The Pizza arrives but the game's been cancelled

We make the GM host and pay for food and drinks. Sometimes I don't even play, I just show up for the free food and mess around on my phone.

>The Pizza Arrives. The game can finally begin.
>The Pizza is the nickname you gave to your Acne Laden Player.
>The Pizza is MVP and total Bro. Really cool guy.

i wish i could hate you to death

...

I wish I could bait you to death

Do you not say, "It's $58," before the divvy if what you're handing the driver is $58? Certainly you're not paying tax and delivery fee separately.

NO. NO. BAD user. NO. GO TO THE CORNER.

I'm not even angry. If your GM hasn't swatted the phone of your hands and punched you in the face already, he deserves it.

She doesn't have a lot of friends so RPG night is really her only social activity

I've been jewed like that before when people get sandwiches and shit.

>jewed

Could you not? This isn't /pol/, throwing out casual hatespeech here isn't cool.

Incidentally, the player that does it is jewish. It's appropriate.

Oh, fuck you with a rusty fork.

I've been thinking about pretending to be in love with her and then dumping her on her birthday.

Talk me out of it.

The pussy might be too good, are you willing to risk that?

>The pizza guy crashed into the players' car

I mean if it's good I can always just keep it going until I get bored.

That's bold talk for a master baiter.

I will be forced to make Veeky Forums even worse than it is now. You think it's bad right now? I can get 12 threads off an hour between two IP Addresses. Worse, I know exactly how to make an unbannable shitpost... 3.5, Numenera, Cypher system, Pathfinder, and degenerate threads. And that's just the lazy ones. You haven't even seen the original bait threads I have stored away. Each causing the right amount of anger and discussion to propel them to a full bump limit.

In short, Wayne will actually start ruining the board.

That and if she's really as desperate for company and affection as you say, who knows what fucked up and devious and degenerate things she'd do to keep you locked inside her. She'd get you to spill your spaghetti while you're balls-deep in her claptrap and before you know it she's wearing a cow-print bikini and begging you to milk her while you've got a plug up your ass or something wild.

Best to just leave it be.

>You try to cancel but the games been pizza'd

You know, you might be right. There is a guy in the group she obviously has a crush on, I'll just try and fuck him instead.

I don't care what everyone else thinks about you Wayne, I think you're alright.

Fuck him, fuck her, get him to fuck her, cuck him, cuck her, then make them both your fuckslaves. Slaanesh demands it.

Holy shit gb2leddit and kill yourself when you get there, you massive, weeping vagina.

Wayne, the hero we don't deserve

>paying taxes

wtf I love Wayne now

I know right! Veeky Forums is a politically correct place. Everyone should check their privilege

Why is that so believable?

Pay by card by phone when you order.

>chronic name user threatens to ruin the board
already there fampai

>no one shows up because they stressed out about buying pizza so the game got canceled

Best post.

I do it because it's the most hilarious joke ever. You know what anyone who's annoyed at me for namefagging does? They reward the behavior by making a big deal out of it. They insult me, they tell me to stop, they make it their problem.

Better yet, namefagging for me is an act of laziness. It takes effort to delete my name, but requires nothing of me to leave it. I am literally doing nothing and it annoys people.

OP here, this happened.,,

...and then the gm had to cancel again due to an unexpected IRL occurrence.

Thats no good user, I hope in time you can see where you've gone wrong.
You may be across the point of no return user.
Oh, you've been baiting people. Good to know you're not as shitty as you were pretending.

...

user, the game ended months ago. If you want to eat a groups worth of pizza every week just admit it

>The pizza is running the game now

>The Game arrives, but it's been on the pizza and the rulebooks are all soggy with grease.

When are we getting a Fire Emblem tabletop roleplaying game?

>the pizza arrives but there is no good pizza delivery in the whole capital, especially not with student meal coupons

I want back to my small town with 2 good pizza deliveries and a godly Italian restaurant.
1 internet to the user who can tell where I live.

What can I buy with 1 internet?

Half a plot device.

Can I be your shitposting apprentice? This is masterful tradecraft.

Calm down tumblr, you'll spill your mayonaise gender.

>dinner is cooked but players skip out on the session

It's better than average, but I doubt he could pull it off more than once. It's straight shock value with a good solid punchline, but it lacks longevity. Repeated it would become little more than a Virtpost imitation.

I am trying to set you on fire with my mind.

Shit is that the exchange rate on it these days? In that case I up my offer to 2.

...

I've been mulling over homebrewing one ever since Awakening and it came back to mind with Echoes, but it'd probably just be a bunch of aspie numbercrunching and bad balance.

Just use d100. Every major FE combat mechanic is based on d100. The formula for combat is a lot simpler than you think. There's this system which is far from perfect but I've adapted it considerably and hopefully will have a test game with friends this month.
fed20.wikidot.com/start

I found this homebrew a few years ago. We had a fun campaign before it died due to school and summer. The balance is all over the place though, and random leveling can leave you with bad or amazing stat arrays.

>when all your other stats are higher than your hp as a mage

Holy hell, it actually got updated. I thought it was dead.

Better question, when do we get
>Pizza Delivery, the RPG
?

Here is the other book for that system.

Gee Bill, how come your mom lets you have two Internets?

I'm sure you can find a Snow Crash setting with Pizza Delivery fluff.

Why are you trying to give me a boner at work nigga ?

...

Build a system around the idea of over-the-top bullshit hampering goofy anime-ish pizza deliverymen with an emphasis on the system moving as fast as possible. Every delivery must be made within 20 minutes. Real-time.

Sounds like the Fururama RPG, but it's now Planet Express Pizzeria.

1d4chan.org/wiki/Futurama:_Now_With_Dice

No

...

Enjoy your disgusting runny shits

I'm not sure how you would do it. Weapon degradation seems like pointless book-keeping, random leveling is just videogamey bullshit.

As says a d100 hack. Alternatively, hack 5e somehow, make some grid maps, give players advantage for weapon type shenanigans,

4e

Google Ninjaburger the RPG and be amazed. Refluff it to Pizza and be even more amazed.

Refluff it into Pirate Pizza specifically. Crucially important.