Think of a Space Marine chapter (chaos is okay)

...

So best kind of roommate

Thanks for finding my cat and being a wingman but did you have to remove all the fire alarms?

>VERILY, BROTHER, LET US SCALE YON MOUNTAINS AND DRINK MEAD
>WOLFEDY WOLF MCWOLF-WOLF

I already live somewhere that's basically Fenris and have a friend who brews mead - I think I'd be pretty fine with it.
I also like puppers as well, we could bond over that.

Do you like puppers the size of small cars?

If there's anything I've learned having a neighbor with an Irish Wolfhound, it's that the bigger the dog, the nicer they tend to be, while tiny shitters like chihuahuas tend to be hyper-aggressive little rats that believe themselves much bigger and badder.

TLDR Yes

Innawoods and love hunting so i think my Space Wolf bro will be chill

I thought of the same guys...

At least I'll be eating some good BBQ this summer.

>BROTHER HOP IN THE CAR
>WE ARE GOING DRAG RACING

I'd have to lock everything I have

We will likely spend long hours reorganizing the placement of every single object I own, room by room, for efficient access with occasional lectures on the proper procedures for use and cleaning. On the upside my personal finances will dramatically improve and the mandatory discipline will lead to less muckin about.

>You have desecrated this vessel's machine spirit with your vile collection of .jpgs, .gifs, .pngs, MP4s, avis, mpgs, and other formats too foul to mention. The penalty is death.

Oh god.....
>a Spacemarine that fucks up the simplest of things despite being as dedicated he can be in every task he does

>Brother, Do you want to play basketball then head to the forge with me. We can get glorious KFC along the way.

Dishes get done, but half the chapter dies every time you leave a fork in the sink.

Alpha Legion

Hm, will probably have to explicitly list out things we're okay and not okay with, as well as the exact distribution of chores and rent. Trust is the most valuable currency after all.

>Starts collecting every flammable item (Deodorant cans, chemicals, fire extinguishers)
>Puts them in a safebox
>Buries safebox 5 miles from the house.
>Comes back and looks at me with a serious face:"It is done."

Dude I know you like your music and all buy you can't melt the cops' faces with it when they come to tell you to turn it down

>Knights of Blood
>The BA Successor declared renegade for being too brutal
>Meaning they are somehow more brutal than the Flesh Tearers

Fuck.

>Thousand Sons

Well, I don't think I'll be getting good conversation, but at least I have a robot to do chores.

Well you could be (un)lucky and end up with a Sorceror as a roommate.

Which would be like rooming with Saruman.

Except dusting. Don't ask him to do that under any circumstances.

>Alpha Legion

So it's like that roommate that you never see because he's always out working when you're home, but he pays his bills so whatever?

Like that, except you don't ever see him because he wipes your memory of it, along with implanting posthypnotic triggers.

>So it's like that roommate that you never see because he's always out working when you're home
The twist is he's doing your job.

>pain

I actually had two come to mind simultaneously. One traitor, one loyalist.
>Brother Pyraeus, why are the cops outside the door with the fire department? And why are there TWO scorch marks on my lawn?!
>The white-clad locals who dislike my skin pigmentation attempted to burn two wooden beams on your lawn, and threatened my life. They have been dealt with.
>They were right about you deserving death, loyalist nig-
>Talon, knock it off. And where the hell are you going in that black trench-coat.
>A "Vampire" Role-play. I have found myself loving the Malkavian creature-type. It brings back fond memories of my primarch.

Top fucking kek

what about a white scar
he'll drive you anywhere as long as your willing to risk your live by join way to fast and ignoring all traffic laws

what chapter is this?

Good choice

All my electronics get upgrades but my dog gets replaced with a robot.

>BBQ every night
>Always up to hang out
>Has a bunch of cool friends
>Makes neat shit for me in the garage
>Does his share of the chores
>Has an awesome family and they love to visit and hang out
>Is great with my family when they visit
Now I want it for real dammit.

>Lamenter tries to do the dishes as is his duty
>They all break because of his big meaty hands
>You walk in on him weeping openly on the floor surrounded by broken ceramic and bent silverware

Could you imagine a White Scar getting pulled over by the cops for speeding? He'd probably take their heads.

Dark Angels

I can never enter their room, and they never tell me what they're doing.

>COME BROTHER
>WE ARE STREET RACING
>DON'T WORRY, I WON'T SCALP THE GUY IN LAST PLACE AGAIN
>NEW TOWN, NEW ME
>I PROMISE

I can't stop laughing at this mental image

>I'm fine It was just a spra...
>Brother, don't worry. all this weak flesh will be gone soon.

iron hand roommate would nice till I wake up with a toaster for a foot.

I'm not looking forward to "THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH!" at two in the morning.

>Mantis Warriors roommate
>Dude's always down on himself and sneaking around
>You don't know fear until a giant somehow sneaks up on you in the shower and asks if you hate him
God help you if he thinks you're trying to infringe on his independence though. He'll team up with like 7 other guys and take over a part of the house.

>hey bro, come play a game with me! don't mind my cat, he's had an eye infection and worms for a while but he's fine
>cheeto encrusted controller
>piss bottles everywhere

dude just go with it
snort the line
yeah it's the size of the table just do it
don't be a pussy

>World Eaters roomie

H-hey buddy, I'm moving out of the country. N-nothing to do w-with you of course! You can keep my stuff, I don't need it, okay?

THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!!!

Blood Ravens?

Iron Hands.

Might be Ultramarines, but not entirely sure.

>Not recognizing Salamanders

I doubt you'll be able to tell him anything with the amount of drugs floating with a Noise Marine.

The numerals confirms this advice.

Or you could end up with Ravenwing, who is basically a member of Hell's Angels that hunt former members of the gang.

The question is - what would it be living with Iron Warrior roommate?

I hope you like digging trenches!

Well, hope your house needs some improvements, then. First week would be general reconstruction, likely with some high tech included.

>Raptors
He's always around, I just never see him.

Even in the canine world, Manlets will never learn.

Lamenters. Oh god oh no oh god oh no

I kill him in a week.

>be me, neet girl
>Lamentator Housemate, bleeding heart softie.
>keeps bringing in feral cats.
>especially sick dying ones
>some cats survive
>surrounded by cats, cant have my friends over.
>everyone thinks I'm a lonely cat lady and isolates me.
>Lamentator SM still bringing in sick cats and now has turned my house into a homeless shelter.
>Now surrounded by cats and hobos.
>cant evict roomie cause hes too kind, cant yell at him.

God dammnit.

All of my relics (and the rest of my house) get stolen

I don't care how much of a racist you are, nobody would talk shit to a black guy if said black guy had red eyes, was seven feet tall and yoked to the fucking gills.

Well....

At least I'm going to be immune to pain and Grandpa Nurgle is my favorite Chaos God.

Can Nurglites be Warpsmiths?

And looks Caucasian except for the skin tone, which is pitch black.

I now have a roommate who keeps trying to get me to give him money to buy more gear because his got wrecked but I never see any other time. I'd probably do it too, on the off chance I can get some kickass space marine training in exchange.

Who could that be?

>Blood Raven

well either i don't ever own anything anymore, or i own everything now.

why would salamanders want to get rid of flammable stuff?

Because he's nice like that and don't want to everything explode when he uses fire?
At least that makes sense with fire extinguisher being included.

>Iron Warriors
We're both pretty autismo, and I love Hazard Stripes, so it'd be great

>emperor's children
I go deaf, and my asshole hurts. I might be indocrinated as a cultist since im a professional master

Witnessed, advice heeded.

Death Guard?

>Salamanders

Best BBQs and a chill dude. Win/Win for me

>Be at home, watching TV
>Roommate says he's borrowing my bike
>Tell him it's ok because I'm not listening
>Three seconds later I start calling my pants when I realize what he asked
>Go to the garage
>Goddamnit I forgot to hide his power glaive, now he'll get in trouble for decapitating teenagers who try to race him again.

>who? ... Oh yeah, duh of course
>we had a great time er- last year maybe?
>big ol' road trip, I'm in the sidecar as he probably broke a lot of traffic laws when out of the city
>saw some kind of music and art festival? But like a biker poetry slam with music and racing
>doesn't do much these days
>he's mostly out when I'm in, or just very quiet
>honestly I forget he's even there most of the time
>pretty cool guy I guess, especially the beard

You think he'd knew how to extinguish burning fat?
Just imagine the fuck ups that could happen when he tries to cook you dinner.

Dudes, the MAYOR of the only large town/small city in my county got in trouble during Obama's first run for office by actually saying - next to a running tape recorder - that "change" stood for "Come Help a Nigger Get Elected."
You go out into the boonies, where I live, and you get entire villages where everyone has the same last name, and the family trees have like four branches tops.
The bar down the hill from me had lawn tractor races, which drew crowds of single-toothed genetic dead-ends who waved Rebel flags from the backs of their jacked up pickups (complete with truck nutz).
Those fuckers would not hesitate to mouth off to a Salamander, because they're too retarded to understand that the green armor is not because he likes watermelons that much, nor is it because he likes menthol KOOLs.
Though it'd be funny to see them try to drag him behind one of their trucks. Try being the operative word.

Perfect

Raven Guard.

>Blood Ravens

Great, my roommate constantly asks for favors and steals my shit.

You mean you gift it to him.

Pros
>Super Nice
>Cooks spicy as fuck food when asked
>Willing to put himself in games way for you at all times
>Will stick up for you and back you up in a fight/argument
>Pretty smart and will teach you some absolutely insane chess strategies
>Doesn't know how to quit
>Is a party aninal
>Pays more than his fare share of rent

Cons
>Drives like an absolute madman
>Is super rough with equipment, and if stuff breaks he'll try and fix it, with meager degrees of success
>Penchant for melodrama
>Doesn't know when to quit
>Is a party animal
>Will destroy you in nearly every strategy game you play against him
>Might ragequit if you do manage to beat him
>There's something super off about him. You're not sure what it is, but you don't think you can trust him 100%

Thanks Papa Nurgle

I keep trying to forget the South exists and then you fuckers come in here and remind me.

He... just stands in the corner motionless, leaking dust out the cracks in his armour. I'm going to bring a vacuum cleaner.

>Word Bearers
Well, at least he's not a Christian.

>Relictors
Well I don't own any Chaos artefacts so I DON'T get my stuff stolen, unlike all the suckers who picked Blood Ravens.

Might get an Inquisitor knocking on my door some day tho

>World Eaters
help

It's be great.

>Rent? What rent? We have to pay to live here? Cali'Gar! Apparently the landlord wants us to pay to live here! You don't have an opinion on that do you!?

They canonically play wargames, so pretty great. The house becoming completely burgler proof is a nice bonus (shame about what happened to the postman though).

This is bad.

World Eaters could be pretty interesting, depending how heretical they are, as they range from
>Kharn is the calm guy of Angron
to
>Kharn is the champion of Khorne
All depends on what stadium of his brain chip would be at the moment, but a World Eater roommate would make a man out of you, because he would want someone he could train with.

> Guys I need help. How do I remove a Powerboot from my rectum? I just asked him how he was doing and then anything went black and painful

What we still need:
>Carcharadons
>Red Corsairs/Astral Claws
>Crimson Fists
>Minotaurs
>Black Legion/Sons of Horus (depending if you want them heretical or not)
>Storm Wardens
>Black Templars
>Red Scorpions

Any other relevant/interesting chapter that would deserve being included here?

Optional:
>Marines Errant
>Sons of Medusa
>Fire Hawks/Legion of the Damned
>Black Dragons
>Flame Falcons
>Sons of Antaeus
>Sons of Malice
>Exorcists
>Mortifactors