>Elven men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from their women. Yes, they live long, but are fucking retarded and can't learn shit in all those decades. All it takes is 10.000 solid swords and solid men behind them and elven kingdom will be
thud!
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Nothin personnel, round-ears
Elves Fuck Yeah Thread?
The only thing worse than an "elves are gay" thread is a "nuh-uh, elves are not gay!" thread.
How many elf threads must we have every single fucking day? I haven't had a website have such a repressed denial-filled hateboner to something since the great furry scare of -04.
Not posting superior version.
One job OP, one job.
>elves think this is fatal
But a flesh wound.
That last arrow to the foot always cracks me up
Honestly... It's a long-running joke on here. Half of us are Dorfs, half of us are Elves, we pick up sides and have a feud that lasts as long as any feud between these two races traditionally do.
I self-identify as a Thri-kreen subspecies.
I like elves. Dorfs are too chewy.
I, for one, welcome our elf overlords.
*Furiously invents plate armour and greek fire*
I know the artist made a version of that picture with the bowstring fixed. Post that one!
>fire burning pitch from a catapult
Burn in hell you pointy eared freaks.
>my grace, the general got killed
>GREAT
>go call our allies in
>a week of dragon air raids
>entirety of the elven forest is on fire
>thanks bahamut!
Dragons fuck yeah
Is that a boy elf or a girl elf?
>SingleElvenArcherwithGreaterManyshot.gif
What's embarrassing is that the Elf walks out a few seconds later, a horrified look on his face, because this is his first time meeting humans and he thought you were going to dodge that. That was supposed to be a warning volley!
...really? Your great plan for beating the elves is to call in dragons against the very guys who TAUGHT US HOW TO TALK TO DRAGONS?
Your Grace, I beg you reconsider.
You know what time it is boys?
It's elf posting time.
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Why are elf-lovers so degenerate?
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>tfw no qt femboi elf to fuck after a long battle
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It doesn't matter.
What would a race of half-elves half-dwarves be like?
Roughly 171cm, with shorter ears. Some facial hair, but not too much, and not on females like the dwarves. Not as slender as the elves either.
You're right.
Elves and Dwarves can only mix via proxy with half human descendants.
So they'd be more human than either of those races.
Are we talking elves that are taller than humans or elves shorter than humans?
"Nothin personal, round-ears. I mean, after all, I don't consider your kind as people."
>10.000
Eurocuck spotted
Use commas to separate thousands, like an actual man who has pride in himself
Humans
Dwelfs
Basically humans
Where is this from?
American Gods. The Starz adaptation of the Neil Gaiman novel. Season 1 just finished up, so now's a good time to binge it.
>elfeports behind you.
For the last time we are not stopping at Elfport, I don't care that you couldn't find the brothel when we where there.
This always feels like the equivalent of 'psssh, nothing personnel kid.'
>I'm going to just blow them up from a distance, they can't possibly resist that!
>I'm going to invent superior technology to fuck them up, no way they'll manage to counter that!
Yeah, and the US did so well in Vietnam.
>thud!
They're utterly petty too, I see.
Halflings
>elves and dragons fight a war
>turns into Vietnam
I mean, sure we'll lose the war, but at least those pointy-eared pricks will need to deal with the aftermath: magic-based agent orange, PTSD, draconic rock-music, and a generation of half-breeds infesting their orphanages and villages.
well the American strategy of going for the highest K/D ration wouldn't work in vietnam for obvious reasons but against elves, you genuinely can win a battle of attrition.
>Elven men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from their women.
Elven "men" are a meme. I've been fucking elves for years and I've never found one who could fuck back.
So, like that elf from Hawk the Slayer?
>Western men are so feminine and can be hardly told apart from their women. Yes, they live long, but are fucking retarded and can't learn shit in all those decades. All it takes is 10.000 solid swords and solid men behind them and western country will be
bang!
Reminder that we are the elves.
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Anyone have a link to that essay detailing why LotR male elves need cock rings? The female elves have tentacles.
Here is are some laughing elves as payment.
>inb4 tumblr / tumblr nose
... Shit, man...
Oh neat. Good analogy.
kek
>All these dwarf women are so masculine they can be hardly told apart from their men. Yes, they look strong, but are fucking tiny and can't hit above your waist. All it takes is 10,000 solid swords and solid men behind them and dwarven kingdom will be
thud!
>Narcolepsy is a laughable fucking illness. Yes it's pervasive but it's fucking sleep and can't keep its grip on you forever. All it takes is a 10,000 year eugenics program and narcolepsy will be
thud!
pretty good t.b.h.f.a.m.
I miss my dog.
>I know the artist made a version of that picture with the bowstring fixed. Post that one!
I'll be straight with you, I have no fragging idea who the artist is or where to search for such an improved image
Image-search does get me some nice-looking sketch art though, so thanks for that. Here's an image depicting an elven couple.
>Utterly wiped out all resistance until political will to continue doing so fails.
>Go home, suffering nothing from it.
>Meanwhile north Vietnam lost whole generations and was wrecked.
Man, I hope no country I live in ever 'wins' a war with the US like that.
Girl, as it was a fulfilled drawthread request. For me!
Also she's a drow elf. And was actually raised by humans. Properly speaking if she was going to get involved in any kind of surface elf/human conflict it would probably be to prevent it.
I mean, that's not wrong. Elves don't learn shit in all those decades. In the majority of systems, a starting elf character will have nearly the exact same capabilities as a starting human character despite having several decades on them. What were you doing with all that time, elves? You don't even have improved art skill levels or whatever to indicate that you were pursuing hobbies instead of training for adventure.
Elves and Dwarves can not mix.
Dwarves and Orcs on the other hand can.
Imagine orcs raiding a dwarven fort only to end up shagging bearded women.
I want to see that look of disappointment on their faces.
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>Go home, suffering nothing from it.
>suffering nothing
Wow, classic "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist" logical fallacy here
This guy is definitely younger than 25, goes to show how much the humilation of defeat was revised and buried
Is it actually any good? Liked the book, but I'm always wary of tv adaptations.
>tfw you get born as an elf just for the element of surprise
>shooting guns
it'd probably just be a bunch of bombs or a drone strike.
>draconic rock music
Lord have mercy
Gnomes
The only time Elven men are indistinguishable from Elven women is if it's someone's magical realm. Or if it's some tumblrina's yaoi fanart.
This is what they should look like when they not being smutified.
It's fantastic, extraordinarily faithful to the book, and I can't wait for season two.
Why do people keep drawing them with horizontal pig ears? Why?
Japan.
Why do they have to ruin everything good?
I see they have 3 blind archers up there. Time to get naked.
Why not a picture of Hiroshima? Or Tunguska? Or Krakatau?
That's how I imagine how elves react to invasions.
>oh no, the barbarians are invading... what should we do...
>do we cast the armaggedon spell, the cataclysm spell, or the apocalypse spell?
>I cast the carmageddon spell.
what are western rural folk in this analogy?
Drow?
I like what the elderscrolls does in that elves *can* live 1000 years if they live a pampered and elite life, but your average elf doesn't live much longer than your average human.
Wood elves, I imagine.
>Stay the fuck away from my woods or I'll shoot ya!
>city elves are not even real elves, those pansies couldn't bag a fucking elk if their lives depended on it
>some of them even mate with men, those degenerates
Humans have mages too you know. Not to mention other nations probably frown on bringing out fantasy nukes for a conflict for what is probably a strip of land on the border.
They are going to use those spells because if such spells exist so will MAD
*they aren't going
Nobody knows. Forgotten Realms has said they can mate, but has never statted them. You could argue that they can't, or that's how you wind up with either halflings or gnomes.
But then, "Races of Destiny" advanced the theory that humans were literally a dwarf/elf/halfling fusion, born to a slutty halfling with one dwarf husband and one elf husband.
Oh of course it isn't! It never is, is it Tina? You just go around acting however you like, but do you ever stop to think about ho you might hurt the people around you? Do you, Tina? Of course not, because "Oim an Elf an oi know what's best yes I do!" Well guess what Tina, I'm a person too. I'm sick of this Tina. I'm sick of how you hurt me.
Hey hey hey, what's going on here?
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DIABLO, JUST FUCK OFF. No, I'm not down for Sunday you asshole. Fuck off, I'm having a conversation. You're the friend no one likes.
Oh what the hell man? You're going around talking about me acting like a jerk and then you go and say that when he's just coming around to spend some damn time with you! What the hell is wrong with you? How can you ask why I can't treat you like a person when you're so inhumane?
Naw, naw. I'm fine. I get it.
See you assholes on the flip side.
And thanks for everything up to now, Tina.
HEY, WAIT, TINA NO! DON'T- TINA I AM TALKING TO YOU, GET BACK HERE!
GOD
FUCKING
DAMMIT
autism
>youtu.be
And so the story came to an end. The brash Barbarian, though pleading to be recognized as a person, was ignorant of his hypocrisy. He wished for recognition and affection from the one he cared for, all the while decrying others who sought the same from him. In the end he wound up like so many others in this cold, dark world. Alone.
What if it's elven women who are so masculine they can't be told apart from the men? What if what we consider feminine is masculine to elves?
What if you spent a lifetime gurgling cocks? Would your boipussy be considered feminine?
I can never tell if the OP of the daily elf threads hates them or not.
There's nothing feminine about being crushed to death by Snu Snu.