God dammit people, show some manners when you are at the table
here is a list of annoyances a new player to the group has accumulated during the times he is with us
>Show up an hour late (consistently)
>doesn't sign up on the website (it's adventure league)
>burps at the table often and doesn't say "excuse me"
>one time threw the archer into melee against his will
>doesn't commit to the roleplay at all
need to get that off my chest
What annoyances do you people deal with
People need to learn how to shower.
People need to learn how to wear clothing such that their ass-crack doesn't show.
People don't show up.
People need to learn to not do goatse imitations at the table.
Another guy also really needs cut his fingernails like there are almost 3 inches long
is there a story to this
Not a great one. We had someone thinking it was funny to do the "halfling rogue with an epic level hide check can hide up the asshole of another party member". The DM said that it was stupid and wasn't allowing it, when the player who voiced the idea said that it would be easy to fit something small like a hobbit, and then moved to spread his own ass as wide as it could go as "proof".
Not only was that incredibly stupid to begin with it was unoriginal (pic related)
People need to know not to try to imitate greentext stories the read on Veeky Forums in their games
Texting. Its so rude to be on your phone all the damn time.
Collect phones before the game in a felt lined basket covered in glitter with a finger-paint person on the side of it (For personality....and mostly shame). I had to get 6 schedules to line up for 5 hours of the week, PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE IN THE BEAUTIFUL BASKET, TOM.
Also keys, but that's cause we like our booze. You may have them back when you can recite *THAT* part of Hardware Store from a sheet without more than 2 errors.....at your own speed, of course, I'm not a monster.
>getting too drunk or high to function
>being on your phone
>having loud off topic conversations with other players
Game would be so much better if they could stop doing all these things.
>multiple people playing mobile gachas at the table
>one has a laptop out browsing Facebook
>players initiating combat with each other over petty shit like 'borrowing' potions so they don't fucking die
>only one is smart enough to get out of trouble and roleplay properly
>none of them have a taste for alcohol so I'm the only one loose enough to have fun in storytelling
More than once I have packed up my books early due to misconduct but they have the audacity to say I'm tripping.
REEEEing. It's kinda annoying when you do it irl
Is someone getting the best of you?
The fact these need to be mentioned and aren't just common sense is pretty depressing. And before you go "Well TTRPGs attract autists" Nigga people with Autism know this shit. This is basic stuff.
>The player who never brings or gives thanks to those who bring food for the group yet eats enough for two anyways
>The player who has to be repeatedly told to chew with his mouth closed
Spoiler: they're the same person.
cheap ass mother fuckers can't be bothered to buy dice or a PHB, that's fine though I can fuck them over with my shitty dice and I can run the game however i want
>Nigga people with Autism know this shit. This is basic stuff.
Autist here. Can confirm.
Most of these annoyances apply away from the table.
>Buy some fucking dice
Not having PHB is a-okay in the shithole I'm in. But new players not buying dice before session #2 - that's haram, that's blasphemy. I don't give a shit you don't have time - you literally can't drive to my place without driving by our FLGS (fuck their MtG tournaments though, can't run a public game in a suitable nerdy place because of these cardboard munchers).
>Turn up for my fucking games
If you miss 3 sessions in a row (we play weekly on weekends, ffs) - I can do whatever I want with your PC. He is my NPC now, fuck off until the next campaign. I don't give a shit about your rotating work schedule. Go play some play-by-post rpgs over in the web.
>Put down your fucking phone
Yeah, I know you're flipping through your spellbook in that fucking app. I don't give a shit if you miss something - especially your fucking turn.
>Warn DM if you're running fucking late
Send me a text. Give me a call. I don't give a shit how - you tell me and I adapt, you don't - and I adapt in a way you won't like.
>Be friendly to other fucking players
Come on, we are all adults here. I don't give a shit you've not had social interactions in a week - I will not tolerate outright weirdos. And don't fuckin' dare talk shit to women at the table - my wife, my buddy's GF and his older sister are all my regulars and will fuck you up in combat, roleplay or in a real life brawl.
Hope I will not have to explain rules of hygiene to anyone anytime soon. Except one thing - it's customary to take off your shoes when you come into someone's house around here. So put on some clean fucking socks.
that sounds pretty bad.
I fucking hate adventure league though since all campaigns at the 2 game stores in my area collapsed after adventure league came to town so I have less sympathy for you.
>#1
I spent about $50 on a few hundred low quality dice and I'll give anyone who wants them a set. It's just easier that way.
I bought two Chessex Pound-O-Dice bags too back in the day, so I gift new players d20s, but remind them that they need complete sets for the next game, preferably of the color nobody uses around the table. Not all of them remember though. Hence the #1.
>Shows up an hour late (consistently)
If you have someone who does that, lie to that person about the time being an hour early and let the rest come on time. He'll be on time as well.
Can't help you with the rest.
Not that I disagree with you, but you sound like a spastic internet tough guy autismo faggot
Yeah.
I don't doubt the wife, buddy, buddy's GF and her sis are his only regulars because nobody else will put up with him.
I mean what sort of fucking faggot has a rule to not talk shit to women at the table, how about just a rule to not be an actual sincere cunt
in my group we all talk shit to eachother, he sounds fucking white knight faggot tier
And that's on top of the autism that his post radiates
Jesus Christ you're a cringelord, goddamn
I'll stop using my phone when you stop paralyzing, mind controlling, leaving unconscious, killing and don't let me play with a new char but force me to stay, etc for hours
>If you insult m'ladies honor I will be forced to use 10% of my power to stop you.
>roleplay or real life brawl
Cringe.
>>Be friendly to other fucking players
Sure, you sound like friendly guy yourself.
I am lucky to not have such problems, possibly due to being most autistic in both my groups. Yay, i guess.
>only 10%
A real man goes all out.
You sound like a real inflamed asshole. The kind that gets butthurt and upset instead of trying to calmly solve a conflict.
I wouldn't play in your game if you paid me.
No, I'll keep my phone and keys on me, thanks. I can't even imagine how weird some of you social freaks are in real life.
>feels the need to counter female autism with meme-tier autism of his own.
Nigga i don't give a fuck what vaginas you know. Trust your goddamed little rules. Backing anything like this up with threats makes you look like a colossal faggot
>And don't fuckin' dare talk shit to women at the table - my wife, my buddy's GF and his older sister are all my regulars and will fuck you up in combat, roleplay or in a real life brawl
kek
>show up an hour late.
Boot em. This shows they don't respect you or the other players time. I can forgive a lot, but a lack of punctuality tells me you don't actually want to play
>Show up an hour late (consistently)
They do this on purpose to see if you'll wait on them. Kick them out.
The bigger issue is faggots like you not having the balls to kick someone out of the group when they act this way.
>Not bringing food to the DM's place every week as thanks for DMing/using the area
What fucking degenerates.
We have a guy who makes banging meals for sessions but watching my players licking their fingers and eating messy food while rolling dice makes my skin crawl.
Sometimes I am happy that I grew up with sports instead games so my social group is developed enough so that shit like
>showering
Is taken for granted.
Is it a thing for people who hang around FLGS activites to be dirty as shit?
Three stores around my town have signs posted that players and customers must be clean at the least. I've seen the Yugioh players that meet every Thursdays and they look like walking roach motels.
Kick him from the group? Or are you THAT desperate for a player?
Yet I know autists who don't. So it really comes down to the individual not knowing, or the more likely possibility, not caring.
>show up an hour late (consistently)
I do this.
And I'm the GM
And risk causing countless civilian causualties in the process? A real man knows with great power comes great responsibility
People sticking their noses when a player is alone and completing a challenge or puzzle.
PC is alone with silly mirror puzzle, mirror is a true mirror but he can't figure out why the imp behind his shoulder is not where he is supposed to be.
That guy chimes in and starts berating the PC for taking a minute to figure it out.
DM: the imp is communicating with telepathy, he seems angry and full if hatred a true visage of pure evil, must save against terror, he doesn't sense any magic or spell.
Who is this, how do you speak to your friends with no magic, this is not sorcery, this is not of this world, imp vanishes in fiery portal. Days later in game the imp is again among us and it's master has come to collect specimens that work this mystery magic that requires no efforts or spells PCs get abducted and pretty much TPK. It was a good campaign before that...
>sports
Let me guess...traditional Greco-roman wrestling?
How.many dicks do you have up your ads right now?
Stop flaunting your homosexuality, you queer.
Wut?
#
>sports
Let me guess...traditional Greco-roman wrestling?
How many dicks do you have up your ass right now?
Stop flaunting your homosexuality, you queer.
What the fuck are you trying to say?
If you're the DM I don't think you have any right to complain about players.
Eat before we start and bring your/food/snacks/beer.
Quit it with your smoke breaks Tyler and Roger
Eat before, or bring my food? I am confused.
Actually i feel something like smoke breaks could be awesome thing to have. Little "commercial break" so that we could get some fresh air, stretch and return invigorated. Too bad noone in my groups smokes.
Try again friend. :^)
Smoke breaks are great, even if all you're really doing is taking 10 to stretch and piss. The only one who ever complained was the dude who would take a piss at the worst times and wasn't paying attention anyway. We booted him because it turned out he had zero personality and actually discussing something instead of being wallpaper caused him physical pain.
I swear if I have to turn down another fucking Old Man Henderson submission I'm going to throw someone out of a window.
This is fine. You're just giving the players extra time to get their shit together.
>being this much of a pig-bottom faggot.
How deadly is your strain, queer?
I don't allow smokers in my game. Your hourly smoke breaks water everyone's everyone time.
Also, you smell, and your teeth are vile.
I don't even smoke, but taking 10 is good for you. Enjoy your aneurysm from sitting on your ass.
>people who nap
>people who interrupt the session with side-conversation
>people who refuse to take notes
>people who get hungover the night before and don't show up
Now that's just unreasonable
every hour does sound like a bit much
and the teeth thing isnt an issue if they actually brush
Pay attention to what's going on in the game fuck wad, we're not here to fellate your character every minute of every session.
Why should anyone pay attention if they don't actually get to play?
This guy at my table rolls dice by putting them in his mouth and spitting them across the board. He will also pee in a bottle instead of getting up. He'll look you right in the eye as he does it and say
>Saves time, doesn't it?
Cooperative effort? Ever heard of it? If you fuck up and your guy gets incapacitated then that's on you. Pay attention so you know what everyone else is talking about once you're back in the game.
I came here to play a game, not watch other people play a game.
Not him and not a white knight but there is nothing wrong with telling male players not to act like creeps towards the female players. Bantz is fine but if players start acting pervy towards a female player and she is clearly uncomfortable with it they get one warning to knock it off and I tell them to leave my table if they do it again. Granted, at the moment I DM for pickup games with randoms at the local Veeky Forums store and many are new players so I don't want anyone who is new to D&D to have it ruined by some autist using telepathy to say lewd things to her PC so it might be a bit more relaxed if you are DMing for a group of friends. Still, it's not that hard to restrain from forcing your unwanted fantasies on somebody else who just wants to play the game and have a fun time.
>being this mad that someone had normal childhood and friends who don't get stared at in public
You came to participate in a game. Most, but not all, of that is playing your character. Fucking leave if you're only here to wank yourself off with no regard for anyone else at the table.
No, you came to jerk off. In a game you can fuck up and have consequences. You just want to slap your imaginary dick on the table.
>You came to participate in a game
I'm not when you remove me from the game 75% of the time
If you have a shit DM then take it up with him directly instead of being a pouty little bitch.
You ARE a shit GM.
>Cooperative effort
What has that anything to do with shutting down a player from the game?
Do you think cooperation means a player has to stop playing? you think that if he's playing there isn't cooperation? In what insane world do you live?
>If you fuck up
Implying. You can still be mindcontrolled, killed, render unconscious and a long etc even if you didn't fuck up
>Pay attention so you know what everyone else is talking about once you're back in the game.
Woah, That GM and a metagamer on top of that
>But time I spend brushing my teeth is less time I have to engage in my addiction
To be fair, taking a break every hour or so DOES improve people's ability to pay attention. There's a reason why schools do it.
Sure, whatever. Fucking grow a pair and confront your actual problems instead of whining like a little fuck stick to strangers on the internet.
I'm not a vindictive DM and I don't shut players down for shits and giggles. I don't whimper like a little bitch when players know more than their characters either because I trust them to roleplay properly. If you have a shit DM then take it up with him instead of defending behavior that is objectively shitty for people who don't have your shit DM.
We're not implying it's OK to be rude to girls.
On the contrary - our point it it is NOT OK to be rude to people _in general_.
Emphasizing girls make him sound bit white knight-y.
Are you insulting someone because they do sports? Seriously? Why?
...
OK, but it is a gendered issue. I've never seen male players receive unwanted sexually-charged remarks from other players.
And the "I'll fight you irl bro" part is pretty goddamn cringy.
The DM for a 5e game I'm in yells at me when I try to roleplay, and is a massive min-maxer in a game he joined with me that a mutual friend is running.
You're changing the subject. Original poster said "talking shit", not "making passes".
Thanks user, that's why I do it to be honest. I used to always show up on time, but after many cases of
>waiting outside for the host player to come back home because he went to the market or something
>chatting with another host's grandparents because he's still in the bath
>waiting for other players to show up
>waiting for players to calm down because they hadn't seen each other in a while and had a lot of stuff to chat about
I just started going late to circumvent those problems. It works.
This one player argues with me about the dumbest of things. "Why is the God of life good? Isn't life a trap? You never asked to be born, and where you are you are trapped into this horrible world until the day you die."
Similar note, I one had a player argue for, I shit you not, 2 hours with the GM that he should be allowed to teleport with Astral Projection. "Because if I send my mind there I can send the rest of me there"
That sucks. We have one player like this and it's bit... weird to try to RP, when you know this guy is bothered by it and considers it waste of time. But without RP, i feel like i could play video games instead.
>degenerate faggot that assumes no one notices his herpes scars in public
>I will not tolerate outright weirdos. And don't fuckin' dare talk shit to women at the table - my wife, my buddy's GF and his older sister are all my regulars and will fuck you up in combat, roleplay or in a real life brawl.
>someone who plays children's schoolyard games expects me to respect them.
>ttgames
>not also a schoolyard game
This can't be real you faggot liar
Schoolyards don't have tables.
Checkmate atheists!
>And don't fuckin' dare talk shit to women at the table - my wife, my buddy's GF and his older sister are all my regulars and will fuck you up in combat, roleplay or in a real life brawl.
No, because I just got done fucking them in their whore mouths and assholes and if they say one goddamn thing I'll do the same to their mothers.