Exactly one year from now, all statues will come to life

>Exactly one year from now, all statues will come to life

>Few know this. You are one of the few.

Does a stick figure made out of clay and then baked count as a statue?

Do the statues retain the memories and personalities of the people they represent?

Will I be able to stop this epidemic with a sledgehammer/other tools, or will the pieces come to life on their own?

>Does a stick figure made out of clay and then baked count as a statue?

The more life-like the statue, the more powerful and intelligent it will be. Clay stick-men may come to life, but they might have the mobility and intelligence of slugs.

>Do the statues retain the memories and personalities of the people they represent?

The personalities of the statues will be influenced by their outer form, but you don't really know how, or to what extent.

You do know that they will feel more loyal to their creators and their kin.

>Will I be able to stop this epidemic with a sledgehammer/other tools, or will the pieces come to life on their own?

A hammer could be highly effective, but many of these statues are now under guard by some mysterious organization.

What about statues that are a single piece composed of multiple people, like the Pieta?

What about damaged statues?

If I make a statue AFTER the initial transformation, will it be alive like the others or no?

would lead to interesting times in certain parts of the world... imagine hordes of 50-foot Buddhas rampaging through eastern Asia. Not to mention pic related

I'd move to a country with few to no statues.

>What about statues that are a single piece composed of multiple people, like the Pieta?
Each person will come to life. They may remain stuck together depending on the statue.

>What about damaged statues?
Depends. Something like the Venus de Milo would come to life and be mostly functional.

>If I make a statue AFTER the initial transformation, will it be alive like the others or no?
Unclear at this time.

>live as a white person in the south
>the only statues are Robert E. Lee, Jesus, and for some reason satan in birmingham

I think I'll be okay. There will be some minor statue fights, but the Jesus Statues outnumber the Satan statues, and Robert E. Lee will mostly be trying to fight in the north.

I spend the next year training as hard as possible to be the next Pygmalion.

So ISIS was /ourguys/ all along?

eh, how much of a sculptor would you become with a year of training? I mean, would you want to fall in love with some half-assed amateur statue?

There is inherent beauty in the faults and flaws of sculpture, and the artist (usually) has admiration for their own work. Being a subpar sculptor is a small price to pay for having a loving waifu created by your own hands.

No one tell the hot gluing community.

BRB, buying all the clothing mannequins I can find.

When the change happens, I'll have my private harem already.

>exactly one year

Gregorian or julian calendar?

Lunar

It has to be destroyed.

>it has to be destroyed
>Not /k/'s dream come true.

There's only one way to be certain that me and mine stay safe.

But can I fuck them?

>It has to be destroyed.
why? that's not a statue, it's a sculpture

If a statue is just a sculpture of a person , is a sculpture of the nature of man not a statue?

are you saying that the nature of man is a cube of weapons? anyway, the creators of the thing call it a sculpture.

And so we go to war.

>underrated post

How many points are they worth?

Guys we have a problem

Invest stock into tool companies

Better get to work!

Arrived at this thread to post this.

>rampaging
I think they would keep sitting in place, but this time dispersing advice on enlightment or stil lpassively observing. They're Buddhas, after all.

Fuck.

Call Rodina-Mother to deal with it

My fetishes have been getting worse and worse lately, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.

So what happens to busts and things like that? Are they just stuck as heads?

Immediately vacate any city with monuments and public art installations larger than 10'.

Stay the fuck away from museum districts and metropolitan areas.

Send my immediate family, ex-girlfriends and coworkers all day passes to Dinosaurs Alive! exhibits.

They will find a body, combine with it and become an unstoppable for of marble.

What of catacomb saints?

The capitalist wench shall meet its match soon enough.

Isis was right. Time for jyhad.

Vast armies of individual, intrically-crafted Terracotta soldiers march from China to face the hosts of emperors and Jesuses from Italy.

Who wins?

This is just on Earth, right?

RIGHT?

So basically I gotta be an ISIS murderhobo?

Marble is stronger than mud, so there's really no match.

>trying to destroy the /k/ube
>implying the conduit through which all funs and violence flows can be destroyed
I'd shoot you for heresy, but it'd be more funny to watch you try and destroy something made stronger through violence. Assuming of course you get past all of the /k/ubists. Them boys ain't right in the head, so for your sake I hope for a quick death.

>are you saying that the nature of man is a cube of weapons
Are you saying it's not?

is he made out of all the butter the norks aren't eating

I'd comission a life sized statue of my dream woman; than I would go onto to become active member of Statue Rights movement.

/k/ube would ascend beyond mortal realm, and Earth would be left in care of its lesser aspects

>The more life-like the statue, the more powerful and intelligent it will be.
>tfw Italian
David/Moses 2018 #GuessWhosBack #SculptingTheFuture #Reinassance

Lets say that someone wanted to welcome their statue overlords or fight fire with fire. What is the best material to make a statue out of that's durable, but not too heavy so the statue can support itself?

Ow

Steel maybe?

Possibly

This guy on the other hand

>dispersing advice on enlightment
The advice is to go punch thy enemy in the face, kozojeb!

I make several VHS tapes making sure people Don't Blink

Then a few years later I take all the wind out of them in a 2 parter

>You fall for your statue waifu
>She ends up leaving you for Statue Chad

>Numerous statues of Mars, Ares, and Herakles rampaging through Europe
Feels good being American where we have several giant presidents instead of rampaging war gods.

>American presidents
>aren't war gods

I think it would be a ball of naked women and swords.

>giant bronze Mithraian bull of greed rampaging down Wall St
This makes me wet

>the "little brave girl" gets actually smashed by the bull
kek

>implying they won't team up and fight crime

Fuck you, I laughed.

>they just shit talk anyone who comes near them

...

>that one story arc in Gantz with the alien statues
Well fuck

I mean the bull is mid motion and the girl is standing tall. Even if the bull wanted to stop it would run over the girl before it had time to realize she was there.

This might not actually be so bad. Not sure if this is in every city, but a lot around here have brass or bronze statues of famous writers, politicians, scientists, local heroes, stuff like that.

Imagine how useful it could be to have some of the greatest or most creative minds of various parts of history, in near-immortal metal bodies.

Good thing I'm a ceramics major.

>It's a "country" where the largest political party is a separatist party, there are two "cultures" that are rip-offs of two better cultures from neighboring countries and their biggest cultural achievement is a statue of a pissing infant
Belgium really is a non-country. Part of me believes keeping up the EU façade of diversity actually working is the only reason Belgium hasn't fallen apart. That and delusional Flemish believing Brussels is Flemish.

Oh, so you are copying the Gantz, Italy Arc?

Vey original, OP.

Is it fair to call it an "arc" when it only lasted like 3 chapters and the protagonists had to run away?

I'll take French speaking Belgian over French French any day of the year. If only because the prior is more likely to have bathed recently.

Warm up the van boys, we're fixin' to finesse the world's finest Hermaphroditus statues

>Japanese figma invasion
>The giant Turkish robot gundam comes to life
>The Hermaphrodite statue comes to life for greek futa fun
>Churchil comes to life
>That trump statue comes to life
>All the evil statues left to rot come to life
>Evil idols come to life
>Vlad's Bust in Wallachia comes to life

Fug.

>>All the evil statues left to rot come to life
There will be like... couple dozens Stalins. Countless Maos. Etc.

I meant more like the one's fat curse people, cause disease, and do really nasty things

Except the fucking Warhammer 40k statues and models, we're in for a wild time there, shit will be like harry potter chess.

The biggest question which could throw a curveball on this whole scenario is:
Do anime figurines count as statues?

>50 foot Buddha converting isis rebels as he wakes to life just as they are about to destroy him

This is the saddest thing I've heard today

North Korea is going to have a hell of a power struggle.

...

>life sized

>not multiple fun sized

user, the weight

Let's not forget about the newest addition to the statue.
And yes, that was a real addition, intentionally made ugly as possible.

the only good french are Louisiana French-Cajuns. All others are trash.

I keep thinking the urn is a hollowed out leg stump

...

BRB, comissioning as many futa statues as possible.

Looking at how ugly it is, I'm not surprised they're building it in the middle of nowhere.

Invest heavily in the penis enlargement industry and become rich in a year.

t. Butthurt belgian

The dog was destroyed

Nah, I just worked for both French and Belgians.

Oh good. Insane monstrositys screaming in fear and rage.

PUSHKIN TRIED TO WARN US

WE WOULDN'T LISTEN

I think that Ave Imperator would have a very real chance of inspiring the next global empire. Just imagine the 100's of millions of people who would go under the banner of Caesers Rome if the statue had his soul in it and he walked again.

>Stalin Statue

Finally, I get to live my dream of fucking Lady Liberty's tongue before being swallowed whole by her. Thank you, monkey's paw.

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