In my setting, humanity is allied with advanced aliens who protect-

Not the guy you are talking to, but the real problem aliens isnt structure, its chemistry.

Roll 10 dice. Did all of them come up 4 at once? Those are the odds that skin contact with an alien wont poison either one of you.

Ph, chirality, hell even radiation... it only takes one thing to be off for the result to be toxic.

If an orifice isn't big enough for at least a smaller than average dick, then there's no way in hell it's going to be big enough to lay an egg.

> what are jellyfish?

>I got trolled for being a fucking moron
>IT'S ALL TEEGEES FAULT WAHHH!

Anything else you'd like to cry about in your blog today?

Depends on the size of egg, you moron. Some eggs on earth are so small you cant see them without a microscope.

You can fit your dick in a jellyfish.

Hey that's a good rhyme.

user, please dont enter into biology arguments if you have no knowledge on the subject

amphibian eggs such as frog eggs have a soft and flexible exterior and are typically very small (speaking in relative size to the animal)

also, jamming your dick into an orifice =/= sex

keep in mind this is still all based on actual Earthern biology. Alien biology could be far more bizarre, especially fictional alien biology, which can be whatever OP wants it to be

And they produce equally microscopic animals. What's your point?

But why would you want to?

They probably have manipulator appendages.
They can still have handjobs be a thing.
And likely, they have some sort of sexual stimulation that can be done to them.

>N-no they have no man-
How the fuck did they get tools? How did they arrive at the space age?

How was he a moron, apart from not kicking the lusty trekkie out faster?

>Two, there's more to sex than just penetration.
The player specifically used the word "fuck" and did not correct me when I took that to mean penetrative sex.

>Also, there's bound to be at least one stretchy alien out there.
Probably, but my game is not about searching the far reaches of the universe to discover one. At best you'd have to fuck one of the enemy aliens, which is obviously going to take a lot of work and risk for the opportunity.

'dis git has a trouble with his head
'e probably finks with what hangs below his odd sausage

Playing with players from Veeky Forums.

That's like sticking your hand into a beehive then getting angry at the bees for stinging you.

you are assuming they produce sexually
you are assuming sex is pleasurable to them
you are assuming they are interested in sex with an alien

unless, of course, you're not interested in having sex with an alien, and rape is fine too
in which case im not longer interested in talking to you

Hey guys, just letting you know that this is a troll thread and that you have all been trolled.

Stop trying to correct stupid people. They will never not be stupid. You aren't doing anyone any favors. You're just wasting your time, taking up space on the board, and letting a troll get his jollies all at the same time.

Stop it, you idiots.

>using stuttering greentext

>I'm no longer interested in talking to you
What the hell? Did you just trigger yourself?

>You assume they reproduce sexually
Sexual reproduction creates more ways to select as well as more ways to recombine existing genetic material. Even some bacteria can exchange genetic information. It's very very likely inteligent life would reproduce sexually or at least exchange genetic material. Hell even fucking plant life developed ways for sexual reproduction, like Jesus man.

>you assume they are interested
I assume you are just pushing excuses to make sure someone doesn't do things that make you uncomfortable.
Just say "no sex with aliens on my game, they -don't want to fuck you- and their psychology makes them averse to the Idea so that no persuasion will work"
This way you can stop making crappy arguments on biology.

>W-why are y-you using a literary r-recourse I disl-
Because fuck you.

I found it funny, and it's pretty goddamn common for PCs to just completely ignore and fuck up your campaign's intended direction.

>It's very very likely inteligent life would reproduce sexually or at least exchange genetic material

mate, its alien FICTIONAL biology. if they even use DNA in the first place, there's no reason it has to work the same way or indeed be molecularly similar. on top of that, in your very own post you give an example of asexually reproducing bacteria exchanging DNA

but yes, i do agree it would have been easier for OP to just tell that player to fuck off

>>Can I fuck the aliens?
>No, you cannot have penetrative sex with these particular aliens.
>>My character's primary motivation is to fuck aliens. I'm writing it down now.
>And I wrote down a month ago that you literally can't, it's impossible.
>>Nothing is impossible!

"You playing in my group is impossible, because I just kicked you out."

Now he can find a group willing to indulge his degeneracy, and you can find a player more suited to the game you want to run.

Problem solved.

>there's bound to be at least one stretchy alien out there
You fail to realize that he's talking about specific aliens, twatbrains

To prove a point.

Wrong.
A microscopic egg produced you.

It's only common for entitled shits. You agreed to play the campaign I was offering, so do so or fuck off. If you join a campaign with the intention of fucking it up, you should be subject to public beatings and humiliation.

>things that have never happened: the post
We get it, you don't like alien sex memes. You could've just said that without constructing such an obvious strawman

Stop bullshitting me I will make it fit

I won't allow you to stab a friendly alien just to fuck the open wound, so you'll have to change your own penis into a cluster of tendrils less than 7mm in diameter that break off inside the receiving holes.

Yes, PCs do that because they have their own wants and are usually unaware of the direction of the GM plot. You need to rectify it according to your needs as the campaign go.

>There is no hole in their body that would fit.
Frotting and handies, my nigga
>woods Allianz
Even captcha wants to give those ayylmanz some wood

This. If my years doing ERP have taught me anything at all, it's that you need to have the confidence to tell people no.

>implying you couldn't fuck an oversized mushroom in the gills
I wanna feel yo mycelium all up on my cock, bby

Where there's cybernetics there's a way.
Morphological freedom bitches.

And that's the last time you DM Kirk?

You'd think you'd be right.

But then you read the thread.

Indeed, where there is a will, a machine can likely make a way

Lmao, it looks like said player posted right away and look what a silly bastard he is.

Why would anyone want to play in a game with someone who actually uses the word "degeneracy"?

Are you retarded that thing clearly has holes.

>face it folks you're weird

You do know you're on Veeky Forums right? Like you're telling people on Veeky Forums that they're weird as if it should surprise them?

>any lifeform that isn't my personal cumdump doesn't deserve to exist

There's literally nothing wrong with this perfectly natural ideology.

If you don't know, then you'll never find out, because you wouldn't end up in a game with that big a vocabulary to begin with.

So does an electrical outlet. Why don't you put your dick in one of those?

Nothing at all... so long as it never appears in any game I run. That leaves plenty of other games for you and your greasy, neckbearded, hambeast friends to grope each other in.

>all eggs are the size of chicken eggs

>I'm a reddit transplant that discovered my new favorite word and came to /pol/ to join in on using it XDXDXD

You probably don't even have a Master's or Doctorate lol

honestly roll20 aint so bad as long as you put some actual time into interviews and stuff.