Tell me about the time your whole party was killed

Tell me about the time your whole party was killed.

>anti-paladin cannot not pass a goblin without attempting to kill it
>goblins killed his family or some bull yadda yadda yadda...
>gave an amazing speech at a town hall
>people are leaving their homes in the middle of meals to come hear his talk
>Rouses an incredible mob of people to raid this infamous gigantic goblin conglomerate infesting an ex dwarf mine
>they'd been making crude explosives and destroying shit with it, as goblins do
>didn't really pay attention to this part
(1st mistake)
>promises shares of the unfathomable wealth to all these plebs
>me and thief devise a plan
>hire very very expensive mercs to aid in the raid
(2nd mistake)
>charm them with large percentages of the untold wealth

>approach the mountain
>literal mob of townies, headed by small band of fancy smancy mercs, headed by our party
>thief and I hatch a plan
>use the mercs and townies as fodder for the swarms and swarms of goblins
>send expensive mercs in first so we dont have to pay them when they die
(1/2)

>can see the cliff face.
>goblin hole teaming with scum
>anti-pal killing goblins as we approach
>he's gonna charge with the mercs
>I, evil sorcerer, has to literally sleep spell his ass so he doesn't kill himself
(3rd mistake)
>passes out in the middle of the the charging mob
>thief and I drag his ass away from the fray as the first line of mercs approach the entrance
>dm casually mentions that we notice a particularly zealous blast mage leading the front line
>look at thief
>"who tf hires a blast mage for an explosives raid?"
> he shrugs

>see the dm rolling for the blast mage's arcane explosion
>fucking natural 20
>KABOOM
>Ground shutters
>Cracks spreading in cliff face
>stones the size of houses falling from the cliff
>one squashes a whole slew of townies
>start dragging our heavily armored friend as far as possible
>mob is fleeing for their life
>most of the mercs survived and are fleeing as well
>one particularly scorched battle mage spots us making our getaway
>points axe at us and uses powerful voice
>"GET THEM"

>well... we ditched the dead weight
>thief tried to hide. I think he climbed a tree or something
>mercs found him
>I'm a slow and fat sorcerer so I just surrendered
>our charismatic anti pal woke up and tried to smooth talk his way out
>"the shaft is closed! the goblins cant get out! we solved your problem!"
>rolls for persuasion
>fumbles
>"Its not our fault that mercs are idiots and you plebeians can't go one day without getting yourselves killed"
>lynched on the spot
>merciless DM was tired of our shit and poor decisions

desu we got what we deserved. we had already had our fair share of lucky breaks and good rolls. dm had been nice in the past and how often is it that there is literally a mob of townies and powerful mercs with a knife to your whole party's throat? It was a fitting end to a unruly party. remember, all good luck comes to an end.
(2/2)

>fight dragon
>dragon always wins

Was that really the best picture to use for this thread? On a blue board?

I mean, I've seen shit like this so often, what, with the growing up in Western Europe and its WWII guilt infested school system that it doesn't actually shock me or anything. But I would consider it in poor taste, and an invite to unrelated topics, which I may have already spurred on by making this post.

But then again, I've never had a TPK.

Did you get lost on your way to Reddit?

Damn that's edgy.

...

shit... sorry bro. lets just pretend the slave trade never happened. We'll keep this little thread on one of the most infamously atrocious forum websites pg just for you whitey

can peeps just tell me your dnd demises fuck

Came to this thread to let you know that because something exists that doesn't allow you to post dead people on blue boards. Go cut yourself to feel alive or whatever you edgy kids do in your free time.

TPK'd in rifts. dark sorcerer had been literally channeling random portals all game. shit hit the fan when we stumbled upon a vampire blood farm. he ripped open time and space and we all flooded onto an island in the midst of a typhoon. gm gave us plenty of opportunities to save ourselves but bad luck and bad choices nailed the coffin

sorry :( I've learned my lesson and it wont happen again

>rolling dice to cast a spell
>fumbling a skill check
None of this shit ever happened, you lying faggot

blast mages are no bueno. aoe is a multi edged sword with most of the edges pointing at you and your friends

oh, fuck off

Half iron golem red dragon

Fucker hit us with 3d6 con damage, which outright killed the rogue and sorcerer. Then he fire breath'd the rest of us for a hundred or so damage.

The gm made that "all a dream" and rewound the session, as we had two of five people missing and a TPK would have been mutiny

nah it happened. havent played since 5th came out so its been a fortnight. admittedly I do not remember the mechanics, so you are probably correct in your grievances, but I promise you, it definitely happened.

...

>be dming for two groups
>both, at one point, had to kill a vampire
>vampire is the town's mayor, and was having a parade during the night
>the fact that he's a vampire is known to everyone in town
>first group goes full russian spetsnaz operators and creates a plan to drop a bag of holding bomb on to him, crushing two buildings on his head, and covering their retreat with force wall and explosive traps, while two other players had started a gang war to get guards' attention.
>they succeed and escape via underground river

>party number two
>"well, ugh, we just ambush and kill him during the parade"
>guards and vampire destroy them.

Last real tpk my group had was when I ran last.

>party is 8th level, overgeared but monetarily poor
>been sitting on rumors about a dragon destroying border towns
>decide to investigate
>find a town devoid of life and obvious acid burns, dragon tracks and lizardfolk feet
>get ambushed at town spring by lizardfolk
>shaman used device to confuse druids tiger
>it eats him then runs off
>without resting, they push into the well and fight warband of lizardfolk using springs to move around
>fight them, get banged up and necromancer is down on spells
>push on looking for dragon
>find a cavern with magical darkness along the ceiling
>stand in the door way discussing their strategy in character
>move into the room one at a time
>dragon kills rouge and ranger in one round
>barbarian and necromancer stay to fight, dont run
>barb misses both attacks, gets chewed on
>necromance tries to cast in melee, AoO to near death
>eaten on the same round

I felt like shit but honestly, they never slowed down just threw themselves into danger and kept steaming forward until they hit a wall.

based gm
Im trying to picture something iron golem/red dragon
I always imagine golems being stiff and almost robotic, while dragons are slithery, wiggly, reptilian, and organic

2012 called, they want their insult of the week back.

>2012
>week

Holy shit, the first one sounds awesome.

nah they dumber than my party. you push blindly and stupidly, you die blindly and stupidly

pretty advanced shit.
rifts? fate/fudge?

Yeah but the 90s called, and said you can keep their bad joke.

Like yeah, my first group is operator as fuck. Fuckers got so much killer instinct that it's interesting even for me to watch how they deal with enemies.

Nah, just a homebrew of 5e

howd they get the buildings in the bag

Ohm I probably didn't spell it out correctly. They dropped the bag of holding bomb onto him and THEN exploded the building so that they would crush the vampire if he survives.

I was imagining them putting a building in the boh and opening it above his head

Fucking lol

Storytime, user, please. I may need an inspiration for next session.

Happened to me twice in a row with the same GM. I ragequit and never associated with him again. Pretty much never happened to me ever since.

> PF campaign
> Level 1
> We're part of the army, its our job to go into the ghetto and 'clean up' any resistance
> First fight is against level appropriate resistance members
> Second fight is against 3 level 6 paladins with greatswords

The weird thing was that this GM was the more balanced one in the group and he legit thought that 6 level 1 players could take on 3 level 6 paladins.

>plot hook is that the temple-city and smaller towns get attacked by undead, some are wiped out
>the church dispatches a kill-team with "make those fuckers pay" orders

>a landlord that helped the vampires turtles up in a castle
>telepot part of the wall away, go in with a darkness spell, breach-and-clear until the room the landlord turtled in. He and his men get fog/lightning comboed

>a necromancer hides in a crypt
>enlarge him so he can't leave through the door
>drown the fucker along with the crypt

The slave trade is fake news. The men in the image were serial rapists, and were hung for molestation.

Look it up, it's true.

fuck yeah. I'm a good guy afterall