Angry Storytime

Any highlights you can share?

>exist
That was your first mistake my dude.

Sorry. Give me a moment. Captcha shit itself again for like, the third time today. I got a quickie...

Shouldn't you be busy making yet another duplicate "When did you realize that D&D is garbage" thread right now?

Anyway, you can set this shit to a formula
>Disguise character to be not female
>Characters meta that shit out most of the time
>Disguise breaks
>DM has to plan for the birdmen's great quest for pussy and quickly bring it to a cease.

More in detail, it would go on like this...

>Be stuck in a time loop because railroading has to stop at some time so we can solve puzzles and shit
>I have managed to hide my identity as a female to the group after having gone through extensive amounts of bluff checks, but they can smell the juices from my netherlands
>Thanks to the DM's quick thinking, he managed to stump the entire party on some kind of cultist symbol, and distract from the fact that I was indeed a woman.

Fuck I hate having to bring that up so much but the fact that the two birdmen had to keep capitalizing on the fact makes it integral to this story.

>Get into battle and duke it out with the cult.
>Get damaged, and the cloak I had borrowed from a dead guy a few towns back, which was the only thing concealing my identity, is ripped to shreds
>begin the endless cycle of dryhumping that insued.
>even the bugbear attempted to "get in on the fun", as he called it.
>The BBEG of the week has to step in to monologue in order to stop them from gangbanging me on the spot

How I desperately wish DnD wasn't the one setting all the norms for the hobby.

If it weren't, then whatever other really popular game came up to challenge it would quickly come across the same problem.

As someone that doesn't much play D&D, I find it a decently functional gateway into the hobby. It weeds out the weak, those that don't actually care about roleplaying that much or don't want to behave and have fun with everyone: the ones that can be convinced to move on from it and into less popular, better designed systems are more invested, more sensible, open to self-improvement, and usually generally all right.

>play DnD
>Complain

really rustle my whisle

OK, here's the deal: From now on, I'm going to do this for every system that is not D&D.

I should start mentioning the small glimmers of hope that this campaigm had going for it.

>we need to find out who's been stealing supplies from the innkeeper
>the bugbear is on it like bugbears are on honey, which may or may not be because honey actually was stolen
>we start using him like a police dog sniffing for cocaine, but instead it was minions of the XLEG (Extra Large Evil Guy because the campaign featured several) doing generally unpleasant ransacking
>Bugbear decimates the first fucker it sees transporting honey, killing him in mere seconds.

I gotta say, when the party isn't trying to fuck me every other second, we work like well oiled machines of murderbone. That lasted about two rounds.

And then my cloak got pulled off by a dying mercenary, revealing my identity once again, and I curse the DM for bringing back my torment...

Anyway, I need sleep. It's been a sleepless night for me and I gotta be ready to hang out with Wizbro later today. It is now someone else's turn to take up the mantle of namefag.

great answer, +1 upboat

Fuck sleep.

Lets turn this into a "General shit that grinds my gears in a tabletop game" thread. I don't wanna see this die with a "lol upboat". If we got stories we can share.

You could probably guess but the thing that really grinds me gears is ERP.

Surprisingly I am okay with people doing this. You're consenting adults you can do whatever the fuck just keep it out of our public games.

>TFW you care about roleplaying
>TFW you used to spend hours making up stories with your friends or on forums doing cooperative writing
>TFW you avoided tabletop for literally years because the DnD "gateway" was the most awful dysfunctional "roleplaying" experience you've ever had, not even due to the players, but due to the shitty design of the system itself
>TFW you assumed all tabletop games were this bad because of DnD
>TFW me

>TFW timing
Christ you managed to scare the hell outta me what

Gonna have to explain this one to me.

I dunno but I had that jump you get when something startles you mildly. Like a small jumpscare in a movie but I blame it on lack of sleep and chrome notifications fucking with me.

Tried telling them 'No'? Or did they just not listen/care?

Yes

>didn't use it for some IC roleplay that could lead to some PvP with you and wizman vs the rest of the party

I mean, the group was already lost, might as well send it off with a bang and then you have a valid reason to back out of the game

Well, I did something like that at the end where me and my character collectively got sick of this shit, went insane and slowly planned out their demise in the game. I should have gotten Wizbro in on it though.

Didn't care?

All the above

Should have blasted them when they tried, then. In game or RL.

I am not much for storytime, so instead I'll share a funny character idea my GM received once for his golden age supers game.

As you probably know, Golden age comic book superheroes are those where the heroes are shining beacons of Justice in a noblebright setting with light-hearted content.

Mutants and Masterminds 3e was the system we used and then someone applied with a Karma-Cancer mage character. His ability was to inflict cancer passively to any criminal doing illegal things around him. And, as we all know, cancer is a very painful way to go.

Naturally, my GM did not accept him into the game.

kek

Sadly, my character was pretty badly built. I had gotten some unlucky rolls for my stats and I pretty much had only one positive modifier, save for my saving throws of course.

That would have been me in a different life honestly.

if your character got actually sexually assaulted and/or harassed, why didn't she exact revenge on on the offending party members? especially since she was apparently NE

Ah fuck I just remembered this, but we actually had a newcomer, a friend of the Aarakocra, join in on the shitlery too.

He rolled up a human bard because those are easy lets be honest.
>Be bard
>Hear about great band of somewhat questionable heroes
>Finally meet one of them
>"Great wizard Filbert! How I waited for this moment! Would you sign my arm for me?
>be ran over by horses and wagon
>last thing you hear before the wagon crushes your skull is the Kenku yelling "GET IN THE CULTISTS DRUGGED AARAKOCRA SENPAI AGAIN."
>MFW I was hanging out in the back of the wagon, finding ways to tamper with the wheels.

May I introduce you to posts and ?

I had shit stats. All I could really rely on was leveling up and letting the anger brew. I slowly went to the chaotic side of the spectrum as the campaign went on though.

you couldve slit their throats, poisoned them, hired assassins, ...

there are more options than mashing your stats against each other

Tell ya what, you DO make a good point. I'll be perfectly honest, I was not the brightest crayon in the shed, both in and out of character. This was a pretty long time ago for me, back when I was getting used to only being one small part instead of every other big part, as was my transition of DM to Player went.