Galactic Federation:Perfected BBQ Edition

In atmosphere?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=mZjqDnfMzX4

Exactly, one way to get their attention,
Just wait till you see his volcano cannon.

Nah have Jameson go up front. He has a flamer and nobody fucking likes him anyways.
>Sir,you don't like me?
Shut the fuck up Jameson let's move out. And I remember that. Shane you never saw combat against the Conclave in the words of one of my captains:"shit was cash".

I know you're serious.It's not that ridiculous.Try to hold off any Perfected that arrive.

So,Beally,are we destroying that Core or what?Bybbles could blow it up,if we found it.

>Carter absentmindedly roasts a Perfected limb on an Insta-Fire and chews on it.

Hello federation, how can I help?
>as usual the vex distorts slightly indicating astral presence.

I have stopped hurting now

Karl,are you coming in drop pods or boarding the enemy ships?
Ooc
So,is there currently a fleet battle going on,while we are destroying the Core?No rules are needed if it is,this is just RP after all.

"Sorry Jameson but I'm sure Mr.Bybbles would allow you to ride on that child sized skull near his house sized foot that we should definitely not garrison.."
"Well Mr. Bybbles I need you to activate protocol firestorm
No we legit snuck in through a box.

>Carter fiddles with his device
Karl,can you move my Vox closer to my new communicative tumor?I heard a voice.

Beally,tell me when you see the core.Bybbles can try and destroy it,but if that doesn't work we'll just blow it up from the inside.

THAT IS ME
> childish amusement dances through the box, followed by a short butts of repeating static. It seems to be laughing

How can I help?

youtube.com/watch?v=4UEQQzrfbSc
"YES MR. BYBBLES, SHOW THESE UNBELIEVERS THE MIGHT OF THE IMPERIUM OF MANNN."
>those words escape Beally's mouth too quickly for her to catch them.
"FIRE THE VOLCANO."
>Beally starts to jump around giddy with joy.
"FIRE THE VOLCANO CANNON!"

WE DID IT!!
H-HOLY SHIT!!

Oh.
So,I assume you are another Vox entity?Like Vox himself?Wow,you guys are gonna need to be roommates,I guess.

I'm happy I switched from vox service this morning.Two people listening on my conversation is wierd.
So,what are you?
Kill them all!
>In the distance,a gigantic device is seen.Massive and swarming with Perfected.

A quick silence for all who died during battle.
Jameson you will be missed.

>in a couple of seconds the Object is gone,
However the true fight begins, as every Perfected ship makes a beeline for their homeplanet..My homeplanet.
Admiral that ship, we need to make our escape oh and do you have room for Mr.Bybbles, I don't want to leave him here to die alone, at least not here.

I am astral, I don't know WHAT I am but I remember running, flashing slipping running.
Then I was put here. I like to help, I like to play with the box signals and I want scramble through systems and cause merry chaos, your system is close enough to it though. I'll leave it be.

Just by shuttle. But stealth shuttle of course. Because even with stealth a cruiser can't fight a whole fleet. Should I bring any explosives for destroying the core? Got some nukes and antimatter bombs.
Getting ready for the battle tomorrow. Got some ideas but I don't want to spoil the surprise. Let's just say things will get interesting...

Hey you, you know any good songs?

You have to bring a carrier for Mr.Bybbles the god machine.

Rolled 77 (1d100)

youtube.com/watch?v=tqo9NXkRaPk

>a quick muttering rings from the vex as the entity known as astral does some arcane practice

Would this do?
Or this?
youtube.com/watch?v=wy-sVTaZRPk

Well if we can garrison it we might not die in case of orbital bombardment. Can you ask and see if he minds us setting up some heavy machine guns in his shins?
Sure let me boost the signal power too. And damn Carter have you updated your tumor lately? It's laggy as shit.

Several perfected ships fall to the ground powerless, the rest seem confused as their ability to use comm s is severed

Close enough?Yeah,it's supposed to be a trap,so that if Vox ever came back he'd be killed if he attempted infiltration.

My Wastes equipment doesn't run on anything close to this,but sadly I need to keep this one close enough to the base Vox systems to speak with the others.So I rigged it to kill anything that entered.Sorry,but you'll have to watch your step around it.It's a necessary precaution,after all.

So,tripping and running...
Are you a lab experiment?
Maybe you escaped?
Ooc
Wrote up stuff in the thread earlier today,if you're curious about my new tumor cell service.
Understood.So,has the Core been destroyed now?
Also,the Perfected are Andronian?

1010101001010100101001010101010100101010010100000000101001010101011111100010010101101010101100101001010100100010101010101010101010011001111111010010100000001001011111000010010101010101010101010010101010000001111010011100111011011011010101110101101011
More guns? Why of course not.

If I updated it it would lose the ability to fry any intruders.
This is necessary for me.What if Vox tried to take control of the Serenity?

They took my homeplanet but not a single andronian among their ranks, I see my people gave them a fight as this used to be the shining jewel of my people, Now a blasted burned out rock.
But I think the reason they was so little Perfected here is that.
>As if on queue tons of Andronian Warriors hold the party at claw point.
>"and just where do you think you're taking the bananaman?"

>You can hear a roar in the distance. A giant outline with a lizard creature with spikes all over it's back and glowing with radiation coming out of the fog.
The fuckers stole Godzilla. Damn their gonna have a pile of lawsuits to deal with if they survive. And yeah but he'll have to wait on top of the ship. The hangers are too small.
Ooc I think they're bioships so I guess you can give them seizures or something too.

Then I would play with him. I wonder if he is mouldable
>that binaric giggling returns for a moment. Obviously this being does not have a sense of danger or urgency

If they have a comm and control network, a few are out of commission all are deaf and mute

Bananaman?
Hey look,I'm just here to kill Perfected with Beally and get a drink later,I ain't got a banana person.
Godzilla?Huh.Never thought I'd see him,especially on the Andronian home planet.
Ooc
Yeah,they are bioships last I checked.Astral can go nuts.

OOOOOOOOOH
BUT WE HAVE A BIG GUY TOO.
"Go get em Mr. Bybbles!"
>You'll never see an emperor class titan fist fight godzilla while cracking dad jokes.

Would not recommend that.He is the literal Vox system,and a Court being at that.

Thank god the Perfected don't use too foreign tech,so you can fuck their shit up.Make em all crash.If they're so perfect,why are they getting beat by their radios?

Hey-o!
>Carter witnesses this unfold.

Okay,here's an idea.If the Perfected have a mothership,we could launch in and kill them all.Then,it'll be a simple mop up job.

Ooc sure dude.

I have no idea. Ask the Andronian since this appears to be his world.
>The men take aim at the warriors. A hundred or more rifles pointed at them.
I think we'll be the ones doing the threatening and asking the questions here. Why did the Perfected want this planet?

Okay.
Also,it's a she.
You sure you want to threaten them?Me and Beally just killed a planet,and she's only one.

>"Not you walker of the void, him."
>gestures to titan.
>"Now are you here to help because our LC told us to dig the fuck in."
>"And these alien fucks messed with the wrong invertebrates."
>The small drone looks at Beally then to Carter then to the rest of the federation personally.
>"LC can I speak to you privately?"
"What do you.."
>them the drone starts dancing.
>"IT'S TIME TO D-D-D--KILL!"

Ooc I know dude. That's why it had to happen. We need more dinosaur on Titan fist fighting.
Who are you getting on Andronian?
>pulls out his portable microwave and puts a bag of popcorn in
I'm going Godzilla but I'm biased because my parents were avid fans of it too.

"stand down sir!,"
"Bobo these are our reinforcements."
"Federation I'd like you to meet the Andronians."
>The gathered soldiers put their guns down and make their way towards Beally.
>A small andronian holds out his hand.
>"Pleasure to meet you, I am Bobo Farkus, the Ruler and speaker of the late Queen."

That's not nice, I want to dual on a ancient battleground.... a Childs card game.

I am NOT a radio, that's insulting a mere radio, hmmph.

Ohh you look fun, lets go play
>the being jumped through the systems to the god machine

A new song burrs from the fox casters of the titan
youtube.com/watch?v=iFRa0KZsGhc

I love godzilla but Mr.Bybbles is a good friend of mine and a emperor class titan, that might be the only thing capable of putting godzilla down that isn't a another robot godzilla.
Also do you wanna write it of me? Cause If I do it, Jameson's gettiing a badass cameo

I already like you,Astral.Don't mess with my TV and we'll get along just fine,considering you have great music taste.

Beally,your people have a Queen?
Do your people hate the Court as well?

No I'm afraid our Queen is the reason the Court loathes all our entire races, See it's not nice to attempt to starve someone out by eating all their food before they do, especially in a multiverse where you really can meet again.

Oh.So,you guys tried to kill a universe before them,to prevent them from growing power?

Huh.Well,the Queen's dead now.Who's the successor?

Rolled 84 (1d100)

Okay

>in the Bowles of the god machine, I look on with glee as I subvert the spirits systems

Oh you don't need this do you? Thanks for the weapons

>a screech and can't of binary

Oh theres no need for that, ill let you have an optic, I just want to play

youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk

>Looks around at other Andronians.
"Can someone please stop what's about to happen?"
>They all look on with the smuggest looks.
"PLEASE NO."
"Mr bybbles help! they want to Seize my means of reproduction!"

Fuck it do it my dude. And do you want to help write some of the lore for the War too? A co contributer would help speed that fucker up.
>Gives the Queen an Imperial salute
I send greetings from the Emperor and the United Empire do need any aid?

He's not here right now, but what's going on?

>I aim the anti infantryman weapon at the group

Come on creatures , give me a reason to use this shiny new gun

>next the volcano cannon aims at the

Or this one

>the amusement is palpable

>Bobo looks at the blasted ruins of the Andronian Headquarters.
>Bobo lays a claw over Karl's shoulder.
>"Well my friend, my homeplanet is dead, my wife is dead, and my kids are about to rape my other kid so, I could really use some hard liquor right about now."
>Can you provide booze.

Wow.I am happy I have different systems.You really do enjoy chaos.

Just try not to blow us up.I would not appreciate it.
What's about to happen?
Are they gonna crown you Queen?Are they going to execute us?Why aren't we fighting the Perfected?
Stop aiming those guns at us,please.

>"Now you get out of Me this instant daemon!"
>"I will never submit deamon! FOR THE EMPEROR."

Wait.

Did you say they're gonna rape your other kid?

"I think about about to be gang raped, this is how they crown our queens."
>Beally inches closer to the ship
"Please help me, these manics got this planet.

>"Yes brutally infact, SHe most possibly won't and can't survive the amount of D shes about the receive, and not because she's our last surviving female of any caste left alive."

Shut up your friends talking

Do you want to be raped?
>the stubber spins up

I can paralyse nervous systems of they are connected to a comm's unit. But as you can see, I have other means

>The king continues
>"Totally not super fucked as a species."
>"definitely not going to die out without females or something."
>"Definitely don't need that drink."

Okay.

Nope.Fuck that noise.
>Carter pulls out his gun and grabs Beally

Beally,we're leaving.Not gonna let em do this.

Any of you fucks come near her,Karl and I are blowing your brains out with our guns.
I'm sorry,but gang rape is not how you crown someone,and I'm not about to watch a friend get violated.
Who would connect their spines to their comms?That's retarded.

I am going to destroy this planet.I think Beally is the only relatively sane one of you guys left.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>I open fire on the group laughing maniacally

REMEMBER KIDS ALWAYS HAVE PERMISSION LIKE I DO TO MURDER JAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And it doesn't have to be connected to the spine, you won't be live how many cyborg there are. Further more your cancer cell-phone is connected to a comms unit. Hmmm?

>Throws a flask to the Queen
It's pretty much jet fuel at this point but if it can get an Imperial vet drunk it'll help you.

"Now son put the gun down, Lets not turn this rape into murder orgy ok?"
>The king sneaks past.
>"Like fuck you're leaving me with these maniacs."
"I'm going to Hack hack!"
>The androians start to cry the blue ichor of the Perfected as it runs down their faces.
"Please help us..."
"HACK HACK HACK!!"

>tearing up the ground around the would be refiners, I cackle as several are turned to red mush
HAHAHAHAHAHA

>"I'm the king but ok! Let's geth fuck outta here!"
>the king grabs Beally and runs inside.
"BO BO FUCKKKKK!!!"
>The androians begin to scale the God machine, tearing apart the creamette plating.
"RIP AND TEAR HACK HACK."

My cancer cell phone isn't connected to me,though.
It's just a ball of pus and flesh.
Nope.Nope nope nope.

>Carter's ship flies down,and he throws Beally and himself in and locks the door.

Karl,Astral,just kill them and leave.We're going to blow up that Perfected ship.

Oi,King.You wanna get outta there,just ask Karl to give you a ride.I am not letting any of you guys near her.

>The ship pulls away.Carter mutters something about telling Betus to eat the system under his breath.

Rolled 17, 20 = 37 (2d20)

>'laughing, I slam my leg into the nearest ship. Then I activate my pint defense guns, ripping at the climbing fools

I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK

Ooc I need that Godzilla battle to complete my life dude.
>Plants a tactical nuke inside the Titan having his troops cover the entryways and the Andronians as well.
Every shit the fuck up and deactivate your weapons or we all die. And this nuke is analog so don't even think about messing with it or I'll detonate it now. You ready to listen or ready to die?

>Carter flies by the Godzilla,which is now charging at the group below.

Okay Beally,any plans now?We destroyed the Core,but that just seemed to bunch up all their forces into one system.

>a light blinks on above him

HEY IM HELPING, and the nuke would inconvenicae me but you would die to.

Nearly half the attacker drop to the ground and are crushed while only 3 survive the onslaught of point defences

New song ready
youtube.com/watch?v=Od6hY_50Dh0

"I HAVE NO REGRETS!!!"
>Bobo charges the King and Karl.
"HACK HACK TEAR YEAR!!1"

> Carter's ship leaves the atmosphere.

Okay,so there's Perfected everywhere.Luckily I have a stealth mechanic,but even then we'll be noticed eventually.

I'm going to get some tea,Beally.Dukedom-made stuff is the best in the business,so I stored a few in the back.

Want anything?

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>I stamp on them

Die insects

"Carter whats... whats happening to me!"
>The fear and terror in Beally's voice is apparent.
>Tremors and screams rack her material body while psionic screams emanate from the girl
"Please no oh FUCK MAKE IT STOP!"
"AWWW JEEEZ RICK OH FUCK IT HURTS."
"WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE I'M BEING UNMADEEEEEEEE?"
some Green tea please.
"OH THE ANGONY

>Whirls and impaled him on his sword shoving his gun barrel into his mouth. Holding the trigger down and dumping the entire magazine into his brain.
Ehhh I didn't like you anyways. And Astral you took control of our friend while he's trying to fight a giant monster. You're gonna get us all killed you giant fucktard.

"please Lord Commander it'll take a lot more than scrape code to take out me of the fight!"

What monster? I was just shooting wannabe rapists
>astral is then decked by a body slam from Godzilla, he gets back up

Okay ill give you moot control, dodge that giant bitch

Green tea coming right up.

After I stabilize you,of course.
>Carter injects a needle into her arm,which had been ripping itself into tentacles from the pain.

Fuckers might have used psionic mind rape shit.I just infected you with null liquid.You can't use psionics for a couple minites,but it may stop what's happening.

Thread theme:youtube.com/watch?v=7gas70CIUa0

>"Dodge? We're gonna punch that fucking biotitan Xeno scum in the Jaw."
>youtube.com/watch?v=lfKOD-p9tz0

Finally. I have to say even Jameson is more competent then you fucks.
>Jameson perks up and futilely trying to flame Godzilla from the top of the Titan
On second thought..
I am pumped as shit right now for this shit

>I like you war machine, Let us fight

I swing my cannons around and let loose, bringing my other hand round with a chain sword to start dicing

Rolled 4, 10, 11 = 25 (3d20)

>the titan puts a foot near the admiral and drags him aboard with servo skulls

youtube.com/watch?v=HZjBEQ0atuo
"enemies of the Empire hear ME!"
>The titan's great battle horns transmit a speech.
"You Have come to this universe to die, Luckily for you I am the one who shall deal it."
"COME GET SOME!!"
>With that the titan unleashes all firepower in a bright flash, the flash is seen off planet.
Come here little admiral. I want you to have a nice seat during this.

youtube.com/watch?v=sFAKECUeew0
"hahahahahMUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
>The holy man drinks in the prophesies in a light that echos of evil..

Just so you guys know,I'm recording this from my ship.
I'm gonna make this fight mandatory viewing for all Serenity ambassadors.

Who are you?
>Carter opens a screen to view the Serenity,and hand Beally her tea.

>Pipes up from bed.
"This is what being a fed is all about!"

Rolled 4, 17 = 21 (2d20)

>my fire mises, but my blade and kick follow through
FOR MY AMUSMANT DIE

(and again)

I nominate this as a Federation battle anthem
m.youtube.com/watch?v=KIsv1YOFNys

"I.. I am High prophet of the Perfected ,Cordon Bleu, but you may refer to me as lord."

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Again my aim is off but the chainsword severs the beasts arm as it tryst to swing

YOU USE THE FUKING GUN

(last hit to end tis)

NO THIS youtube.com/watch?v=HJNz2QgSNsk

I WILL BE FOR YO N A MOMENT

Hahahahaha
>the blade rips into t's throat, tearing apart the sinew of the throat o astral manic laughter