You're probably all asking yourselves; "Commissar Knochenmus! Why are you wearing nothing but your Commissar's hat, and a black speedo with the Aquilla on it?". To which my answer is; Because we're going on vacation!
That's right people! I requested some time off for our regiment, due to all your recent hard work! As such, Segementum Command has kindfully shipped us off to the beach covered paradise world of, Celidorn IV!
So, I hope you've all packed your sunscreen and towels, because we're about to do a Surprise "Fun Kit Inspection"!
And for those of you from Krieg. This vacation is mandatory, and you WILL enjoy it while it lasts! Consider that an official order!
>Welcome to "Field Kit Inspection", home of the Unknown Regiment. Feel free to join in! Remember though, We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, while greentexts are used for describing a character's actions, d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, with higher being better.
Josiah Thompson
Ill get out my waterproof parts
Easton Nelson
Tempestor Prime, Nathaniel Marros, of the 82nd Iotian Minotaurs, Reporting in, Sir!
I guess my lads and I, have earned a few days off. Doesn't mean I won't be putting them through drills!
Oliver Jones
foot private, second class reporting
sorry for being late, i had to drag this twin plasma cannon all the way here
if its a vacation, i better bring my portable tent
Angel Kelly
Lieutenant, Matthias Wyvern, Sir! My men and I are suited up, and ready to get some rays!
Wonder if there'll be any decent bars?
Daniel Flores
oops forgot my name tag sorry sir
looks like those darn catachan devils stole it again its a lot harder to take it back from them than the scions
Logan Baker
depends on if you like fruity drinks
Josiah Garcia
Trooper! You are missing your name tag! I don't care if you're not wearing your normal, Munitorum issued uniform! You should have your name stitched onto your underwear, like I do!
...Or you can wear your dog tags! Either or! Good idea! But make sure you aren't leaking oil or other things everywhere! I'd had to ruin the beaches this way!
Ryder Gray
Tempestus Scion Mantrek Faun, of the 82nd Lotian Minotaurs reporting for duty, Sir!
Hot day out, perfect for a xenos ambush don't you think?
Kayden Wilson
My men, would never stoop so low, as to steal your name tag, Private! >He'd poke his finger into the trooper's chest.
Unlike some of you, we atleast have honour!
Levi Russell
dony worry tinman, if xenos were here, they are probably out on vacation too, no need to bother them, they aint gonna bother us
and if they do, then we just blast em easy on my armor, unlike flak, fingerprints really stick to carapace
and i do have honor, i keep it in my footlocker
Robert Roberts
Did you just call me "Tin-man" private?
Levi Smith
>He'd shake his head at the trooper.
That isn't Carapace armour! Atleast not FULL carapace armour.
Hell! I bet you took that from some deceased scion or other trooper who earned it! Didn't you!
Austin Sanders
Hey, I'm fine with a fruity drink. I'd rather it take good, than taste like watered down piss in a mug.
Brayden Reed
yes sir and i call the techpriests "cogboys" and the medicae "meat worker" and my lascannon is "honor" no sir, i bumped my flak armor really hard into the mud, and like magic it came out tougher
reports of scions nearby are greatly exaggerated
Logan Ross
You will call me by my title Private! Do you understand me?
Aaron Wright
SCREEECH
Landon Wright
>He'd take a seat as he waits for the Devourer transport, to land planet side.
You people, REALLY need to get along better... Otherwise this is going to be a LOOOOONG car ride to the beach...
Juan Evans
Don't bother. At least it will be an entertaining long ride.
Gavin Rogers
hey bud, you speak low gothic or are you choking on a ration bar?
yes sir, dont worry sir your language is perfectly understandable
>lugs his cumbersome twin plasma cannon into the cramped compartment like my previous sarge said, "never a boring day in the guard"
Jace Miller
That's where you're wrong, trooper.
Me and are Scions.
Dominic Rodriguez
SCREEECH >Holds a green little bucket and a spade
Alexander Allen
you should probably get the medicae to get a look at you you look like a pile of grox droppings
Parker Parker
>Number Zero would walk up silently to the Commissar, his Gas mask and helmet still on >His voice would sound crackly ...Krieg Infantry Specialist #0, reporting for duty...
William Brooks
>Slaps Dak SCREEECH
Sebastian Perez
I swear... The things the Commissar let's into the regiment are getting weirder, and more heretical with each passing day...
Nathan Foster
AGH >I'd hit the thing in the face with the butt of my Hot-shot Lasgun
Angel Foster
nonsense, a little recaf, a little exercise, and we will be as right as rain
Easton Miller
Ah, one of the Death Korps troopers!
Hopefully you're not also here to complain about the regiment's vacation.
If not, than I'm happy to have you aboard!
Adam Wood
Why have a vacation, when you could be dying for the Emperor sir?
Levi Adams
sometimes we can live for the emperor, and a little beach time sure is good living >gives a friendly pat on the back
Evan Sanders
calming SCREEECH
Angel Morgan
Rolled 94 (1d100)
>Using his persuasive skills You *do* want to die for the emperor, don't you sir?
Tyler Kelly
The fact that these men, through the use of my tactical genius, and ingenuity. Have managed to destroy an entire Ork WAAAGH!!!, An Eldar war host, cleansed and destroyed a Space Hulk full of foul chaos energies and Tyranid genestealers, and far more! These men deserve a few days off from the grim horrors of war!
Angel Long
Does anyone have any sunscreen?
Carter Turner
Sometimes dumb bastards like you don't deserve to live
Kevin Lopez
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
>He'd take this as a challenge to his honour as a man, and a warrior of the Emperor.
Are you calling ME, Commissar Arthur. C. Knochenmus. A COWARD!?! HOW DARE YOU TROOPER!
Justin Cook
Rolled 45 (1d100)
>Aids him Indeed, it would be a great honor befitting a man of your status, not to speak level of competence!
Charles Taylor
100, 200, Or 5000?
Brody Miller
Rolled 60 (1d100)
>Persuading him to die for the Emperor A coward? Maybe. Taking a vacation instead of dying for the emperor? How preposterous
Cooper Long
i found some SPF 9000 in the back of the taurox if you want im sure the cogboys dont need it
Benjamin Rogers
If you're saying I'm not willing to die for the Emperor, you're sadly mistaken, trooper! I've given the entirety of my life in his service! Taken dozen of battle wounds, during the slaying of his numerous enemies! And even lost my left arm, leg, and eye, in his service!
All at different times, mind you... But still!
Ian Mitchell
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>persuading him to kill himself If you are not willing to die for the Emperor, right now, you are a puny Commissar
Christian Butler
>It was at this point, that the Devourer landing craft, carrying the majority of the regiment, would finally land upon the surface of the planet. It's side and front doors opening up, and exposing it's cargo to the bright sun, and salty air, of Celidorn IV.
Kayden Robinson
That might go a bit overboard, unless he was a coward. I'm certain our good commissar is not one, else he would have executed himself long ago. I don't like this...
Julian Ross
SCREEECH >runs off to make a sand castle
Robert Moore
You're so going to die....
Why would I waste my life right now, commiting suicide, when it would be mucj better spent, in his service upon the battlefield!
Jeremiah Richardson
Rolled 83 (1d100)
>Persuading him to kill himself Maybe because your life is worth nothing
Brayden Bennett
Last one in the water, is a salty, faithless Krieger infantrymen!
>He'd bolt out the Devourer, and towards the white sandy beaches, and crystal clear water.
Joshua Williams
*beaches make my carapace turn blue*
Anthony Lewis
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>Pawn begins to make a tower
Dominic Stewart
It's too bright and hot! I'm not going out there!
Kayden Russell
>Tower quickly falls apart and some kind of small critter comes out of it
Brody Price
ITT: A Krieger with all the luck gets the regiment's leave cancelled in favour of a suicide mission and talks the commissar into an heroing
Ryder Walker
>takes off his air filter it's been a while since I got clean air
time to go look for "souvenirs" good idea, some sun will make you feel better
now if I can find that dozer blade for our chimera, I could build a truly big sand castle
Christian Perez
>A small fighter drops from the heavens, out hops a small angery looking priest
is this the right regiment?
Nicholas Sullivan
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>pawn tries to do it again
Daniel Cruz
wtf is with these rolls!
>He would grab the infantry man by his throat with his bionic hand. Squeezing it tightly as he begins to drag h out of the transport, and towards the beach.
If it wasn't for the fact that we're on vacation. I'd show you what fore!
>He'd then hand the man a plastic shovel, and would throw him into the sand with all his might.
Just because you don't enjoy a day off every now and again. That doesn't mean, you can ruin it for the rest of us! So if you need something to do, go an dig a trench system for a sand castle fortress!
Carter Myers
[well if its cancelled can you please help the berserker, I enjoy yelling as him]
Chase Price
what the heck is that? >begins charging his plasma
Landon Kelly
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>the castle falls apart again SCREEECH >Pawn tries to do it again
Colton James
>He'd walk over towards the ship, his body soaking wet from the water.
That depends... Are you looking for the "Unknown Regiment"?
Brody Smith
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>I'd smash the plastic shovel into the man's testicles
Caleb James
>the man scowls at the lord-commissar
OI YOU, are you the fuckin idoit that leads this shit pit?
its been called that, but I was told its called miscriets and getting missions done with few casualtys [heresy]
Cooper Carter
>Pawn builds a magnificent snd tower modeled after a defensive hive spire, with a little commissar *BLAM-ing* insubortinate soldiers
Jordan Scott
No, wrong regiment, we have more than enough priests as is! Faith secure, you can go! >huddles in a shadowy corner of the Devourer dropship
Elijah Richardson
Rolled 15 (1d20)
*watch and learn rawr*
Camden Flores
look here bud you gotta mix some water with the sand >begins using a carapace helmet as a bucket when its nice and firm, it will hold its shape
Cameron Cooper
>the arch confessor turns and levels a flamer of holy promethean at the pyker
YOU SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO YOU FUCKIN WITCH, NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I BURN YA
Jace Green
Hang on one moment, Sir.
>He'd take a moment and would run into the Devourer. >There would be sounds of screaming and shouting, as the young Officer, begins to drag the Astropath out of the Devourer.
I don't care who you think you are... But you need some sun!
Juan Richardson
*interesting thought rawr* *maybe the sun could actually be consumed rawr*
Jaxson Fisher
Rolled 99 (1d100)
>The Commissar's good eye would begin to twitch with anger at the Guardsman. >With all his strength, he would toss the man into the ocean as far away form him as he possibly could. >Rolling for distance.
Charles Thomas
Fine, fine, you can stick around and pray or something... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! It's too bright! Too hot! I want to inspect charge packs in the ship, where it's survivable!
Lucas Perry
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>Rolling to dodge Fuck you!
Nathan Reyes
the sun never hurt anyone
except that one time we when the planet we were in had no ozone, but that was not normal
Leo Howard
>He'd continue to drag the man further down the beach, and away from the Devourer.
If you want to hide somewhere shady, you can do it at a casino, or a cabana! But you are not wasting our vacation inside a Devourer!
Nolan Cox
>the arch confessor picks up the hapless astropath and uses him as a umbrella. taking great care to make sure his face is pointed to the sun, I walk over to the commissar
OI YA DAFT GUN USING IDIOT
Easton Flores
SCREEECH >Pawn takes out a sun-blocking umbrella out of...*bag* and brings it to the Astropath
Xavier Reyes
>The krieger gets throws into the ocean, and is promptly eaten by a giant xenos sea monster
Wyatt Ward
looks like we got a brawl here everyone place your bets
>unfolds a collapsible table odds currently 3:1 commissars favor
Isaiah Nelson
>I'd watch as the Krieger was eaten mercilessly, and torn apart by the monster By the Emperor...
Dylan Cook
>The man would be sent flying a good 300 meters down the beach, and into the crystal clear waters of the ocean. >With hsiw work done, the Commissar would make his way towards a cabana bar to get a drink.
Jose Gray
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>Shrug >Pawn begins to build a second tower
Gavin Morgan
>sets up his table just in time to see the spectacle
never a dull moment in the guard
>does a double take out of the water, there's xenos in there!
Kevin Robinson
>the confessor puts his flamer on the guardsmens chest.
GAMBLEING LEADS TO AN IDLE HAND, THAT LEADS TO AN IDLE MIND THAT IS SUSSPTABLE TO CHAOS. DO YOU WANT TO BET ON THAT GUARDSMEN?
YOU, LORD-COMMISAR COME HERE
Zachary King
The thing that are that Krieger? I think that's just private Hamms...
Nicholas Torres
I AM BURNING! I CAN'T SEE, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO? MY MASK! IT BURNS, THE METAL BURNS MY SKIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-Oh, thank you-AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Nathan Turner
>Malallius would seem to appear from absolutely nowhere, smirking as he did so Ah, the forefront against chaos >Me being a Daemon in disguise as a guard, I'd be able to tell a chaos daemon spawn from anywhere Very devious...
Austin Scott
>Pawn builds a second tower which looks like an anti-air tower of a hive city
Lucas Mitchell
>droping the pyker, I grind my foot on his hand and let out a small growl
respect your betters witch
Liam Stewart
>The Commissar would return a few moments later, a purple and pink drink in his hand, and a line sitting on the edge of the glass.
Ahhh, it's no wonder that one Commissar, turned to heavy drinking to deal with his issues.
Thankfully, I'm not like him in any way whatsoever!
>He'd take a sip from the cup.
Jayden Rodriguez
>I'd whisper into one of the spawn's many ears, speaking in Daemon whisper Listen here, you wretched spawn. I know who you are. I know what you are. Tread carefully.
Tyler Jackson
are you the leader of this fuckin rable? these disgraceful insolent almost hetitics?
Nathan Richardson
You will watch your mouth, Priest! These are good, loyal soldiers of the Imperium! And you WILL treat them as such!
Jace Adams
Oh, I do respect them, whenever I meet them... That's going to leave a mark... Would you kindly remove your boot from my hand? He is! He is, and he dislikes it when his favorite Astropath is being oppressed! Yes, treat me as such!... Pretty please?
Juan Perez
well so much for going diving
Ryder Anderson
one was gambleing, another was just eaten, another looks like a bug, yet another I'm sure has some form of disease that gives him tenticals and A FUCKING WITCH, had the NERVE to tell ME to leave this WORLD.
your reqimant is not doing good in its first impressions
>the confessor turns and fires a short burst of flames at the bastard setting his clothes aflame
YOU JUST MET ONE
Jeremiah White
Again, I'm pretty sure that was just private Hamms who did that...
Jackson Brooks
looks like you were almost fired there, astropath >chuckles
but seriously keep that flamer away from these charcoals I found, cant let them burn before the barbecue
I would hate to try and cool with plasma, it tastes worse than it smells
Alexander Morgan
Gambling, although not the best use of one's time, and resources, allows the men to bond, and it helps to raise regimental moral!
Has for everything else, I'm sure the sun was merely in your eyes, or you misheard due to the sound of crashing waves, against the beach.
