Alright lads, listen up!

Alright lads, listen up!

I wanted to congratulate you all on a job well done with our last mission, involving the destruction of that Space Hulk, over Doreplis III, the other day! Even Command was left utterly speechless when they'd heard we had successed; not too mention with so few casualties! It's almost as if they hadn't expected us to survive it...

As such, I made a request to have the regiment resupplied at our new location with various luxary items. Chocolate, toilet paper, and even socks! But most importantly, I ordered in for a large shipment of Recaff for everyone!

Unfortunately... It seems that the Munitorum shipped us the wrong supplies... As such, instead of the one-hundred thousand packages of Tyrilia brand Recaff we were supposed to receive. We instead seemed to have been given shipped exactly one-hundred thousand lasgun grade power cells...

As such, before we head off into combat, I am calling for a surprise Field Kit Inspection, to determine just how much Recaff we have left! So present arms, and equipment, for a Field Kit Inspection!

How wonderful commander, mind lending me some? This new body appears to have a faulty charging system.

Why or course, most honourable Dreadnought! Anything for a fine, Astarte's hero like yourself!

I need to disable those stupid speakers... doesn't he know its 0400 scale time...
>slowly gets up and stretches her arms up in the air
>she turns and knocks a lamp off the desk
Whoopsie. Can't leave those out.
>she closes her eyes and picks up the lamp before getting dressed in full kit and heading out to to the staging area

greetings commissar, how goes your fight?

This fight shall go well, as it always does for the Imperium, for the Emperor shall stand with us!

... I can't say I recognize you, trooper... Whom exactly are you?
It's nice of you too finally join us Sergeant! Although I can't say I'm surprised that you're LATE again!

First Lieutenant Wyvern, of fourth company, reporting for duty, Commissar!

Unfortunately, I requested my Recaff rations be switched out for other, more useful things, such as Chocolate, and food! I've never been a big Recaff drinker, Sir!

Sir I have our orders!
we are to go the planet rok VI
where a large force of iron warriors and Imperial Fists are having a siege contest
We are to help the fists build things and knock down the iron warrior's things.
Also can you tell the Catachans who are on the ship that they can't steal my spare robes in order to cut them up into bandannas?

it is good you don't recognise me, my name is Gareth, inquisitor of the holy inquisition. ordo malleus
>I reveal my pendant
I am here on charges you "succeed" to destroy a space hulk, I will now cheak you all for heresy

Well by succseed we got in a fighgt with some 'nids and accidentally hit the self destructe in the cross fire.
Also I finally got my name tag to work right!

lets start with you commissar.
name, rank, length of posting, and suspected heretics. also how many executions have you done?

do not interrupt my interrogation, you are next,

I have a strange feeling that the catachans may stop doing that if you fixed my charging cable.

I can do that
who are you
why would that help?

It's 0430 and we're slated for arrival at 1200... sir... Plus I've been getting you a new set of armor as a replacement...
>pulls gasmask down over her face

Ahhh yes, the Emperor's ever watchful Inquisition! I've been expecting a visit from one of you for a while now. Feel free to inspect me, and my most loyal regiment! You shall find no trace of heresy, nor even the slightest taint of Chaos upon this regiment. Of this I can guarantee you!

REPOA'IN FE' DUTEH SAH

Rolled 54 (1d100)

answer the questions commissar, I have your men to inspect

>the inquisitor raises his eyebrow and points at the odd trooper
who is he?

>twirls a pair of volkite pistols before holstering both
reporting for duty sir
just had to pick up a gift from a mechanicus friend down a few levels

Knochenmus, Arthur. Commissar, two months. Suspected heretics; None! Executions, two this morning for failure of duty, eight this past week!

I'm a random ship AI cogboy thought fit to mash into what he calls a servitor. I've been leaking green fluid since

those iron warriors might have a few cool trinkets worth borrowing

i might need to loan some armor piercing weapons for the day

Yes, yes , Private Grod! Make sure your equipment is ready for inspection, by both em, and the Inquisitior!
Private Grod, Mi'lord! He is from one of those "High Gravity, mushroom worlds".

acceptable,
next is that annoying magos

and commissar, this trooper either had nurgals rot and survives or is an ork. best to make an examination
who are you? name rank, lenth of posting and your relations to the unit

You also shot our sanctioned psyker! he got better though.
I am that cogboy, I just got my name working finally now shhh the inquisition is here

Ah yes, very good Quartermaster! Now prepare for Inspection by both myself, and the Good Inquisitor as well!

We shall prove to him, that none of our number are vile heretics, or warpspawn in disguise!

OI YA GIT, AH YA ZOGGIN STUPID OR SOMFIN'? I'Z GOT A NAMETAG ROIGHT HE'A

Sanctioned Psyker Reporting for Duty Sir!

Yes of course.
>she whispers in his ear
How did he get on during warp transit?

Rolled 49 (1d100)

do not insult me you vile xeno, you are only alive by my good graces

hmph
>the inquisitor glares at the being

Hmmm... I swore I executed someone who looks EXACTLY like you... Do you happen to have a brother?
I shot him "for his own good"!

>He'd motion for her to be quiet, and await her chance at inspection.

That would have been my brother Mih'ari
the pronunciations different

commissar that thingis either a mutant or a demon of tzeech, kill it

you tech priest, name, rank, length of post, notable achievements, original forge world, notable experiments and any suspected heretics

reporting for duty inquisitor
dak ironwall, private second class
i have cordial relations with my unit

dont worry about me sir, i just shoot things and occasionally take trophies
are you sure he is a xenos, sir? his nametag says he is human

I urge you to comply to imperial standards and equip your helmet.

I am an inquisitor who is trained and experienced with traitors, do you wish to advise me?
>the inquisitor stares at the guardsmen
do you?

Ah yes! I hear it now! It's surprising though, that not only did you and your brother BOTH become psykers; but you also both look EXACTLY the same, and that both your names are spelled almost the EXACT same way...

Hmmm..... Well, it's probably nothing to worry about!

Im a magos, named gelt
I've been here a couple months
I managed to make a multimelta that was the size of a normal melta
Im from the Cyclotrathe forge world hers its logo
and im pretty sure the sanctioned psyker is a daemon of some sort and Im suspicious of the gunnery Sargent but I can't really put my finger on why

no sir, i was just pointing out his nametag
maybe they're cousins sir, but if rougeness runs in the family, then i better fetch the big gun

commissar, don't be foolish and check. I want records of his transfer and I want him put in a holy promethean bath. if he comes out unscathed kill it, if he survives let him get some healing.

speak up tech preist

>Lurks behind a box of recaff (that is actually lasgun battery packs) with a worried grimace on his face

not really we were identical twins
and mother wasn't creative enough to come up with two names

Rolled 88 + 20 (1d100 + 20)

>The junior officer would stand fully at attention. His equipment in pristine condition, and displayed in a rather eye pleasing way.
>His posture would be perfect, and his hair would be at the perfect length, according to regulations.

Rolled 5 (1d100)

tech priest I want to speak with you in a moment..privately.

>closing my eyes for a moment, I shake my head slightly

if he was the evil twin, then you must be the good twin
welcome aboard
i already got my big gun, but itll come in handy, someone fetch me a tripod, its really hard to hold

you name, rank, lenth of post, relations to the unit
[as in friends, hate them all, more than friends *cough* gunnery sargent *cough*]

Uhhh Ok?

>stands waiting for inspection, krieger, skull gas mask is blank and expressionless
>shittily painted plasma gun held in her hand.

Rolled 83 (1d100)

name rank, lenth of post, relation to the unit, and your wepon

speak up, come on now you two speak

Wyvern, Matthias! First Lieutenant, three months Mi'lord! I-....
>He'd remain quiet for a moment, when it came to the last part of his orders, unsure as to how he should answer the other man.

Relations Mi'lord? I'm not quite sure I follow...

do you detest your co workers? are you friends with your co workers? now answer

>He'd blink several times, still unsure on how to answer the Inquisitor's question.

Co-workers, Mi'lord? Do you mean my platoon?

>He'd remain silent a moment longer, before finally answering.

I can't say I have any "friends" in my platoon, Mi'lord. Platoon leaders typically aren't allowed that sort of luxary. It makes issuing orders rather difficult.

you as well kreigsman, answer

and commissar thell that hiding wretch to get out here before I shake his hand

that will do, at ease then

now onto the krieger

Ah,yes. Commissar. I believe your regiment is being deployed, as part of a battlegroup to alterevis VII.

You heard the Inquisitor, Astropath! Hop to it, before I shoot your knees out!

Rias Greymane. Gunnery Sergeant and Quartermaster. Relations? I occasionally eat with Gamma squad but usually stay in the various armories keeping everything organized. I have a Plasma gun that was modified by the sanctioned techpriest on this ship and armed with a Plasma pistol, two bolt pistols and a Powerfist that was rescued and gifted to me in combat. Any other questions, Sir?
>tilts her head and gasmask, the lenses blacked out by it's previous owner
I'm no Krieger. I'm a Cadian, Sir. I was just assigned this mask after my previous one was broken.

> very glad I brought the red robes and not the blacks ones today

only two, any suspected heretics? and any members of this unit not present?

Oh commisar, I need your help with something, wont you step into this alleyway with me.

I need to stand behind my Commissar and It'll be undermining his authority if I answer any different. No suspected heretics
>holds up five fingers
As for missing there's a few that aren't and most likely busy doing the Emperors work in motor pool

MAH NAME IS GROD. I'Z IS ONE OF DEM PRI VATS AND I'Z 'ERE TO REPLACE ONE OF DA BOYZ WHO GOT LOOTED BY ONE OF DEM SKELETON FINGS

Theres about eight catachans around here somewhere
theres a flesh tearer whose been helping out
there was a squat for a while but I dont know where he went
and there was this one trooper who should have been a blood raven because he keeps finding archeotech and various relics

sorry Eighty catachans
Oh and there was a swarmlord pretending to be a trooper but we killed him in the spacehulk

your gothic is lacking private
hmph we will speak later
>sneering in contempt, the inquisitor seems to focus upon the being then takes a step forward a aura of fear and depression radiates from him, before vanishing
noted
especially noted. now come with me tech preist
>makes his way towards his private quarters

Alleyway!? What in the Emperor's fiery sword, are you talking about? We're onboard a ship in orbit! Have you gone mad, trooper!?

Also, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR CLOTHES, AND FLAK ARMOUR!?! THIS A GUARD REGIMENT, NOT THE STRIP CLUB IN THE LOWER HIVES!

My lord, I know how to fashion these power cells into a makeshift grenade. I can show you how, if you'd like.

If that's what you wish, Sir. Am I dismissed?

>With the Inquisitor headed off with the Magos. Matthias would take a moment, and gently elbow Rias, before using his head to silently motion towards the possible Drukhari woman.

Yes sir!

Drukhari
Drukhari

dismissed

>entering my quarters, I order my adepts out and sit down on a high backed chair.

take a seat "magos"

...

very well

>he pokes his head out from a maintenance shaft
Is... is the inquisitor gone?

Only if such a thing, has been blessed by the nearest tech-priests! Otherwise, we'll have angered not only them, but every machine spirit in the other powercells! And we wouldn't want that happening, now would we Private?

>She ignores him and pushes him back

>waves her over and gestures to a side hall

>The officer would relax his posture somewhat at this point. But would keep an eye open for any reason to straighten it up.

If you count him in the Commissar's office as "gone". Then he is indeed, gone.

Can confirm, I am angry.

kek

you said you were from cyclothrathe correct?
that's very intresting, considering that it was a chaos stronghold and if you were posted or inducted there, the most likely a hereteck, am I correct? and please don't do anything rash, not yet anyway. I would hate to terminate you before we had proper discourse

>He'd give Rias a rather confused look. Wondering why she'd given him the cold shoulder, when he'd only wanted to silently inquire on if she had passed the Commissar's approval.
>"What crawled up her butt and died?"

Cyclothrathe was a former manufactory world known to the Imperium only by the most ancient texts, its name purged long ago by umbra-net data-phages by order of the highest possible authority.
You don't know that its a traitor world

>There was a sliver of paper wedged in between his armor and uniform

>the guerilla has an incredulous look on his face
>his reply drips with sarcasm
Of course sir, I'd be loathe to anger the machine spirits when destroying the enemies of man.

[there are a few other things I could point out but DAMMIT, and besides I had a cool idea going. oh well and I'm an inquisitor. I am the highest authority ]
why my pykers consistently deterct demons in weaponry? most specifically that "flesh tearer" knocked out in the med bay?

>He'd take a look around, before opening it up, and reading it.

>Abaddon was here

Eh, that'll do.
>he shuffles out of the shaft and lands with a thump

>"The Commissar, from what I've heard."

probably because there are daemons in the weapons?

>Sarcasm filters unresponsive. Using next best algorithm.

Exactly, Private Chen! Should we ever do such a heretical thing, none of our equipment would function the next time we were on the battlefield! And I shouldn't have to tell you just how bad that would be!

Now go make sure, that such a modification is sanctioned, and we'll see about using them!

I have to go in a minute on an adventure to fix my phone so If im not responding its because I can't

and why are there demons in the wepons you SHOULD be tending?

>"This won't be going well. Big eye wants to speak to me. He may start a purge."

Shit, he's back!
>he dives back into the shaft

Im not gonna try to steal a weapon from a world eater. Besides Inquistor Quixos always said to take any advantage you could get

>the guerilla hefts his longstubber, a primitive weapon with nothing comparable to computer systems
Aye, sir.

that quoted greentext was supposed to be a private thought, but I'll play along
>He'd whisper back.

Now there is no evidence to support that, and we both know it, Corporal...
>"Especially when she keeps breaking into my room, and using my shower..."

hmph, tell me tech preist. did you put the demons there?