Pet peeves

>complaining about systems that we aren't even using
That guy hates DnD with a passion and the rest of the group hasn't once even hinted that they want to play DnD anything, yet that guy still can't leave it alone

Oh, we know the feeling here on Veeky Forums.

>rolling before declaring action
>asking for a "do over" for a bad roll
>doing something stupid then demanding it be taken back when suffering consequences... "Just joke'n bro."
>using the term "joke'n"
>showing up too late
>showing up too early
>not reading the PHB or equally appropriate rules
>demanding a map of the current dungeon... It's a lost dungeon... Draw you're own fucking map or risk getting lost
>demanding a map of the besieged town because it's "hard to visualize where baddies are coming from"... Building have roofs or second stories for a reason.
>mixing up you're and your

>>showing up too early
How's that a problem? Also, what constitutes "too early"?

Show me one good piece of fiction written entirely in this way.

It hurls immersion out of the nearest window, though.

You do know that greentexting isn't always quoting someone, right?

>Mixing up your and you're
You're as in 'you are'
>Draw you're own map or risk getting lost
I get that it was probably auto correct, but it's still pretty ironic.

>Playing on IRC
>People use /me for actions

In the worst case they don't even use quotes for dialog, they just don't /me there

>In short, it's incorrect usage of tenses. 'Would' should only be used in potential circumstances.
I'm assuming there's an implied "If the situation we're role-playing occurred, my character would...." Of course, that doesn't mean it couldn't be irritating. I've never had somebody do that in one of my games though.

Look at this nerd trying to escape reality. Its a game you silly loser.

It's totally legitimate.
It's just also really, irrationally, annoying to me personality.

I peeve myself constantly

I mean multiple hours. Had a coworker show up a good three hours before our game. If I'm in the mood I'll hang out a bit, but I had to tell the guy to leave so I could pick my daughters up from school and all that jazz.

Where do you find rp text groups? Everything I've seen has been voice.

Sometimes you're roleplaying a character with knowledge well beyond your own. Let me just roleplay my character's strength too.

I sometimes text RP to add a little characterization if the GM is busy having stats talk with another player, or someone else needs the main lime-light. I don't want to interrupt anyone for what would basically be my character drawing in the snow because hes a barbarian who only cares about fighting and there is no fighting going on right now.

At least you don't have people talking about attacking licks in mealy combat, and drinking a healing drought if their puhladdin gets hurt by a stone gollum wielding a skyth.

There is a distinct difference from considering what happens next and "GM, what happens if I attack this guy?"

I am clearly talking about the second one

Well you know.
Actions speak louder than words.

I literally do the second one but only when I'm trying to make a tactical assessment and the GM isn't giving me all the information my character should have.

There is nothing wrong with RPing by text, although I only have experience in freeform, plot based text roleplaying

Uhm, I've played in 3 campaigns that went a year+ with text-only. I love the fact that we did because I can read the logs whenever I want and remember things, and also just have those memories.

Hell, one of those campaigns was literally with 5 RL friends sitting around a table on laptops, RPing through text.

>Hell, one of those campaigns was literally with 5 RL friends sitting around a table on laptops, RPing through text.
Ok, no slur on online text-only games, those are fine, but this sounds autistic as fuuuuuuuck. If you're literally IN THE ROOM with them, fucking talk to them. What the flying fuckass fuckshit is this fucking shit?

>every campaign has to be wacky lolsorandumb adventures
>every pc has to be a watered down Old Man Henderson expy
>alternately, every pc is a money-driven murderhobo

stop spouting ancient Veeky Forums memes you found on 1d4chan and expecting them to describe every game ever

we did OOC talk and jokes out loud. But all of us agreed that we thought it was better for deeper characterization, even if it took a bit longer. So all IC business was done through text.

Why's that autistic?

I have played with people who used would. I have played with people who used past tense when everybody else used present tense. I have played with people who used /me. I have played with people who would simply say, "I did X." I have played with people who wouldn't use punctuation, including quotation marks. I have played with people who wouldn't even mark the separation between their actions and their words with a simple period between the two sentences.

I don't like any of them, but more than that, I really don't like the inconsistency. If everybody was using past tense, I'd switch over. If everybody was wouldposting, I'd switch over. It's the refusal of any of these people to switch to the room's convention that truly drives me up the wall.

I like handling this the way Burning Wheel does. You're always allowed to know what happens if you fail, but once the GM sets an obstacle there's no backing out of a test to try something you hope will be easier.

It seems annoying at first, and especially mean in Torchbearer, but after getting used to it being a hard rule it's noticeable how often people will try it in other games

See, that's fine user, using it in a "Thing happens, how do you respond?" sense works. OP is talking about people that preface every action with "would"
>Fuckboi would look across the room
>Fuckboi would draw his sword and charge the Orc, where he would roll to attack
>Fuckboi would reply to the Duke with a single word. "Would"

I can relate. I have a dude who shows up several hours early, consistently, and talking to him about it just resets the problem for a few weeks. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't generally a little busy with prep and cleaning in that time, or if he was one of the people from the group I like to hang out with out side gametime. He's just cripplingly awkward, though, and will just show up and hole up in a corner with his DS/laptop while my fiancee and try to finish what we were doing

Tell him to wait in his car? Set a hard time, and don't open the door for him until then?

He walks, and it's far enough that I can't really send him back home. At least not without feeling kind of bad about it. I'm really not sure what to do about him. I've flat out told him don't be here before X o'clock, and I've had other players and even myself offer him rides but he just kind of shrugs it off like he doesn't get the hint.

That's pretty annoying. My condolences.

>Spend hours coming up with all sorts of tools to add to a scenario to augment player character skills.
>Environmental hazards and traps that the players can use against their enemies. Opportunities to catch the enemy in a crossfire or outmaneuver them. Contacts the PCs can befriend to aid them in conspiracy or war.
>Players steadfastly refuse to use ANY of the tools I give them, charge headlong at the problem and get angry at ME when they fail.

>>showing up too early
See, this one's hard for me to complain about, given that one of my players is basically responsible for kicking me out of bed in time for session.

>In short, it's incorrect usage of tenses.
I completely relate, OP. Your player used a tense that made you angry. My father beat me daily for my entire childhood, giving me physical/ mental/ emotional/ relational issues that continue to this day. Looks like we both have it bad, you stuck up piece of shit

>OP makes pet peeve thread
>Lists things that irrationally upset him to some degree
>Look at this and decide to get booty-flustered

Seems like your dad either beat you too much or not enough, you rectally ravaged sperg.

I'll give you an example of what I mean. This was such a shitty experience, that I stopped gaming with this group.

Many years ago, I was running a Deadlands Hell on Earth campaign that didn't last very long for reasons that will soon be obvious. The PCs were a group of heroes who freed a small town from Black Hat control.

The PCs of course pretty quickly decided they didn't like the Combine very much so they proceeded to spend several sessions royally fucking up the Black Hats shit and really manage to piss The Combine off so they send out an elite death squad to hunt down the PCs. The players end up being chased by a large Black Hat contingent into the ruins of a bombed out town. The PCs retreat into the ruins, so the Black Hats send in 2 Automatons to hunt them down (giant stompy death robots controlled by Zombie brains).

I went into great detail about how precarious several of the buildings looked, and the piles of old fuel drums in the corner of one garage that could be macguyvered into a bomb.

The players proceed to ignore all of this, and try attacking the Automatons with conventional weapons. They are promptly shredded into a fine red mist by heavy machine gun fire.

Cue a 30 minute argument over how I am a shitty DM and how the encounter was "poorly balanced."

>The players didn't take my exact carefully laid out cutscene route thus they are bad players

Dude, come on.

I offered them numerous opportunities.
Macguver a bomb

Lure an Automaton into a building and collapse it on the robot

just run away

They steadfastly ignored all of them, then got angry at me when they failed.

Roll20 has a search setting for "Text Only"

>The DM never takes a second to let the player roleplay
>Action is always non-stop
>Whenever we try to discuss a problem, in or out of character, he gets annoyed and rushes us along by having the problem escalate.

I would type an angry response to your post due to your general lack of reading the thread.

Autism, not the meme Veeky Forums kind but the real kind

Idk what to do about it, though

>DM too eager to showcase his awesome setting
>PC cannot influence one single thing 3 hours into the game

>playing roleplaying game, not trying to get immersed in the role

Have you considered playing a different game instead?

I don't think you understood what I was trying to say. I'm saying that the player treats the entire game as a hypothetical situation. Like "Oh, if a dragon were to swoop out of the clouds and breathe fire at the character I created -- like you just described -- he would...." Mind you, I'm not endorsing talking like that; I'm just theorizing about the reason for it.

If he just sits quietly in the corner while you clean and set up, I don't really see what the problem is. Maybe you just feel awkward because you feel like you need to entertain or at least interact with your guests, but if you could let that go, it might not be an issue. You've told him when he should show up, and that is your window for interaction. If he shows up before that, just say hello and let him know you'll be busy until the appointed hour, then politely ignore him.

>This is entirely correct usage.
No, no it isn't.

That was physically painful

I have dealt with these people and they are not smart enough to follow all of the steps you described.

I just want people to quit saying "mealy" combat. I've almost resigned myself to the fact that everybody is going to say gall-em instead of goal-em -- just like mana is universally pronounced man-uh rather than mawn-uh -- but for the love of god, just learn to say melee correctly. Well that and lich. I will savagely mock you for calling them lick lords. (Puhladdin and skyth are thankfully extreme rarities.)

Just try to recruit him into doing menial labour for your household. You could have a free autistic house maid in no time.

I let my players bend a bunch of rules (rerolls and such), but they got super salty when the villain did.

Paladins are your pals, lich'es aren't lichen, and SUPER SMASH BROTHERS MELEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I can imagine that piece of shit DSP at your table screaming WOOOOOOWWWW HOW THE FUCK? AH AH AH AH AH *sealclapping*

I agree with your group's choice. I think it's a great idea, and wish my friends cared enough about narrative and roleplay to try such a thing.

Got him.

Okay, skippy, I want you to imagine this in an RP-appropriate context

>Player one writes "Fellathor The Green waggles his wand threateningly as he prepares his deadly Lung-Lunge!"
>Player two writes "Stanrod Blacknail would dodge under Fellathor's lunge. Before Fellathor would be able to react, Stanrod would thrust his pig-sticker into Fellathor's ribs if he did not move out of the way."

Does that help you understand how awkward this kind of writing is?

Of all the ways you could illustrate it, having it be a situation where the player is stating actions that the PC intends but may or may not actually be able to do is probably the least effective way of all.

I think itz suz it looķs like feeform ropley and he wsnt$ sometjng like "i attack" or less desćriptive and faster to go in tourns. I mean i can ki,da se

...Do you need someone to call an ambulance?

call 911 user you're having a stroke

Also if that's the case, Stanrod is still committing a cardinal sin of freeform roleplay that iirc is called 'godmoding' by dictating shit about other characters like 'Before fellathor would be able to react'

Anyway In 15 years of RPing I've never seen this 'would' shit and it looks hella dumb.

You see it a lot in certain corners of the internet. The autistic corners. Like 'Gaia/Bad F-List session/FurAffinity comments roleplay' autistic.

I see it all the time on FFXIV, from a select few players. A dozen people RPing, only one of them would-posting, and it's like why.

When the barbarian tries diplomacy and knowledge checks

I'm calling it. This user wins.

>toon
>choosing careers in warhammer
Fucking dropped

>It's Freeform

Anyone here play MU*s?

What, like Multi User Dungeons?

Yeah, but the RP focused ones, like MUSHes and RP-enforced muds.

>playing dumb character
>smart characters forget to ask questions or investigate things that seem so fucking obvious to me, but my character would never do

We just left on a huge adventure to find a a magical item that had been stole, without asking when it had been taken, if anyone had seen anything, without investigating the scene of the crime etc

We have no idea where to go other than one of the PCs guessing it was some cult and so we're headed there. Next time I'm playing a brainbarian.

Weird thread to ask it in, but yeah, I've played a couple. TGMUD in particular. What about them?

My RL group used to do a similar thing, if only because I asked them to do so. For two reasons mainly. One, my memory is horrible thanks to my health, so the chatlogs mean I have easily sort through everything that has happened. Two, I'm not a good speaker, I do a lot better by text, so generally my players do the same. Some of us still do voice though. And it's not like we don't speak to each other to joke and whatnot or make plans OOC.

Currently though, it's all just text, since everyone's gone now.

In my games, it annoyed me when players asked for the DC of a roll.

It broke my immersion a little when they did, so I instructed them to accept that I would tell them if a task would be Piss easy, Very easy, easy, Average, difficult, very difficult, almost impossible and straight up impossible.

That way their characters can assess risk and reward better, especially if they play a smart character.

REEEEEEEEE, I put up with a guy in my 4e group that insisted everything needed to be optimized or the world was going to come crashing down on the party. Sort of soured me on 4e (and D&D in general).

I have this guy but as a DM.

Sometimes I think he'd be happier if he just statted all our characters himself, and maybe we'd be happier too because we'd stop dying to his fucking bullshit battles that don't account for things our team reasonably doesn't have.

Murderhobo attitude.

Just that. I've even seen players I normally consider good exhibit it, because they were bored. Yeah, we're all going to be bored when you're going to put 100% of the weight on the GM, you faggot. And especially in our last game combat was the most grating, boring aspect of the game, so two players zoning out outside of combat and pretty much just not partaking in RP at all really killed it for me. Especially because the GM also fucking sucked at creating compelling characters. So I'm playing my character, and the other guy is playing his, and all the others are just there to roll the dice.

So go play yahtzee, you cunts.

I'm in a game with a player who like that, I think.

He doesn't interact with anything or anyone unless there's a possibility of looting it for stuff or killing someone. All other situations, he's either rushing conversation along if he can't ignore the NPC, or pointedly saying his character is somewhere in the background eating one of his many, many travel snacks if he can.

God I hate summer

Fuck you

>RP by anything
>people who use the same character all the time
>and by same character i dont mean "they always play a girl who's a dragon loli" or something dumb i mean "they play the exact same character, personality and backstory wise, just with the name changed

Who let a hive mind of ProJared's DMs post on here?

I'm close to giving up on my group and finding a new one at the LGS.

>try to start a game up of Black Crusade
>Friend once tried to GM it BUT he never read the rules didn't know how to play, and constantly reflected the fact that he didn't know jack or care by promoting a "randumb" game with no foundation of anything besides "You play as a traitor, you guys hate each other!"
>The game devolves into petty PC actions with the irl result of people not talking for a while
>time to go back to being forever GM
>I built 6 Renegades to randomly assign whoever showed up
>only wrote up mechanics and such seeing how everyone should have a chance to make the character their own
>as a result, they share a basic skill set and inventory which is more than enough to get them through broken chains by shooting everything.
>the team has history of working together as a part of the last remaining members of a merc crew
>Planning on playing through Broken Chains, Tyrant's Cord one, then Temple of Lies so everyone can understand how the game works and have a little chance to flesh out characters
>"user said he'd rather play X"
>"My premade characters aren't minmaxed."
>"But I don't want to play a premade adventure."
>"Lol I walk into the void so I can play a different character"
>"I want to make my own snowflake so I can be different."
>"This guy is weak compared to the CSM I built for the last game that wasn't run properly by other GM."
>"I'm busy for two weeks now."

What part of "THE LAST REMAINING TEAMMATES OF A MERC CREW IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND? I'm just trying to run a fucking game without having to randomly change paces so you can meta game your character to someplace that you have no reason to be there. I get I'm running a very linear game but it's just to get a grip on how it plays out since I READ THE FUCKING CORE RULE BOOK AND CAN PUT THIS SHIT INTO PLAY.

Chaos would be proud.

For the sake of immersion, and since I play online since most of my friends moved away for grad school, I actually pass my ideas and questions on to the "smart" characters through private chat. I don't need credit, as long as SOMEBODY asks the fucking question or remembers the piece of gear that would be really helpful right now.

>RP by text
>everyone uses a different tense instead of standardizing

Just keep asking him "Does he, though?". He'll drop it eventually.

>ERP
>someone starts acting out their deviant fetish on your character without clearing it OOC first
>it's not even listed in their profile as an interest so you didn't know it was coming
>they assume your sudden silence means you're getting carried away fapping rather than staring in slackjawed horror
>it's so gross and horrible that you can't help but judge them for it
>the OOC chat for the group is permanently awkward because you don't respect them anymore.

A simple heads up could have prevented all this.

Dumb barbarians saying smart things is acceptable as long as they level it out with something really stupid afterward.

That's the way it seems to work for us, at least.

But that's for guys who are legit stupid due to extremely low intelligence and a conscious decision to roleplay a dumb character. In the words of the player, "too dumb to know he's Evil". In typical examples the characters aren't often all that stupid, but simply have below average intelligence. Well, that counts for half the people you see on the street. And intelligence is not exactly the same as "smart", so even a low intelligence character could be observant. He won't be explaining Fermant's Last Theorem anytime soon, but he'll know to ask basic questions.

It can feel weird to take a "face" role for a character that wasn't really intended for it, but there are no real arguments against it. Alternatively, you could just remind the other players OOC that they're supposed to be asking questions.

It's pretty annoying when people think that just because a character has low int that they have to be a drooling retard 24/7. I've met some dumb as fuck people who have the occasional bit of brilliant insight.