Why are Star Wars vehicles so retarded?

Why are Star Wars vehicles so retarded?

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Because it's a setting made for kids.

Like seriously, I worked in a kindergarten for a few years, all the boys loved Star Wars.

because retarded is cool sometimes

Because they're all designed to be reproduced in cheap Chinese plastic for children to buy.

Because George Lucas is retarded

Rule of cool, fool.

F U N

Because in the late 70s and early 80s, space opera didn't try for Nasa-Approved realism.

>Because in the late 70s and early 80s, space opera didn't try for Nasa-Approved realism.
I choose this answer to reply to.

a lot of sci-fi vehicles are retarded. Here I've got a challenge show me something that would make sense in the real world.

>what is combined arms?

They are big/tall artillery platforms that vomit troops.
The supporting vehicles are what allow them to work.

They're war elephants.

It's a combination of an artillery platform and a troop transport. It fulfills its role very well.

Oh, you must know everything about humanity after working with 5 year olds!

>not liking walkers
Your taste is objectively shit

Not that guy, but it helps around here.

>no u!
>nu-uh
>is too

how the hell are you supposed to disembark from such thing ?

It kneels down and lets you out.

Ropes or the AT-AT can lower itself enough for troops to jump out I think.

fast rope

>It is highly dubious that floating over broken terrain is better than driving over it with a bunch of wheels and tracks

d e l u s i o n a l

The AT-RT and AT-ST I will defend because the they are cool, Games Workshop clearly thought that. Look at the Eldar War Walker and IG Sentinel

Why would they ask a Sci-Fi show for the rights to a concept the Russians had flown in space 4 years before the primere of the tv show. Pictured the Sofora girder mounted thruster on Mir space station.

It delivers a grand total of 40 troopers at a slow walking pace, is fucked if a leg falls in a hole and make's it troops easy targets when they deploy. At least the Clone Troopers used tons of aircraft for troop transport.

The juggernaunt was way more efficie t as a troop transport.

The Juggernaut takes two hours to make a turn and needs a spotter twenty feet off the roof to make any sense of direction. It's equally as retarded.

>slow

Its slow but its legs are also long. Its slower pace is still quite fast.

t. Short person that needs to take two steps for every one step a tall person makes.

Its kind of like how people think elephants are slow but those niggas are faster than humans at walking pace.

The Empire had air superiority in every viable engagement. Star Destroyers had more fighters than most planets.

It's also nigh invincible. Only the biggest guns could scratch the damned thing, something 99% of people the Empire needed to fight on the ground didn't have. Hell, the Rebellion didn't have guns on Hoth that could do a damned thing, outside of extended concentrated fire on the joints by a stationary gun emplacement.

A slightly better take on a retarded concept

The only real downside i can think of here, is that most of Star Wars still relies on visual targeting/driving/identification. The AT-AT neck lets the drivers literally look down and around/

Designed in 1969 by Syd Mead for a portfolio published by US Steel.

I love the AAT. Really, the Trade Federation aesthetic was so lovely in general. They had the earth tones and rounded shapes of the "height of the rebellion" aesthetic, but everything was so aggressive instead of being sleek and pleasant.

I just finished putting together a model kit of a battle droid and STAP and being able to turn that sort of design over in your hands really makes all the little touches stand out. Speaking of standing, the only problem with the kit is the ankles are nigh-useless.

this

I believe they are meant to be deployed behind your lines. Their job is to work as an artillery and to completely crush enemy morale.

>prequels
>forcefields on robots

>future
>no forcefield on anything
what happened?

The OT-era forcefields were more advanced, to the point they're invisible. Remember how the shields on the N1 had a cloudy, watery look? Then compare with how shields react to fire in the OT, most obviously in Return of the Jedi where we see them most clearly.

Oh yeah, I forgot about those.

How many of these would it take to bring down a Warlord Titan?

>too slow to be an effective transport
>too massive to be effective artillery

I tend to think they're an analogue to a heavy tank in an armor taskforce. Supported by previously mentioned fighter tanks, AT-STs and ground troops on the surface, used as the spearhead to crack open defensible positions with waves of fire from high angles.

Granted, being so slow is a definite detriment, but in a world apparently without rockets, radars and guaranteed air cover, the walker is good at its job - in a similar respect to how a Tiger tank or an ISII tank is good at its job. It's just a giant fucking thing that breaks shit and can't be stopped easily.

Funnily enough, the prequel's AT-TE attempted to have a similar presence, but failed spectacularly. Blown to pieces in almost every skirmish. Typically unreliable. I guess it's indicative of late Republic overdesign and blatant disconnect from the reality of war, but...

The AT-AT's physical design isn't much better, is it? :B

Artillery isn't determined by its size, but by distance and shell power.

Syd Mead is a concept artist.

It's better to think of the thing as a battering ram that outranges fortress defenses most of the time. The artillery is there to support its advance, not to support the advance of troops around it.

The CIS-hets were a better funded, better organized, and all-round more powerful foe than the Rebel Alliance, for the most part. The shitlords were able to field better armies and better air support than the Alliance ever could. We rarely see Alliance vehicles in general, outside of space.

This is very true. Likely the reason why the only thing about design philosophy that changed was the height and mechanical complexity.

Hailfire droids dope as fuck.

Vulture droids are hilarious, and I love them.

I've not seen any of the CGI cartoons, so I don't know if anything like this is confirmed, but I like to imagine them with a sorta pack/flock mentality, basically being big dumb birds that get easily spooked but excited when they encounter something they don't recognize.

They don't play it up as much as they should. Their bomber counterparts, Hyenas, giggle in flight, but most of the time they're played straight. Which is a shame, because I'd love to see them act like a flock of seagulls with lasers.

>when they encounter something

Now that's a thought... that's a fun way to introduce a robotic player character. Have a bunch of Vultures curiously looking them over while they wake up.

I had an idea for an NPC who, after a particularly deft bit of smuggling or other black market work, was paid not in money or favor or pink slips but in a full deployment of trade federation battle droids and an associated battle computer. So he hooked the computer up in his mid-size freighter and just keeps the droids around to run it for him, saving him the cost of keeping a crew fed and clothed.

Unfortunately, they're not very good conversation. They can talk and even reason, but they're like children and get distracted very easily.

Great reading comprehension there buddy.

As they should. B1's are cripplingly stupid, but always fun to have around if only because they're the closest things Star Wars has to complete mooks.

It's science fantasy.

Everything is retarded.

They are, at no point in their creation were they meant to be taken as a serious threat. They're like rent-a-cops that you buy in bulk to have cheap security, so using them for actual combat is ill-advised.

Tripp fuck off

even by those standards it was slow. Unlike a biped, all four legs have to work in tandem towards the goal so it's kind of like double the time for it to get to the goal. Just look at the old movie too: the ATAT's legs don't have full swing capacity, and it moved pretty slow. I suppose it's biggest asset was that it was able to lay down fire from a high, stable vantage point.

I think thats why they put the guns on this version on something similar to a ball swivel: 180 degrees of view for whomever is manning the gun. At least that way they save on power potentially being consumed by simply moving the dumb head, as well as resources used to stabilize a constantly moving head on a more or less stable body.

I personally find it funny how Star Wars has some pretty smart concepts, typically in the CIS such as Vulture Droids or Hailfire droids, which realistically should fucking dominate warfare by spamming hordes of unfeeling uncaring droids able to bomb the everloving fuck out of the enemy. AND Vulture Droids even double as infantry! Crab Droids are also pretty great as a concept.

But then you've got shit like the AT-AT, AT-TE, spider droids, and such that don't make a fucking lick of sense.

After the Starkiller, no machine in Star Wars seems retarded by comparison.

Yeah, that's kind of a fair point.

Given that it uses laser weapons exclusively and Warlord Titans have void shields out the wazoo, plus going on size relative to humans, too fucking many. And that's assuming the Titan isn't fighting back, which it most likely would be.

>deployed as weapons of terror
There's your answer.
Shit's a psych-out.

...
How did I never see this before?

The AAT is one of the few vehicles that make sense in a tactical standpoint.

At least most of them puts the armor in front of the pilot...

And by it's ability to not get detected before it fires and get the fuck out after it fires.

Glorified cargo lifters aren't going to have much armour to begin with, though they really should have tried bolting some on.

If wouldn't really help at all. Once robo squid gets close, your cargo lifter is done for anyway.

They asked for help with the specific application, not for rights to the design.

some user point out it's Hannibal crossing the alps or some shit
but kinda doubt it

Are you sure?

I always thought AT-TEs were much cooler and more sensible. I still think AT-ATs look rad but the -TE's profile is so much better and it's actually got point defense guns. This and the AAT justified the prequels' existence to me, both are fucking great designs.

I did like how the TCW version moved the hull mounted blasters up to double-up with the arm-mounted ones, removed the weak point that the Naboo forces blew a hole in in TPM... Though the Imperial variant of the AAT added that weakpoint right back.

Dubious that there are enough tread-defying obstacles to justify a Walker.

Theater Shields and repulsor jammers are good reasons to use Legs/treads/wheels, but "Broken terrain" is a hard sell to make legs better than treads.

Even the Sun Crusher made more sense.

Tactically speaking it's a kind of weapon that could find it's use.
It's not a giant target, not is it statonary like starkiller or slow like the deathstar, it have a nice scary WMD and it's stupidly tough.

Scientifically it's load of bullshit, but then again everything else in SW is no better.

The only thing it needs is protection for the gunner operating the mass driver.

Dunno, why can you hear sounds outside of the ships during space battles? Why build a superweapon capable of shattering planets when you could just glass it for a fraction of the cost? It's science-fantasy, you fool. Nobody gives a fuck.

Yeah, I don't like the placement or the fact the main cannon is manned externally. It should just be manned on the inside and brought closer to the center of the hull, ideally on the rear section. It's how my lego one is built.

The glass cockpit would be better as just a typical tank slit too, like the AT-ATs.

>Dunno, why can you hear sounds outside of the ships during space battles?
They explain that by one saying the sounds are faked to help pilot situate things around them in 3D.

...

> open top exposing the troopers
> slow as fuck (infantry can walk faster)

I never understood why that was the case, but then Legend of the Galactic Heroes gave an explanation to going back to the old forms of communication that I kinda use it now for everything.

Basically, that electromagnetic interference and jamming technology has become to ludicrously advanced that you can't rely on any form of electronic communication anymore.

That's probably the same in SW, I mean, they have sentient AIs.

>hurr this design is so impractical it has so many glaring weaknesses
>ignoring that these things are basically gigantic late model StuGs
>armoured enough to weather return fire at the range it operates at
>main weapon can destroy opposing armour and fortifications at superior range
>can fling HE around to support the platoons of infantry often seen riding atop them into battle before disembarking to engage
They're enormous assault guns. Hoth is a perfect example of their application; raining death and ruin from 2km out while the enemy heavy weapons have to get within knife-fight ranges to be effective, at which point the AT-AT vomits out infantry. The only thing 'silly' about them is the giant legs.

The legs are I guess to give it firing angle on its straight line laser cannons.

Missiles, shells, and Arcing plasma do work, but they may not work well under a theater shield which may just be able to lower the "Ceiling" to block mortar and howitzer trajectory stuff.

And Walkers are for use under shields primarily.

Too bad these things were made out of paper

Well they are suppose to fire from behind trees and hills so I guess the legs work too. Replacing the legs for wheels, now that would be retarded.

> 4 pair of legs instead of 2 or 3

Yeah the glass cockpit should be a metal slit with holographic displays to the pilot. Remote controlled turret would be better still.

Base Delta Zero would be cheaper, but less shock and awe.