals, plug a few of these babies into the focusing ring or equivalent and it'll be charged up to 111%!

And of course mining rights. But that seems to be satisfactory as long as no demented beings are brought into our reality,again.

NO GUARANTEES

So what you do want weapons and cool armors and shiete?

And honorable CEO have you also sent forces to engage the Virus? And i just received a communique from my government they are very interested in your project as we are also looking into mental defenses against other worldly beings. Shall we conduct our research together?

>brought
Mainly fuel,information and minerals for our war machine. Do you know any defenses that might be effective against plasma based weaponry?

Mental walls must be taught my primate friend, and boy do we have a lot of teaching for you.
>thanks to you the galaxy and humanity shall prosper, the rest of the universe not so much.

>you know any defenses that might be effective against plasma based weaponry
I think the best defense for plasma weaponry...is plasma shielding I'm being serious. I wanted to say more plasma weaponry but it seems you've got covered.

The boys in red sure do have some conquering ahead of them.

While I understand the call to war is great. We still have some young blooms who's sap is too hot, and work as thorn operators to slake their thirst. Still, better those lives laid down better be spent building up.

We have a wide array of Roots eager to test their metal in the upcoming war, and if you'd like to employ any of them, you'll find their prices to be quite competitive compared to organic mercenary groups. One consciousness leading a bestial swarm is quite cost effective, even if you may end up with the occasional feral leaf. No worse than local herbivorous fauna, although a bit more durable.

Better ratios are just that. Better. How many megatons can you provide? I'll see it used as a standard design template. Those rarely mutate, less when superior material is introduced to the matrix.

The last communication from Lead Pith was a very confused and worried exchange over how it was supposed to help the sapients asking for aid while they were dismantling his thorns at an astounding rate. His Trunk has attached itself forcibly to the colony ship, and has begun dismantling it for material to create medical leaves, based off the schematics his leaves were able to pull from the medical lab.

Control is still unobtained, but the six Creeper corvettes were able to push it off trajectory. Provided the plague victims do not reignite the engine, Lead Pith expects it to harmlessly drift into deep space.

Is it wrong that I liked the Cryptids and Extinction mode?

We have been researching into it but it is only now against the Cephalopods that our defenses are shown to be ineffective. Our mass drivers and heavy lasers however are not.

They sure do my friend.
Megatons try gigatons plant bro, we're blowing apart realities trying to mine iron here, ok we know what we're doing.
You know what is also good against squishy squid fuckers, angry Androian warriors with a bone to pick with other invertebrates. Our soldiers will gladly fight and not die for you humans!

Is he In need of a rescue? We have a corvette in the area with a platoon full of Imperial Marines just itching to take the fight to the plague.

Tell your guys whatever you do don't take off your fuckin helmets Sally loves mouth to mouth

As for a joint research program, I've got entire valleys waiting for the chance to get off world and join new RnD groups. Our understanding of mental powers is limited. It was left to the realm of science fiction until just recently. We just hope that you can not break the brain of that which has no centralize mind.

No, he believes the situation is quite under control, just a matter of trying to actually help the people, not just mulch them for biofuel. He is finding the stoneborer wyrm designs to be very effective in clearing the crew corridors, if needlessly messy. He also approves of the metal used in construction of the colony ship. The Truck thinks its tasty.

>Sends a craft to pick up a unit of angry Andorian commandos to be used in coming boarding actions
I think their reactions will be quite hilarious to see. We shall not forget the fallen of the First Battle of Asteroid Run!

How about a joint military exchange? We will have a unit of your warriors fight along our forces and we shall deploy a unit of our finest in defense of your home world.

Good choice, our natural small size and the lack of spines make us great for squeezing into places best left...unsqueezed, and their photographic memories mean any and all intel gathered can played back, you simply must attach the Andronian into a machine capable of playback.

I wanna get on this.
>Back when we were fighting the Blor'Rax we deployed our children armed with swords and What we got were the most efficient killing machines this side of the Void.

We have a research station in orbit of the military outpost of Sigmas Prime where your scientists can study along ours. I am sending the coordinates now. The station is also to be used to discuss the different threats facing the Federation.

Hehehehe I sure hope you can.
>You'll never mindbreak a plant
We did somehow mindfuck a virus into thinking it's a little girl.

>Andronian scientists knock on front door of Sigmas prime with no rhyme or reason.
Little pig little pig let me come in.

OOC Is it just me or do the Cephalopods look like the aliens from Independence Day? Maybe the mother ship can represent the dreadnought? But honestly dude who created them they are a cool threat and i will enjoy our rematch.

Gigatons would lead to quite the excessive surplus. No more than a few kilograms per focusing aperture for the largest of our energy lances.

Wait... Yes. We will happily purchase on that scale. I imagine a megastructure using the Astral star singer's harnessing of our star's energy, coupled with a lens able to focus it. And I like the idea of putting a giant jeweled ring around our star. Now THAT'S progress.

If you are willing to provide citizenship to the Roots, I'm sure you'd find some willing to join your Empire and provide their services, although Iron Bloom Incorporated still reserves all patent rights to designs produced by extra-national employees. And we are honored that would offer an honor guard to our humble home. We'll get to work establishing a proper barrack for them in the Valley of Iron Thorns. Please send any requests for designs. We'd like them to feel at home while so far away from home.

We are able to send our Roots forward to meet you there, however if we'd ask you pick up our organics at the Valley of Stars port. Our FTL system does not permit the transmission of organic life. Something about the dimension we violate to travel leads to brain death in organics.

The plus side, Roots Silver Taproot, Sodium Algae, and Uranium Acorn should be arriving before this message reaches you.

OOC: I want my bug human octopus showdown damnit

I propose a joint alliance between our nations. And for all of us pouring more into defeating the creatures of darkness and the Plague that threatens the Federation.

I say we leave the federation!
and take over the galaxy! NO THATS THINKING TOO SMALL THE UNIVERSE!

>HUMANITY NOW ANDRONIANS FOREVER!!!

I am sure the Emperor would be most willing to allow that. And i would gladly welcome you with open arms to the United Empire together our banner will spread throughout the stars! And i shall have a transport for both the scientists and for the warriors who wish to fight. It should arrive shortly.

You'll find that most of my race is kinda, in your empire already...don't fight it.

Now now we shall not do that. Our neighbors are our allies and the members of the Federation can conquer more together than apart

Iron Bloom Incorporated will not be signing any formal agreements, to ensure we have no conflict of business between various nations. We wish to remain neutral in matters of state.

That said, galaxy scale situations are something we all agree must be met with the full force of the galactic community, and we will offer the full force of our Root lead Tree combat groups to ensure the empires, kingdoms, federations, unions, and other assorted interdependent groups of sapients may be left in peace to pursue their passions without threat of extradimensional, galactic, or reality assault.

War might be good business, but the living generate more wealth than the dead.

But... Ok I understand, stronger together..than unified as one, our differences is why Sally is winning btw. she's gonna keep evolving until she can just kill things herself.

>War might be good business, but the living generate more wealth than the dead.
Bruh just wait until the dead go to war.

I understand completely. But you shall have the full protection of the Empire and if any of your citizens wish for it full Imperial citizenship as well. The Emperor himself has just decreed it.

>The Emperor himself has just decreed it.
How is Roy by the way, Last time I've seen him was about 3000 years ago, I wonder if he still remembers my last drunken debacle.

Given the reports from Lead Pith, that is already happening, and I see no profits to be made in dealing with shambling corpses begging for aid.

He is unable to render medical aid, and is beginning full scale terminal and recycling of the entire ship. He projects full rendering of the ship in a standard month. He'll be dumping the biofuel into the nearest star once the atmosphere can no longer support combustion. His leaves all agree it smells wrong.

We thank the Emperor for this aegis. An announcement of the offer has been made public. The augment clinics are going to be booked solid for months with the voice modulator installation backlog.

And we have developed a new main battle tank for export as well as for our military. With two feet thick armor plate,a highly efficient fusion engine and a massive twin barreled 150 mm rail gun with a chain gun as well the Mjonir is a masterpiece of warfare. From Mechassault 2 i wish i had a better quality image but wanted to show some of the UE's ground forces because there isn't a lot on them

So if this the button I push?
Hello is this thing on?
Can you hear me?
>"Yes they can fuckin hear you now tell them what you want."
I need to pee
>YOU'RE A SENTIENT FUCKING VIRUS DELIVER YOUR FUCKIN DEMANDS!!
I just want to eat.
>YOU HEARD THE GIRL, FEED ER
No I'm sure they don't even know whats going on
>"Care to explain?"
Not if they don't ask I mean what you're gonna keep me on voice call all day?
>"Hell the fuck no."
Well I'm Serran Altcatoid Liver Lard Yoddlerentendle , the "plague" you've been feverently fighting against for months

>a new main battle tank
Thats not a baneblade

Woah I can't believe those tech boys actually listened and managed to nab er.
Fellow diplomats we've seized the core of this plague. and isn't she just a little doll?

What do you think the MBT are supporting?

I'm afraid i must retire for the night fellow ambassadors there is much to do in the morning It's 2am and I've been doing this all night so I'm gonna sleep. Hold the line without me.

The baneblade is the main line battle tank they're supposed to be supporting stormswords and fucking Orthodontist.

Good night islandbro

Thread theme:
youtube.com/watch?v=wy-sVTaZRPk

An impressive machine, although you will find it fairly impractical on our homeworld. These spiked limbs aren't just for show. We use them to scale the cliff faces our homes are built into . Fertile valley land is too scarce to waste putting a house on, after all.

Glutton is never pretty, darling. You need to know when you've eaten enough, otherwise you aren't going to have any food to eat tomorrow, or the next day.

I will save all the things Lead Pith has to say about how "Cute" your plaguebearer is for another time, given what she's forcing him to do to sapients.

Sleep well

>"You hear that you're a fat slut!"
But we must all eat
>"Nah bitch we're gonna wipe you out!"
But they've said no such thing!
>"BURN PURGE KILL!"
Help me please! I'll stop eating people just save me from them!

Check em

Hello all, what have missed since my rest?

Lets see,
The plague has been well it's being currently taken care of. And thats it,
Wow are you today old friend?

We all must eat, yes. But you still need to know when it is better to avoid that next bite of sweets, so you have it for tomorrow.

You, other set of voices, would you kindly stop tormenting the central consciousness? Her fear is making this worse around the galaxy where sapients are fighting her tendrils.

>Off screen panicked rustling

Send Titanium Teek's Tree out to assist Lead Pith then. Yes, yes, I know it charges a premium, the biofuel is causing thorns to rupture due to viral content. We need its small scale fusion plant design if we want to salvage that ship.

Honestly if you think just because you have the living avatar of an interstellar spanning plague, you are sorely mistaken in the working of hive mind organisms. Killing her could make it all worse, because then the mass would be without direction.

>Places commucator face down.
My comrads, to we are at an impasse, some of us are gone yet in the federation, we are strong.
Today we have a choice; End the plague but take a innocent life, or forgive the lives taken by M'gai(sally) and and in return for her promise never to spread again, we lock her in a dungeon forever.

Well those are the science department, they're just getting a little frisky with her.also we're extracting data from it.

Well, could you get them to be less freaky? I'm looking at these images and finding it hard to keep down my dinner at what he's encountering. Multicellular life is not supposed to look like that. Mothers roots only know what the other sapients are dealing with...

We'll those mutants are just the 1st stage, see those necroships that are flying around are actually collecting the infected, the second stage, and then the third stage you get a form of central intelligence that my people refer to as , FUCKIN SALLY.
Honestly we've been trying to contain Sally for years, she's a naughty little sapient contagion.
It's all a matter of keeping her contained her her whole
>Basically the solution is to round up every mutant and infected throw them on a planet and have a nice chat with the resulting super intelligence that forms.

Oh. Now that is a plan I can get along with. Do you have a planet in mind, or looking to buy some real estate?

Someone tell Lead Pith to stop the whole scale incineration routine on everything. Leave it to his discretion on what to do with any remaining saptient infected.

Sorry, took us a minute to decrypt you message. Greetings from Iron Bloom Incorporated to the Noo Liberty Union. We are a recent contact to the galactic community. If you have any needs in the field of self guided automated labor forces, please, let us know. It's kind of our thing

I have a planet alright.
I believe you call it Earth.
>nods head triumphantly
These humans opened themselves up to the galaxy, and the galaxy's gonna walk right in.
No I do not have a planet in mind, and was totally not considering using my allies homeplanet as a dumping ground for a race of clingy waifu parasites.

We do not have any Earth in our records. I assume its somewhere of importance.

As for a suitable planet, our further most colonized system has a fairly suitable world, provided "Sally" doesn't mind eating the same mats of rapidly dividing algae that cover the shallow oceans of the world. Given these necroships can endure the radiation of space, I'm sure the lacking magnetosphere won't bother her too much. She'll even have a few Roots to keep her company as they work on colonizing the system for our seedlings.

woah and we'll call it SOYLENT GREEN XXX!!
I LOVE IT! SHE'LL LOVE IT!
>When you get a bunch of aliens to set-up a sick honeymoon spot for you and your virus waifu

Well, I imagine you'll want an environmental suit while on the surface, depending on your species tolerance for high energy radiation. I assume she'll be able to redirect her infected ships to the planet, and keep them there?

I sure hope so, my guys are bringing her too the coordinates as soon as you send em to us.
Also feel free to visit anytime

She'll have some local leaves to contend with. The planet in question has a very high rare metal content. Nothing more than the assorted transportation and extraction models. So long as her mass doesn't start groping their servos, they'll be sure to leave anything biological alone. I'll send the order to cease biofuel use on that planet as well. Here's a lovely little screen shot of the surface from orbital approach. Coordinates enclosed in the image.

I'm sure she'll love having pets she won't be tempted to eat.

>very high rare metal content.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GO GO GO LAUNCH ALL FIGHTER SCRAMBLE FIGHTERS SCRAMBLE FIGHTERS

On second thought, I'll be cutting off tourism opportunities to visit Grumboo V. Boy wake up
>Child rises from deepest sleep
Child we've got rocks to break!

TALLY HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If you would like to purchase the mineral rights to the planet, I am sure we can work something out, rather than expend resources on conflict. I detest the thought of consciousnesses being extinguished over something as petty as shiny rocks.

Now, we can act like merchants about this and cut a deal, or we can see how well your atmosphere containing vessels handle metal hungry defense swarms. Thousands of these await your pilots if you want to turn this violent.

>atmosphere containing vessels
I sneer at you carbon lifeforms, I'll make sure you seeds never germinated, I'll see to it that your stalks are eaten by spider mites,I'll spray weed killer on your whole fuckin garden you botanical garden of lies.
I'LL GENETICALLY ENGINEER A SUPER PLAGUE TO WIPE YOU PEOPLE OUT!!!
>But yeah let's just discuss those mining rights, I assume you get one half and we'll get the other and if we want more we'll take it.
>School ocidental

>purchase
>mfw carbon lifeforms tell me to "purchase" something

No. I get the whole planet, and you may buy portions of it at a fair market value. We do not take kindly to threats of violence, and while I am sure you possess quite the military force, I made sure to not broadcast to the entire galaxy the existence of my species until I felt sure that anyone who tried to invade any of my corporate holdings would find any attempt to seize them in a hostile take over to find it a far greater cost in resources and sapient power than just offering me something I found to be of equal or greater value, even if that was less than the original items worth. In this case, a planet with a good rare earth element content. A very impressive 1.2 percent no less.

Yes, as are my various gold, silicon, and crystalline based shareholders. You'll have to be dealing with the Roots in the system who have legal right to the planet, and I assure you, they are not taking the news of possible claim jumpers kindly.

Well thank you, they are inspired in all things bad:
Dark Eldar From W40K
Tal'Darim from Starcraft
Ceph from Crysis
The ayys from Independence Day...

Fine i'll *play* with the *mortals*
As for yourself, I assume your Roots can handle the implantation and care taking of a sapient virus.
It likes to play Scrabble.

>invade
Andronians don't invade...we consume

Greetings Iron Bloom, I thank you for your offer but I must decline. We Noo are proud to use our own sweat and brow in order to achieve the greatest gift the universe has to offer, the feeling of an honest days work.

>>/qst/

Oh yes, provided she doesn't try to eat their synthetic chassis's. I have no idea what Scrabble is, but plenty of Roots take part in various entertainment activities in their down time. I'm sure they will have plenty of ways to help her occupy her time.

I'm still curious what she could do in the field of genetic engineering. Retroviral alterations sound like quite the promising area, we merely lack the means to program something more complex than removing some latent genetic disorders and provide some extra bulk DNA to slow the effects of genetic replication decay.

I understand that all too well. Many still feel the call of the pick and plow here at home. We merely seek to make it a calling, rather than a requirement of one's finite time. The less sapients working to ensure the lights stay on, and the fridge remains full are more you have seeking to improve themselves and others.

Then you will find a likewise hungry beast awaiting you here. When you are made of metal, not meat, metal is your meat.

Now, to the matter of exchange... Those gigatons of exotic focusing material. I'd be quite happy to exchange a planet of metals that we know about for crystals we have yet to encounter, more so in such amounts. It could lead to a nice revolution in our energy industry. We might be able to build smaller scale fusion plants with it. As well as putting a jeweled ring around our star. I still want to see that happen before I go to root.

>Implying roleplaying is a quest