=][= The Life and Times of Inquisitor Bland =][=

...wait, I've only read like half the previous thread, didn't he have his personal platoon of Imperial Shocktroops?

Brandon has an army of Ordo Hereticus specific troops, Salazar has the Amazon Penal legion. Different to direct minions though.

I was thinking of writing a short writeup on Lucilla and Brandon, but an important question is whether chess exists in 41st millenium.

Shit I typed before the last thread bottomed out midway through posting:
My impression of Bland:
>Platoon of Inquisitorial Storm troopers: well-equipped, disciplined elite soldiers, who secure critical documents Bland needs before the target of the investigation knows what's even happening. Last line of defense if things get out of hand on a mission.
>Despite his best efforts, his sons joined the Inquisition, and through his influential contacts, he has had them assigned to his personal detail. (Something which is against regulation, but their continued success has silenced most critics.) They head the twin arms of his martial forces, the eldest focused on defensive close quarters combat on spacefaring vessels, and the younger on lightning raids. He worries deeply about them, but their devotion is one of his greatest sources of pride.
>He had the sergeant he served under in the guard made into a personal servoskull, so that his wisdom, strength, and sacrifice would not be forgotten. The skull is intricately carved with filigree interwoven with a list of his deeds in life. Concealed within is a digital weapon, a last line of defense.
>Hoverchair is unremarkable to the eye, merely a worn wood-paneled thing several times his age. It conceals an advanced cogitator, instrumental in his work, and an advanced refractor shield which has saved his life on numerous occasions.
>half-body mechanized augmentative brace for his paralyzed side, worn over his clothes. Though unarmored, it is still quite heavy, and so he walks with a cane on his "good" side, to help balance the weight. It gives his gait a very distinctive rhythm. The hand is augmented with a variety of interface devices and mechandendrites to facilitate writing, machine access, and sifting through huge volumes of paper.
>The tip of his unornamented cane is a shock weapon, allowing him to deliver incapacitating blows to any who would stand in his way, or at higher settings, lethal, disintegrating strikes.

Nemesis is an Administratum clerk, who always files things in the wrong place, and is thus the bane of his work.

Regicide, yeah.

I thought we made the cane a power weapon, a Crozius Arcanum that no one knows is one, due to it being a design modified by Brandon's orders to make look like a regular walking cane.

I don't remember anything about a Crozius Arcanum... I thought a shock weapon would be more appropriate for a half-paralyzed guy with likely next to no strength.

This all sounds good, although I think his sons were officers in a guard regiment that was trained after he was sent off the the guard in his youth and grew up without him eventually following his path. After he saved the Lord Inquisitor that took him as an acolyte (we should roll him) he found his sons and took them to be part of his retinue. Maybe one son could be a commissar or something and another a stormtrooper?

Well, it doesn't really matter that much which it is, it's a dangerous weapon nonetheless.

And who knows, maybe he can use it proficiently left-handed. Who knows what kind of a hero he was before the accident. Either is fine, of course.

Power-cane is a bit cooler and inconspicuous when properly disguised.

It's actually kind of funny how Bland became the epitome of "More than meets the eye" and Salazar is "Exactly what you see, and more". Such polar opposites

That's a good point about his pre-accident capability. I just picture power weapons as being more of a brute-force thing, rather than a subtle finesse weapon, and not suiting his character as a result of that.

But such great complements to each other! I picture it like a classic buddy-cop movie. Except way darker, and far, far more violent.

Do we have any fluff on Mrs Bland?

Middle-aged slightly pudgy housewife, best cook in the segmentum. Possibly an ex-assassin? I don't really like that bit though, I preferred the "planetary governor's daughter Bland got pregnant resulting in the governor condemning Bland into the Guard" backstory someone wrote in the last thread.

I'm gonna say, this is gonna be a four posts long story about chess. I wrote it pretty quickly, so there might be stupid stuff in it, but I tried.

--------

The door to Inquisitor Bland’s office opened, and his acolyte, Lucilla Verrucosus, entered the room.

>Greetings, Inquisitor Bland. You summoned me.
Her heavily synthesized voice calmly echoed across the room. As she approached the silent inquisitor, all the little noises from her cybernetics felt amplified in the otherwise completely quiet room. The inquisitor had not noticed her at this point.

When Lucilla reached her usual position, a few paces away from the plain table the inquisitor was actively working on, he finally raised his head and looked at her. Even without being a chirurgeon, she could see that turning his head like that was painful to him, no matter how well he tried to hide it.

>Ah, Lucilla. You are earlier than I expected you would. By three minutes, even. That is good.
His mouth didn’t move as he spoke, the voice coming from the Vox Servitor next to him. It had a high-level synthesizer, so it sounded very humane in comparison to Lucilla’s.
>I presume you have a few hours to spare?
Even though the voice from the synthesizer was quite monotone, Lucilla could feel the genuine curiosity that his words had.

>Yes, Inquisitor Bland, I have no grave matters to attend.
Lucilla knew that there inquisitors rarely summon their acolytes without reason, and asking for hours of time to spare, this was not going to be a briefing of a new mission. She just hoped it was not a lecture about what happened two months ago.

>Good. Have you ever played Regicide?

>The game rumored to be older than the Imperium? I must admit to have never been that much into frivolities like games, inquisitor, but I think I’ve skimmed through some research on it. I know how the game plays.
Trying to restrain her tendency to start going on tangents in the presence of the inquisitor, she somehow managed to condense her words into two manageable sentences.

>In that case… Fetch a brown box from Shelf 33 E-4 and bring it to the table.
As Lucilla turned towards Shelf 33, she noticed the inquisitor making some room on the table.

After skimming a little while through the section of files, Lucilla found the brown box. It rattled a little when she picked it up, and judging from the size, she already knew what was in it. But why?

After 31 moves, Lucilla saw that Inquisitor Bland was losing. The research she had skimmed through stated that there is a method of translating the game’s moves and state to a calculation, and her current tactic was cutting all the highest-value moves Inquisitor Bland could take, so that the numbers would be on her side. All she needed to do was to capture the Inquisitor’s captain to get a mission about a corrupt Tech-Priest on Mars, giving her inquisitorial access to some of the more secretive research done there. A great opportunity for someone of a relatively low standing in the ranks like as her.

Suddenly the game hit a deadlock. The move Inquisitor Bland just made was not an amazing one number-wise, but its effect on the game board was odd. According to her calculations, almost half of inquisitor’s pieces had moves equal to the same number. It was not a particularly high number, but it was the highest on the inquisitor’s side.

After a long silence that had lingered over them while they had played, after this move, the inquisitor’s voice rang from the servitor.

>Through your analysis, would you say that this game is a logical one?
Although the tone was monotone, Lucilla presumed this question was important.

Pondering and calculating the game board a little, she found the most high-value move she could make. She picked her librarian piece and moved it to a central position on the board, and answered.

>Yes, Inquisitor. The method for counting the worth of each move has put me at an advantage, hasn’t it? Even though I’ve never played the game before, it would look like I am winning.

>So, what was that move you did right now?
Lucilla saw Inquisitor Bland smirking ever so slightly. She has seen him do it before, and it rarely has meant any good.

>Librarian to E-4. Gives me a strong offence to play in the center of the board, and with a few moves I would be threatening your captain.

>Good, just as expected of my Acolyte. How many moves has there been in this game, until now?

>Thirty three…

>Where did you fetch this game from?

The realization hit Lucilla like an Imperial Cruiser. Somehow this man predicted how the entire game was going to be like, and planted the game board to the exact location on the shelves where her 33rd move would land.

The inquisitor saw the distraught face Lucilla was making, and was ready to give her a lecture. He stood up from his chair, and slowly walked to face the window behind his desk.

>Every game I play is a social one. The first move I made was when I asked whether you had ever played Regicide. I knew that if you had read “Regicide: The oldest game in the Imperium”, you would mention it in one way or the other.
Taking a deep breath, he continued.

>You see, the important part about any game is not knowing the optimal way to play, but to know exactly how your opponent plays. “Regicide: The oldest game in the Imperium” includes the calculation theory you mentioned, and had you read it, you would utilize it. I memorized a game that would end up with you moving your librarian to E-4, because I trusted that your calculations would be right.

>I must admit that your game has been very impressive, Inquisitor. But was it worth it? Even if you know how I made my moves, I’m still at an advantage in the game currently. And what if I hadn’t skimmed through the book?

>There are five other boards I’ve put amongst the files of this office, and the one I asked you to bring was only one of the possible predictions I had made. Had you worded your answer differently, I would’ve asked you to fetch a different board. Your methods are rigid, and you are still naïve. Even though you knew that I had a trick up my sleeve, you still trusted the research you had found about the game.
He turned to face Lucilla, sat down on his chair, and prepared to finish this lecture.
>So, do you believe you can still beat me?

Dammit, I realized I forgot to add in the part where he said that the calculation theory had a weakness.

Well, I can redo it at some point.

Yeah, I thought that whole ex-assassin thing seemed pretty forced. I like the idea that she's just a normal woman far more.

Nice! I'm curious to see how you'll end that. (Has he actually beaten her? Can he? Or is this just another psychological angle, intended to render the game irrelevant?)

I thought I would leave it at that with an open ending.

I can write an actual conclusion for it later, but the point was more to just show his methodology from someone else's point of view.

Honestly, Inquisitor Bland is a character is pretty hard to write from an internal perspective. Having someone else be the perspective to show him through is the only way I could write him at least. Showing his thought processes would ruin a part of his character for me.

It was alright, although Bland taking a deep breath doesn't really make sense if he isn't physically talking

I thought casually standing up and walking around was kind of breaking character as well, at least without it being more of an ordeal.

That works too, though the follow-through on that whole exercise I think speaks a great deal to who he is and how he operates.

I admit, that was a mistake. It's really hard to remember that he doesn't need to pace his speech like that.

I should've pointed that out, yes. I was thinking about dramatic effect more than logic at that point. Writing disabled people is hard.

Bland may be disabled, but I don't think he'd let it stop him. If he needs to walk around to prove a point he'll do it even if it's painful and awkward.

I agree, but after drawing attention to how difficult it is for him to move his head, I think it's worth emphasizing or describing the pain and difficulty walking would present.

I'm not perfect, I didn't proof it perfectly, so I'll fix it in any following incarnation of the story.

Cool. I like the idea of the story and Bland's plan, so I look forwards to it. If this thread dies just post it somewhere else.

I wonder how I should post it, maybe as a PDF? I kind of dislike writefagging it on separate posts, because it breaks the pacing really bad.

Write it at once, break into character limit, post them all in a row. That's how everyone does it.

That's what I did before, but it breaks the pacing pretty bad, and having the same writefaggotry twice feels like kind of shitting up the thread.

Gotta see to it tomorrow anyway, I gotta go to sleep.

Sorry, I didn't mean to belittle your work or anything, that was meant to be constructive. :/

A lot of people use pastebin as a way to store a bunch of text online. I believe it's free.

It's was more of a statement about me rushing it. I know I can fix it, it just made me realize a mistake and put my self-deprecating mode on.

We need something to roll to keep the thread alive. Any good ideas? Bad ones are fine too.

kinda stumped atm for ideas, maybe Bland has a friend in higher places but we dont really know his relationship with other imperial factions

We also don't know anything about Bland's past.

Like, his connections to Administratum would be interesting to uncover. Even as an Inquisitor, he kind of steps on Administratum's toes, so I would guess he would either be in cahoots with them or he's a nuisance.

Where does his affiliation against Slaanesh come from, other than obviously his own ascetisism?

Under whom was he an acolyte, and what happened? How did he get paralyzed?

He was paralyzed when he strangled a Slaaneshi sorceror with his bare hands as a Sergeant in the Guard, saving the life of the Inquisitor who trained him. That we covered in the last thread.
We could roll the Lord Inquisitor who trained him, though.

Rolled 24 (1d100)

Allright then. Let's roll it.

I'll roll d100 for gender, then we gotta roll, say, d80+20 for age (So we get an at least middle-aged character)

Rolled 6 + 20 (1d80 + 20)

Sure, I'll roll for age

Oh no

Rolled 72 (1d100)

26, so middle aged dude right now. So he is a pretty young for an Inquisitor lord

Hmm, was there a mistake? Or because it's a young bloke?

>>>>

No matter, I'll continue.

Rolling for Ordo, and then we need one who rolls for 1-3 d100 for titles.

Rolling for three to make this guy more impressive

Rolled 97, 98, 66 = 261 (3d100)

Whoops

Rolled 5 (1d100)

Two rolls for NOTHING, and one for miscellaneous.

This is already hard because the Ordo came out as Minoris.

This would make it seem like he's the same kind of a shadow man like Bland. Very interesting.

So, what is this man's Ordo?

Rolling philosophy, you do 1-3 d100 for methodology.

Rolled 8, 33, 91 = 132 (3d100)

Sure thing

Rolled 78 (1d100)

So he's an extreme puritan, too...

>Fides Omnia Vincit (Faith conquers all): Their faith is a very important part of who this Inquisitor is, whatever it may be, making them unflinching in their personal convictions.

>Nemo Est Supra Leges (No man is above the law): Title and affiliation are nothing to this Inquisitor, to whom before their lord and master all are equal. May persecute other Inquisitors they think have strayed.

>Vota Vita Mia (My life is devoted): To whatever cause they have pledged themselves, this character will be unflinching in its execution above all other things.

It seems we have a man of VERY EXTREME FAITH. Whew. Almost everything has something to do with pure faith in the emperor.

Should we skip the Psychic ability? Because this guy seems like the type who takes none of it.

I'll roll for it for fun, just to see if he has some dark past with it or something. If it's under 50 let's just ignore it.

So, you roll 3d100 for Quirks.

Rolled 7, 82, 51 = 140 (3d100)

Well, those philosophies do kinda fit the way Bland eventually shapes up

Whoops, apparently 1-50 is that there is no ability at all. Whatever, at 78 it would seem like he has had training as a psyker, but is a changed man and doesn't use his abilities anymore.

Welp.

>Always masked: Never revealing themselves, either through a mask or by relaying orders from behind a barrier or vox-communicator, the Inquisitor's appearance is a mystery.

HE'S A GODDAMN SHADOW MAN

>Attractive: The Inquisitor is very attractive. They may exploit this to its full advantage.

Wait, how does this work?

>Afraid of space travel: The void of space can be a scary place, either from phobia or experience. This makes the character loathe to travel for long periods of time in space.

What in the heck is with this guy.

Rolled 81, 24, 37, 56, 69 = 267 (5d100)

Rolling 5d100 for resources, and that should be it.

He clearly is a cybernetic with a variety of detachable yet attractive faces.

Rolled 74, 10 = 84 (2d100)

>Forbidden tomes: The Inquisitor keeps proscribed texts.
>Personal army: The Inquisitor maintains a privately acquired body of troops. Roll on the 'Personal army' table.
>Unarmed spaceship: Roll on the 'Unarmed spaceship' table.
>Infil-traitor network: A number of mind-wiped agents with hypno-imprinted personalities are employed by the Inquisitor.
>Well established friends: Influential characters friends in high places, such as nobles, politicians, etc.

Rolling 2d100, first for personal army, second for unarmored spaceship. If we get a goddamn tug, I swear to god.

Always Masked + Infiltrator network means he uses mind-wiped agents imprinted with his own personality as proxies

>Imperial (other): Arbitrators, Enforcers, Skitarii (technically Mechanicus, not Imperial plausible if the Inquisitor has ties with the Mechanicus), armed Cultists, Penal units, Naval Security, PDF, Noble House troops, etc.

And you know what?

>Tug: A small craft, not even a kilometre in length, with only five thousand hands aboard. Ugly but functional.

So, is the fucking tug something that was passed down to Bland? A parting gift or something?

No wonder he has only one nickname. He's the shadow man to all other shadow men.

Say he has a Penal Legion under his belt, a unit focused on religious reformation (so they're crazed fanatics, but not very effective).
Dude utilizes swappable faces and mind-wiped proxy agents to communicate with people and there's no guarantee the man Bland saved was the real one, but he was rewarded anyway.

>So, is the fucking tug something that was passed down to Bland? A parting gift or something?

This tug is like a curse at this point.

>Fanatic Inquisitor gets tug, gives it to Bland, Bland gives it to Salazar

The tug has been passed down since the time the Emperor was walking around

So, basically, Bland learned most of his tactics, establishing connections, working silently, dropping forces to the right locations et al from him.

It would make sense for the shadow man to take him in, he was rewarded, and he saw the cunning and willpower of the man, and taught Bland to fight again while paralyzed. And Bland took these things to heart, and became pretty damn good at it.

Yeah, I'm starting to think that there must be something special about this Tug. I wonder if I could find any good tables that have some special traits for spacecraft. Don't even need to be 40k-specific, they can be converted.

What if the two quirks are a result of the Slaanesh attack? He used to be an up and coming handsome inquisitor, then became a shut in after the attack.

ONCE USED BY THE EMPEROR!

for an hour or so

not that anyone knows

We discussed the possibility of it being a sorcerer attack, but looking at this, it would seem more logical that it was the classic; Gellar Field Failure.

can we name the tug the armstrong? Maybe it has its own story like it has been passed down so much that no one actually knows where it came from.

This tug has been passed down through generations and is still in a workable state

Sounds about right.

Aren't the best ships in the Imperium like thousands of years old?

This tug, called Armstrong, is like them, except this was a really shoddy ship back then, these days it's passable due to tech regression. It somehow seems to survive the freakiest of accidents.

i approve of this.
this has to be a seriously old ass ship though, something that was old around the horus heresy old.

That's pretty good. A small, shitty ship, that has managed to survive the ages of time, is actually just by sheer luck, and is passed down like some kind of a disease.

What if the ship is actually very prone to malfunctioning and crashing, but it never breaks down? It can always be fixed with relatively low effort.

What if Salazar has used it at some point to take out an objective, just trusting that the ship doesn't break down even if it crashes? What if the ship actually has some tech that prevents it from breaking down, like some space suspension that can actually take almost any bump?

what if it also has a cranky machine spirit in it?

Like every captain of the ship has a tradition of putting a coffee cup in some shrine deep in the ship before any flight. They don't know why but the last captain told them to always do it (the valhallan one from the ciaphas cain books) and when they come to replace the cup it is always empty.

That sounds pretty fitting, yeah. 10 000 years in a scrappy shit like that makes anyone cranky.

I'm getting some Occurrence Border vibes from this tug.

>implying its not the occurrence border long after the AGP were done with that broken pile of suffering.

>Suddenly Veeky Forums has it's own canon.

The writefag who wrote about how Salazar and Bland met disappeared somewhere, huh...

Some writefaggotry would probably wake these threads up. Or drawfaggotry.