Stupid PC stories

>players are looking for DMPC (undying light warlock) who has gone missing
>other DMPC (transmuter) tells them that she said that she was looking for her followers
>they spend the day investigating where her followers are being held and try to intercept her to stop her getting herself into trouble
>they spot her and sneaking into a prison and killing guards stealthily
>team agrees to just observe her with arcane eye and jump in if she needs help
>she kills 9 guards and frees all of her 11 followers
>team congratulate her on her murder hoboing
>teams warlock (undying) comes forward and starts shouting at her, players is having such an autism fit that he can't even do it in his characters voice
>mid ramble he says that he attacks her
>misses
>duel starts between them
>party is outnumbered but as the other players want nothing to do with the fight I keep it 1v1
>the whole team is calling warlock a hypocrite and so is the undying light warlock
>duel goes on until undying light warlock is 4 hp and undying warlock is 5 hp
>undying light warlock is willing to forgive him
>no I don't want your forgiveness you're evil and I'm going to kill you
>players start telling him that he's probably going to lose the fight and that they're not going to interrupt the duel and that he should yield
>no I'm going to kill her I have "defy death" she can't kill me
>tell him to read the ability
"you can regain hit points equal to 1d8 + your Constitution modifier when you succeed on a death saving throw"
>he has to succeed a savings throw plus he won't heal any more than 10 hp at the most
>o-okay I won't kill you but you have to give up your god
>DMPC accepts
>player sees nothing odd about this
>session ends with both warlocks alone together
>mfw she's going leave him to a fate worse than death
>mfw just the session before the undying warlock killed two innocent guards just because he wanted to pass a bridge that he wasn't allowed to and doesn’t realise he is the ultimate hypocrite

>you run into 14 kolbolds in a room
>"i'd like to intimidate them
>he succeeds and they all retreat
>he proceeds further into the dungeon
>it seems the kolbolds that retreated have joined this set of kolbolds, you count 32 kolbolds in this room
>"i'd like to intimidate"

>Party runs across some rabbits
>Druid can communicate with them
>Asks where a certain McGuffin, to do with their current quest, happens to be
>Rabbits ask for some carrots.
>Party turns out of the forest, treks back to the closest town, buys a bag of carrots, and returns to the rabbits with them.
>Rabbits don't know where it is, and try to get into the party's packs to see if they have more food.

They literally just went up to random rabbits and assumed that just because their guy could speak with animals, any random animal had to know something useful for their current quest.

My players did exactly the same thing. I had the rabbits bring them to an enclave of treats who pointed them in the right direction in exchange for returning a sacred animal to them.

I like to reward player ingenuity myself and keep the story going , rather than arbitrarily punishing players for not following my railroad.

Randomly spamming your class abilities and assuming it will help you out isn't "player ingenuity". Rewarding players for acting like retards encourages further retardation. As it was, the only loss was a bit of time to go to town and back, and a copper piece or so.

DMs whose philosopy can be summed up as "I must always suck the players collective dicks and prevent anything from bruising their fragile egos" are a cancer on TTRPGs.

All I can think of is a mob of Kobolds running away in utter panic from a barbarian waving his hands in the air screaming.

This mental image really brightened up my day.

Your games sound like fun. This isn't the 80s. Go and read some modern RPG design and return when you've been humbled by the knowledge.

They are, actually. Go and show me some "modern" game design that encourages you to abandon versimilitude and make sure every time your player does anything, it advances their interests somehow.

>I pickpocket the random passerby!
>Good thing he has the key to that vault you were thinking of looting!

>I trawl for rumors!
>Every single one of them is both true and immediately useful for your interests!

>I attack the Vizier because he has a goatee
>Well, it turns out he was evil and plotting against the king anyway, so you get a pass!
Those are shit games, suitable for children and manchildren. We shouldn't pander to that sort of audience.

That's not the same. The druid just tried to use one of his abilities to further the plot in a totally legitimate way and you could have just said "The rabbit doesn't know anything".

Instead you went full dick mode and lost them time. Not much, but still.

meant to answer sorry

>Rumors
My DM actually did something pretty fun with rumors. After our checks were all made, our characters had uncovered three credible rumors. After we made our choice of which one to act upon and went through the short adventure, he informed us later that one rumor was a complete falsehood, one rumor was half-true, and one rumor was completely accurate (as rumors go, anyway.)

>DMPC
>other DMPC
>DMPC
>DMPC
>DMPC
You misspelled "shit GM stories".

It is exactly the same. The implicit assumption is that if a player uses an ability, it should work out for them in some way, or at the very least not set them back. That's idiotic. What's next? NPCs can never lie to the PCs, because if the PCs believe them they might get in a pickle? Shopkeepers will never rip them off or sell them defective goods? A source of ancient lore is always spot on and never either honestly mistaken or covering up something important?

Whenever you're looking for information, consider the source. The idiocy involved in thinking some literally random rabbits in a clearing would know anything about a magical item is staggering.

>"Why do you run here?"
>"Guys guys! There's a big human-man coming! Big and scary!"
>"Let's join forces and take him out in here!"
>"BOOOO!"
>"Aaaaa! Run run run!"

>I pickpocket the random passerby!
>Good thing he has the key to that vault you were thinking of looting!

Infinitely more interesting than 'you get a few copper' or 'you fail to pickpocket him'. Well done.
>I trawl for rumors!
>Every single one of them is both true and immediately useful for your interests!

Rumours that are pertinent to the players goals and what they want to do in the game? Brilliant. I think you're really learning.
>I attack the Vizier because he has a goatee
>Well, it turns out he was evil and plotting against the king anyway, so you get a pass!

Sounds like the players got to feel like heroes killing the evil vizier great job.

I'm glad you were able to return to me humbled with your suggestions and may your games grow due to them. Good day .

Motherfuckers I needed those sides!

Ok, I know you're baiting, but for the other people out there who might actually think this is a good way to run things, let me offer the following.

One of the most overlooked aspects of RPGs is that they're GAMES. They're a series of interactions, conducted sequentially, which eventually terminate in a decisive outcome. In the example of an RPG itself, the player makes a decision, the character does (or abstains) from something, and there is a consequence or several. These consequences are not always equal. In fact, they should not always be equal, because if no matter what choices the players make all lead to inevitable victory, than none of those choices really matter, and you haven't played a game at all.

By making sure that every time the PCs do something, it advances their interests, you've ended the game entirely, and entered the realm of interactive storytelling. Maybe that's what your group likes, but don't pretend you're playing an RPG anymore, you're not.

You can go back to your blog now Justin.

let him go user, hes not worth it

Oh boy, time for another "shit GM blames everything on their players" thread!

>running a simple dnd game
>players ask an old wizard in a library for some info about their quest
>he activates as many explosive high-level spells as I can fit in his slots
>That Guy whines about how it was "unfair"
>mfw he completely forgot that dementia does weird things to the elderly
fucking entitled players, what did you expect when you went up to a wizard

I honestly can't figure out what you're trying to accomplish with that?

Not him, but it's obvious. He doesn't believe some or all of the stories, or just thinks they're in fact That GMs putting their players in impossible situations and then arbitrarily punishing them.

So he makes up a stupid, obvious story where this is clearly the case, and then "blames" his players.

You seem mentally ill. Are you a liberal?

LIBTARDS BTFO
HOW WILL THEY EVER RECOVER

(you)

...

Stopped reading at "other DMPC". I thought this was supposed to be about stupid players, not stupid DMs.