What is the worst boardgame you've ever played?

So just like Cards Against Humanity?

Delete

And decided that only the word "you", of all the words that could possibly be shortened, absolutely must be shortened despite having 2/3rds of the fucking cards be blank anyway. I don't know why I'm focusing on that so damn much but I am and it's driving me crazy. Also, aren't like 90% of memes screencaps of copyrighted shit like anime and spongebob, or licensed photos from fucking stock photo websites? There has so be some sort of legality these guys are skirting here.

Off the top of my head, Last Night On Earth

Ticket to ride
Any edition

Dead of Winter.

The game can have no winner.

One player is antagonistic to everyone else but can lose just as easily as them.

Items are in general really overpowered or trash.

And the worst is that turns take somewhere between 5-15 minutes, and no one has anything to do on other's turns. Oh and it's typically a 4-6 player game, with a large number of rounds.

Basically all the "cool" new games that mistake complexity and number of mechanics with fun can all be burned.

Kobolds ate my baby was pretty disappointing.
It's like munchkin except you're required to be drunk as fuck.. which none of us were.

I think it's funny that we're seeing a lot of older, long-running games returning to more simplistic mechanics while newer games are going for the more complex route.

Risk.

Zombicide. What an absolute piece of shit cancer miniature-hype game.

Trouble, its a game that is completely up to chance with no semblance of strategy or skill. its just rolling a die around a $5 game board that you spent $20 on.

Oh please. I will play exploding kittens any day over some of the shit I've seen.

A friend and I used to have a running challenge. Every week he would find, acquire, and force me to play a terrible board game with him and I would buy him the most foul drinks I could find from local ethnic grocery stores and force him to drink them while we played. There's some truly awful shit out there that makes Monopoly look like Puerto Rico. These three are definitely the worst that I've played. All of them minimize player skill to zero and are essentially roll the die and see what happens games, but without the decency to end quickly or intuitively and can take hours to play. Worst of all, two of the games are literally broken and can form a situation in which the game simply does not function anymore and winning is literally impossible for any player. Those situations would be rare, but the fact that they are possible in theory, and especially that they wouldn't be discovered until you've been playing for an hour or so really burns my bacon.

Collateral Damage

Bought it for a friend as a joke based on the box art. I've never seen a game include a grease pencil before or since. We got through one turn before we had to stop.

Please tell me that isn't actually a thing. That looks horrendous.

Fight me.

Any other really shitty games you can think of?

Christ, what's the game actually about?

40K

I've played it. Everyone was laughing except me. None of the jokes, sorry, memes, were funny. I think a mixtape joke was made three rounds in a row. I was playing random cards and I somehow won. I felt alone, confused, and scared. Moral of the story, don't play games with normies.

It's bad, but it's not bad.

Unfortunately it's real. I work for Amazon and end up handling a few copies of it each week along with other shitty CAH clones.

This user beat me to it but this is another one of those "God have mercy on our souls" bad games, but for different reasons. Obviously, there's the cringe level, but aside from that the rules are next to incomprehensible at best and unplayable at worst. Believe it or not but there's an entire genre of sub-deviantArt quality "anime"-style games made in the west. All of them are varying flavors of OH GOD WHY (pic related). There are bad games from Japan too but for some reason Japan never really got the idea that "anime" could be aesthetic unto itself and I just have less exposure to them because I live in burgerland.

Other truly miserable board game experiences I have had:
>Clue: Secrets and Spies
Luckily, I believe this board game can't be played anymore because it requires you to send text messages to get various clues and I believe that server has been shut down
>Caveman: Quest for Fire
Another one of those games where people do stuff that has no effect on the game until someone randomly triggers the win and it's over. Mercifully short though.
>Mousquetaires du Roy
I have never actually played this game, so I can't speak for whether it is truly awful to play as anything else listed here, but the rulebook is bar none the worst I have ever read. I have a standing bet with my circle of friends that anyone new to the group can read the rule book for one hour and then is given an opportunity to explain to me how a single round of the game works. Anyone who can do so to my satisfaction (I once sat down with the rule book for two hours to figure it out myself) is entitled to $20. To date I've never had to give out that crisp like-new Andrew Jackson.

Goddamn, you're shipping boxes of SHEER PAIN to unsuspecting people

You're kinda like a god

youtube.com/watch?v=2UABSyUHpAQ

Its not the worst ever but it's the one that disappointed me the most. I expected a fast paced competitive party game with funny cards.

What I got was repetitive art, poorly written instructions and gameplay that ammounts to nothing more than drawing cards till someone wins, no skill, no real table flip moments just a series of cards with the same 4 pictures of monkey's on them.

Not even two minutes into this fucking video and I've heard more canned laughter and bad jokes than an entire episode of Big Bang Theory. I really, truly hope no one buys this game.

That needs a slight addendum. Monopoly as played by idiots that don't play by RAW is horrible. Played by RAW it is actually tolerable for a roll and move type game.

Seriously fuck putting all fines and shit on Free Parking. Whoever originated that houserule deserves to have an entire Monopoly set shoved up their ass.

I hope that other user is right and they receive a C&D for using copyrighted photos

youtube.com/watch?v=G6-rDd63Ims
>Oh, a new character! Let's check out his dossier...

My friend got it at PAX East.
We assumed it would get funny when we were drunk.
We were wrong.

>Yeddy Vedder
This offends me on a spiritual level

No, you are wrong.
They deserve to have every Monopoly set shoved up their ass.

No need to make every game of monopoly shitty
How about just every set that was ever used along with bad houserules?

Its almost all stock photos with a sad pepe or two thrown in. The stock photos were probably just paid for.
Source: I've had the misfortune of playing this game. It's just as bad as it looks, it's amazing what normal people consider memes.

For one they don't understand the difference between an image macro and meme. They just throwing some text on an image instantly makes a meme.

To be fair, what I meant was one of every variation. Every copy ever might be more fitting though, in all fairness
Your way just makes every purchased copy shitty and leaves the unpurchased copies free of shit.

Pathfinder.

Honestly probably Settlers of Catan. It pretends to be all strategic and shit, but it's so random that I felt like I had no control over winning or losing. You literally just roll the dice and pray you get the resources you need or you're fucked.

>requires you to send text messages to get various clues
What a shitty fucking gimmick.

Talisman. I've still had some fun times with it, but it's a fucking awful game in any way you can measure.

Is this a zombie game with miniatures? I've been roped into playing like five of them or the same one five times or who knows, but they've all been miserable.

Your favorite game is boring garbage

>the rules are next to incomprehensible at best and unplayable at worst.

I won't argue with you about the cringe, but I found the rules perfectly clear and serviceable. What, specifically, did you find wrong with them?

Der Fuhrer. It's, in theory, a game about the political maneuvering in Weimar Germany, as you try to become the biggest party around. In practice, only the Nazi and SDP can actually amass enough votes to win. The recommendations for the others? "Try for second or third place!"

Do you have a pdf for that or did someone have an original copy? Its pretty rare

I like Monopoly and I'm a communist. Really shows how shitty capitalism can be in a fun yet aggravating setting.

Playing Cards Against Humanity for the 70th time, yes the game is good for shock value the first # of times, but its tedious. We've made a rule not to use the first or second expansion packs now.

Game of Phones was humilitating. Some people were defensive about showing some things, or if they were true social outcasts they had nothing to win it with. Usually we use it to pad out CAH to make it more fun.

I think most of CAH's jokes fall flat because they feel some need to include celebrity names as white cards. Most people either don't get the majority of them, the cards are too specific or the black cards simply don't fucking work with celebrity name answers. Every time I play I end up with a hand full of them eventually because they just suck as answers.

I've considered mixing CAH and Apples to Apples, to see if the combination of mundane subjects to shock value subjects mixes it up enough to make it entertaining.

Characters that fall in love with each other are pretty much out of the game. God help you if your gang members are bi.

Oh, you weren't talking about your posted image. That makes that much clearer.

realism

>I like Monopoly and I'm a communist.

Monopoly was designed by a Communist.
The original concept was meant to present two sets of rules, demonstrating that cooperation provides better results than capitalist competition, but it backfired because only the competitive aspect makes for an actual game.

Munchkin is like Exploding Kittens, but takes 4 times as long.

Munchkin.

The only redeeming factor is it may help finance GURPS.

I know.

Hey, they made the decision to buy it. I only do what I'm told.

No it wasn't, it was designed by a Georgist. Don't claim things that aren't your own, commie.

played it at a party. whoever won got to be the judge. it kept cycling between these three girls with shit taste in humor that all had the same shit taste in humor.

This is why the judge order is supposed to be a clockwise/counter clockwise motion.

The game has potential......except it really doesn't.

CAH isn't a terrible for a party game. It's dead simple to pick up and a solid icebreaker. Unfortunately the game relies almost entirely on reference or shock humor. References are easily missed, and shock humor only stays funny for so long.

Of course the game has problems (like no way to effectively get rid of shit hands). Interestingly, none of the snarky ironic CAH clones have even tried to fix these problems, instead choosing to copy the entire fucking game down to the fonts used on the packaging.

One of my aunts and her adult offspring love Cards Against Humanity. They just got that game and the knowledge that I will someday inevitably end up playing it has me contemplating suicide.

Well in the case of stock photos it probably would not cost that much to just get a license.

I think they just copy it so people will buy their cards as additions to the CAH set. They don't want to make their own game, they just wanna cash in on what CAH's already done. It's a real shame too, if you got rid of the reference and shock humor and added just better black and white cards across the board, CAH would be a lot of fun for a quick party game. A few online friends and I used to run online CAH games with custom decks over some website and we had a blast, especially when we included blank cards that we could write our own answers in with to make shit personal.

All that piece of shit has going for it is mah trading.

It at least gets better when you add in the expansions with new areas.

I played it once, I think the game included a "sorority girls who learned about memes in 2016" expansion. Because half the caption cards were about purses, female office drama, Instagram likes, going out with the girls, and other shit like that.

Remembering those cards, I understand and pity your situation.

>online CAH games with custom decks
This is how you fix CAH.
I remember a few years back some guy would host a room for /v/, all the cards were references to video games and developers with some vidya related memes sprinkled in. And of course there were blank cards that you could type your own words onto. Shit was pretty fun.

Most older games mechanics are, sad to say, terrible.
I had a game when I was about 7-8 years old called "Bonde spelet" (translate Farmers game), its similar to Monopoly,
Recently I had the pleasure of finding this lump of gold and try it out. Hyped as hell, me and my friends sat down and had just about the worst gaming experience ever. The game is just shit. Random shit!

See, the problem is that no one had the balls to think outside the box regarding anything game related. You had your board, and the dice decided if you got to draw a card or expand your empire/character/whatever. You didn't really have much of a choice other than enjoy the ride.

My first encounter with a somewhat "out of the box thinking" was with Talisman. Now many people claim this to be the worst game ever, random incarnate so to speak. But this game brought something I had never encountered before, multiple options with each and every dice roll!
Compared to today's games its also shit, but still holds nostalgia in my heart, so Ill always enjoy a game of Talisman.

I think that's a bit like saying "All The Shining has going for it is muh horror." It's the vast majority of the experience. If you're not into that kind of game/movie then fair enough but it's just stupid to dismiss the core mechanic and then say there's nothing there.

That's partially it, the way you fix CAH is to play with people who you would otherwise actually interact with. It won't make you magically enjoy other people's company, especially if you don't share the same sense of humor.

Seconded

I agree that it'd be boring if it were just a solitaire "roll dice until you have what you need" game, but table-wide shortages happen at least once per game and are incredibly boring. You can't trade if nobody has the one thing everyone needs.

Personally I'm thinking of upping the max hand limit to 9, so that rolling a 7 isn't such a huge fuck you unless you're really hoarding stuff.

>yfw the fp is also the bp

Heroquest.

But only because my brothers were utter spastics who couldn't grasp the concept of working together and thus couldn't even complete the first level without me housruling and giving them extra spells and better weapons and shit.

That sounds comfy as fuck provided you don't get too many fags. With current /v/ it'd be unplayable though unless you tried it at like 4AM. That board's completely gone to shit.

I think i've seen this artist before. They do transformation fetish shit mostly.

Munchkin

I'ma talk about how to "fix" monopoly.

First things first: Never touch the Free Parking Houserule.

Now then, we move on to things to remove from the game:

1. No extra turns on doubles.
2. No Hotels
3. You don't get money for passing Go, only for landing on it.

And here's what you get in exchange:

When you roll the dice, you decide where to go

Lnoe is really fun. You don't like player agency?

>Choosing where to go

You realize nobody would go bankrupt ever if you did this?

+1

I can't decide between Exploding Memes or Joking Hazrd (the shitty Cyanide and Happiness) one, but they reinforce my belief that webcomic creators don't make good card game designers.

I've basically never had a successful trade happen in Catan. Everyone I've played with is so shit-scared of letting someone else have an edge that they just flat out refuse in case they're helping you.

In 3 player mode house stark has a huge advantage.

in 4 player mode baratheon or stag man whatever has a huge advantage.

Just try to win as grayjoy. no really fucking try it. the same can be said with lanister. in a full game they are fucked by all sides.

It's really not that bad if you just follow RAW and dump all the stupid house rules.

I mean, it's not the greatest or anything, but it's perfectly playable.

This user fucking knows.

Trick there is to give them trades they think benefit them more than you. 2 or even 3 for one, that kind of thing.

I have never seen anybody use any sort of houserules in monopoly.

Battleships.

Hey, retard here, what does RAW mean?