If you had unlimited gold, xp, access to materials...

If you had unlimited gold, xp, access to materials, etc to have a level 20 artificer make the perfect weapon for you in D&D 3.5 what would it be?

An enchanted Titan-golem with cannon-fingers.
What's more perfect then the human form? Guns, big guns.

A gigantic construct with ridiculous weapons and spell conteiners with even more ridiculous spells stored into said containers, as well as eternal wands and the like to create an Uber-Beholder kind of creature. Also make it immune to everything because it's somehow possible with the right spell combo. If it also gets to use equipent, things get even sillier way faster.

You should've specified what you categorize as weapons.

So a mech....

but why 3.5?
5 is so much better.

Gatling Gun of Wonder.

CHICKS
DIG
BIG
ROBOTS

>Blacksmith forging a sword that's already been mounted on a hilt

This bugs the shit out of me.

You have to find first gear in your giant robot car

>artificer
>5e
Artificer don`t exist there, not in the fashion OP is using it for.

Actually point of fact, Artificers DON`T appear in 3.5 either. They only appear in Eberron.

>Also OP's pic is a distinctly pathfinder creature. We've hit the crossroads!!!!

Maybe he's enchanting it. He's got all sorts of rune bullshit coming out of his arms.

That looks like a cool spelljammer ship

An enchanted mithril 8 inch bad dragon dildo. It causes whoever is whacked with it to immediately orgasm so hard and powerful that they instantaneously combust.

It works on everything, from dragons to demons to unicorns to illithids etc. etc. etc.

>Knows spelljammer.
Oh user, I guess you missed the whole tail end of 3.5 then? I'm not such a big fan of Eberron myself but it was wildly popular.

>Spelljammer
Also weirdly quarantined off. It's crystal sphere is a weird orange color with no way in or out. Period. Only way was through the World Serpent Inn, (or since 4e through some really shitty part of the feywilds.) No jammer traffic at all- which does suck cause it's like the One world where that would have perfectly meshed.

This is bad because it just loosens it from the hilt

all the swords knives armor and shield i already have but better. i like to match and not look like a wow clown

plus i dont like gimmicky shit

>perfect weapon

Well I'm using the term lightly and creating my "Weapon" out of several components.

A Tower shield, Maybe several? Cause you can slap dancing on that and have two or more. Portable hole on the outward side of it. My enchanted elemental ballista(s) on the inside. Stack on all the normal +5 enchants to the ballista(s), and since unlimited supplies? Well it's got a custom pay load of +5 projectiles that have an arrangement of different enchants for several situations. - A list too numerous for here.

Ballista are readied and loaded by my bound greater para-elemental Ash servants, constantly spewing ash onto the battle field which they can see through and fire no problem. Back up permanent unseen servant, and that one siege-crew spell. Maybe void or negative energy elementals too? One of the void variants can just eat incoming spells, projectiles or people.
(Cheap method of using Arcane Ballistas? Ha! Maybe as a backup, but We have unlimited funds here!)

Max ranks in Siege Expert, Ballista Proficiency feat, and Commander. Allows my bounded minion to use my skills/attack for firing the Ballistas. Or if needed use their own attack they are the CR 24 version after all.
Normal Ranged feats such as rapid shot apply as normal if I can reload the weapons fast enough- which we can, and if I can be considered firing them- which when commanding: I am.

I am of-course a Kobold crusading for my master Kurtulmak (Sometimes known as punpun), thus my portable holes are actually Enveloping Pits, which are artifact level and don't really have to worry about that whole dispel or anti magic thing, and little to fear from disconjunction. Install some rings of gate on the inside?

Ride on the shields silver surfer style. And that's 10 min typing this so I'm done thinking about it now.

>5 is so much better.

lol no

The perfect vessel for the monk.

do you enjoy having bad opinions?

If I have unlimited gold and XP, then I'm already a god.

Why a Deck of decks of things!

Guys, guys. Tastes differ. Don't fight, please.

The strongest fucking hammer in all of existence.
Such that a single swing could level a mountain, shatter the gates of hell, or break the sword of a God.

> unlimited gold
> hiring one artificer to make one weapon
> not just hiring an army of epic-level wizards

It's just shorthand for "someone is going to make you exactly the weapon you want. What is it?"

Probably a sword.

A flail. With a thought, I can straighten the chain so that it becomes a functional extension of the haft, which would effectively convert the weapon into a maul.

Imagine all the tricky shit you could do with that.

a stick. It'll be a really good stick.

The weapon I want is an army of epic level wizards.

A hammer of size a human could wield, but too heavy for anything to pick it up.
Not the biggest giant or the most powerful wizard
no "chosen one" will ever be born.

Yet i will ensure fantastic tales of its might extend so far that people travel worlds to try and lift it from the rock it rests upon

It will become the most legendary hammer that godbeings will desire to lift it, yet none ever can

The most legendary weapon will be the most useless object

A different game.

Pole Axe is a good choice, so many options.

Personally a fan of Gladius + Legion Shield.

I'm such a Rome-aboo I probably would make a whole set of Roman armor and weapons for myself. Fuck your rules OP

The weapon that gets me a qt gf.

Alternatively the weapon is a qt gf.

Well you know what they say, if you want an omelette...

Pic related but bigger and filled with golems.

To also include a grand wizzard golem that could teleport my weapon and do other wizard shit to it. Also make it like a TARDIS.

15 +1 collision Greatswords, a ring of telekinesis, and a wand of greater magic weapon CL 20.

Then another set of the same Greatswords with Brilliant Energy.

Then I'll also hire a billion sexy bitches to work it. Not really work it but look sexy pretending to work it. And a pimp throne with a pimp mug made out of sexy bitches! With a new bitch every minute to keep my throne clean of my own ass sweat.

There's a sword that grants wishes, right?

That.

as much as i love 5e, the crafting rules for it are very lackluster

A Hellfire, Vorpal, Vilefire Entropic weapon. Hit's them so hard I decapitate them, turn them evil, hurt their souls x2 and then some Tharizduun tier shit.

One Order of the Stick please.

Swordchucks.

Vorpal Swordchucks.